Moon Over Miasma

This is apparently how this scammer views my character.

As Carl Spackler.

Read the following and see if you don't agree:


Mr Wilford Moon <rev.sisitergraceazzem@gmail.com>

 

 Greetings.

I write to you based on a request by an investor and his need for
investment/funding in your country. My name is Mr Wilford Moon , a
financial  consultant with a reputable financial services firm here in United
State of America USA

My company most times represents the interests of very wealthy investors.
Due to the Sensitivity of the position they hold in their society and the
unstable investment environment of their country, they evacuate majority of
their funds into more stable economies and developed nations where they can
get good yield for their money.

A reserved Client, whom I had personally worked with few years ago came
with a proposal recently . What he request is an individual such as
yourself, who will be willing to receive money on his behalf abroad, and
put it to good standard use for a period not exceeding Six [6] years
for a start.

The client has offered these terms:

1. 5% commission paid to me and my foreign partner of the total funds
successfully evacuated. The funds in question is  $60 Million US
Dollars.

2. The funds will be used by the foreign partner for six years as a loan
without any interest. That is, you do not pay any interest on the money but
you give the client 50% of all profits after tax that was accrued from the
use of the funds.

If these terms are agreeable to you, kindly let me know and I will provide
you with all necessary information and procedures involved. All reply
should be sent to this Email: [willfordmoon@gmail.com] for urgent
attention.

Sincerely yours,

Mr Wilford Moon.
Consultant Officer 

 

 

If he doesn't believe my character to be the intellectual equivalent of Carl Spackler, he's certainly hoping for something akin.

 

So let's see how his expectations can be met with a reply like this h'yar: 

 

I have had time to read well and understand the contents of your email.

Now I want you to read well and understand the contents of your email and see if you understand well what I am seeing.

1.  You are Wilford Moon.
2. Using email of rev.sistergraceazzem@gmail.com
3. With response to willfordmoon@gmail.com
4. *pause to see that you follow me so far*
5. You have a client.
6. A client with money.
7. Money to invest.
8. He needs to invest in my country.
9. You are a financial consultant.
10. One, you say, with a reputable financial services firm in the United States.
11. He needs to invest in my country.
12. You are his financial consultant.
13. You are in the United States.
14. His is an unstable society.
15. He is a wealthy person in an unstable society.
16. He wants someone like me to scheme with him for a term up to 6 years.
17. His fund is $60 million.
18. He'll give me 50% of the profits.
19. After tax.
20. If I'm interested, respond to you.
21. Wilford Moon.
22. US based financial consultant.
23. Writing from rev.sistergraceazzem@gmail.com
24. Receiving email at willfordmoon@gmail.com
    

Would that seem to sum up the gist of it?  And do you read and understand well what I read and understand well herein?  

 

Apparently, the scammer's hopes that my character was, in fact, the intellectual equivalent of Carl Spackler were not realized after he perused my character's response.

 

Calling all Carl Spacklers out there...put down the gopher, back slowly away, and respond to this email....

 

When A Dough Boy Speaks, Leftards Listen

The left practically fouls themselves at any opportunity to take verbal and internet pot shots at The Donald.

To their aggrieved dismay, POTUS has amply demonstrated that he frequently doesn't much care.

But when POTUS does care enough to crank off a few Twitterpations, he doesn't reserve his 'tit for tat's to the deranged Left.

He's got more than enough for the pudgepot of North Korea, Kim Jong Un.

Un, of course -- never one to look a gift Quarter Pounder With Cheese in the mouth without inhaling it -- is a leftist's dream when it comes to insults back at The Donald.

Like the one he dredged up after the president's speech at the Eunuch Nations:  "dotard".

The leftist world was enchanted. 

Or least wise, that's how my editing-gone-wild pet rock, Seymour, sees it with this latest post of his:

Unimportant Celebrity Reactions: the human dirigible Kim Jong Un Calls Donald Trump A “Dotard”

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS September 25, 2017


Unimportant lamestream celebrities and news mediocres across a wide spectrum are reacting to Kim Jong-Un calling Donald Trump a “dotard” after the president threw down the gauntlet to North Korea during his U.N. speech earlier this week.

As Go Suck A Goat reported, Trump threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea's pudgepot dictator during his speech at the Eunuch Nations Genital Assembly in New York on Tuesday. He sternly told the crowd, “The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea.”

In response to Trump’s threat, the North Korean leader removed his feed bag long enough on Thursday to lapse into more of the usual over the top threats that North Korea is renowned for, calling the president a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.”

A centuries old word, “dotard” is used to describe an elderly person in a state of “decay.”

In a statement released by Kim Jong-Un, he said, “I’d rike to advise Trump to exercise prudence in serecting words and to be considerate of whom he speaks to when making a speech in front of the worrd.” Kim added, “I will surery and definitery tame the mentarry deranged U.S. dotard by kneering at footbarr game during nationar anthem.  That gonna show him!”

Trump later responded to his statement in a fiery tweet on Friday morning. He wrote, “The dough boy Kim Jong Un of North Korea, who is obviously a madman who doesn’t mind starving or killing his people and can't pronounce the letter “L”, will be tested like never before with a statement laden with “L”s!”

Of course, the unusual insult prompted a number of celebrities to jump on the Kim Jong Un bandwagon – with Un on it, there's not much room for others – simply because he made fun of their favorite politician to hate, Donald Trump.

“Dotard...just the word I was looking for!” mumbled Trump critic and full blown doughtard Michael Moore in between grain shovel fulls of junk food from his fast food dwindling manchion in Flint, MI.

Rosie O'Donnell, raging doughtardette offered, “Kim Jung Un is my new supersized hero!”

Meanwhile, Lawrence O'Doughtardonnell at pmsnbc missed the event while castigating the “idiots in the f***ing control room” for a record 9^th day in a row because they couldn't get his Trump bashing sound bytes in order in time for the emmys.

Maxine "DOUGHtard" Waters said, “How the f*ck did I spend this much time on earth without having realized that I am a doughtard?”

And Hank Doughtard Johnson wondered if “a dotard is enough to capsize Guam?”

Chelsea Dildoughtard Mishandler uncrossed her eyes long enough to ponder if she could hashtag dotard with a latte; then they so violently recrossed, Mishandler lost the little balance she has to land butt first on her thought processes.

After perusing his post, I told Seymour that he's probably no closer to a Pulitzer, but that he'd probably widened the gap on his having a shot at an emmy.

"Oh phhhhffffffft!"

I guess Seymour doesn't mind not having one of those useless things, either.

Where Scam Charity Begins And Ends

This is certainly where fraudulent charity begins, no question.

Back in April of this year, my character got a very bland email from a Zhe Wang that read as follows:

"He Pick You For Charity"

Please respond for more informations.  


So my character responded thus at the time: 

What do you mean, he "picked" me? What am I, a nose?

That response apparently put a bit of kibosh on a quick furtherance of the scammer's plan.  But only for a few months, as this was received in early August:


GOOD MORNING DEAR BELOVED

HOW ARE YOU DOING ND YOUR AMAZING FAMILY'S, ITS BEEN A WHILE I LAST HEARD FROM YOU. I HAVE NOT BEEN AROUND BECAUSE I MADE A TRIP IN RESPECT OF MY CHARITABLE BUILDING THAT IS GOING ON IN HUNG KONG  AND I CAME BACK JUST 3DAYS AGO AND I PLACE A CALL TO MY PAYOUT BANK AND THEY TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN IN CONTACT WITH THEM REGARDING YOUR DONATION FUNDS I DONATED TO YOU . I WAS SURPRISE BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD YOU TO KEEP IN TOUCH AT ALL TIME  BUT YOU DID NON OF THAT. 

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE DECIDED AND I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE BANK TO SEND YOU A CERTIFIED BANK CHQUE  THAT YOU CAN BE ABLE TO CASH ANY WHERE IN YOUR COUNTRY. THIS DONATION AND PROJECT HAVE TAKE TOO LONG THEN I EXPECTED THAT IS WHY I WANT THIS TI BE SPEED ENOUGH THIS TIME AND THIS WILL AT LIST BE OK FOR YOU AND EASY AS WELL. 

BELOW IS THE COURIER COMPANY THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DELIVERY TO YOU DOOR STEP AND NOTE THAT THE SENDING FEE IS ON YOU JUST AS I WAS TOLD BY THE BANK PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO CONTACT THEM ASAP BECAUSE IT HAS BE SENT YESTERDAY WITH THE SAID ADDRESS THAT YOU SENT TO ME BEFORE. THANK YOU AND WHEN YOU RECEIVE PLEASE DO KEEP ME POSTED THANK YOU.    

( Tara Courier Services Ltd.)

                     PHONE
CANADA /USA: +1 778-401-2768
EUROPE: +447087627094
AFRICA: +27810728890

                   CONTACT EMAILScontact.taracourierservice.ltd@gmail.com

accountholmesexpressdelivery@fengv.com  

              { WORK DAYS AND TIME}

Monday -Tuesday   8am-6pm

Wednesday-Thursday 8am-6pm

Friday - Saturday       10am-4pm 

KIND REGARD 

MS. ZHE WANG   


The scammer must have been desperate if they had to go back to April to attempt to elicit a follow up response from my character.

Far be it from my character, however, to disappoint:

What's so amazing about my famdamily?

- my parents fart the Name Game in c sharp

- after a trip to Bali, my oldest sister now shrinks heads -- toilets -- in case Tinkerbell needs a dunny

- after a trip to a sod farm, my youngest sister thinks sodomy is lawn building

- after a trip to the DNC, my older brother is convinced that Medusa lives, was elected to Congress by Floridians, and explains what happened to Anthony Weiner

- after a visit to cnn, my youngest brother thinks Donald Trump won the election because of cyber hacking from Uranus

We don't yet have our own "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" unreality show on the Bilderburgs Backchannel on cabal, but we're working on it.   

 

I reckon this will get a reply in the first quarter of 2018, if the scammer is still desperate...

Hollyweird's Butt Hurt

My pet rock, Seymour, reminded me that the Emmys were on the other night.

Eh...a bad high school football game is considerably more relevant and entertaining.

What are the emmys?  A bunch of self absorbed, triggered, whiny libs patting themselves on their asses while still obsessing about how Hellary was robbed and Trump won.  Other than the increasingly irrelevant political drivel on espn, ANY football game is far more entertaining than that crap.

Even the Jets.

Last time I checked, I think Hellary had some blame to shove Hollywad's direction for her loss, along with jammed Salad Shooters and a painful rectal itch outbreak on Uranus that kept their population being bussed in by the DNC to swamp the polls in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

Anyway, from what I hear -- because I won't waste good time wastage on fauxaward shows for the Hollywad left -- interspersed with their pompous vacuousness on meth, the entire show was dedicated to trashing the POTUS.

And one of their leading douche nozzles, Chelsea Mishandler, even tweeted so:

@Chelseashow

Congrats to all the winners, but let's not forget the true meaning of the #Emmys... to remind Donald Trump that he has never won one.

8:05 PM - Sep 17, 2017  

 

 

Twitter could hardly wait to deluge Mishandler with responses that basically left Hollywad further butt hurt.

 

Other realities can be added in:  lower viewer ratings for the emmys (everything's small for the left, other than the bloated michael moore) along with the creeping atrophy of movie ticket sales as Hollywad gets more and more screechy and deliberately further divorced from reality.

 

Some posts ago I had passed along a failbook rant from someone about how Hollywad whiners needed to remember that their job is to entertain us, not administer their arrogant and blatant hypocrisy in the form of political correctness and so-called social justice lectures.

 

It's obvious that Hollywad has doubled down on their hypocrisy and irrelevance.

 

No matter:  Hollywad will continue to atrophy toward irrelevance.  They're too self absorbed and narrow minded not to.

 

They'll always have their burning, beating and rioting fans in antifa to count on.

 

Meanwhile, I suspect that President Trump -- the mere mention of which is triggering Hollywad each and every time -- could give a damn about having never won an emmy.

 

Hellary never won the White House.

 

 

 

 *DEPENDS ALERT:  Hollywad just filled their diddies again*

My pet rock approves this message.

 

 

Picked A Dilly

The starling looks angry, ya think?  You'll see why shortly.

First, get a load of this load from a Scammer of Lloyds of London:


THE LLOYDS FLORISH FINANCE
16 GLEN  ASHCOURT ROAD MIDDLESEX
LONDON ENGLAND.
OUR REF: UK/FFS/RFD/XX2017
 FUND REMITTANCE DEPT.

ATTN: BENEFICIARY.

VALUE AMOUNT: Fifteen Million Pounds Sterling.(15,000,000.00Pound Sterling).
The Office of the Lloyds Florish Finance hereby write to confirm to you that we have received Information to release your approved fund 15,000,000.00 Pound Sterling to your designated bank account.
We have verified The Funds Authenticity, and we have been able to confirm that the FUND is 100% LEGAL. And the money must
 be Successfully Confirm In Your Bank Account. And your legally sum of GBP15,000,000.00 (Fifteen Million  Pounds Sterling).

We also authenticate the fact that your entitled amount of 15,000,000.00Pound Sterling is Safe for Immediately remittance to your own designated bank account,All necessary official modalities is being finalized in your favor and the Remittance Director of this the Lloyds Florish  Finance, shall communicate with you with Great Success within the Next few hours once you comply fastly with this instruction given in this letter.

THE INFORMATION HAS BEEN PROGRAMMED IN OUR WIRE SYSTEM SCHEDULE "TTC"
FOR FINAL REMITTANCE OF YOUR FUND.

TO NOTARIZE YOUR FILE AND CERTIFY YOUR FUND FOR REMITTANCE, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SEND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, YOUR FULL NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBERS TO THIS OFFICE OF THE ROYAL FINANCE IMMEDIATELY.
AT THE RECEIPT OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, WE WILL
 NOTARIZE YOUR FILE,CERTIFY YOUR FUND FOR IMMEDIATE REMITTANCE AND CREDIT YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT WITHIN 24 HOURS.

THANK YOU.

BEST REGARDS,

Jimmy Edward Mr
REMITTANCE OFFICER.
Email: jimmyedward60@hotmail.com  


How believable that, hmmm? 

Not much, and the edit will explain why the starling at the top looks mad:

THE LLOYDS OF PRICKADILLY
16 GLEN  ASHCOURT ROAD MEDIOCRESEX
LONDON ENGLAND.
OUR REF: UK/WTF/RFD/OMG2017
LEFTOVER HAGGIS & KIDNEY PIE DEPT.
 
ATTN:
 

We have what we believe  to be your Fifteen Pound Starling.  Bloody thing walked here from Prickadilly Circus, since a fifteen pound starling can't generate the lift to fly, wot.  

The Office of the Lloyds Of Prickadilly hereby write to confirm to you that we have your fifteen pound starling and we wish it returned to you soonest because the bloody bird is making a whacking great mess of our offices here.  Bloomin' thing must have diarrhea or something like it, wot.  Whacking great piles of dung every bloody where.  What do you mean, allowing a cock up like that overweight bird to walk about like that?  Crikey, the scruffet pecked the living Winston out of my Churchill faster than a wog nicks a crumpet.

We have verified that the bloody thing is yours, and that it is 100% ILLEGAL.  The House of Commons passed a law approved by Her Royal Magistrate Herself, announcing that anyone in possession of a fifteen pound starling would face the Queen's Justice.  Or Prince Phillip's farts.

We also authenticate the fact that the Princess of Cornball is planning to pluck and roast your fifteen pound starling if you don't bloody collect it up from us soonest.  All necessary official modalities is being finalized in order to get your angry bird back to you before the Prince Of Cornball's ears get any more extended, what with the ruddy bird yankin' on 'em all the time.

The Remittance Director of this the Lloyds Of Prickadilly shall communicate with you with Great Success within the Next few hours once you comply fastly with this instruction given in this letter.
 
TO NOTARIZE YOUR FILE AND CERTIFY YOUR FAT STARLING FOR REMITTANCE, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SEND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, YOUR FULL NAME, TELEPHONE NUMBERS, A LIST OF HOW MANY VIRGINS YOU KNOW AND A PHOTO OF WHAT YOU'RE WEARING WHEN YOU FEEL KINKY TO THIS OFFICE OF THE ROYALS INSTANTER, WHAT MEANS IMMEDIATELY.

AT THE RECEIPT OF WHAT WE BLOODY ASKED YOU FOR, WE WILL  NOTARIZE YOUR FILE, PLUCK YOUR BIRD, CERTIFY YOU AS A BLOODY YANK, AND DOWN A PINT OR TWELVE WITHIN 24 HOURS.
 

NOW BUGGER OFF, WANKER.

Jimmy Edward Mr
REMITTANCE OFFICER.
Email: jimmyedward60@hotmail.com

 

The scammer -- apparently the named person above -- did not find what he was looking for in my edit.  In fact, he was pretty to the point about his displeasure with it:

 

 

---

F**K  

 

 

I have no doubt that you are, and often.  That said, I'm happy to have improved your email for you as evidenced by your self gratified reply. I'm sure the others I shared it with enjoyed it too.  Write back any time you need another edit assist.  

 

 

So far, he hasn't felt the need for further edit assistance...

Deluded, Thy Name Is Hellary

For the last 30 years or so, every time the Democrats have lost a major election, their self analysis post mortem has always been the same, as dutifully reported without much if any challenge by their lamestream servile suckups in the media:

"We didn't get our message out".

Ummm...yeah, you did.  That's why more often than not you lost.

Ten months after the election, Ol' Hellary is mired in the same mindset.

Only worse.

Hellary's about to start a book tour.  For a book about why she says she lost the election.

More than 63 million Americans know the answer to that, and it won't be found in her book.

To date -- from the morning of November 9, 2016 -- Hellary has had an ever growing list of reasons of why she lost the election to....*gasp*...Donald Trump.  The list includes but isn't likely to be limited to:

Sexism.. patriarchy ... Twitter ... Wikileaks ... Obola ... Bernie ... the FBI ... James Comey ... the New York Times ... polling ... Vladimir Putin ... the Russians ... women costumed like vaginas ... Deplorables .. suburban women not dressed like vaginas ... the DNC ... the RNC ... Fox News ...voter suppression (not letting the dead and cartoon characters have a vote) ... conservative documentaries ... Joe Biden's hair plugs ... ignorant Americans ... painful rectal itch ... Halley's Comet ... cosmic flatulence ... *yawn*

Most recently added to her list of what's at fault for her loss...the Electoral College.

The dawning of a new day comes later for some.  Never for others.

Ettu, Hellary.

True or not:  allegedly Hellary's book tour goes to Canada, and well-heeled Canucks can meet with ol' Hell if they pony up $2400 for the "privilege" and get a Hellary-signed book the likes of this. 

If true, there's an awful lot of brain freeze goin' on up north.

Then again, there remains a great deal of that kind of delusional brain freeze in the lamestream mediocres right here.

You can bet that all of these pictured clowns will drop on their knees to buy Hellary's book.  And kiss her ring.

The delusional stupid is strong with them.

Of course, two things stand above all others in this equation:  Hellary's delusions..and Hellary's arrogance.

Even cartoon characters are at fault in Hellary's blinded eyes.

In the end -- an end Hellary will probably never face because she's too shallow and self-absorbed to grasp -- it comes down to this:  Hellary, you lost because...of you.

The end.  Meeep meep!

 

Dismissing The Dupers

This rather cracks me up.

One of my scam baiting characters got a solicitation email from.....the DSCC (aka, the Democrapic Senatorial Crimepaign Committee).  And allegedly authored by herself, the tribal priestess of Massachusetts, Lizzy Warren.


Here's what Lyin' Lizzy had to say:

Jack -- Hillary Clinton said that "it takes a village," and she was right. "None of us can raise a family, build a business, heal a community, or lift a country totally alone." I've seen what a village, a community, and a movement can do, one action at a time. And I've seen how women can help women -- especially when we run for office. I sure remember what it was like running for the Senate as a first-time candidate in 2011. I had to learn everything it took to raise money, build a grassroots organizing operation, and stand up to a Republican incumbent with $10 million in the bank -- and I had to do it fast. And here's what I know: I absolutely, positively couldn't have done it on my own. So when the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee told me they wanted a strong launch of the Women's Senate Network for the 2018 cycle, to help women run and make sure more voices like mine and Hillary's are in the Senate, I immediately told them: I'm all in.  And Lyin' Lizzy's been all in ever since...lyin' right along. I considered an edit of the email...but a quick and simple response with pictures seemed better for the low information yahoos at the DCSS.  Thus: I wouldn't join an arganization that has people that look like this: or this: or this: or even this:   But you are entirely welcome to be all in with this pack of morons.   What comes as no surprise, my character didn't get a reply. Investigated, probably LOL.

Another Nigerian Illuminincompoop Swing and MISS

Funny...I'd rate most of the scammers there to be substantially below 69 on the IQ scale.

Eh.

Here's the latest effort of a self professed Nigerian Illuminati scammer to try my blog on for size:


Join the brotherhood of illuminati. call dr jaja
07050480047 nigeria, usa, or anywhere in the world today be rich, fame, and posses power.email us on illuminatijaja@gmail.com or call us on +2347050480047
for immediate initiation new members registration is now open online now !!!!!

benefits given to new members who join illuminati.

a cash reward of usd $300,000 usd
a new sleek dream car valued at usd $120,000 usd
a dream house bought in the country of your own choice
one month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
one year golf membership package
a v.i.p treatment in all airports in the world
a total lifestyle change
access to bohemian grove
monthly payment of $1,000,000 usd into your bank account every month as a member
one month booked appointment with top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world.
if you are interested call dr jaja now  +2347050480047
are or send your e-mail to illuminatijaja@gmail.com for immediately initiation.new members registration is now open online  


The latest membership drive must be petering out...LOL.  At any rate, I gave my pet rock Seymour the edit off and did this one in my sleep:


Join the small cliché of blithering idiots that comprise the butt fingering crowd at a fly infested internet café in Nigeria, called the Illuminincompoops. call dr jaja
07050480047 nigeria, usa, or anywhere in the world today and be seen as stupid, idiotic, low life and akin to painful rectal itch.   email us on illuminatijaja@gmail.com
or call us on +2347050480047 for the one operator who was standing by until army ants devoured him...now just leave a voice mail.

benefits given to new members who join the Nigerian illuminincompoops:

a bill for $300 usd
a new picture of Hellary in her best stretch pants


an outhouse bought in the country of our choice
one month holiday to Syria to see if you can compete on Survivor.
one day golf membership package in an Afghanistani mine field.
a v.i.p treatment in all airport on Uranus.
a total lifestyle change (like you didn't figure that out from the first entries).
access to the Qattara Depression.
monthly payments you make to us of whatever the f**k we can squeeze from you every month as a member.
one booked appointment with the meth heads of the DNC.

 if you are interested call dr jaja now  +2347050480047 and schedule a psych exam with your own doctor.   Or email the fat assed Dr JaJa  illuminatijaja@gmail.com for immediately being marked as a moron. 

It took a couple days, but Dr. Jaja did actually not think before responding:


blaspmey  you are mark bye our oracle and bad thins come to you!  


It looks to me from h'yar that bad things have already come to you, starting with your spell check.  However, it's been kinda boring here lately so lay it on me.  Have your goat head baphomet toilet oracle take a try at me.  Go ahead, Dildo Breath...I await it!  Tell it to bring its own snacks.


A couple days...weeks...even months later, and I'm still waiting for Dr. Jaja's oracle to get off its "blaspmey" and do sumpin....meh.

Another "swing and a MISS" from Nigerian Illuminincompoop Land.



 

Scamming The Environment

You just KNOWD I had to go there sooner or later.

A scam made me do it.  Sorta.

Get a load of this scam from the Saudi Environmental Society:


SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
JEDDAH'. 
FROM THE SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)

ATTENTION:

You have been selected as one of the recipient for this year during the celebration of world environmental day which entitle you to a cash donation of $1,000,000.00 ( One Million United State Dollars ) from the donation board of Saudi environmental society. (SENS).

The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife.

Since environmental issues are worldwide problems, and knowing that environmental problems in one region also affects other regions of the world, The Saudi environmental society, ably headed by His Royal Highness Prince Turki Abdul-Aziz, approve the sum of $1,000,000.00 (One Million United State Dollars) to be given to few selected persons in all regions of the world who are willing to work towards the protection of the environment in which they are domiciled. Therefore it is only persons who are concern about the environment that should claim this grant.

The sums are release to selected persons in all regions of the world. Persons so selected, must be willing to use the grant for the purpose for which the grant was given which is principally to improve the ecosystem in his/her place of domicile by to bring together like minded persons in ones region to create climatic and environmental awareness among the populace about issues which are threatening the environment. The utilization of the funds should be judiciously deployed.

Since you have been selected amongst others, you should contact the Saudi Environmental society international donation center in London with your data and all necessary information for the transfer of the grant to you via the email address stated herein. Note that this is a grant and therefore it should be use only for the purpose for which it was meant for. Briefly in one sentence, what are the environmental challenges facing your community?

Board of directors
His Royal Highness Prince Turki bin Nasser bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud, President of Saudi Environment Society.
Dr. Abdul Aziz Al Hamid Abu Znadh, vice President. (Saudi)
Dr. Faisal Hamzah Abu Rdeif, Secretary.
Dr. Osama Abdullah Kokandi, Treasurer.
Dr Saleh Mohammed, Board Member, Europe
Professor. Tariq Abdul Hadi Taher, Board Member. America
Dr. Saied Fathi Khaweli, Board Member, Africa
Engineer Adel Salem Badeeb, Board Member, Asia
Mr. Phillip Rasmusen, Board member, Observer status, UN

CONTACT INTERNATIONAL FUNDS DISBURSEMENT CENTER ENGLAND:
Office Address
2rd Floor
Ibex House
42-47 Minories
London EC3N 1DY ( UK )
Contact Person : A  Hassan
Email: saudi.environment11667@gmail.com  


First, my character replied to them thus:

What an unexpected honor!  I don't know where to begin...but...in all fairness and honesty, I am unable to accept this award.  Truly.  After all, in your own words, "The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife".

That disqualifies me:  I fart.   

 

 

When that failed to attract a reply -- apparently they actually read what they receive back -- my character took to the edit mode:

 

 

Subject: A POX ON YOUR ENVIRONMENT

 

 

SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
JEDDAH'. 
FROM THE SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
 

ATTENTION:

You have been discovered to be a direct cause to the environment that we Saudis are forced to endure, you insensitive infidel douche canoe.
  

 The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife.  We do this despite AlGore and his man-bear-pig sh*t.
  

 Since environmental issues are worldwide problems, and knowing that environmental problems in one region also affects other regions of the world, The Saudi environmental society, ably headed by His Royal Highness Prince Turki Abdul-Aziz PHFFFT, have declared that you and your flatulence are the reason that our domicile in Saudi Arabia is burnt over sand.

Oh sure, we could go jump in the Gulf of Oman, the Persian Gulf, et al...and get eaten by things that don't give a damn that we smell like camels and bad cous cous.  Not gonna happen, douche canoes.
  

 The sums are being assessed to selected persons in all regions of the world. Persons so selected, have been monitoring flatulating, and must be willing to pay to improve the ecosystem in his/her place of domicile by to bring together like minded persons in ones region to prevent a climatic and environmental fartnami among the populace which is threatening the environment.
 

Since you have been selected amongst others, you should contact the Saudi Environmental society international donation center in London with your data and all necessary information for the transfer of the fees and penalties that we wish to impose upon you for your degrading of the atmosphere that, even from where you are, causes us to have the suckass climate that we have.  We live in the world's biggest cat box, thanks to flatulators like you.  Briefly in one sentence, what is your excuse for farting and degrading our part of the world thereby?
  

 Board of directums
His Royal Highness Prince Turki bin Nasser bin Abdul Aziz Al PHFFFFT, President of Saudi Environment Society.

Dr. Pastor Gas, Unknown

 Dr. Abdul Aziz Al Hamid Abu PHFFFFFT, vice President. (Saudi)
Dr. Faisal Hamzah Abu PHFFFFT, Secretary.
Dr. Osama Abdullah Kokandi PHFFFFFT, Treasurer.
Dr Saleh Mohammed PHFFFFFT, Board Member, Europe
Professor. Tariq Abdul Hadi Taher PHFFFFFFT, Board Member. America
Dr. Saied Fathi Khaweli PHFFFFFFT, Board Member, Africa
Engineer Adel Salem Badeeb PHFFFFFFT, Board Member, Asia
Mr. Phillip Rasmusen Ass Abuser PHFFFFFFT, Board member, Observer status, UN

Mr. Seymour PetRock, Flatulent Geologic  ("am NOT!!!!!  PHFFFF...er...crap..")

 CONTACT INTERNATIONAL FLATULATORS PUNISHMENT CENTER ENGLAND:
Office Address
2rd Floor
Ibex House
42-47 Minories
London EC3N 1DY ( UK )
Contact Person : Achmed The Dead From Flatulence Terrorist
Email: saudi.environment11667@gmail.com  

 

 

This didn't draw a response either, but  -- pun intended -- I'm sure that's 'cuz they got the point...

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