Monday, September 4, 2017

Scamming The Environment

You just KNOWD I had to go there sooner or later.

A scam made me do it.  Sorta.

Get a load of this scam from the Saudi Environmental Society:


SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
JEDDAH'. 
FROM THE SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)

ATTENTION:

You have been selected as one of the recipient for this year during the celebration of world environmental day which entitle you to a cash donation of $1,000,000.00 ( One Million United State Dollars ) from the donation board of Saudi environmental society. (SENS).

The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife.

Since environmental issues are worldwide problems, and knowing that environmental problems in one region also affects other regions of the world, The Saudi environmental society, ably headed by His Royal Highness Prince Turki Abdul-Aziz, approve the sum of $1,000,000.00 (One Million United State Dollars) to be given to few selected persons in all regions of the world who are willing to work towards the protection of the environment in which they are domiciled. Therefore it is only persons who are concern about the environment that should claim this grant.

The sums are release to selected persons in all regions of the world. Persons so selected, must be willing to use the grant for the purpose for which the grant was given which is principally to improve the ecosystem in his/her place of domicile by to bring together like minded persons in ones region to create climatic and environmental awareness among the populace about issues which are threatening the environment. The utilization of the funds should be judiciously deployed.

Since you have been selected amongst others, you should contact the Saudi Environmental society international donation center in London with your data and all necessary information for the transfer of the grant to you via the email address stated herein. Note that this is a grant and therefore it should be use only for the purpose for which it was meant for. Briefly in one sentence, what are the environmental challenges facing your community?

Board of directors
His Royal Highness Prince Turki bin Nasser bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud, President of Saudi Environment Society.
Dr. Abdul Aziz Al Hamid Abu Znadh, vice President. (Saudi)
Dr. Faisal Hamzah Abu Rdeif, Secretary.
Dr. Osama Abdullah Kokandi, Treasurer.
Dr Saleh Mohammed, Board Member, Europe
Professor. Tariq Abdul Hadi Taher, Board Member. America
Dr. Saied Fathi Khaweli, Board Member, Africa
Engineer Adel Salem Badeeb, Board Member, Asia
Mr. Phillip Rasmusen, Board member, Observer status, UN

CONTACT INTERNATIONAL FUNDS DISBURSEMENT CENTER ENGLAND:
Office Address
2rd Floor
Ibex House
42-47 Minories
London EC3N 1DY ( UK )
Contact Person : A  Hassan
Email: saudi.environment11667@gmail.com  



First, my character replied to them thus:


What an unexpected honor!  I don't know where to begin...but...in all fairness and honesty, I am unable to accept this award.  Truly.  After all, in your own words, "The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife".
That disqualifies me:  I fart.   
 
 
When that failed to attract a reply -- apparently they actually read what they receive back -- my character took to the edit mode:
 
 
Subject: A POX ON YOUR ENVIRONMENT
 

 

SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
JEDDAH'. 
FROM THE SAUDI ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY (SENS)
 

ATTENTION:

You have been discovered to be a direct cause to the environment that we Saudis are forced to endure, you insensitive infidel douche canoe.
  

 The Saudi environmental society in conjunction with other environmental organizations world wide is working on creating sustainable developmental programs. In addition to working on developing the voluntary action by creating a broad base of volunteers and to contribute in strengthening the role of the private sector to serve the environmental issues in the areas of environmental protection and conservation of natural resources and wildlife.  We do this despite AlGore and his man-bear-pig sh*t.
  

 Since environmental issues are worldwide problems, and knowing that environmental problems in one region also affects other regions of the world, The Saudi environmental society, ably headed by His Royal Highness Prince Turki Abdul-Aziz PHFFFT, have declared that you and your flatulence are the reason that our domicile in Saudi Arabia is burnt over sand.

Oh sure, we could go jump in the Gulf of Oman, the Persian Gulf, et al...and get eaten by things that don't give a damn that we smell like camels and bad cous cous.  Not gonna happen, douche canoes.
  

 The sums are being assessed to selected persons in all regions of the world. Persons so selected, have been monitoring flatulating, and must be willing to pay to improve the ecosystem in his/her place of domicile by to bring together like minded persons in ones region to prevent a climatic and environmental fartnami among the populace which is threatening the environment.
 

Since you have been selected amongst others, you should contact the Saudi Environmental society international donation center in London with your data and all necessary information for the transfer of the fees and penalties that we wish to impose upon you for your degrading of the atmosphere that, even from where you are, causes us to have the suckass climate that we have.  We live in the world's biggest cat box, thanks to flatulators like you.  Briefly in one sentence, what is your excuse for farting and degrading our part of the world thereby?
  

 Board of directums
His Royal Highness Prince Turki bin Nasser bin Abdul Aziz Al PHFFFFT, President of Saudi Environment Society.
Dr. Pastor Gas, Unknown






 Dr. Abdul Aziz Al Hamid Abu PHFFFFFT, vice President. (Saudi)
Dr. Faisal Hamzah Abu PHFFFFT, Secretary.
Dr. Osama Abdullah Kokandi PHFFFFFT, Treasurer.
Dr Saleh Mohammed PHFFFFFT, Board Member, Europe
Professor. Tariq Abdul Hadi Taher PHFFFFFFT, Board Member. America
Dr. Saied Fathi Khaweli PHFFFFFFT, Board Member, Africa
Engineer Adel Salem Badeeb PHFFFFFFT, Board Member, Asia
Mr. Phillip Rasmusen Ass Abuser PHFFFFFFT, Board member, Observer status, UN
Mr. Seymour PetRock, Flatulent Geologic  ("am NOT!!!!!  PHFFFF...er...crap..")

 CONTACT INTERNATIONAL FLATULATORS PUNISHMENT CENTER ENGLAND:
Office Address
2rd Floor
Ibex House
42-47 Minories
London EC3N 1DY ( UK )
Contact Person : Achmed The Dead From Flatulence Terrorist
Email: saudi.environment11667@gmail.com  
 
 
This didn't draw a response either, but  -- pun intended -- I'm sure that's 'cuz they got the point...


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