And Yet Just A Few More Randomalities

 Time for a few more randomalities from all over Heckydarnpoo.

All the while in Portland...

While Taylor finds out she can't write a song about breaking up with President Trump because he's got a far hotter babe than Taylor...

Wisdom from a dead cartoonist:

In my kitchen, this happens:

Sometimes...well, most times, NBA players should stick to what they're good at and STFU:

Fact checking by cnn be like:

The art world can't take much more of this:

My cousin the Queen is going a tad bonkers over Harry and his manipulative wench:

How much Tidy Bowl was needed for this:

Gender hell:  what mental illness is this:

Dem soyboyz lurves getting their cops feeled:

Ain't that the truth:

Today's security at the CDC:

While the Left continues to go...y'know, the thing:

It's helpful when you know this stuff:

Truly, Yoda is wise:

Lefties in Portland, not so much:

Could this be how Jenn Psuki got her current job?  It could:

The Left celebrates fake doctors; Scotland tags 'em as they are:

Ireland isn't so impressed with 'cancel culture':

Meanwhile in the USA, genital warts are all the rage:

Some former nfl clowns should STFU like some nba knuckleheads:

Didn't know they made stretch versions, eh:

The Left sends evolution into regression:

Taylor realizing that she was tied to Trump earlier in this post:

While story lines in Hollywad are deteriorating rapidly:

Coke going 'woke' turned out to be a joke..on Coke:

And once more, a Karen loses to a cat:

That's it for this edition of even more randomalities...

*somewhere, leftist heads just exploded*

It's Easy

The easy way to make leftist heads explode.
 

Upper Volta, Anyone?

Just for the record, Upper Volta had nothing to do with this email thread.

Until Seymour, my 'geography geologic' pet rock decided it needed to.

Surprised as I was, you shoulda seed the other guy.

Here's how the other guy started:

I’m diplomat Mr Larry Don I have just arrived at the Los Angeles
International Airport with your valued consignment box of $7.8 million
dollars 45 minutes ago,

please
reconfirm

Your home address.................
Nearest airport........................
Your Direct Telephone...................
Copy of your Id..........................

to me so that I can proceed to your home right now with your consignment
box immediately. I’m waiting for your prompt reply.

Make Sure To reply on this email or text the phone number blow ( diplomaticlarry009@gmail.com


+1(502) 890-1392

Agent Mr Larry Don   

When I saw "blow" my first thought was I was getting scammed by Kamala Harris.  

That made even Alexa wince.

I didn't waste too much time...well okay, I did...but only some, before I gave Larry Don my character's usual address that a pot shop in the foothills of Colorado probably doesn't appreciate.  And of course I throw'd in Jack's ID of choice:

That was good for this response:

HOW  ARE YOU DOING TODAY MAY I TELL YOU THAT YOUR INFORMATION IS CONFIRMED ALSO THIS IS MY ID CARD 

YOU ONLY NEEDED TO PAY FOR AN OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE IT WILL COST YOU ONLY 100 Dollars  ONCE YOU SENT IT 

IT WILL TAKE ONLY HURS FOR US TO DELIVERY YOUR FUND TO YOUR DOOR STEP IMMEDIATELY 

YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED    

And he throw'd in his bona fides as well:

Somehow I just know'd he was from Benin.  Of course:

Ah...so everything is approved.

And all you need from me is $100.

Uh huh.

I'll look into that.   

Excitement grows where Rosemary goes...or at least where Larry Don is:

YES IMMEDIATELY WE CONFIRMED THE FRE FROM YOU 

NOTHING WILL STOP YOUR DELIVERY IT WILL TAKE PLACE IMMEDIATELY 

IF YOU CAN WRITE TEXT COPY MY NUMBER AND TEXT ME BECAUSE WE ONLY CONFIRMED PAYMENT IN TEXT MESSAGE NOT ON EMAIL TO AVOID CRIMINALS 

URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED 

I can just imagine how urgent it is...since it's after midnight where this clown is emailing from, I reckon it probably is, so I act with the urgency one expects of me:

Well, that's reassuring.

I'll look into that right away.   

OK WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR FEEDBACK    

Feedback is it?  Hotay:

I am happy to say that I have looked into it and all is good.

You may proceed with delivery.

Extra feedback will cost you $100.

That should make us even.   

That kind of feedback wasn't perxactly what he was looking for:

I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR MESSAGE IF YOU ARE READY TO SENT THE $100 LET US KNOW 

WAITING FOR YOUR OPINION    

Oh, so it's my opinion he's waiting for?  Of course it ain't but what the f***.  And that's when Seymour threw in the opinion I should express to Larry Don, making Element snort coffee out of her trunk:

Here's an opinion of mine you might find interesting:  it is my opinion that Burkina Fatso should have kept their name Upper Volta, instead of changing it in 1984.  What do you think about that?   

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR MESSAGE AGAIN.  WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY?  ARE YOU SEND THE $100 IMMEDIATE?   

You asked me for my opinion.  I sent you my opinion.  What's your opinion about my opinion about Burkina Fatso changing it's name from Upper Volta in 1984?  Why'd they do it?  What was wrong with Upper Volta?   

REALLY ARE YOU SEND THE $100 NOW?   

Really not until you answer your original request for my opinion by my giving you my opinion, and now you have to answer to my opinion with an opinion of your own.  That's how this works.  You're a diplomat, right?  You know how this sh*t works, right?  As for the $100, I charged you that for the feedback you requested, so we're even.   

Only silence as been my reply since that.

If only Upper Volta had been renamed Benin...
 

Snow White's "Bite Me!" To Wokes and Cancel Culture Morons

 While this is not the Snow White I first learned of in my very youth, this is how fed up Snow White has become with the wussification of culture in America.

She seems to be expressing herself to the lamestream servile mediocres, democraps, 'wokes' and the cancel culture morons out there.

Bravo, Snow.

General Disorder Of The Milicontrary

Generally speaking, I don't get letters from generals commanding the armed forces of the United States.

Not real ones, anyway.

I do get plenty from those commanding internet cafes in Scamland.

Like this one, that thinks he can impress me with his title and command of the English of language:

Hello Greetings to you

This is James C. McConville Incumbent General Armed Forces United States of America. I’m texting you today due to the scam officials Email and text we have been receiving about you sending Money to Claiming to have funds or what so ever they are telling you about that makes you to send Money them without Confirmation from the president or the Forces here in United States even the worst part of this is that they are yawing FBI to scams As well but. Right now we the United States Army has Decided to put our hands on this to ensure no one sent Money to those frauds anymore and from today you are being Monitored if you ever try to do send anything without asking for Confirmation you will be put to Jail for two years after that you will come back to your right senses.

Apart from that we have Decided to Compensate you with the Sum of $2.5Million United States dollars.
And delivery and IRS document signing is very important will cost $50

And you are to keep this as secret to ensure you get your Money successful to you Ok

Your Faithfully,
Chief of Staff of the United States Army
Mr James C. McConville   

My pet rock, Seymour, sez that this genital couldn't command Alexa to fart.

I reminded Seymour that one need only ask Alexa to do that, and she'd readily comply, but we digress.

My other pet rock, Element, was dying to do another edit of a scammer email, and this one seemed ready-made for an elephant pet rock with an 'editing gone wild' streak embedded in her trunk:

From: Cheef of Staph of the U.S Army <anthonyedward334@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, May 7, 2021 12:00 PM
Subject: The Cheef Of Staph Plays With His Staph

 

At Ease

This is James C. McCONville, Incumbent Genital to the Armed Farces United State of Leftist Chaos. 

I’m having my disorderly texting you today due to the scam officials Email and text we have been receiving about you sending Money to Claiming to have funds or what so ever they are telling you about that.  This we is leaded to belief makes you to send Money them without Confirmation from the increasingly senile president or the Farces here in this countree.  Even the worst part of this is that they are yawing the long-discredited FBI to scams increasing their discredit.  That is as well but right this very text event we the US of A Army has Decided to put our boots in the muck and Meier to ensure no one sent Money to those frauds anymores.

I as incumbent Genital Cheef of Staph of the Armed Farces is here to tell youse dat you are being Monitored under new Marshal Dillion declarations and if you ever try to do send anything without asking for Confirmation you will be put to Jail for two years after that you will be drafted to the Transgender Corps until youse come back to your right senses.

Former First Lady Barack Obola sez we can do that.

 That aside, if you are gudt little order taker we may decide to constipate you with some expired Spam we have in a warehouse in the Pentagong.  Naturally you will have to come here to accept delivery, unless you can't come here to accept delivery, in which case you will need to send us $50 for delivery and IRS document signing which is very important according to the dead Idi Amin.

And you are to keep this as secret to ensure we get our $50.  Otherwise you get the two years and all that goes widdit to you Ok

AttennnnnSHUN!  DissssssMISSED!
Cheef of Staph of the US Army
Genital of the Army James C. McCONville   

Naturally, Element was disappointed that the 'general' what writ the original email didn't bother to comment on Element's enhancements.  I didn't bother to suggest to her that he most likely couldn't read it...