When A Dough Boy Speaks, Leftards Listen

The left practically fouls themselves at any opportunity to take verbal and internet pot shots at The Donald.

To their aggrieved dismay, POTUS has amply demonstrated that he frequently doesn't much care.

But when POTUS does care enough to crank off a few Twitterpations, he doesn't reserve his 'tit for tat's to the deranged Left.

He's got more than enough for the pudgepot of North Korea, Kim Jong Un.

Un, of course -- never one to look a gift Quarter Pounder With Cheese in the mouth without inhaling it -- is a leftist's dream when it comes to insults back at The Donald.

Like the one he dredged up after the president's speech at the Eunuch Nations:  "dotard".

The leftist world was enchanted. 

Or least wise, that's how my editing-gone-wild pet rock, Seymour, sees it with this latest post of his:

Unimportant Celebrity Reactions: the human dirigible Kim Jong Un Calls Donald Trump A “Dotard”

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS September 25, 2017


Unimportant lamestream celebrities and news mediocres across a wide spectrum are reacting to Kim Jong-Un calling Donald Trump a “dotard” after the president threw down the gauntlet to North Korea during his U.N. speech earlier this week.

As Go Suck A Goat reported, Trump threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea's pudgepot dictator during his speech at the Eunuch Nations Genital Assembly in New York on Tuesday. He sternly told the crowd, “The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea.”

In response to Trump’s threat, the North Korean leader removed his feed bag long enough on Thursday to lapse into more of the usual over the top threats that North Korea is renowned for, calling the president a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.”

A centuries old word, “dotard” is used to describe an elderly person in a state of “decay.”

In a statement released by Kim Jong-Un, he said, “I’d rike to advise Trump to exercise prudence in serecting words and to be considerate of whom he speaks to when making a speech in front of the worrd.” Kim added, “I will surery and definitery tame the mentarry deranged U.S. dotard by kneering at footbarr game during nationar anthem.  That gonna show him!”

Trump later responded to his statement in a fiery tweet on Friday morning. He wrote, “The dough boy Kim Jong Un of North Korea, who is obviously a madman who doesn’t mind starving or killing his people and can't pronounce the letter “L”, will be tested like never before with a statement laden with “L”s!”

Of course, the unusual insult prompted a number of celebrities to jump on the Kim Jong Un bandwagon – with Un on it, there's not much room for others – simply because he made fun of their favorite politician to hate, Donald Trump.

“Dotard...just the word I was looking for!” mumbled Trump critic and full blown doughtard Michael Moore in between grain shovel fulls of junk food from his fast food dwindling manchion in Flint, MI.

Rosie O'Donnell, raging doughtardette offered, “Kim Jung Un is my new supersized hero!”

Meanwhile, Lawrence O'Doughtardonnell at pmsnbc missed the event while castigating the “idiots in the f***ing control room” for a record 9^th day in a row because they couldn't get his Trump bashing sound bytes in order in time for the emmys.

Maxine "DOUGHtard" Waters said, “How the f*ck did I spend this much time on earth without having realized that I am a doughtard?”

And Hank Doughtard Johnson wondered if “a dotard is enough to capsize Guam?”

Chelsea Dildoughtard Mishandler uncrossed her eyes long enough to ponder if she could hashtag dotard with a latte; then they so violently recrossed, Mishandler lost the little balance she has to land butt first on her thought processes.

After perusing his post, I told Seymour that he's probably no closer to a Pulitzer, but that he'd probably widened the gap on his having a shot at an emmy.

"Oh phhhhffffffft!"

I guess Seymour doesn't mind not having one of those useless things, either.

Seymour Edits Kim Jong Un Yet Again

North Korea and its maniacal pudgy dictator with the bad 'doo, Kim Jong Un, just can't catch a break with my pet rock, Seymour.

Like this recent report that North Korea "live fired" 400 artillery pieces to intimidate the world and get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make that Team America World Police sequel.

That was meat for Seymour:



North Korea getting “super serial” about shelling USA if originators of South Park don't make that Team America sequel soon


By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

North Korea on Tuesday reportedly conducted a huge live-fire drill that involved up to 400 homes flame broiled to a crisp crunch, which may have been supervised by the country’s leader, Kim Jong Un.

North Korea’s KGAG news agency, citing an unnamed white horse souse, reported that Pyongyang appeared to have deployed a number of long-range artillery units in the region of what's left of Wonsan, which is a coastal North Korean area 5000 or so miles west of the USA, according to the Gooble Eoith app, give or take a little or a lot.

South Korea’s military confirmed the report, which quoted the Pudginator as saying “If USA want to piss me off, they onry have to not make Parker/Stone make that movie sequer and my artirrery going to fire on San Francisco...Pocaterro...Portaberro...and Toredo”.

There were wide spread speculations in Newark whether or not they should petition to be added to Kim Jong Un's list and whether that would help improve the place.

News that Un personally supervising a live fire exercise that fried homes in Wonson comes after video of North Korea using one of their screen door'd submarines as a ferry, since it can't dive (see above photo).

When asked about the North Koreans using their screen door equipped subs as vehicle ferries, Lieutenant commander Kit Kat Knight with U.S. Pacific Fleet told WTFNS in a statement that “since they sink when they dive, they finally figured out to quit diving them and found something sorta kinda useful that they can do."

Meanwhile, the entire U.S. Senate has been invited to the White House for a debriefing on Wednesday about the underwear situation facing North Korea. White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer confirmed the situation and suggested that all 100 senators would be asked to pony up a spare pair or two.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford and Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats plan to provide spare pairs as well.

It is rare for the entire Senate to be invited to such a debriefing when some of them require Depends.

South Korea’s Defense Ministry has said the North appears ready to conduct “artillery fish kills” in the waters off Wonsan if their artillery is fired toward the USA. South Korean Acting Prime Minister Hwang Kyo-ahn has instructed his military to deploy fishing nets south of there in case North Korea does something stupid, which North Korea often does.

On Monday, Trump also had lunch with ambassadors of countries on the U.N. Security Council. Ahead of the meeting, Trump called for a picture of Hellary in a thong and criticizing the UN for its “fake diplomacy” – but said it has “potential to be marginally better than fake news source cnn.”

 

"The United Nations is, like, bad, very very bad at solving conflicts. I think they need to stop being bad, very very bad at that," he said. He also said that he laughed when watching Team America World Police during the Kim Jong Il-Hans Brix shark tank scene.  

I'm not sure that this post will help ease tensions over yonder, but it might heighten them at cnn if they really think Trump is going to ask some of the senators for their Depends.  cnn is dumb enough to believe and post that.

Kim Jong Un, An Editing Pet Rock...and Uranus?

Kim Jong Un is now claiming that his country will soon "prant their frag on the moon".

Uh huh.  And hellary Clinton will tell the truth.

One's about as likely as the other.

But my pet rock, Seymour, saw an article that made the claim that North Korea would send a mission to the moon sometime after 2020.

I heard the pet rock's "edit going wild" *TOING* with ease.

Thus:

WTFNS Exclusive: North Korea Hopes to Plant Flag on Uranus

• By Seymour PetRock, WTFNS
  

PYONGYANG, North Korea

North Korean space officials are hard at work on a five-year/500 billion mile plan to put any kind of satellites into orbit by 2020, and don't intend to stop there: They're also aiming for Uranus.

In an interview with WTFNS, a senior official at what passes for North Korea's NASA said international sanctions won't stop the country from trying to launch missiles that might actually work one day and that he expects to see the North Korean flag on Uranus within the next 10 years...if he expects to avoid being executed.

"Even though Team America Worrd Porice try to brock our space deveropment, our aerospace scientists is gonna conquer space and definitery prant the frag of the DPRK on Uranus," said Hak Yang Kwang Il, director of the scientific research department of North Korea's National Aerospace Dream On Administration.

North Korea's official name is the Third World dump south of the Yalu.

A manned, no-frills North Korean mission to Uranus in the not-too-distant future isn't as far-fetched as it might seem: Kim Jong Un – forever seeking increasingly exotic forms of execution for those who “disprease me” – suggests that loading a rocket to Uranus with dissidents is an effective way to both project North Korean technical prowess and rid the regime of undesirables.

Outside experts say it's abject stammering stupidity, at which Kim Jong Un excels. 
 
"It would be a significant increase in technology, one that we don't want to insult them over by saying that it is beyond them," Marie Barf, the State Department hash tag hag said in a twitter hash tag to WTFNS.

Hak said “the current five-year pran, at the order of reader Kim Jong Un, focuses on raunching more Earth observation saterrites and what would be its first communications saterrite” — which, technologically, is a major pipe dream for a nation that thinks one flush toilet at their airport near Pyongyang is a 21^st Century step forward. He said universities are also being upgraded to the equivalence of a democrap ruined inner city high school to train people on how to order rocket parts from Acme Company.

North Korea has marked a number of successes in its space program — by proving that there's a growing space between the ears of Kim Jong Un. 
 

It attempted to launch a test satellite — the KwangDungFungYu 4, or Bite Me 4 — into orbit on Feb. 7. It blew up a kimshi shop on the outskirts of Wonsan. That brought new sanctions because blowing up kimshi shops are banned under rather useless UN resolutions.

Hak said the sanctions are "ridicurous." For once, we agree.

"Our country has started to accomprish our pran and we have started to gain a rot of suckesses," he said. "No matter what anyone thinks, our country going to raunch more saterrites."

He said North Korea's long-term target is to use its satellites to threaten the US and other countries into giving it more aid that it doesn't deserve because the country is run by totalitarian dickheads that refuse to behave.

The U.S. State Department doesn't want to piss off Kim Jong Un, so the hash tag hag – Barf – is trying a campaign “of soothing, conciliatory hash tags meant to calm Kim Jong Un's savage belly fat and make him not hear so many trigger words that require him to retreat to his safe zone”.

North Korea claims to have two satellites in orbit, KMA-3-2 and KMA-4. Hak said that as of July 27, KMA-4 had completed 2,513 feet of one orbit, and that within one day after its launch it transmitted 7 photographic images back to Earth of Ginger and Mary Ann on Gilligan's Isle. He said that his agency reports to Kim Jong Un that it is still working properly and sending data whenever it passes over a hellary clinton crimepaign stop, which it might eventually.

Foreign experts have yet to confirm that anything other than one of Kim Jong Un's relatives -- fallen from favor with the Pudgemeister – is in orbit.

German analyst Schweinhund Hundsfott, one of the world's foremost experts on North Korea's missiles and rockets, said the basic North Korean claims are “flieger schiesse”.

He said the North Korean military has already succeeded in convincing Kim Jong Un that they have developed long-range missiles that can reach anywhere on Earth. As long as he doesn't insist that we prove it, we (anonymous sources within the North Korean Army) will live to see another day."

An anonymous North Korean spy source – speaking from Liechtenstein – said that "I agree they (the North Koreans) will continue to behave like douche nozzles and twatwaffles," he said. "Of course, there are lessons learned that you can also apply to jackwagons and tofu lips. But the whole space program as constituted by North Korea shows so many different characteristics of abject failure that they seem to be separated from reality by a devastatingly wide degree."

I don't think that Seymour outdid himself with this edit...but he might be hearing from the hash tag hag about the unflattering photo...