Stupid Waters Run On...And On...And On...

I realize that this photo is tough to stomach.

My pet rock, Seymour, agrees.

So when he saw that Waters made intemperate statements on the weekend, advocating harassment basically anywhere/anytime against Trump Administration folks -- and then tried walking it back and lying about it when publically spanked -- it was more than Seymour's "editing gone wild" persona could resist:


Reprehensible Maxine Waters Urges Harassment..And Then Lies About It

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

Never one to avoid stepping in crap and then inserting the soiled foot in her mouth, CA Reprehensible Maxine Waters (Dumbass) urged resisters to target anyone in the Trump Administration with harassment in the wake of episodes of just that against Sarah Sanders and Kirstjen Nielsen.

In a Newsweak article on June 24, the very Reprehensible Waters said members of the Trump administration should expect continued harassment at restaurants and in public if they keep defending his "zero tolerance" immigration policy that led to thousands of migrant children being detained away from their parents. A policy in play during the Obola regime, a fact that Waters loves to gloss over.

The Kaliforlornia Democrap shrieked Saturday at a low information rally in Los Angeles and later on ms13nbc about how her people will continue to personally target President Trump's defenders in public spaces.  Waters told ms13nbc Saturday that members of Trump's Cabinet should not be able to cry foul or play the victim, even while the same policy was in place when Obola was president and Waters was all too willing to ignore it then. 
"I have no sympathy for these people that voted against our trying to turn America into Venezuela" Waters said.

"For these members of his Cabinet who remain and try to defend him, they're not going to be able to go to a restaurant, they're not going to be able to stop at a gas station, they're not going to be able to shop at a department store. The people are going to turn on them, they're going to protest, they're going to absolutely harass them until they decide that they're going to tell the president, 'We don't want America Great again, we want to be Venezuela" Waters said. 
Waters gave a practiced false narrative to a Los Angeles rally of low information muttonheads on Saturday and sent a message to Trump's supporters. "You think we're rallying now, you ain't seen nothing yet," she exclaimed. "Already you have members of your Cabinet being booed out of restaurants. Who have protesters taking up at your house chanting, 'No peace, no sheep.'"

She continued without realizing how stupid she was sounding, "Let's make sure we show up wherever we have to show up, and if you see anybody from that Cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back on them and you tell them they're not welcome anymore, anywhere." Waters concluded to barking seals bussed in to boost the crowd.

"History is not going to be kind to the previous administration, so we have to smear the current one with everything we can to deflect history from what Obola did," she added. 
What came as no surprise, President Trump responded with calling Waters, accurately, a “dubious person of low IQ”.  This – along with some surprising censure from her own party (because they saw the way public opinion was breaking on this, and it wasn't in their favor), led Waters to put on a crocodile tears display Monday on ms13nbc as she used “the children” to deflect away from the harassment comments she made over the weekend. On ms13nbc.  “I did not call for harm for anybody. The president lied again,” Waters lied.
Before even a low-informationed talking points ms13nbc bot could accidentally do the right thing and question her further, she then turned to “the children.”
“But let’s not talk about that. Let’s focus on the children. Not the ones that Planned Parenthood slaughters in windrows...that I support. No...maybe we better not talk about that either. Let's talk about...puppy videos,” Waters said, moving away from the controversy over her comments.
Waters then burst into tears after finding out there were no puppy videos readily available at ms13nbc, because PETA considered them exploitative.
“They don’t really say that about puppy videos, do they?” Waters said of PETA between faked sniffles.  

This will probably not get Seymour one of his coveted Pulitzers, but it will get "that look" if anyone from the Waters putrid camp gets around to reading it.

Queen For A Scam

Despite being related to the Royal Famdamily -- the current Queen is my 27th cousin twice removed -- the only royal famdamily I or my characters ever hear from are those from the royal realm of Scamland.

Fer instance:


From:Queen Elizabeth's Foundation
Woodlands Road
Leatherhead Court
LeatherheadSurrey
KT22 0BN.

Attn:Beneficiary,

Congratulations The Queen Elizabeth's Foundation has chosen
you by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients
of a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational,
and business development.To celebrate the newlywed couples Prince Harry and
Meghan Markle program, We are giving out a yearly donation of
Ј1,000.000.00 (One Million Great British Pounds) to
40lucky recipients, as charity donations/aid from the Queen
Elizabeth's Foundation ,ECOWAS, EU,UNICEF and the UNO in
accordance with the enabling act of Parliament, which is
part of our promotion. To file for your claim you are to
fill out below information and send it to Mr. George Wallect
The Executive Secretary Via his email contact address:
Email:onlinepromo-foundation@yandex.com

Claims Requirements:?

Fill the below:
1. Full Name:_____________________
2. Address:_____________________
3. Nationality:___________Sex:________
4. Age:________Date of Birth:___________
5. Occupation:_____________________
6. Cell Phone:___________Fax:___________
7. State of Origin:_________Country:_______

PROCEEDURES / RIGHTS AND PRECAUTIONS.
Choose from payment options and Contact the Claims
Administrator with all
your claims requirements.

(i).Bank Transfer.

(ii).Delivery of Prepaid Visa card Valued ?
Ј1,000.000.00 Pounds by a registered
Courier Company.

Best Regards:
Mr. George Wallect
Woodlands Road
Leatherhead Court
Leatherhead
Surrey
KT22 0BN.
**************************************************************
Queen Elizabeth's Foundation for Disabled People is a
registered charity No 251051.Registered as a company limited
by guarantee in London No892013.Registered at Leatherhead
Court, Woodlands Road,Leatherhead,Surrey KT22 0BN.
**************************************************************  

A royal effort to scam tends to draw a royal effort to edit:

From: Queen Elizabeth Farted <promo@qween.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 26, 2018 11:43 AM
Subject: Queen Elizabeth Farted And Even Phillip Is Wincing

 

From: Queen Elizabeth Farted And Even Phillip Is Wincing

Woodlands Road
Leatherhead Court
LeatherheadSurrey
KT22 0BN.

Attn:

EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THERE'S A ROYAL FART

LOOSE!

The Queen Elizabeth Farted And Even Phillip Is Wincing has chosen
you by the board of trustees as the only one they could think of to

come to Buckingham Palace and rid the premises of this gnarliest of

royal farts.

At least she didn't do it during the wedding and future divorce of

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

We will provide you with all necessary HAZMAT gear -- of course

emblazoned with the royal crest -- and 1,000.000.00 (One Million

Great British Pounds) to come and take on this formidable and

shattering royal fart.

To foolishly agree to take this olfactory abomination on, you are

to fill out below information and send it to Mr. George Wallect
The Executive Secretary Via his email contact address:
Email:onlinepromo-foundation@yandex.com


Fill the below:
1. Full Name:_____________________
2. Address:_____________________
3. Nationality:___________Sex:________
4. Age:________Date of Birth:___________
5. Occupation:_____________________
6. Cell Phone:___________Fax:___________
7. State of Origin:_________Country:_______
8. Next of kin if overwhelmed by Fart:_______

PROCEEDURES / RIGHTS AND PRECAUTIONS.
Choose from HAZMAT options and Contact the Claims
Administrator with all your requirements.

(i). Full body protective suit with royal crest.

(ii). Just a clothes pin for your nose because you think you're

one tough bastard.

Good luck, Twat Goblin:
Mr. George Wallect
Woodlands Road
Leatherhead Court
Leatherhead
Surrey
KT22 0BN.
**************************************************************
Queen Elizabeth Farted And Even Phillip Is Wincing Foundation which

disables anyone encountering it is a registered WMD No 251051.  Not

even Saddam, Kim Jong Un or the Iranians gots a thang to compare to

this rancid miasma.  Then again, what do you expect from a 90 plus

years old royal backside...a Glade plug-in?  The last one we tried

melted.  This offer is void where anyone more gnarly than someone

unleashing royal farts is prohibited.  Registered at Fathead
Court, Woodlands Road,Fathead,Surrey KT22 0BN.
**************************************************************

--
Esta muy not bien..joly frijoles muchacho, mondo stanken whoopsen.

---

I really hoped to hear something back from the *foundation*, but I think they were blown away by the edit...

time Ragazine Tanks

Small 't' time Ragazine is attempting to sink as low in the outhouse pit as cnn and the dnc.

And they're succeeding with the sinkage.

They apparently ran a cover that has POTUS looking "down" on a crying child, meant to represent an illegal immigrant child separated from her parents by this bad, bad POTUS.

Since coming out with this impropaganda cover to please their toxic democrap allies, time has caught it from all sides for joining the fake news regime.

And the photo shoppers are having a field day at time's expense.

Here's a few examples:

Of course, time Ragazine won't print anything positive and truthful about POTUS, because it doesn't fit the template that's been dictated to them by the dnc; and Antifa would probably trash their offices if time attempted to leave the fake news ghetto.

So you'll never see a fact-filled time Ragazine cover like this:

And you won't see the actual truth behind the time Ragazine cover that started all this:

And therefore, you'll never see or hear the truth about this current "crisis" from time Ragazine and their commissars monitoring their adherence to talking points.  That said, an enterprising photo shopper has given time Ragazine a cover that is as close to the real truth that the lamestream servile mediocres won't touch...because it doesn't fit the current Nazi/Communist template they are ordered to follow by the dnc.  And this one comes as close to truth as is humanly possible.

In short, THAT, ladies and gentlemen, IS the malignant face of the democrap party in 2018.

A Whine About Wine

This was a new one to me.  Not that it didn't end with the same old attempted-scam result.

But it was amusing, nonetheless.

Note the opening ploy by the scammer:

Dear Sir or Madam,

We would like to find some suppliers who can supply Red Wines. If your company is capable of producing or supplying, please send us your products information and catalog quotation. We need a lot of amount. Hope we will have a good cooperation . Once you get our email and if you are interested, please kindly give us a feedback.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

 

Best Regards.

 

Zhao jian hua

 

Tel: 0086-871-63530650

Mobile: +8613114229858

website:www.ynjg.com 

 

 

How anyone would get my character's email address and take it for being a custom winery is clearly beyond reason for any legitimate inquirer.  I wasn't sure how the scammer planned to find out "what's in my wallet" so as to get some of it, but I've seen this scam template over construction equipment and other "catalog" items, and am pretty sure that there was some kind of licensing, sales or shipping "fee" involved.

 

At any rate, it was time for my character -- the antonym to wine connoisseur -- to see how far the thread would play:

 

 

My company makes widgets.  I suppose we can distill them into something akin to red wine.  How much you want?  
 

 

The scammer's response proved to me that it was "game on":
 

Dear Sir,  

Please send more information of your products. Like the detail information in Products kinds and name, size,specification and alcohol vol and the manufacturer year and price list. We hope you can offer the products picture information, catalog quotation and price list to us. We want to choose from them and discuss the order.  
We are a Big State Group company in Kunming, Yunnan ,China. Our company's name is Yunnan Construction And Investment Holding Group Co., Ltd. As our company has a large of employees we want to by wines for their welfare in the coming Chinese traditional festival,Mid-Autumn festival(in September), We want to buy from the producer directly. We are not the seller or the distributor. We need about 80,000 bottles of wines mixed with 6 to 8 types of wines in a middle and low prices.  
 Our terminal port is Fangcheng harbour, Guangxi province, China. I hope to cooperate with you.

Looking forward to hearing from you. 
Best Regards.
 
Zhao jian hua  

(Just for snorts and guffaws, I looked up the real company and found that locations, phone numbers and other lil' issues didn't match between the real and the 'fake' company that had contacted moi; and the game continues).

 

I have spoken with our spirits distillers and distributor, and unfortunately, we have only one brand of cabernet...but that we do have in a significant abundance, and they think that we might just be able to meet your 80,000 bottle threshold.  How quickly will you be needing delivery?  

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff
Thank you for your message, please give me more information as soon as possible, I hope you give me quotation as soon as possible, to facilitate our plan reference to discuss orders, received a letter from your quotation, we will soon discuss the order, looking forward to cooperating with you.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
 
Best Regards.
 
Zhao jian hua  

 

Okay.  We can supply you with 78,000 bottles of our premier KaBOOM Farms signature label Ack Wine -- 47% alcohol by volume -- in the unique two liter bottles for a bulk price of $1.99 per bottle, and we can have this ready to ship by June 15, 2021.  Connoisseurs all agree that after one taste of Ack Wine, you'll agree.  You in?  

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,

 Thanks for your letter. Can you tell me your company information? We are discussing the order. And we hope you can list out the products and its information in detail. As like: Product name :    size of bottle :750ml or 2L? produce year:  Price/bottle:  Present stock:   Hope you can send the information we need. And also can you send us the picture of your wine? we want to see its apearance and packaging. 

Looking forward to hearing from you.
 
Best Regards.
 
Zhao jian hua  

 

We will attempt to comply with all of your requests.  Our wine is a bit volatile in the early fermentation phase, so bear with us.  

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,

 Thanks for your letter. As we have inquiry you for a while and we get nothing about your products and your company. The festival is approaching, I hope you can send the information we need as quick for the folowwing cooperation. 
Looking forward to hearing from you.    

We're working very hard to overcome production bottlenecks and experimenting with accelerated fermentation processes with a couple new vintages we're trying.  Hope to have some good news for you soonest.    
Dear Jack Ewehoff,

Thanks for your letter.  We can understand you. But when will we start this cooperation and when will we can discuss the order without your products information? 
Looking forward to hearing from you.  

 

We just want to make sure that we can meet your order requirements in a timely and consumable fashion.  80,000 two liter bottles of wine is quite an undertaking in any vineyard.  Even one that uses self-fermentating substances.  

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,
Thanks for your letter. BUt we need about 85,000 bottles of wines and the size is 750ml not 2 L. Hope you can understand.

Looking forward to hearing from you.  

 

*!!?*  In one of your earlier missives, you said 80,000.  Now it's 85,000?

*HOLY WINE PRESS*

My fermenters will have to go into overtime mode to have any prayer of reaching that goal.

It may increase my cost of production, increasing the per bottle to $2.99, but I will see what

specials Taco Bell is running.  

 

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,
Thanks for your letter. Sorry our demand is big as we have a lot of employees and we need give them present at the Mid-autum festival. And our order depends on your product quality and also the container. Hope you can send the product quoattaion to us. Can you?

Looking forward to hearing from you.  

 

 

We are fermenting contents and manufacturing bottles just as fast as we can.  

 

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,

We have been kept in touch for a long time and I hope that you can send us a price list as soon as possible. Waiting for your reply.

Looking forward to hearing from you.  

 

 

Our liter bottles are $1.99 and our two liter bottles are $2.99

Bottles by the case are discounted 10%.

Bottles by the pallet load are discounted 15%.

Bottles that don't explode in transit are discounted 35%.

 

Bottles that do explode in transit are full price.  

 

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff,

Thanks Jack and we want 88,000 bottles by the pallet and we want the bottle size in normal 750ml. Can you give us a pricelist according to our demand?

Looking forward to your reply.  

 

 

WTF...now it's 88,000?  F**k me to tears...I already sent you the price list.  The bottles will be boxed by the dozen and shipped by the pallet, aboard a special wine carrier chartered for the trip to China.  750 ml bottles?  Ours are close enough to qualify. 

The deal:  88,000 750 ml bottles at $1.99 per bottle = $175,120.

Less bulk discount of 15% = $26,268

Total cost to you:  $148,852

Two types of wine equally apportioned:

Ack Wine (chardonnay)

KaBOOM Farms Summer Storm Methane Wine (white)

 

I promise you that these brands will enliven your festival like no other.  

 

 

Dear Jack Ewehoff
Thank you for your timely response, I need you to give me a clear price list, so convenient for our confirmation order the product name, unit price, alcohol content, capacity, so that we can clear to send you the order, looking forward to you to give me a price list as soon as possible, happy cooperation!

Looking forward to your reply.  

 

 

I already sent you that, but I will send it again.  The price per bottle is $1.99 (we only make the good stuff); this is for 750 ml bottles.  Twelve to a case.  For your earlier request, here is how it breaks down:

 

The deal:  88,000 750 ml bottles at $1.99 per bottle = $175,120.

Less bulk discount of 15% = $26,268

Total cost to you:  $148,852

Two types of wine equally apportioned:

Ack Wine (chardonnay)

KaBOOM Farms Summer Storm Methane Wine (white)

 

 Finally, this email confirms that we're getting closer to the gist of the scam:

Sorry, Jack, there must be some misunderstandings between us and after the discussion of our broad of directors, we confirmed the order. Meanwhile, we have drafted a draft contract both in English and Chinese enclosed. If you have any corrections, your gentle corrections will be accepted. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact with me. We will communicate with each other and complete the consensus together.

Our board of directors are very concerning about our between cooperation. We also invite you to come to China to sign the contract soon. We hope you can arrange everything well and come to Kunming soon to sign the contract in person. It is important and essential to sign the contract face to face which is either good or a grantee to both of us. We can have a good talk in a meeting and communicate more details in a better way.

If an invitation is needed, please send us your passport information for us to make the invitation.

I am looking for having a long and stable business relationship with you and have a good cooperation.

and he adds this for 'authentication':

 

So now that we're tantalizingly close to the 'scam' being sprung, let's make it easy for them:
It will be difficult for me to get away to travel to China to sign off on this.  Perhaps you have a local attorney available to act as a go-between who can do this on my behalf?

And this is where it rested for three days, until I received this "great awakening" email from the scammer:


You are not honorable. We research and find there is no KaBOOM Farms winery list in USA. You are no to communicate with us further.  


I always love it when a scammer says that me/my character(s) are "not honorable".  That's like Jim Acosta from cnn wanting to be taken seriously.


I didn't bother bringing up to the emailer that I'd already researched HIS company and found next to nothing matching up with the real one vs his...but -- and naturally -- my character couldn't leave well enough alone: 

 Hey, I told you that my company made widgits, and I'd see about adapting to manufacturing wine. If you had paid attention, you'd have understood that. Too bad too: we just took out a patent on the very first wine ever made from human methane. We're also distilling cow methane into wine. KaBOOM Farms lives and will be making noise on the spirits front for a long time to come. You swing and a miss and strike out, hokay?


Thousands of bottles of wine on the wall...that fart when you open them.  They do make my pet rock laugh...

 

I Shot The Tariff

..but I didn't poot the duty fees.

With no apologies to Eric Clapner or whatever it was that a Clinton admin nincompoop called him.

Scammers will use any governmental agency they can find a listing for online to use in a scam.

Rather like the dems and unions.

So it didn't surprise me to hear from the US Customs Service and Border Patrol:


United States Customs and Border Protection,

401 M St, Washington, DC 20460

 

Attention!

 

This is to notify you about the latest development concerning all the consignment boxes that are left in our custody, which yours are inclusive, In the past you where given a bill huge amount in order to receive your consignment of which we did not hear from you for sometime now and the Diplomatic Courier who conveyed this consignment boxes to United States because his visa has expired left for his country about a month ago.

 

Hence, The custom agency has decided to release all consignment boxes to enable all beneficiaries invest with their consignment boxes and we are now offering a Special BONUS to help all our customers that are having their Consignment boxes in our custody due prices. In order words we are now requesting that those involve should pay only the sum of $70.00 to receive all their payment abandoned in our custody.

 

Further more you should be aware that we have scanned most of the consignment boxes and the scanned result of ten consignment boxes shows united states currency including yours while other consignment boxes contains family treasures and documentations so you are advised to use this opportunity to receive your two consignment boxes contains ($4.500,000.00).

 

But remember that after (2 days) you did not make the payment then we will divert your consignment to Government treasury department, Again after (48hrs) We will entering last second quarter which will make it impossible for you to receive your fund in future and that is the reason why we decided to help all our customers before we enter into new Schemes.

 

Thanks for your cooperation

 

Yours Sincerely,

John Wagner

Executive Director of Admissibility

And Passenger Programs

U.S. Customs and Border Protection  

 

 

"before we enter into new schemes"...riiiiiiight.

 

Let's see how this edit helps them with their next scheme:

 

 

From: U.S. Customs and Wearing of Proper Border Protection <wshburiak@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 10:10 AM
Subject: Special Offer From Bonco No Longer Voidable Where Prostate Is Plugged Up

 U.S. Customs and Wearing of Proper Border Protection

401 M St, Washington, DC 20460

 

Boneless Nachos!

We've got nachos...boneless nachos...we've got boneless nachos...iiiyeeeeee!

 

This is to notify you about the latest development concerning all the lovely boneless nachos that are left in our custody, which yours are inclusive.  You didn't KNOW that you had boneless nachos in our care?  Holy frijole!  In the past you were given a huge bill and told to quack like a duck for me...quack like a duck!  Which, when requested, we did not hear from you for sometime now and the persons from the NSA we hired to "data mine" you are impatiently awaiting you quacking like a duck for them into your Alexa from Amazon, or the fake flowers on your kitchen table, or into the lapel pin the UPS driver is wearing, or toward the pterodactyl drone that is hovering fifty feet over your place right now, watching every move you make, every breath you take.  Operators have been standing by for quite some time now, trying to implicate you in the Russian bot probe of everything and anything related to why Hellary fah down and can't get over not being the first broom-riding female dictator in 'Merican hysterectomy.   She'll soon have a ghost writer do up a book for that (What Happened When I Farted by HRC, published by Random Excuses Haus), but that's anuddah buttah, which expired about a month ago.

 

Hence, we have filled the time picking our butts for morsels and contemplating starting a genital hair farm for toupee transplants.  We tire of this so we has decide to release all the documents relating to painful rectal itch in the John Adams administration to enable Nancy Bela Pelosi further confusion on who the current president is. 

We bad.

Please note that all beneficiaries invested in boneless nachos are not the same and your results may vary, especially if you are one of those wingnuts that insert your culinary consumables in you or your spouse's genital cavities...yuck.

And you can have all of this at this one time special price of only $70.00.

BUT WAIT...there's MORE:

if you're among the first 100 respondents to this email, you also receive, at NO EXTRA CHARGE, an 8x10 glossy of Hellary Clinton's butt.  That's normally abhorrent.

Abnormally as well.

Further more you should be aware that we have scammed most of the low-educated idiots at cnn and determined that they are all related to the scarecrow, especially in the lacking-a-brain department. 

 So what the flying fish fungular f**k are you waiting for?  Be among the first 100 respondents NOW.  Souplines are limited, and the stuff they have there has been drooled in by a yack and a cat with hairballs.

We will entering last second quarter which will make it impossible for you to place a bet on whether or not William & Mary's QB can avoid being sacked at a Whole Foods.

Not sure how that's relevant, or if it's related to a mammal with large ears and a trunk, but we're randomly digressing because our meds ran out and the pink manatee is sniping at us from the swamp with a Salad Shooter.

 We need to clear all this sh*t up before we enter into new Schemes.

 

Thanks for your cooperation

 

Yours Sincerely,

John Wagner

Executive Director of Ad Hoc Horking Anonymous

U.S. Customs and Wearing of Proper Border Protection 

 

 

Since the..uh...US Customs folks herein are probably still trying to sort out tariffs, I reckon there'll be no follow up from them on this.

 

 

It's doubtful that Eric Clapner will, either.