And Still More Illuminincompoops

The Nigerian branch of the Illuminincompoops is persistent.

Not convincing...but persistent.

The real Illuminincompoops out there must find them embarrassing.

Here's their latest effort to give me, my two pet rocks and my deactivated Alexa by Amazoid, da business:

JOIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATI….

Join illuminati today join the great illuminati brotherhood today
and live a better and happy life. Welcome to the great temple of
Riches, Fame and Powers. Are you a business Man, or Woman,
Politician, Musician, Pastor, Lawyer, Actor, Actress, banker, and
you? want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can
achieve your dreams by being a member of the Great illuminati  
brotherhood. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be
fully accomplished, if you really want to be a member of the
great illuminati  brotherhood, note: New members are rewarded
with $100,000.00 US Dollars A Golden Ring will be offered, that
will protect and guild you from enemies, and a free visa to all
country. 

No human sacrifices or sharing of blood. if you are

really interested contact us today on via email:

illuminatitemple.usa@hotmail.com or whatsApp on +1 (480) 442-
1739.

with best wishes
Mr. Danny Paul   

Yes, I know that they say that they are the illuminati temple usa...which is what most Nigerian illuminincompoop templates instruct their sheeple to email from their fly-infested internet cafes around Lagos.

Meh.

Since the Nigerian illuminincompoops most closely follow Democrap National Crimemittee substandards, it seemed only right to work that into the edit:

From: Dr.Danny Paul <info@illuminatitemple.co.uk>
Sent: Tuesday, July 20, 2021 9:27 AM
To: jackwagonfullofshite01@hotmail.com 
Subject: Good Golly Miss Molly Please Lick My Lolly!

Good Golly Miss Molly Please Lick My Lolly!

JOIN THE ABJECTLY SUBSTANDARD ILLUMININCOMPOOPS....PLEASE?

Join the Nigerian chapter of the Illuminincompoops...please?

Join the abjectly substandard Nigerian chapter of the Illuminincompoops

and live a life that sucks worse than anything imaginable. Welcome to the 

painful rectal temple of disease and deceit, Nigerian Illuminincompoop

style.  Are you a Man, Woman, Gender Neutral or non-binary octosexual

orthopod, or one of 58 mental illnesses the DNC made up to let 

pedophiles have access to kids in public bathrooms?

If you are, then you can be sure that lots of pedophiles in politics,

entertainment, big pharma, big tech, and other abject sacks of sh*t

plan to be famous in life by wrecking your dreams to fulfill their

own.  

You can't achieve your dreams by being a member of the Abjectly

Substandard Illuminincompoops gender-fluidhood.  Do this and

your dreams are a swirly disappearing down the toilet.  That is

guaran-f**king-teed.

Note: New members are rewarded with sending us money and

receiving in return not ONE F**KING THING!!!  The human sacrifices 

and sharing of blood will follow if you come to Nigeria where our

fine young cannibals are standing by to take your reservations.

If you have the IQ of a tree stump -- rather like kamala -- contact us today on via email:

illuminatitemple.usa@hotmail.com or whatsApp on +1 (480) 442-
1739.

Bite us,
Mr. Danny Paul

 The originating scammer had only one observation about the edit:

make jest of the illuminati at your peril fool.

I will.  Let me know how that empty threat works out for you, twatwaffle.  Asking for a friend.

The pet rocks and deactivated Alexa are hiding in the corner -- Seymour is wielding my five iron -- and I'm just waiting for that peril....*Jeopardy Theme song on loooooong loop*

Meanwhile, another recipient of the edit chimed in with some degree of confusion:

What's this for?  How this help our business?

Oh for egg salad f**k's sake, can't you see the obvious parallel parkings between the lines of your scheme and this one?  It's clear as river mud to me.  Have yourself slathered with honey and staked down on an army ant hill for one hour you buffoon.  That's an illuminincompoops typical indoctrination test of faith.

stop write to me!!!

Awww gee, and just when it was starting to get good.

The pet rocks and deactivated Alexa are still hiding, but they do like that honey idea...

Nigerian Illuminincompoops Get Help

Not really.

But some Whackadoodle outfit purportedly from Nigeria is marketing something akin to the Illuminincompoops there.

Take a gander:


Dear Sir/Madam
Good day and God Bless you.Rhema For 2Day, a daily devotional sharing the BLESSING and changing lives by the gospel is here again.We are glad to inform you that Rhema For 2Day is three years online now,changine lives and sharing the BLESSING of the Lord to millions around the world via our daily teachings and admonition via the word of God.You too, can enjoy of these boundless BLESSING.Are you downcast,frustrated,sick,discouraged,addicted to drugs or just about to pack up? Then you can subscribe to our daily teachings via our email address .
Millions are yet in the valley of decision, some are about to take their lives now others are languishing in the kingdom of darkness with no hope of living the devils Doman, but we are charged by God to bring deliverance and succor to them by the gospel. We need your token sacrifice to do this, everyone can not be a full time online evangelist. But, your seed offering(token sacrifice from the heart of love can send the gospel around the world),we count on you to be part of changing the lives of millions around the globe via this ministry.
Be sure to know this, you are our partner in this regard(in BLESSING and Receiving)0  and every BLESSING accrued to this ministry you become a bonafide partner in it Phillipians 1:2-7, and you can take a draw on it anytime by FAITH.
You can join us on https://web.facebook.com/rhemfor2Day/ or email us directly for daily update
BE BLESSED
Akhidimen O.Lance
+234-818-9720-172
rhemafor2da@net-c.com  


*Yawn*...whatever.


My pet rock, Seymour, doesn't like to mess with the Illuminincompoops; say's it's bad juju.

"Do NOT!!! PHFFFFFFFFT!"

Still, Seymour left this edit to me:

From: EmpheRhema For 2day< info@rhemaf2day.org>
Sent: Tuesday, February 27, 2018 9:29 AM
Subject: get back to where you once belonged

 

Dear Jojo
Good day and here's an insincere Bless you for when you sneeze.

EmpheRhema For 2Day, a daily devolutional sharing the intestinal curse of the Nigerian illuminincompoops and changing lives by the gossamer accordion to matthew mark luke and duck is here again.  We are glad to inform you that EmpheRhema For 2Day is three years online now, charging fees and sharing the intestinal curse of the Nigerian illuminincompoops to millions around the world via our daily emails and admonition via the word of a goat head baphomet in a oracle located next to an outdoor outhouse in Lagos.  You too, can be a victim of these boundless emails full of abject crap. 

Are you downcast, frustrated, sick, discouraged, addicted to stuffing gummy bears up your nose and just about to pack up? Then you must already be one of our subscribers.  WOOT WOOT!

Millions are yet in the valley of dolls, some are about to take their lives by watching the brain-eating Throwing Up With The Kardashians show, now others are languishing in the gender neutraldumb of leftist darkness with no hope of living the way the Medusa of the DNC, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz demands that you do -- in the leftist devils Domain -- but we are charged by the hour to bring you further down down down down down, just like the ELO sang in the '80s.

 

 

 We need your token sacrifice to do this, everyone can not be like Pastor Gas, a full time online evangelist flatulator.

But, your seed offering (token sacrifice from the genitals which will be displayed on our goat head baphomet in Lagos),we count on you to be part of the lives we're changing for the worse around the globe via this menstrual cycle.

 

Be sure to know this:  you are a fluke .. of the universe.  You have no right to be here, and whether you know it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.  Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Pay no attention to the doofus behind the curtain, put away your bucket of water you planned to throw at Hellary, and you shall become in our power to do with as the makers of Airplane did with Otto.  Even if it was only with Julie Haggerty.

Really inexperienced operators are standing by for your partnership to be run up on the rocks of our leftist-guided dark shadows.  Barnabas Collins thought the remake sucked, by the way.

Reach for the skies, hand over your wallet and let the Twitter birds not crap in your mess kit, unless you are Republican.  As it says in Fallopians 1:1:1, if a sheep is a ram and a donkey is an ass, why then is a ram in the ass a goose?

The Fallopians didn't know either.  They actually thought they could use those tubes for mortars.

To this menstrual cycle you become a bonafide partner in it as noted in I wanna play my Harmonicus 1:2-7, and you can take a draw on it anytime by erasing what you drawd on it the last time.

You can join us on a day of the week or email us directly for daily donation to our goat head baphomet; he who is someone's daddy wants to get her a Porsche.

BE BLESSED BY NOT WALKING BENEATH DEFECATING WATER FOWL.
Akhidimen O. Lance

Head priest of sacrifice and other asordid duties as proscribed in the DNC Talking Points personfest dysentery published by George Soros.
+234-818-9720-172
rhemafor2da@net-c.com  

 

 

As it turns out, this didn't much help the emailers OR the Nigerian Illuminincompoops.

 

No did it help snakes, getting stuck to DWS's head.  There'll be hell to pay for that...for the snakes.

Another Nigerian Illuminincompoop Swing and MISS

Funny...I'd rate most of the scammers there to be substantially below 69 on the IQ scale.

Eh.

Here's the latest effort of a self professed Nigerian Illuminati scammer to try my blog on for size:


Join the brotherhood of illuminati. call dr jaja
07050480047 nigeria, usa, or anywhere in the world today be rich, fame, and posses power.email us on illuminatijaja@gmail.com or call us on +2347050480047
for immediate initiation new members registration is now open online now !!!!!

benefits given to new members who join illuminati.

a cash reward of usd $300,000 usd
a new sleek dream car valued at usd $120,000 usd
a dream house bought in the country of your own choice
one month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
one year golf membership package
a v.i.p treatment in all airports in the world
a total lifestyle change
access to bohemian grove
monthly payment of $1,000,000 usd into your bank account every month as a member
one month booked appointment with top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world.
if you are interested call dr jaja now  +2347050480047
are or send your e-mail to illuminatijaja@gmail.com for immediately initiation.new members registration is now open online  


The latest membership drive must be petering out...LOL.  At any rate, I gave my pet rock Seymour the edit off and did this one in my sleep:


Join the small cliché of blithering idiots that comprise the butt fingering crowd at a fly infested internet café in Nigeria, called the Illuminincompoops. call dr jaja
07050480047 nigeria, usa, or anywhere in the world today and be seen as stupid, idiotic, low life and akin to painful rectal itch.   email us on illuminatijaja@gmail.com
or call us on +2347050480047 for the one operator who was standing by until army ants devoured him...now just leave a voice mail.

benefits given to new members who join the Nigerian illuminincompoops:

a bill for $300 usd
a new picture of Hellary in her best stretch pants


an outhouse bought in the country of our choice
one month holiday to Syria to see if you can compete on Survivor.
one day golf membership package in an Afghanistani mine field.
a v.i.p treatment in all airport on Uranus.
a total lifestyle change (like you didn't figure that out from the first entries).
access to the Qattara Depression.
monthly payments you make to us of whatever the f**k we can squeeze from you every month as a member.
one booked appointment with the meth heads of the DNC.

 if you are interested call dr jaja now  +2347050480047 and schedule a psych exam with your own doctor.   Or email the fat assed Dr JaJa  illuminatijaja@gmail.com for immediately being marked as a moron. 

It took a couple days, but Dr. Jaja did actually not think before responding:


blaspmey  you are mark bye our oracle and bad thins come to you!  


It looks to me from h'yar that bad things have already come to you, starting with your spell check.  However, it's been kinda boring here lately so lay it on me.  Have your goat head baphomet toilet oracle take a try at me.  Go ahead, Dildo Breath...I await it!  Tell it to bring its own snacks.


A couple days...weeks...even months later, and I'm still waiting for Dr. Jaja's oracle to get off its "blaspmey" and do sumpin....meh.

Another "swing and a MISS" from Nigerian Illuminincompoop Land.



 

The Illuminincompoops Prove 2017 Ain't Changed

Yawp...new year, same old crap.

It's been a while since any of my email characters have heard from the Nigerian illuminincompoops.  The last little butt polyp to make contact swore that by my having dissed their "oracle", I and my family would not make it out of 2015 alive.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

Try again, Bunkie.

So here's their latest ploy which sucks pretty much as all their others:

WARNING...WARNING...WARNING...

IGNORE THOSE CLAIMING TO BE AGENT OF THE ILLUMINATI..
They are fraudulent Nigerians/Africans,they will stop at nothing just to confuse you,
they are fake agents from Nigerians/Africans. they are all over facebook posting themselves with different pages,names and photos of the illuminati organization,NEVER YOU SEND MONEY TO THEM FOR ANY REASON. WE SHALL KEEP EXPOSING THEM TO YOU. BE WARNED NEVER TO CONTACT THEM,IF YOU HAVE ALREADY FALLEN VICTIM NEVER YOU PUT THE BLAME ON THE ILLUMINATI....
 the illuminati will never contact anyone with individual names,please dont lay the blame on the illuminati.
you can only be contacted when your payment for your initiation/membership form and the materials needed for your initiation has been confirmed by our HIGH PRIESTS in the united state.
 the illuminati offers wealth,fame,power,protection,k nowledge and many other things you wish for,including a tax free life,free medical attention,a free pass to travel around the world like every other member,emotional and creative lectures to improve your mind.
 we have been doing this for years,we watches everything,nothing is hidden from us,we are everywhere,we have members all over the world,we rule this world...

NOTE: we have not been recruiting people online nor own social network before now...
throuhout our organizations history many citizens have inaccurately portrayed us in a negative manners.
these misconceptions have been perpetuated for centuries through video,photos,articles,books and unofficial online resources claiming to understand our mission and members.

In creating this online destination,we hope to alleviate the concerns,voiced by your governments and people and seek to provide insight into our goals. we invite you,the human citizens to discover more about our organization and to understand your role in this planetary union because the establishment of the new world order is about to begin,that is why we are giving this equal opportunity to everyone who is interested in joining our organization.
 Are you a POLITICIAN,ENGINEER,FASHION DESIGNER,ATHLETE,DOCTOR,ENTERT AINER,MODEL,TEACHER,GRADUATE/S TUDENT WITH GOOD SKILLS OR YOU HAVE IT IN MIND TO EXPAND YOUR BUSINESS, ETC.
 IF YOU ARE INTERESTED KINDLY Send US AN EMAIL TO THE BELOW Email address ,AND YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FULLY MADE UP YOUR MIND TO BE A MEMBER.

Email : illuminatifraternityworld666 @gmail.com   

 

 

Yada..yada..yada.

 

 

Obviously they need help with their email.  Obviously I was only too happy to give it to them:

 

 

WARNING WILL ROBINSON...WARNING...WARNING...ILLUMININCOMPOOPS DETECTED!!!

IGNORE THOSE CLAIMING TO BE AGENT OF THE ILLUMININCOMPOOPS..(including this email which is sent by a full of sh*t douche canoe as well)
They -- like me, Jerry Wilson -- are fraudulent Nigerians/Africans,they will stop at nothing just to confuse you, they are fake agents from Nigerians/Africans. they are all over facebook posting themselves with different pages,names and photos of the illuminincompoop organization,NEVER YOU SEND MONEY TO THEM (OR ME) FOR ANY REASON. WE SHALL KEEP EXPOSING OURSELVES TO YOU *FLASHES OPEN RAINCOAT*.  BE WARNED NEVER TO CONTACT US,IF YOU HAVE ALREADY FALLEN VICTIM, ALWAYS BLAME THOSE NIPPLEHEADS OF THE ILLUMININCOMPOOS....
The illuminincompoops will contact anyone with individual names...f**k, we'll contact ANYONE with ANY NAME, so it's okay to lay the blame on the illuminincompoops.

 

Want proof?  Read this sentence:  you can only be contacted when YOUR PAYMENT for your initiation/membership form and the materials needed for your initiation has been confirmed by our TWAT WAFFLE HIGH (ON DRUGS) PRIESTS in the united state.

The Nigerian illuminincompoops falsely offer wealth, fame, power, protection, knowledge and many other things you wish for, especially if you are a millennial college cupcake.  The Nigerian illuminincompoops falsely offer a tax free life, free medical attention, a free pass to travel around the world like every other member, emotional safe rooms with teddy bears, puppies and pastries to give you a place to hide from trigger words like self responsibility, accountability, working for a living and having integrity and ethics.  With the Nigerian illuminincompoops, you'll never have to worry about life's trigger words again!!!

 

 we have been screwing people for years, we watches everything, nothing is hidden from us if it was on hellary's leaky email server, we are like butt polyps at a DNC event in that we is everywhere, we have testimonials from people we've duped all over the world...but for hellary's epic FAIL, we'd rule this world and be giving out inflatable hellary sex toys, endorsed by Bill...

NOTE: we have been recruiting suckers online and on social network before now...throuhout our organizations history many citizens have incredibly accurately portrayed us in a negative manners.  Assholes.  These accuracies have been perpetuated for centuries through video, photos, articles, books and unofficial online resources that know we're full of illuminincompoop sh*t.

In creating this latest jackwagon load of online crapola, we hope to deceive concerns voiced by reasoned, intelligent people and seek to provide 100% deceit asto our goals.  we invite animal, mineral, mental vegetables, hairy fungerers and cosmic muffins, to discover just how full of abject CRAP our organization is and to understand that you're a fluke of the universe, you have no right to be here, and whether you know it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back as we screw you over with one of the most ham-handed scams rampant on the internet.  

 

 IF YOU ARE INTERESTED AND DON'T WANT TO HURT OUR UBER SENSITIVE FEELINGS, KINDLY Send US AN EMAIL TO THE BELOW Email address ,AND YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FULLY MADE UP YOUR MIND TO BE SCREWED, BLUED AND TATTOOED AS ONE MORE SCAMMED IDIOT OF THE NIGERIAN ILLUMININCOMPOOPS.

Email : illuminatifraternityworld666 @gmail.com 

 

Having once again insulted their oracle -- and a couple-three of the DNC -- I again awaited their *wrath*.

 

*Jeopardy Theme*

This, I gather, passes for Jerry Wilson's *wrath*:


You are a bastard, you gonna be caused because Africans got powers and I'm gonna swear from you flip our shrine

 

I didn't know that your shrine was flippable.  After you crap in it, does it flush BEFORE you flip it?  If not, don't get any on you.


Yawp...nothing new for 2017, at least so far as Scamland goes.

More Illuminincompoops Try Their Luck

The more the various Nigerian Illuminincompoops try, the more they fail.

This latest one would try testing parachutes that open on impact, me thinks:


WELCOME TO THE GREAT ILLUMINATI CULT
Are you a business man or an Artist, Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today. you shall be given an ideal chance to visit
the Illuminati and his representative after registrations is completed
by you, no sacrifice, or human life needed, Illuminati cult brings
along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate
poverty away from your life now. it only a member who is been
initiated into the church of Illuminati have the authority to bring
any member to the church, so before you contact anybody you must be
link by who is already a member, Join us today and realize your
dreams. we also help out our member in protection of drugs pushing,
once you become a member you will be rich and famous for the rest of
your life, Illuminati make their member happy,after initiation you
will be given the sum of 2 MILLION DOLLARS AND A HOUSE IN ANY PART OF
THE WORLD...  


My pet rock, Seymour -- fresh from his road trip to West Virginia and ever ready to mess widda illuminincompoop -- edited it thus:


WELCOME TO THE LOWLIFE ILLUMINUMBNUTS CULT
Are you a dung beetle, termite infested tree stump, or just an abject dumbass

from Nigeria or thereabouts and you want to become an even lower life twit

by joining us to become one of our official member today, and become one

of the biggest jokes in the world where average people laugh their asses off

at you and you are recognized as the intellectual equal to a goat turd.

illuminatitempleofriches1@gmail.com

To join our Illuminumbnuts arrrganization after registrations is completed
by you, you must sacrifice a herd of domestic animals chosen by us.
This will bring nothing good into your life, but it will bring us the

satisfaction to know that we've found another mugu dumbass out there

that we could sucker.  it only a member who is been initiated into the fouled

pants of Illuminumbnuts and uses a baphomet dildo that have the authority to bring
any member to the church, so before you contact anybody you must be
link by who is already a member in suck ass standing with genital warts.

Join us today and realize your biggest mistake in life was doing so! 

 

And it quickly became apparent that we not dealing with any ordinary illuminincompoop:  

 

 

that not what i write!  you take change by upset powers behind your comprehend!  

 

 

Eh...one Nigerian illuminincompoop is like all Nigerian illuminincompoops.  And this is exactly what you write!   PHFFFFFFFT!  

 

 

no is not!  you are handed our temple for punishment!  you will see!  

 

 

Yes is too!!!  I PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFT on your temple and I PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT on you!  See THIS!

 

i warn you not again and you not write for forgive because it too late for you.  

 

 

You just guarantee that I write you in perpetuity, Poodle Lips.  I laughingly DEFY another Nigerian illuminincompoop FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

My pet rock, Seymour, was in his element (writing a lode) ("Did NOT!  PHFFFFFFFFT!"), and began pouring copies of every responded to scammer email possible into the account.

 

Until the emails began to *bounce*.

 

Which means that my pet rock lost his one (thousandth) and only (few thousand more yet to come) chance to become a Nigerian illuminincompoop.  While somewhere in Nigeria, an illuminincompoop temple is getting really frustrated that the more they try, the less effective they are at turning me, my characters OR my pet rock into a waffle iron...which, on the eve of Halloween, might be useful for a day or so...

 

 

 

More Illuminincompoop Tweaking

Nigerian, Kenyan..whatever.

The Nigerian Illuminincompoops aren't happy with me.

That inspired me to further their unhappiness.

So I took their auto-response (seen played with a couple of posts ago), and edited it even further.

Which went over like a fart in a diva's photo shoot.

Witness:

YOU ARE WELCOME -- F**K, YOU ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED -- TO THE DILAPIDATED TEMPLE OF THE NIGERIAN ILLUMININCOMPOOPS.

My child it really SUCKS to be one of us, but if you insist i can help you become a member of the Illuminincompoops if only you are completely mugu stupid enough to follow all we will say to you.  Before you apply you have to do the following:

1.  Take a picture with a fish on your head and send it to us.

2.  Sacrifice your favorite pet to our faux deity Ukulele Unga Bunga Horney Boo Boo.

3.  Marry a goat.

4.  Butt f**k a badger without losing your genital.

5.  Sing the Burundi national anthem using helium.

6.  Put a back up alarm on Hillary Clinton's fat ass...without her knowing.

7.  Explain in 500 words or more why if a sheep is a ram and a donkey is an ass, how that makes a ram in the ass a goose.

8.  List in 1 word or less everything good the democrats did for Detroit.

9.  Tell us in your own words why Boko Haram is an atheist organization that eats pork and rapes tree stumps.

10.  Has South Park ever made an episode about us?  If yes, tell us what season and episode.

Nextly you have to fill this spaces BELOW.

your name in Yoruba;
your country in Spanish;
your state of genital fungus;your Phone number;
your age at the time you tried to screw a sheep;
occupation at the time you screwed the sheep;

finally you must know our secret HAND TO GOAT GENITAL masturbate to join.  

 

 

That got this in reply:

 

 

asshole stop write to us   

 

 

Being the cooperative sort that I'm not, I sent it to them a dozen more times.  And from other email addresses as well.

 

I really don't play well with others.  Especially Nigerian Illuminincompoops  ;-)