Hotel Canadaforlornia

Who knows...it might even look like this.

Got another of those online employment offers, this time from an alleged luxury hotel in Canada.

Probably equipped with hot and cold running moose.  Squirrel extra (see surcharges).

Here's the ploy:


  STRATFORD HOTEL CANADA
                                                      107 Erie Street, Stratford, Ontario
                                                                N5A 2M5 Canada
                                                Tele- +1416-628-2951 -Fax +1416-628-2951.
                                              Email: humanresources@stratfordhotel-ca.com


ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A CAREER WHERE YOUR OPINIONS AND IDEAS MATTER? WE ARE LOOKING FOR BRIGHT GRADUATES/POST GRADUATES BETWEEN AGES 22 AND ABOVE Y WITH EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION AND MANAGERIAL SKILLS AND AN APTITUDE FOR CUSTOMER SERVICES.

CANDIDATES WOULD BE REQUIRED TO POSSES  GOOD INTER-PERSONAL SKILLS AND A PASSION TO KEEP LEARNING WHILE DELIVERING EFECTIVE SERVICES TO OUR MUMEROUS CUSTOMERS,YOU WILL BE WORKING PRIMARILY IN ROTATING DAY SHIFTS,WITH OCCASIONAL NIGHT SHIFTS.

VACANCIES ARE AVAILABLE IN THE FOLLOWING DEPUTATIONS:

1.    MANAGERS/ASSISTANT MANAGERS
2.    COMPUTER OPERATORS/SOFTWARE ENGINEERS
3.    ACCOUNTANTS
4.    SECURITY
5.    LINGUISTS
6.    CASHIERS
7.    ESCORTS
8.    CHEFS
9.    SUPERVISOR TRAINERS
10.  WAITERS
11.  CLEANERS

ENTITLEMENTS, BENEFITS & PACKAGES:
A VERY ATTRACTIVE NET SALARY PAID IN USD [UNITED STATE DOLLARS].
QUALITY SINGLE OR FAMILY HOUSING ACCOMODATIONS IN HOTEL VICINITY.
FREE MEDICAL CARE FOR EMPLOYEE AND FAMILY HERE IN CANADA.
EXCELLENT EDUCATIONAL ASSISTANCE BENEFITS WITH FAMILY STAUS EMPLOYMENT.
PAID AIRFARES ALLOWING FULL FLEXIBILITY WITH HOLIDAYS.   
PERSONAL EFFECTS SHIPMENTS AND EXCESS BAGGAGE ALLOWANCES
FULL ACCESS TO SOME OF THE BEST RECREATIONAL FACILITIES IN CANADA
LIFE INSURANCES.
OFFICIAL VEHILCLES /MAXIMUM SECURITY IN WORK ENVIRONS AND HOUSING COMMUNITY.

JOB STATUS:
FULL TIME AND CONTRACT [PLEASE INDICATE WHEN APPLYING].


SALARY INDICATION:

3,919.34 USD TO 7,055.29 USD MONTHLY DEPENDING UPON EXPERIENCE,FIELD OF SPECIALIZATION.INTERESTED CANDIDATES SHOULD PLEASE SEND THEIR RESUMES BY EMAIL  AND ADDRESSED TO, THE  CLERK INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL CANADA. PLEASE SEND YOUR RESUMSE TO (Email: humanresources@intercontinentalhoteling.com)

REGARDS
HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGER,
INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL CANADA.  


That's what it looked like when it arrived h'yah; here's what it looked like when it was replied to th'yah:


STREP THROAT HOTEL CANADA
                                                      107 Eriee Street, Strep Throat, Offtario
                                                                N5A 2M5 Canada
                                                Tele- +1416-628-2951 -Fax +1416-628-2951.
                                              Email: humanresources@stratfordhotel-ca.com


ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A CAR WITH EARS?  ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SPOUSE WHERE YOUR OPINIONS AND IDEAS MATTER? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WE ARE LOOKING FOR (not so) BRIGHT GRADUATES/POST GRADUATES BETWEEN THE IQs of 22 AND 25 WITH DUBIOUS COMMUNICATION SKILLS, THE MANAGEMENT STYLE OF ADOLPH HITLER AND AN APTITUDE FOR FOULING WHATEVER THEY TOUCH WHEN IT COMES TO CUSTOMER SERVICES.

CANDIDATES WOULD BE REQUIRED TO POSSESS A GOAT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND MAKE ITS HEAD SPIN 360 DEGREES AT LEAST TWICE.  YOU WILL BE WORKING PRIMARILY 24/7 AT SLAVE WAGES THOUGH WITH ACCESS TO ONE OF THE FEW FLUSHING TOILETS IN THIS PART OF OFFTARIO...IF AND WHEN WE GET IT UNPLUGGED.  MEANTIME, WE HAVE BOUNTIFUL TREES FOR YOU TO GO BEHIND.  CONSIDER THE RUN BACK BEING CHASED BY A PISSED MOOSE/BEAR AS PART OF OUR EMPLOYEE EXERCISE INCENTIVE (YOU RUN FAST, YOU DON'T GET ET).  

VACANCIES ARE AVAILABLE IN THE FOLLOWING DEPUTATIONS:

1.    DEPUTATION 1
2.    DEPUTATION 2 (MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE IN DEPUTATION 1)
3.    DEPUTATION 3 (MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE IN DEPUTATION 1 AND 2)
4.    SECURITY (MUST BE DEPUTATION)
5.    LINGUISTS (EXPERIENCE WITH SPAGETTI AND RIGATONI MIGHT HELP)
6.    CASHIERS (MUST HAVE BEEN ARRESTED BY OUR DEPUTATIONS AT LEAST ONCE)
7.    ESCORTS (ONLY BABES APPLY; WHO WANTS TO BE ESCORTED BY HILLARY CLINTON...EWWWW)
8.    CHEFS (SWEDISH CHEFS THAT "IN DEE FURR DE CHEEKIN" MUST TAKE REMEDIAL AZERBAJANI 101)
9.    SUPERVISOR TRAINERS (MUST HAVE SUPERVISED TRAINS FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS)
10.  WAITERS (ALL OF OUR PEOPLE ARE PROCRASTINATORS)
11.  CLEANERS (WE ALREADY HAVE ALL THE DIRTIERS WE CAN MANAGE)

ENTITLEMENTS, BENEFITS & PACKAGES:
A VERY ATTRACTIVE NET YOU CAN USE TO CATCH FISH (YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WE WERE GOING TO FEED YOU, AY).
QUALITY SINGLE OR FAMILY HOUSING ACCOMODATIONS IN AN APPLIANCE BOX WE SAVED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
FREE MEDICAL CARE FOR EMPLOYEE AND FAMILY AT A CLINIC IN UPSTATE USA (IT AIN'T REALLY FREE WHEN YOU GET A LOAD OF THE DEDUCTIBLES OBOLA RATCHETED THINGS UP TO DOWN THERE...WHAT A PUTZ).
EXCELLENT EDUCATIONAL ASSISTANCE BENEFITS WITH THINGS LIKE RIOT SHOPPING, WELFARE 101, COMMIE CORE MATH MADE OBFUSCATORY AND INTRODUCTORY WHAT WERE AMERICANS THINKING IN 2008/2012 101.
PAID AIRFARES ON TRAINED PTERYDUCKTYLS OF JURASSIC AIR SERVICES.   
PERSONAL EFFECTS SHIPMENTS TO YOUR NEXT OF KIN
FULL ACCESS TO WHAT'S LEFT OF SOME OF THE BEST RECREATIONAL FACILITIES IN SYRIA
LIFE EXPECTANCIES HALVED (SOMEONE'S GOT TO FEED THE BEARS).
OFFICIAL VEHILCLES (A LATE MODEL DOMESTICATED MOOSE WITH A SADDLE)

/MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON FACILITIES (YOU'LL SEE WHY)

JOB STATUS:
FULL TIME, CONTRACT AND WTF [PLEASE INDICATE WTF YOUR CHOICE IS]

CELERY OPTIONS:

WE ONLY GOT ONE KIND AY?  INTERESTED CANDIDATES (are morons) AND SHOULD PLEASE SEND THEIR RESUMES BY EMAIL  AND ADDRESSED TO, THE  CLERK INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC HOSTEL CANADA. PLEASE SEND YOUR RESUMSE TO (Email: humanresources@intercontinentalhoteling.com)

REGARDS
HUMAN RACEHORSES MISMANAGER,
INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC HOSTEL CANADA.  

Think that I'll get a job offer?  I'll even throw in Seymour as a door stop.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

Even in West Virginia, he heard me.

 

I Reckon I Upset China...And Others

I like to look in on my blog stats periodically to see who is looking in, and from where.

I still haven't had that visit from anyone identified in stats as being from Liechtenstein.  Lots from Switzerland, but no Liechtenstein.

I'll keep working on it.

Meantime, it appears I've upset The Peoples' Repugnant of China.  A few months ago, it was Russia that stopped showing up in my visitor logs.

Now it's China*.

I'm sure it has to do with my...er...my pet rock's edits and pokes at their good chubby buddy in PyingPyong, Kim Jong/Jung Un, the Pudginator.

No sense of humor, those Chi-coms.

I've had rare visits from Iran...but I don't expect any of those anytime soon, either.  After all, besides being in Israel's corner, I regularly make fun of Iran's US-based allies, Obola 'n Co.

Much fun as I make of the Left, I don't expect to see any regular visits or adoring comments from themselves, the Democrap National Committee, who figure regularly in my and my pet rock's edits.

Debbil Washingmachine Snitz has a tough enough time with reading them, let alone digesting what they say.

hrc's so-called "Super Volunteers" will see this as sexist.  I see it as calling a lying leftist what she is.

At any rate, a good part of the world looks in.  And I appreciate it.  More than 240,000 page hits and growing.

Liechtenstein, I'm still lookin' for ya.


*  soon as I mention it, China has returned with 23 page visits this week.
 

Edits Edits Edits

I dunno...mebbe Grumpy Cat has a point.

I'm sure the overseas online scammers don't consider me or my characters to be a good neighbor.

Nor would I be in so far as they're concerned.

Here are three reasons; three recent edits of two email scams and one comment made on my blog by a scammer that I edited and sent back to him.

I don't play well with others:

Anti-Uncle and Mormon Tabernacle Crimes Division

FBI Hindquarters In Washington, D.C.

Federal Bureau Of Socks 'n Underwear

J. Edgar Hoover Daid

935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 

 

Due to cut backs in law enforcement under Obola, we have to find other things to do.  SO...announcing with lights, sirens (actually a cat on whose tail we're standing) you have won the opportunity to be scammed under the guise of the National Lottery to the tune of $7.3million and you were referred to Nigeria to be paid by Central Bank of Nigeria but there has been too many delays because (a) you wouldn't respond and (b) there really ain't no moneys and (c) Nigeria is full of scamming scum illuminincompoops and other jackasses of dubious antecedence.  And not a ONE of which knows that that paragiraffe just said.    

  

We have sent an unemployed Agent to Nigeria to get your debit card from Fedex and make sure it's completely empty of moneys. His name is Fred Blake.  Before the sex change, she was Charo, and she decided to become he when her hootchy kootchy broke.  Agent Fred Blake is in Nigeria with Your ATM Debit card and wants desperately to be somewhere that he can buy shit that isn't broken, third-rate and smells of monkey feces.  Now this is very important...very important:  the mailing fee is only $200. However, Fedex would cost $320. A homing carrier pteryducktyl named Horaces is only $5.99 with discounts to seniors 55 and up.  I advise you use Horace but if you cannot afford it, then use Nigeria Postal Service which has a better track record of losing shit than the airlines do.  If you choose to use Nigeria Postal Service, never mind Fred Blake formerly aka Charo.  He's just standing around fingering his ass wondering if it all came out the last time.  

  

Please note that the card will be sent with FBI seal, and the only thing our FBI seals eat is anchovies, so it cannot be stopped by anyone and the seal won't eat it because it doesn't look or smell like an anchovy. This means you will surely get the card once it is sent out and no further payments. I give you my word on this if you don't call me surely.  My word is almost as good as Obola's on the hellthscare plan.

  

Since you've probably decided to use Nigeria Postal Service -- their motto is "When it absolutely positively has to be lost, we'll do it" -- you can disregard sending money to Fred formerly aka Charo. His western union information is therefore unnecessary and can be throwd away. 

Name: Fred Blake

Address: 22 Shane city, four points, Abuja, Nigeria

test question: WTF

Answer: Never Mind  

 

Charo might forgive me.

 

 

Mebbe.  Next:


Hello am Murcas cafes.  I'm a dilapidated street vending cart operator in Lagos.

My business collapse 8 months ago because an elephant sat on it. I had no hope of
getting my business alife again because when the elephant get up and walk away,

half my cart was still jammed in elephant's ass. I tried to borrow rope from someone to

lasso elephant and make it bring back the half of my dilapidated street vending

cart that was jammed in its ass, but I no not how make lasso.  To this I say, "F**k".

Yes, to that when it was this I say that and this.  Profoundly so.  I did not have
enough money to buy new street vending cart, but someone introduced me to a woman

called JULIA NAVARO. This woman sells herself out of a street vending cart two blocks

from where elephant sat on mine.  She make $30,000 without any property as
collateral; she use just her genital on trust. So my friends I am now back in business

trying to sell my genital on street corner in Lagos.  You send me business, yes?  I
said to myself why being selfish, so i decided to share this information
with everyone. Besides, I owe JULIA NAVARO royalties for every blue dress I

stain depending on what your definition if "is" is. 

Okey dokey, you may book me through Julia Navaro at navaroloancompany@gmail.com

Tell them Murcas Cafes refer you for 95% off.

Or was it 5%?   Perhaps again it time I say "F**k".  

 

 

Last but soitenly not least:

 

 

Payment Ripoff Commission (PRC)

ACOWSASS License Office.

Republic Du Benin (undt look to du whomever they can)

Attention

This is a Ripoff Commission set up by the new President of Republic du Benin, President Barack Hussein Barry Soetero Obola, ACOWSASS Chairman, in other to help exacerbate the International image of our continents mostly West Africa to pay compensation to ourselves under the guise of refunding scam victims both real and as yet scammed.  Our disclaimer also say that we is to fight against corruption in all ACOWSASS member countries this year, 2015 with a five Key Agenda.  We got Joe Bidumb, Cyclops Reid, Bela Pelosi and Debbil Washingmachine Snitz to do this up for us while they wet themselves over cake making in Indiana:

1). To recover and keep for ourselves any money extorted illegal from any Foreigner

2). To recover and keep for ourselves any property extorted illegally from any Foreigner

3). To recover and keep for ourselves any contractual payment denied from any Foreigner

4). To recover and keep for ourselves any confiscated or diverted payment from any Foreigner

5). To Fish-out and prosecute anyone who has made fun of and refused to let us scam them, foreign or domestic

If you fall in any of the above category, do not hesitate in contacting this commission with the following details, (1) Your Full Name, (2) Country (3) Address (4) Occupation (5) what you're having sex with and can you do it for us on a web cam (6) Direct phone number.   Our Mission is crooked as well as our objectives while all general efforts are geared towards furthering the image of West Africa and ACOWSASS as being every bit as corrupt and crooked as the Obola regime and the DNC. Thanks and we hope for your misunderstanding until we have your money.  Then we don't care.

Mr. John Oka

Chairman Payment Ripoff Commission (PRC)

ACOWSASS License Office.

 Republic Du Benin

with office in DNC, Washington DC  

 

Yeah, I'm sure reading this -- I emailed a copy of it to the DNC -- caused ol' Debbil this reaction.

 

 

I wonder how the internet fairness fraud of Obola will reckon with me?

 

 

Seymour Wasn't In Hillary's Server

Even as he "vacations" in West Virginia, my pet rock Seymour is keeping up on the news.

And saw this interview by Bill Clinton, regarding his lying, email-erasing wife, her imperial aspirations, and why her pants suits will have to get bigger and orange.

At least, that's how Seymour took it...and edited it:

Bill Clinton says in interview he'll be 'backside adviser'

By Seymour PetRock

WASHINGTON (ARG) — Former President and intern aficionado Bill Clinton says in an interview he plans to be a "backside adviser" in Hillary Rodehard Clinton's expected email cover up campaign and intends to spend the year working on his lengthy expertise with intern genital humidor tryouts.

As his marxist lying supersized pants suitess considers another presidential campaign if she can fit it in between lies, cover ups and fraud, the ex-president says in an interview with Clown and Cover Up ragazine released Tuesday that he would play a behind role examining potential interns for any number of uses, while remaining focused on his work at the Clinton Intern Genital Humidor Training Institute, which he founded in office and then took on the road in 2001 after he left the White House.

"I think it's important, and Hillary does too, that she go out there as if she's never heard of anything she's accused of having done wrong, and not recall sh*t," Clinton said. "And that my role should primarily be as a backside evaluator for the interns that I....er....we're going to need."

The former president impeached by the House defended his commitment to intern genital humidor accountability, calling it the "most transparent" of all the intern genital humidor training programs and "more transparent" than anything in the Obola regime. He noted that it has been criticized for accepting money from foreign governments for the interns he's trained in genital humidoritry.

Asked about his role if Hillary Clinton is convicted and thrown in jail, Bill Clinton said he would "have to assess what she wants me to do" but "it'll be a heckuva lot easier for me to recruit interns with her in the can."

When Hillary Clinton became Obola's suckcretary of state in 2009, the foundation agreed to stop raising money from foreign governments for intern genital humidor training and export, but the WashPoo swept all of it under the rug while she was in the Obola regime. In one case, the foundation said it should have sought approval from Mothers Against Bill Clinton Interning Their Daughters As Genital Humidors, but bought them off with a $500,000 contribution from the Algerian government to assist with intern restocking in Bill's Bar, Cat House 'n Grill in Little Rock.

Bill Clinton said they haven't discussed any changes to how the foundation would function "because we're running out of lamps for Hillary to smash, so I don't think we should. We can't afford any new lamps and still leave me money to recruit 20 something interns. It's hard for me to party and hang onto all these babe interns for 12 years. A thousand things could happen. I'm hoping it's at least a thousand, because I'll have most of them related in my memoirs."  


Seymour probably just put himself in the bullseye of Hillary's Super Volunteers....y'know, the ones with the seven phrases you can never say about Hillary in public....

Dumbed Down Scamming

It would appear that my next scammer here -- identified only as "Mohamed" -- is a victim of common core education.

I refer to it as "commie core".

Read his gambit and wince if he is educated in a US public school:

Dear Frend,

How are you today,I am here to inform you about my success in getting those funds transfarred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguaey though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy God decided the whole situatons. Presently i'm in Chine for invest projects with my own share of the total sum.


Meanwhile,i didn't forgot your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transfarring those funds despit that it failed us some how.I have concluded to effect your payment through WESTERN UNION  sent you USD 5,000 dollars through WESTERN UNION 5,000 USD  daly until the total amount of the USD$900.000.00 USD is complete. as I have been given your full comensation payment total sum of USD $900.000.00 USD.


Via WESTERN UNION information to pick up your frist Transfar.


MTCN: 578_544--#### Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats number

Sender's Name: Alph Nke
Text Question :When
Answer:Immediate
Amount:USD 5,000 USD


Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats MTCN number to you, below is there address ( wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com ) You have to send to him your address to enable him register your payment online with your information for you to start receiving your daily payment from WESTERN UNION agent over there in your city and country,send your cell phone number in your reply to then.

Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  

I wonder how Mohammineggs will do with an edit that mixes commie and uncommie core?  Let's see:

Fritter,

allah ackphooey.  I am here which is not where you is here because you is there and these are two places separated by a fecal load of real and unreal estate, water and other geographic influences I not learn in school.  Where is I is is to inform you about my learning from Bill Clinton that is has more definitions than I knowd.  He also teached me about genital humidors.  Before this I not have a sense of humidor.  Now I do.

 

But that not why I writ.  I wish inform you of my success in selling a Yugo at blue book plus 25% to a goat herder in Detroit, who believe me when I tell him that this is same Yugo drived by Tito in 1974 to the oprah in Belgrade.  You know, the capital of Yugo.  It is located on a compass to the north and east of the country of paraffin, a country in South American, somewhere.  Though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy gourd decided what is a whole, where is a hole, who is a hole, and what they had stuffed up the hole in this and all situations.

 

Presently i'm in Chino, Kaliforlornia, for a conference on how commie core edewecashun is the best thing since seeing Hillary in a thong.  

Even after hassing my eyes gouged out, I cannot escape that image.  I tried with whales, wildebeests and a valley stuffed with stinking Occupy village idiots.

Meanwhile,i didn't forget your muffins you ordered three months ago.  But when I mixed them with pancakes on a roof, aliens that aren't supposed to wear purple hats came and took them all, sending AlGore 76 million years in the past to help dinosaurs stop man-bear-pig from global warning.  He make mistake and take a moochelle school lunch with him since kids won't eat them.  I doubt dinosaurs will either.

 He says to retrieve him Via WESTERN UNION next week.

MTCN: 578_544--####.  You has to guess the last four numbers.  They are Roman numeral, so you have to figure out where they wandered off to.

Sender's Name: Alf (an alien sock puppet that not wear purple hats but do eat pancakes)
Text Question :  When retrieve AlGore
Answer:  when Debbil Washingmachine Snitz flies on broom to DNC to perform proctology exam on Barry Soetero Obola
Amount of cost:  one asshole and seven pencils equal to Marie Harf's fractional IQ in ewephonics

Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony and Tell him the mosque is an outhouse in Burundi.  This is code for "a t-rex is chasing AlGore and mebbe you ought to bring.....uh....oh....never mind...t-rex faster".  Of course the Pasture will understand all when you email him at  wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com  and tell him that Sandra Fluke is really Josh Earnest in drag.  You will of course have to send to him your first dozen mismatched socks from the laundry, a missing Lerner email and the first time you had sex with a mannequin that looks like Nancy Pelosi when you blew a .325 on a breathalyzer, since everyone knows you had to be that drunk to try it. 

I think that's about had it.   Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  


While I got no reply from ol' Mohamed or his pasture, I'm sure I made the enemies list of the DNC  ;-)

Note To HRC's Super Volunteer Censors

Just so's y'all don't think I'm all sexist all the time.

Though in Obola's case, who knows?  Lots of reasons he probably spent millions to seal his records.  Like any good "most transparent" liar in history.

Uh huh.

Anyway, since I had some fun with hrc's Super Volunteers who live to get their panties in a wad over certain words and phrases being used in conjunction with their worst possible heroine for 2016, I should prove that I am all about level playing fields, and have some fun with the current worst fauxtus in history.

And this picture was a good starting point.  For Barry, it's all down hill from h'yar.

When South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson called Obola a liar, he was doing the job that the lamestream servile mediocres wouldn't do....calling Obola as he is.

The left's efforts to undermine education and create dumbed down, low information dependents is all that's holding this imbecile up.

No fauxtus has been more divisive than Obola.

Obola tantrums are SOP.

His foreign policy -- and those he picks to help clusterf**k it -- is and are a joke around the world.

From re-sets to abject ridiculous, that be Obola's foreign policy legacy.

The Three Political Stooges, with a host of lesser lights in cameo roles.

"If you like your plan you can keep your plan".  "If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor".
*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

The Narcissist 'n Thief has no reservoir of self responsibility he has to worry about.

His hypocrisy and self-absorbed arrogance is legendary.

He'll sell out Israel to appease Iran and consider it historic.

The lamestream servile mediocres wet themselves to jump in bed with him, and wonder why their ratings, integrity and credibility are in the crapper.

He floods the country with illegals, criminals, terrorists...and treats allies and our own military with contempt.

#HandsUpDon'tShootWasALeftistLie.  And Obola knew it.

And he has such a lowlife collection of abject jackasses to spread his brand of garbage.  Like spokesidiots who think they know how to nuance...

And do they ever nuance in ever increasing abject stupidity.

Oh yes, Obola is respected overseas alright...

And his circle of friends is just as respectable...

Yes, Obola has certainly brought down the prestige and respect for the office he's soiling daily.  Of course, we know he's okay with that.

But worry not, O American taxpaying serfs, for this too shall pass in 2017.  Unless there are enough low information, dumbed down, illegal voters working in conjunction with the lamestream servile mediocres for the democrap version of an Obola re-set:

Okay, so I let a little sexist in at the end....are you keeping an eye on this, Super Volunteers?


















 

Whole Lotto FBI Going On

Well...my scambaiting characters have heard from the DC-based FBI.  From the Nigeria-based FBI.  From the Benin-based FBI.  Perhaps even from the Uranus-based FBI.

Now we've heard from the UK-based FBI:


Camelot UK Lotteries Limited

The National Lottery

PO Box 251

Watford ,WD18 9BR

United Kingdom

Registered office: Tolpits Lane, Watford, Herts WD18 9RN

Registered in England and Wales No. 2822203

(Customer Services)

Ref: UK/9420X2/68

Batch: 074/09/ZY369 

 

VERIFICATION OF LOTTERY CLAIM 

All protocols observed. Please accept my apologies for my late response. My Name is Deabreu Gregory John. I work with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). I am a contract staff currently attached to the Verification department of the Camelot Group of the Online National Lottery. This is in view of checking false winning claims and Lottery Scams. Every claimant shall be verified by the FBI and winners must be duly paid. False claimants shall also be duly punished. I received an application letter sent by your Fiduciary agent, Miss. Ann Song for the Claim of your Lottery Winnings. The application is to be verified by the National Lottery. Note that all taxes have been paid by the National Lottery. Please read the extract of our terms and conditions below. 

·  In the event that the Company, in its absolute discretion, believes that the Claimant is not lawfully entitled to payment of a Prize or that a Prize has been paid to a Player (including, without limitation, by payment into a Players Account in circumstances where the Company decides, in accordance with Rule 5(D)(3) that the Claimed Play is invalid or defective, it shall be entitled to withhold payment of the Prize or recover or seek to recover a Prize already paid (including, without limitation, where such payment has been made into a Players Account) pending the outcome of all appropriate inquiries. Once the appropriate verifications and inquiries have satisfied the Company, in its absolute discretion, that the Claimant is lawfully entitled to payment of the relevant Prize, it shall credit the amount of such Prize to the Players Account.

· The Player is responsible, where applicable, for claiming a Prize and the protection of the Identification Information that enables the payment of a Prize.

· The Company shall not be responsible or liable to any person claiming a Prize which has been paid to a person who assumed the identity of the holder of the relevant Account and who obtained sufficient information about them to impersonate the rightful holder of that Account. 

 

 

According to the application submitted by Mr Stephen Alex Williams on your behalf, your claim states your winning details as follows

 

Ref: UK/9420X2/68

Batch: 074/06/ZY369

Draw Number: 1999

Draw Date: Saturday, 21st February, 2015

Ticket Number: 56475600545 188

Serial Number: 5627635368/10

Lucky Number: 13 14 16 24 41 43 (bonus no. 39) 

Amount Won:  Ј4,894,600 (Four Million eight hundred and ninety-four thousand, six hundred British Pounds Sterling).

 

Please note that this is an online bonus promotion. Your email address was extracted by our computer from one of our advertising websites. We have over 3,000 advertising websites. You did not purchase a ticket. The Ticket was purchased for you by the online department of the National Lottery using your email address. Your email address was attached to ticket number 56475600545 188 On Saturday, 21st February, 2015, six ball sets were used and after the bonus draws, your email address attached to the above ticket number matched the numbers Ј4,894,600 (Four Million eight hundred and ninety-four thousand, six hundred British Pounds Sterling)). According to the current conversion rate, this amount in the United States Dollars is $7,306,515 (Seven Million, three hundred and six thousand, five hundred and fifteen United States Dollars only). 

 

You were contacted via email as no other contact of yours was in our system as at the time of the draw. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in England as indicated in your play coupon. 

You are required to: 

1. Acknowledge the receipt of this email and confirmation of your claim stated above.

2. Reconfirm your full names and address as this would be used for your payment. 

 

Please allow 24-48 working hours to verify your claim. 

Be  further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent claims. This is part ofour precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. 

 

Deabreu Gregory John

THE NATIONAL LOTTERY,

CAMELOT GROUP,

VERIFICATION AND PROCESSING DEPARTMENT,

UNITED KINGDOM.  

 

 

I guess that with the proliferation of scam online lottos in the UK, the FBI feels it necessary to, uh, lend a hand or other idle appendage.

 

Well, this particular branch of the *FBI* discovered how edits work:

 

 

Cameltwot UK Exams Limited

The National Potty

PO Box 251

Watford ,WD18 9BR

United Kingdom

Registered office: Tolpits Lane, Watford, Herts WD18 9RN

Registered in England and Wales No. 2822203

(Customer Services)

Ref: UK/9420X2/68

Batch: 074/09/ZY369

 

 

VERIFICATION OF POTTY CLAIM 

All protocols observed and we now know that you're a bed wetter.  Allow me to tell you how we know that:  my Name is Deabreu Gregory John. I work with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Special Bed Wetting Crimes Unit (SBWCU).  I am a contract staph and strep currently attached to the Genital Verification department of the Cameltwot Group of the Online National Potty. This is in view of checking false bed wetting claims and potty Scams. Every claimant shall be verified by the FBI using our specially made drones the hone in on bed wetters. False claimants shall also be duly punished, and we have the complete lie-brary of every speech Debbil Washingmachine Snitz ever gave, that you'll be forced to sit through, non-stop.  Perhaps you'll excuse the pun, but it doesn't pay to piss off the FBI's Special Bed Wetting Crimes Unit (SBWCU).  I received a report from one of our rogue drones that you are a bed wetter.  It has been verified in the National Potty database. Please read the extract of our terms and conditions below. 

 

·  In the event that the Company, in its absolute discretion, believes that the Claimant is not lawfully entitled to comwetsation for bed wetting, in accordance with Rule 5(D)(3) that the Claimed wetting is invalid or defective, it shall be entitled to withhold replacement bedding or recover or seek to recover a claim of wettage already filed pending the outcome of all appropriate inquiries. Once the appropriate verifications and inquiries have satisfied the Company, in its absolute discretion, that the Claimant is lawfully entitled to what the Company considers fair and just comwetsation for wetting your bed, it shall credit the Claimant accordingly in the national bed wetting database.

· The Wetter is responsible, where applicable, for replacing their own mattress and the protection of the Identification Information that enables the wetter to be kept confidential.

· The Company shall not be responsible or liable to any person claiming to be a bed wetter when all they do is defecate there.  That falls to the FBI's Special Bed Crapper Crimes Unit (SBCCU). 

We expect shows on both units in primetime in the fall of 2015. 

 

According to the application submitted by Mr Stephen Alex Williams on your behalf -- he controlled the drone that detected your wattage -- your claim states your wetting details as follows

 

Ref: UK/9420X2/68

Batch: Urine sample #074/06/ZY369

Batch Number: 1999

Wetting Date: Saturday, 21st February, 2015

Analysis:  Yup..you pissed yourself

Serial Number of Analysis Sample: 5627635368/10

Amount Wetted:  a quart and a half

 

Please note that this is an online bogus promotion. Your email address was extracted by our urine-drenched computer from one of our drone analyzing wetsites. We have over 3,000 drone analyzing wetsites. You did not purchase adult Pampers prior to the episode.  Why didn't you just "go" before going to bed, you nipplehead? 

 

You were contacted via email as no other contact of yours was in our system as at the time of the draw, and none of us wants particularly to knock on your piss-soaked door. Please note that your wetting falls within our European booklet representative office in England as indicated in the dampness collected by our drone. 

 

You are required to:  

1. Acknowledge the receipt of this email and confirmation of your claim stated above.

2. Reconfirm your full names and address as this would be used for arranging for you to be dried off before the next beddie bye tsunami. 

 

Please allow 24-48 working hours for us to sandbag around your bed.  

Be  further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent bed wetting claims. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this bed wetters program.  

 

Deabreu Gregory John

THE NATIONAL POTTY,

CAMELTWOT GROUP,

VERIFICATION AND PROCESSING DEPARTMENT,

UNITED KINGDOM.

"Crikey, use the bloody dunny next time!"

debreaujgregory@thefbi.co.uk

"If we can handle Buckingham Palace bedwetters, you KNOW we can do a whacking great job on YOU!"  

The silence that ensued in the wake of this edited and returned response suggests that they're having to consult the 'home office' to find out where the bed wetting drones are located...

Seymour Picks On Dear Leader Some More

No, my pet rock Seymour isn't talking about THIS buffoon.

Seymour has a thing for the leader of North Korea.  It's apparently a pet rock thing.  But when Seymour hears anything of the Pudgester in the news, he dons his 'pet rock gone edit wild' hat and goes to work.

Like for example, when North Korea did its latest round of nerf saber rattling:

North Korean envoy says his country has painful rectal itch with side of egg rolls

LONDON (SPNE*) — A North Korean envoy says his country has developed painful rectal itch and is prepared to use it at any time.

North Korean Ambassador to the UK Hyun Hork Bong said in a recent interview with a drunk Iranian broadcaster Achmed Al Hawgwarts that his government would use the painful rectal itch in response to a failure by the United States to get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make that Team America World Police sequel movie with dear leader Kim Jong Un in a starring role.

Asked whether North Korea has the ability now to spread painful rectal itch at will, Hyun replied, "Any time. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. During a brue right special at Target. Any time. Yes."
"If the United States fail to get Parker and Stone to make sequel movie, we should strike" he said.
Asked if North Korea would only unleash painful rectal itch in retaliation, Hyun replied, "Our people are peace-roving when we tell them to be. Dear Reader on the other hand is an asshole. We are not afraid of unreashing the dogs of painful rectal itch. This is our poricy ever since Dear Reader get crappy haircut."

North Korea is thought to have a handful of crude painful rectal itch bombs and has conducted three tests since 2006, causing outbreaks of painful rectal itch in Wonsan. But experts are divided on how far it has come in developing the technology needed to adopt a delivery system capable of delivering painful rectal itch beyond the borders of North Korea.

The Washington-based Institute for Science and International Security recently estimated that North Korea currently has between 10 and 16 senior military leaders who could be negated with one industrial magnet. It concluded that North Korea already has a painful rectal itch projectile small enough to mount on a medium range or microwave oven.

The United Nations – on the rare occasion it does something that makes any sense at all – has imposed sanctions on North Korea over its painful rectal itch weapon programs.

Hyun's comments only managed to breathe hard as rival South Korea and the United States conduct annual springtime Preparation H drills that North Korea says are aimed at preparing to mess up its painful rectal itch weapon program. Seoul and Washington say “Duh, no sh**!”
         
The U.S. So far refuses to require Parker and Stone to make the Team America World Police sequel starring “a dubious leader with a lousy haircut, even with a side of egg rolls” the State Department says.

* Seymour Petrock News Edits  


Since readers from China have stopped showing up on my blog's "page view" stats, I reckon my pet rock has not endeared hisself to them, either.

No egg rolls for you, Seymour.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!".

Fed Reserve Or Fed Up?

 Another day, another Obola nose growth.

SOP.

But this is about a scam email I got from one of Obola's minions...Janet Yellen, head of the Federal Reserve.

Well...that's what it claims to be.

Of course it ain't...just another sleazebag scammer.

Probably one that voted for Pinocchio.

Here's how it starts:


FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF NEW YORK
33 LIBERTY STREET NEW YORK, NY 10045. USA.
NOTIFICATION OF CREDIT FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NEW YORK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that Series of meetings have
been held over the past (1) Month now with the Secretary General of
the United Nations Organization United State of America, which ended
last week It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is
now in the amount of $11,000,000.00 USD (Eleven Million United States
Dollars) as a compensation award to you, due to past corrupt
Governmental Officials who almost held your fund to themselves for
their selfish reasons and some individuals who have taken advantage of
your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to
unnecessary delay in the receipt and so many losses from your end.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations
and Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you who have
been found not to have received their Compensation Awards.

Now, how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two
Method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you
will use to withdraw up to $5000.00 USD (Five Thousand Dollars) per
day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the
card have to be renewed in 3 years time which is 2016. Also with the
ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank
account. Even if you do not have a bank account, the ATM card comes
with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it.

Check: A cashier check will be issued in your name and you will
deposit it in your Bank for it to be cleared within three working
days.

Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option
above and would be mailed to you via UPS, because we have signed a
contract with UPS which should expire on (17TH) of April. 2015, You
will only need to pay $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars). So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).  


And you've got to love how I ended it with the Commie Core math the left has designed.  Paying $350 instead of $550 is a $300 savings.

*DUMBED DOWN ALERT*

This one didn't cry out for an edit; it fairly shrieked for one, so forth I went, making sure to roll references to Mad Madness, Hilarity, the substandard DNC and other assorted angles into the mix:

FEDUP RESERVE BLANK OF NEW YAWHK
33 LIBEL STREET NEW YAWHK, NY 10045. USA.

MORTIFICATION OF CRUDIT FROM BANK FEDUP RESERVE BOARD NEW YAWHK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that a series of meetings have
been held over the past how many ever years of human existence, and

not one of them managed a perfect bracket in the Yahoo March Madness

Bracket Challenge.  So what the fuck good were they?

Secretary General of the United Nations Organization -- a "tits on a boar"

sort named Ban Mai Moon -- determined that if only 4% of the betting

population would have picked UAB over Iowa State, a perfect bracket

was more likely than anyone in the Obola regime telling the truth.

Due to current corrupt Governmental Officials who couldn't pick an

NCAA bracket from an old The Gong Show episode on Knuckleheadodian

TV, the current tournament has been declared null and void, and this

year's winner has been declared to be William & Mary.  How this could

be done was as easy as Hillary losing 30,000 emails.  Perhaps even

easier.

The National Central Bureau of Bracket Pickism enhanced by the United Nations
and Fedup Bureau of Inbloviation have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all brackets that had Kentucky winning the tournament,

and awarded these games to William & Mary.  Which heretofore shall be knowd

and Mary & William, to make up for years of gendrification, sexualcation and

a host of other cations that can be filled in at ones' leisure.

Now, if you were in the running despite not having picked UAB over Iowa St.,

and this declaration has now totally screwed your pooch, worry not:  we intend

to screw your other pets, too.

And in order to defray our costs associated with this hijacking of a Las

Vegas cash cow, it will only cost you $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars) that Obola wanted you to pay. So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).

Yes, we used Commie Core math on that, because aliens don't wear purple hats when trading

apples, pencils and pancakes.

Take note that you will have to stop communication with every other
person if you have been in contact with any. Nor may you continue

communication with wombats, platypus or talking Barbie dildos.

Also remember that the only difference between Debbil Washingmachine

Snitz and a pig is the spelling.

Note: Everything has been taken care of...Hillary is erasing your emails

too.  

Note that you have been advice to urgently proceed to the corner of

Western Union and Money Gram and told to meet up with our covert

agent to see to all the modalities and other sordid shit associated with

anything done by democraps.  

Contact's Name: Mr. David Wing Wang Wong Wong Wong
Address: 155 Anal Canal Street New Yawhk, NY 10003
AMOUNT TO SEND $350.00 DOLLARS ONLY in uninflated

dildos disguised as cucumbers.

Kindly get back to us as well with all the phone numbers of virgins

you might know who have never heard of Bill Clinton and like the

idea of being an intern genital humidor.

Your amended brackets with Mary & William as winner will be sent to

you via Nancy Pelosi's Flying Broom Service within 2 working days upon
confirmation that none of this email is in the hands of Trey Gowdy.

We are so sure of everything that's misreported by msnbc that we are

we are giving you a 100% Guarantee that you will get nothing good out

of this.  

Email Hillary immediately because it takes her time to get rid of incriminations.

Note That Because Of fraud and impostors in the DNC, We Hereby Issued

You Our Code Of Misconduct, Which Is (WTF-2015) So You Have To Indicate This Code
When replying back to us  By Using It As Your Subject.

Thanks for getting bent over by the Democrap National Crimeity while we looking
forward to serving ourselves gooder at your expense.  Marie Harf is working on

nuancing that so you can't understand it. 

 

Mrs. Janet Yellen

Janet Smellin' Yellen
Director Fedup Reserve Blank New Yawhk,
Fedup Reserve Broad helps undermine strong communities
by creating messes like Deadtroit, Benghazi, Yemen, et al.  

Much as I appreciate bad math and a worse email from the Fed, I reckon they didn't appreciate the response h'yar...