Thursday, April 16, 2015

Dumbed Down Scamming

It would appear that my next scammer here -- identified only as "Mohamed" -- is a victim of common core education.

I refer to it as "commie core".

Read his gambit and wince if he is educated in a US public school:


Dear Frend,

How are you today,I am here to inform you about my success in getting those funds transfarred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguaey though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy God decided the whole situatons. Presently i'm in Chine for invest projects with my own share of the total sum.


Meanwhile,i didn't forgot your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transfarring those funds despit that it failed us some how.I have concluded to effect your payment through WESTERN UNION  sent you USD 5,000 dollars through WESTERN UNION 5,000 USD  daly until the total amount of the USD$900.000.00 USD is complete. as I have been given your full comensation payment total sum of USD $900.000.00 USD.


Via WESTERN UNION information to pick up your frist Transfar.


MTCN: 578_544--#### Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats number

Sender's Name: Alph Nke
Text Question :When
Answer:Immediate
Amount:USD 5,000 USD


Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats MTCN number to you, below is there address ( wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com ) You have to send to him your address to enable him register your payment online with your information for you to start receiving your daily payment from WESTERN UNION agent over there in your city and country,send your cell phone number in your reply to then.

Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  


I wonder how Mohammineggs will do with an edit that mixes commie and uncommie core?  Let's see:


Fritter,

allah ackphooey.  I am here which is not where you is here because you is there and these are two places separated by a fecal load of real and unreal estate, water and other geographic influences I not learn in school.  Where is I is is to inform you about my learning from Bill Clinton that is has more definitions than I knowd.  He also teached me about genital humidors.  Before this I not have a sense of humidor.  Now I do.
 
But that not why I writ.  I wish inform you of my success in selling a Yugo at blue book plus 25% to a goat herder in Detroit, who believe me when I tell him that this is same Yugo drived by Tito in 1974 to the oprah in Belgrade.  You know, the capital of Yugo.  It is located on a compass to the north and east of the country of paraffin, a country in South American, somewhere.  Though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy gourd decided what is a whole, where is a hole, who is a hole, and what they had stuffed up the hole in this and all situations.
 
Presently i'm in Chino, Kaliforlornia, for a conference on how commie core edewecashun is the best thing since seeing Hillary in a thong.  

Even after hassing my eyes gouged out, I cannot escape that image.  I tried with whales, wildebeests and a valley stuffed with stinking Occupy village idiots.

Meanwhile,i didn't forget your muffins you ordered three months ago.  But when I mixed them with pancakes on a roof, aliens that aren't supposed to wear purple hats came and took them all, sending AlGore 76 million years in the past to help dinosaurs stop man-bear-pig from global warning.  He make mistake and take a moochelle school lunch with him since kids won't eat them.  I doubt dinosaurs will either.

 He says to retrieve him Via WESTERN UNION next week.

MTCN: 578_544--####.  You has to guess the last four numbers.  They are Roman numeral, so you have to figure out where they wandered off to.

Sender's Name: Alf (an alien sock puppet that not wear purple hats but do eat pancakes)
Text Question :  When retrieve AlGore
Answer:  when Debbil Washingmachine Snitz flies on broom to DNC to perform proctology exam on Barry Soetero Obola
Amount of cost:  one asshole and seven pencils equal to Marie Harf's fractional IQ in ewephonics

Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony and Tell him the mosque is an outhouse in Burundi.  This is code for "a t-rex is chasing AlGore and mebbe you ought to bring.....uh....oh....never mind...t-rex faster".  Of course the Pasture will understand all when you email him at 
wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com  and tell him that Sandra Fluke is really Josh Earnest in drag.  You will of course have to send to him your first dozen mismatched socks from the laundry, a missing Lerner email and the first time you had sex with a mannequin that looks like Nancy Pelosi when you blew a .325 on a breathalyzer, since everyone knows you had to be that drunk to try it. 


I think that's about had it.   Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  



While I got no reply from ol' Mohamed or his pasture, I'm sure I made the enemies list of the DNC  ;-)






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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

What a rewrite indeed. Love how you twist this all out of shape.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My best to Seymour. ☺

16 April, 2015 09:47  

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