Saturday, April 4, 2015

Fed Reserve Or Fed Up?


 Another day, another Obola nose growth.

SOP.

But this is about a scam email I got from one of Obola's minions...Janet Yellen, head of the Federal Reserve.

Well...that's what it claims to be.

Of course it ain't...just another sleazebag scammer.

Probably one that voted for Pinocchio.

Here's how it starts:


FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF NEW YORK
33 LIBERTY STREET NEW YORK, NY 10045. USA.
NOTIFICATION OF CREDIT FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NEW YORK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that Series of meetings have
been held over the past (1) Month now with the Secretary General of
the United Nations Organization United State of America, which ended
last week It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is
now in the amount of $11,000,000.00 USD (Eleven Million United States
Dollars) as a compensation award to you, due to past corrupt
Governmental Officials who almost held your fund to themselves for
their selfish reasons and some individuals who have taken advantage of
your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to
unnecessary delay in the receipt and so many losses from your end.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations
and Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you who have
been found not to have received their Compensation Awards.

Now, how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two
Method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you
will use to withdraw up to $5000.00 USD (Five Thousand Dollars) per
day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the
card have to be renewed in 3 years time which is 2016. Also with the
ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank
account. Even if you do not have a bank account, the ATM card comes
with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it.

Check: A cashier check will be issued in your name and you will
deposit it in your Bank for it to be cleared within three working
days.

Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option
above and would be mailed to you via UPS, because we have signed a
contract with UPS which should expire on (17TH) of April. 2015, You
will only need to pay $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars). So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).  



And you've got to love how I ended it with the Commie Core math the left has designed.  Paying $350 instead of $550 is a $300 savings.

*DUMBED DOWN ALERT*

This one didn't cry out for an edit; it fairly shrieked for one, so forth I went, making sure to roll references to Mad Madness, Hilarity, the substandard DNC and other assorted angles into the mix:


FEDUP RESERVE BLANK OF NEW YAWHK
33 LIBEL STREET NEW YAWHK, NY 10045. USA.

MORTIFICATION OF CRUDIT FROM BANK FEDUP RESERVE BOARD NEW YAWHK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that a series of meetings have
been held over the past how many ever years of human existence, and
not one of them managed a perfect bracket in the Yahoo March Madness
Bracket Challenge.  So what the fuck good were they?

Secretary General of the United Nations Organization -- a "tits on a boar"
sort named Ban Mai Moon -- determined that if only 4% of the betting
population would have picked UAB over Iowa State, a perfect bracket
was more likely than anyone in the Obola regime telling the truth.

Due to current corrupt Governmental Officials who couldn't pick an
NCAA bracket from an old The Gong Show episode on Knuckleheadodian
TV, the current tournament has been declared null and void, and this
year's winner has been declared to be William & Mary.  How this could
be done was as easy as Hillary losing 30,000 emails.  Perhaps even
easier.

The National Central Bureau of Bracket Pickism enhanced by the United Nations
and Fedup Bureau of Inbloviation have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all brackets that had Kentucky winning the tournament,
and awarded these games to William & Mary.  Which heretofore shall be knowd
and Mary & William, to make up for years of gendrification, sexualcation and
a host of other cations that can be filled in at ones' leisure.

Now, if you were in the running despite not having picked UAB over Iowa St.,
and this declaration has now totally screwed your pooch, worry not:  we intend
to screw your other pets, too.

And in order to defray our costs associated with this hijacking of a Las
Vegas cash cow, it will only cost you $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars) that Obola wanted you to pay. So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).

Yes, we used Commie Core math on that, because aliens don't wear purple hats when trading
apples, pencils and pancakes.

Take note that you will have to stop communication with every other
person if you have been in contact with any. Nor may you continue
communication with wombats, platypus or talking Barbie dildos.
Also remember that the only difference between Debbil Washingmachine
Snitz and a pig is the spelling.

Note: Everything has been taken care of...Hillary is erasing your emails
too.  

Note that you have been advice to urgently proceed to the corner of
Western Union and Money Gram and told to meet up with our covert
agent to see to all the modalities and other sordid shit associated with
anything done by democraps.  

Contact's Name: Mr. David Wing Wang Wong Wong Wong
Address: 155 Anal Canal Street New Yawhk, NY 10003
AMOUNT TO SEND $350.00 DOLLARS ONLY in uninflated
dildos disguised as cucumbers.

Kindly get back to us as well with all the phone numbers of virgins
you might know who have never heard of Bill Clinton and like the
idea of being an intern genital humidor.

Your amended brackets with Mary & William as winner will be sent to
you via Nancy Pelosi's Flying Broom Service within 2 working days upon
confirmation that none of this email is in the hands of Trey Gowdy.
We are so sure of everything that's misreported by msnbc that we are
we are giving you a 100% Guarantee that you will get nothing good out
of this.  

Email Hillary immediately because it takes her time to get rid of incriminations.

Note That Because Of fraud and impostors in the DNC, We Hereby Issued
You Our Code Of Misconduct, Which Is (WTF-2015) So You Have To Indicate This Code
When replying back to us  By Using It As Your Subject.

Thanks for getting bent over by the Democrap National Crimeity while we looking
forward to serving ourselves gooder at your expense.  Marie Harf is working on
nuancing that so you can't understand it. 


Much as I appreciate bad math and a worse email from the Fed, I reckon they didn't appreciate the response h'yar...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

I'm sure they didn't appreciate your rewrite. Yours is way better and far more honest.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour wherever he is. :)

04 April, 2015 11:07  

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