Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Seymour Picks On Dear Leader Some More

No, my pet rock Seymour isn't talking about THIS buffoon.

Seymour has a thing for the leader of North Korea.  It's apparently a pet rock thing.  But when Seymour hears anything of the Pudgester in the news, he dons his 'pet rock gone edit wild' hat and goes to work.

Like for example, when North Korea did its latest round of nerf saber rattling:

North Korean envoy says his country has painful rectal itch with side of egg rolls

LONDON (SPNE*) — A North Korean envoy says his country has developed painful rectal itch and is prepared to use it at any time.

North Korean Ambassador to the UK Hyun Hork Bong said in a recent interview with a drunk Iranian broadcaster Achmed Al Hawgwarts that his government would use the painful rectal itch in response to a failure by the United States to get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make that Team America World Police sequel movie with dear leader Kim Jong Un in a starring role.

Asked whether North Korea has the ability now to spread painful rectal itch at will, Hyun replied, "Any time. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. During a brue right special at Target. Any time. Yes."
"If the United States fail to get Parker and Stone to make sequel movie, we should strike" he said.
Asked if North Korea would only unleash painful rectal itch in retaliation, Hyun replied, "Our people are peace-roving when we tell them to be. Dear Reader on the other hand is an asshole. We are not afraid of unreashing the dogs of painful rectal itch. This is our poricy ever since Dear Reader get crappy haircut."

North Korea is thought to have a handful of crude painful rectal itch bombs and has conducted three tests since 2006, causing outbreaks of painful rectal itch in Wonsan. But experts are divided on how far it has come in developing the technology needed to adopt a delivery system capable of delivering painful rectal itch beyond the borders of North Korea.

The Washington-based Institute for Science and International Security recently estimated that North Korea currently has between 10 and 16 senior military leaders who could be negated with one industrial magnet. It concluded that North Korea already has a painful rectal itch projectile small enough to mount on a medium range or microwave oven.

The United Nations – on the rare occasion it does something that makes any sense at all – has imposed sanctions on North Korea over its painful rectal itch weapon programs.

Hyun's comments only managed to breathe hard as rival South Korea and the United States conduct annual springtime Preparation H drills that North Korea says are aimed at preparing to mess up its painful rectal itch weapon program. Seoul and Washington say “Duh, no sh**!”
The U.S. So far refuses to require Parker and Stone to make the Team America World Police sequel starring “a dubious leader with a lousy haircut, even with a side of egg rolls” the State Department says.

* Seymour Petrock News Edits  

Since readers from China have stopped showing up on my blog's "page view" stats, I reckon my pet rock has not endeared hisself to them, either.

No egg rolls for you, Seymour.


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Blogger Sandee said...

That dog is scary, not as scary is Kim Jong Un, but pretty close.

Great job Seymour. My best to your peep. ☺

07 April, 2015 08:02  

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