ET Needs To Learn Crummy Core BEFORE Phoning Home

If there's anything about science that is settled, it's that Hank Johnson's fear of Guam tipping over is hellary meadow muffins.

Like the rest of science that the demoncraps consider to be 'settled' and is anything but.

Soon as democrap edubrats go out and create a new "standard" for mathematics and other things called Crummy Core -- and try to force feed it to the American education system -- science finds cause to regret the change.

Mathematical radio signals from deep space.  Signals that may not be from quasars, stars or other sources of cosmic noise.

Mathematical radio signals that might just be from....ET.

While this graphic might explain why ET has a long neck, it fails to explain what ET is mathematically telling us...if it's him.

Because he's not broadcasting in Crummy Core format.

Here's what scientists have to say about this current investigation, as told to you by Seymour PetRock:

Strange bursts of audio waves from Marie Barf have a pattern that can't be explained by known phenomenon.If aliens try to contact us with mathematical radio waves from deep space, it better use Crummy Core methods or it will baffle scientists.

By Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS

Are we being contacted by ET?

 

Astronomers and scientists aren't sure, because the mathematical communications coming in as deep space radio waves are not using Crummy Core formulas.  But they suspect that the waves could be being produced by some kind of technology – alien technology.

 

BUT...our current inability to decipher them is the problem.

Why can't our finest scientists and most advanced computers determine a reasonable answer?  The signals being received from whomever or whatever is sending them, is not sending them in the required Crummy Core format. And today's leftist controlled dumbed down edubrats find this rather mind-blowing, if not downright frightening.  'Cuz they're not controlling it.

Fart radio bursts

The signals have been given a name: fart radio bursts, or FRBs. They last just a few milliseconds to several seconds, and when audiblized, sound just like a whoopie cushion.

 
But it isn't the sound of the bursts that upsets scientists; it's the fact that whatever or whoever is sending these mathematical radio waves out, is NOT adhering to Crummy Core substandards. And that makes them unfathomable to Crummy Core adherents. Scientists also can't agree on the settled science of whether or not aliens have genitals; but they seem to agree that the signals come from very far away, possibly another galaxy entirely.

Or at least as far away as prankster hackers in Liechtenstein.

All of the bursts detected so far have dispersion measures that, when played for cows packed in an elevator, trigger reactions similar to humans in a packed elevator when someone farts. That's the mathematical regularity that is hard to shake off, even if the source is ignorant of the need to use Crummy Core substandards to communicate with Earth.

"If the pattern of mathematical farts is real, it is very, very hard to explain until or unless the originating source adopts Crummy Core formulas," said John Unlearned, an Occutard at the University of Hawaii in Manoa who once analyzed pickled pigs feet and found the face of Debbie Wasserpuss Schultz in one.

Other possibilities

There are a few known cosmic objects capable of reflecting back to Earth old radio and video signals radiated from Earth since both technologies came into being. That would explain why an observatory in Australia began receiving images of The Gong Show from the Andromeda Galaxy in 2005.
 
It's also possible that the signals are coming from something human, such as a hoax being perpetrated by the South Park creators, for use in a future episode. Since the bastards no longer kill Kenny for the most part, they needed a new schtick, and deep space is a great place to get one from, especially if it's the deep space between Cartman's ears.
 
Human sources can be difficult to rule out, when and if certain forms alleged to be human can be conclusively proved to be, which is not possible so far with Hellary Clinton.

The E.T. theory

If the radio bursts do turn out to be beacons from extraterrestrials, which is a possibility that can't be ruled out, then there are some exciting but scary scenarios to consider. The one from “Mars Attacks!” is one. In other words, any face-to-face encounter with an alien civilization may not end well for us, if they turn out to be assholes like the Syrian *refugees*.

Ultimately, scientists will need to send more Crummy Core training manuals out into very deep space so that alien contacts will know how they can't expect to effectively communicate with us, especially attempting to use abject crap like Crummy Core.

 
"There is something really interesting we need to understand: purple waffle hatted aliens that don't communicate in Crummy Core. This will be like trying to explain to Hank Johnson why Guam isn't likely to tip over," said Jen Psuki of the Instipoot for Subspace Radio Data Fart Analysis in Neukirchen-Vluyn, Germany. "When you set out to search for something new you might find one of your missing socks or something."   

I think my pet rock needs to take another road trip....

*Pet rock TOING*..."Hell YES!!!"

 

Dumbed Down Scamming

It would appear that my next scammer here -- identified only as "Mohamed" -- is a victim of common core education.

I refer to it as "commie core".

Read his gambit and wince if he is educated in a US public school:

Dear Frend,

How are you today,I am here to inform you about my success in getting those funds transfarred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguaey though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy God decided the whole situatons. Presently i'm in Chine for invest projects with my own share of the total sum.


Meanwhile,i didn't forgot your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transfarring those funds despit that it failed us some how.I have concluded to effect your payment through WESTERN UNION  sent you USD 5,000 dollars through WESTERN UNION 5,000 USD  daly until the total amount of the USD$900.000.00 USD is complete. as I have been given your full comensation payment total sum of USD $900.000.00 USD.


Via WESTERN UNION information to pick up your frist Transfar.


MTCN: 578_544--#### Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats number

Sender's Name: Alph Nke
Text Question :When
Answer:Immediate
Amount:USD 5,000 USD


Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony Tell him to give you the remaining 4 digats MTCN number to you, below is there address ( wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com ) You have to send to him your address to enable him register your payment online with your information for you to start receiving your daily payment from WESTERN UNION agent over there in your city and country,send your cell phone number in your reply to then.

Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  

I wonder how Mohammineggs will do with an edit that mixes commie and uncommie core?  Let's see:

Fritter,

allah ackphooey.  I am here which is not where you is here because you is there and these are two places separated by a fecal load of real and unreal estate, water and other geographic influences I not learn in school.  Where is I is is to inform you about my learning from Bill Clinton that is has more definitions than I knowd.  He also teached me about genital humidors.  Before this I not have a sense of humidor.  Now I do.

 

But that not why I writ.  I wish inform you of my success in selling a Yugo at blue book plus 25% to a goat herder in Detroit, who believe me when I tell him that this is same Yugo drived by Tito in 1974 to the oprah in Belgrade.  You know, the capital of Yugo.  It is located on a compass to the north and east of the country of paraffin, a country in South American, somewhere.  Though i tried my best to involve you in the business but almitghy gourd decided what is a whole, where is a hole, who is a hole, and what they had stuffed up the hole in this and all situations.

 

Presently i'm in Chino, Kaliforlornia, for a conference on how commie core edewecashun is the best thing since seeing Hillary in a thong.  

Even after hassing my eyes gouged out, I cannot escape that image.  I tried with whales, wildebeests and a valley stuffed with stinking Occupy village idiots.

Meanwhile,i didn't forget your muffins you ordered three months ago.  But when I mixed them with pancakes on a roof, aliens that aren't supposed to wear purple hats came and took them all, sending AlGore 76 million years in the past to help dinosaurs stop man-bear-pig from global warning.  He make mistake and take a moochelle school lunch with him since kids won't eat them.  I doubt dinosaurs will either.

 He says to retrieve him Via WESTERN UNION next week.

MTCN: 578_544--####.  You has to guess the last four numbers.  They are Roman numeral, so you have to figure out where they wandered off to.

Sender's Name: Alf (an alien sock puppet that not wear purple hats but do eat pancakes)
Text Question :  When retrieve AlGore
Answer:  when Debbil Washingmachine Snitz flies on broom to DNC to perform proctology exam on Barry Soetero Obola
Amount of cost:  one asshole and seven pencils equal to Marie Harf's fractional IQ in ewephonics

Please,contact Pastor Zimmar Anthony and Tell him the mosque is an outhouse in Burundi.  This is code for "a t-rex is chasing AlGore and mebbe you ought to bring.....uh....oh....never mind...t-rex faster".  Of course the Pasture will understand all when you email him at  wubpaymentoffice@gmail.com  and tell him that Sandra Fluke is really Josh Earnest in drag.  You will of course have to send to him your first dozen mismatched socks from the laundry, a missing Lerner email and the first time you had sex with a mannequin that looks like Nancy Pelosi when you blew a .325 on a breathalyzer, since everyone knows you had to be that drunk to try it. 

I think that's about had it.   Have A nice Day

Mohamed Hassan  


While I got no reply from ol' Mohamed or his pasture, I'm sure I made the enemies list of the DNC  ;-)