And Still More Illuminincompoops

The Nigerian branch of the Illuminincompoops is persistent.

Not convincing...but persistent.

The real Illuminincompoops out there must find them embarrassing.

Here's their latest effort to give me, my two pet rocks and my deactivated Alexa by Amazoid, da business:

JOIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATI….

Join illuminati today join the great illuminati brotherhood today
and live a better and happy life. Welcome to the great temple of
Riches, Fame and Powers. Are you a business Man, or Woman,
Politician, Musician, Pastor, Lawyer, Actor, Actress, banker, and
you? want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can
achieve your dreams by being a member of the Great illuminati  
brotherhood. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be
fully accomplished, if you really want to be a member of the
great illuminati  brotherhood, note: New members are rewarded
with $100,000.00 US Dollars A Golden Ring will be offered, that
will protect and guild you from enemies, and a free visa to all
country. 

No human sacrifices or sharing of blood. if you are

really interested contact us today on via email:

illuminatitemple.usa@hotmail.com or whatsApp on +1 (480) 442-
1739.

with best wishes
Mr. Danny Paul   

Yes, I know that they say that they are the illuminati temple usa...which is what most Nigerian illuminincompoop templates instruct their sheeple to email from their fly-infested internet cafes around Lagos.

Meh.

Since the Nigerian illuminincompoops most closely follow Democrap National Crimemittee substandards, it seemed only right to work that into the edit:

From: Dr.Danny Paul <info@illuminatitemple.co.uk>
Sent: Tuesday, July 20, 2021 9:27 AM
To: jackwagonfullofshite01@hotmail.com 
Subject: Good Golly Miss Molly Please Lick My Lolly!

Good Golly Miss Molly Please Lick My Lolly!

JOIN THE ABJECTLY SUBSTANDARD ILLUMININCOMPOOPS....PLEASE?

Join the Nigerian chapter of the Illuminincompoops...please?

Join the abjectly substandard Nigerian chapter of the Illuminincompoops

and live a life that sucks worse than anything imaginable. Welcome to the 

painful rectal temple of disease and deceit, Nigerian Illuminincompoop

style.  Are you a Man, Woman, Gender Neutral or non-binary octosexual

orthopod, or one of 58 mental illnesses the DNC made up to let 

pedophiles have access to kids in public bathrooms?

If you are, then you can be sure that lots of pedophiles in politics,

entertainment, big pharma, big tech, and other abject sacks of sh*t

plan to be famous in life by wrecking your dreams to fulfill their

own.  

You can't achieve your dreams by being a member of the Abjectly

Substandard Illuminincompoops gender-fluidhood.  Do this and

your dreams are a swirly disappearing down the toilet.  That is

guaran-f**king-teed.

Note: New members are rewarded with sending us money and

receiving in return not ONE F**KING THING!!!  The human sacrifices 

and sharing of blood will follow if you come to Nigeria where our

fine young cannibals are standing by to take your reservations.

If you have the IQ of a tree stump -- rather like kamala -- contact us today on via email:

illuminatitemple.usa@hotmail.com or whatsApp on +1 (480) 442-
1739.

Bite us,
Mr. Danny Paul

 The originating scammer had only one observation about the edit:

make jest of the illuminati at your peril fool.

I will.  Let me know how that empty threat works out for you, twatwaffle.  Asking for a friend.

The pet rocks and deactivated Alexa are hiding in the corner -- Seymour is wielding my five iron -- and I'm just waiting for that peril....*Jeopardy Theme song on loooooong loop*

Meanwhile, another recipient of the edit chimed in with some degree of confusion:

What's this for?  How this help our business?

Oh for egg salad f**k's sake, can't you see the obvious parallel parkings between the lines of your scheme and this one?  It's clear as river mud to me.  Have yourself slathered with honey and staked down on an army ant hill for one hour you buffoon.  That's an illuminincompoops typical indoctrination test of faith.

stop write to me!!!

Awww gee, and just when it was starting to get good.

The pet rocks and deactivated Alexa are still hiding, but they do like that honey idea...

More Illuminippleheads

The Nigerian Illuminati don't give up easily.

Inept as they are, they should have resorted to going hutch to hutch, selling self masturbating kits in Benin.

Long as they didn't include inflatable Hellary sex toys, they'd probably have been fine.

But they keep trying to leave comments on this blog on assorted posts, to advertise themselves.

Here's their latest:


agentwilliams illuminati has left a new comment on your post "Scam Like An Egyptian":

JOIN THE ILLUMINATI

Home

How To Join

Contact>>>email agentwilliams3666@gmail.com

More
CALL: +2349034058608

© 2016 by Lord Jake
JOIN US IF YOU WANT TO BE OUR BROTHERHOOD
Join Us If You Want to be Our Brotherhood

The Illuminati is a defunct secret society formed by a fervent Acadermic, Adam Weishaupt in Balvaria, 1776. The cult as its name suggests, was a group of intellectuals who came together to install discipline in themselves, infiltrate government agencies, and create a new world order. However, the original illuminati was disbanded by the government of Balgaria, when all secret societies were banned, though even before then, strong internal problems were already leading the illuminati cult to termination. That was the 18th century Illuminati. The 21st and 20th centuries also have an illuminati sect which in words you are more likely to understand, is supposed to sign you up, pull you into their chain of command, and give you enlightenment, and then, power, as you’ll be playing sinewy roles in the government. This article tries to bring to light, facts about the modern Illuminati, and also helps the reader to join, and utilize the opportunities availed by the sect, which are enlightenment, enrichment, and empowerment.

The Illuminati make people rich, famous and astoundingly powerful. The Illuminati, which means enlightenment, purge your mind of all vestiges of ignorance, backwardness and naivety. It brings you out of the delusions and illusions which you’ve been subjected to by numerous religious escapades, and when you are relieved of these non-propitious encumbrances, success becomes inevitable.

Knowing that many of us do not understand the Illuminati as it is, I’ll go ahead to expound on this wonderful phenomenon and am hoping that by the time you get to the last paragraph of this article, you would be on your way to becoming “illuminated”. It would do the reader good to note that the Illuminati of the 18th century are not the same with the modern illuminati. The former was a cult, while the latter is a consciousness.

Join the great Illuminate to be rich; famous and. wealthy .for
help
on how to become a member kindly fill the following
information below.
Full name.....
Age.......
Address.....
Occupation......
Location.....
Country........
Mobile.....
Email......
You are to take the oath and made an agreement that you will
never betray the Brotherhood, because no going back after
filling the form!!Our Oath is this: if i ever try to disclosed this
secret out to anybody or betrayed the society, you are to reply
this message along with the details you fill...let me die with the
sword of the Lucifer .you are expected to say this after filling
the form   


My pet rock, Seymour, doesn't like the Nigerian Illuminati any more than he likes Kim Jong Un.  So it was easy for me to step aside and let him take this edit, which he did with relish...and mustard:

JOIN THE ILLUMINIPPLEHEADS

How To Join the ILLUMINIPPLEHEADS

Contact>>>email agentwilliams3666@gmail.com

More
CALL: +2349034058608

© 2016 by Lord Jakeofftheminkey

JOIN US IF YOU WANT TO BE OUR BEEYOTCH
Join Us If You Want to be Our Beeyotch

The Illuminippleheads is a detestable secret society formed by a fervent Acadermic twat waffle, Adam Weishaupt in Balvaria, 1776. The cult as its name suggests, was a group of intellectual goat sodomists who came together to invent sex toys for themselves, infiltrate government agencies, and create a new world odor. However, the original illuminippleheads was disbanded by the government of Dagnabia when all secret societies were banned. That was the 18th century Illuminippleheads. The 21st century version are even more pestilent which in words you are more likely to understand, such as douche nozzle and hamster nut sack, is supposed to sign you up, pull you into their crotch and give you painful rectal itch, as you’ll be playing sinewy roles in assorted houses of ill repute. This article tries to bring to light, facts about the modern Illuminippleheads, and fails.  Meh.

The Illuminippleheads make people stupid, ignorant and astoundingly democrap. The Illuminippleheads, which means unenlightened piranha genitals, purge your mind of all vestiges of intellect, reason, common sense and decency. It brings you into the delusions and illusions which the butt polyps of the DNC and lamestream servile mediocres like cnn and msnbc have been trying to subject you to via hillaryloads of illicit escapades.  If you fall into their talking points, success becomes manifestly impossible.

Knowing that many of us do not understand the Illuminippleheads as it is, I’ll go ahead to expound on this cancerous butt polyp and am hoping that by the time you get to the last paragiraffe of this article, you would be on your way to becoming dumber than a diseased tree stump and join our debilitating illuminippleheads. It would do the reader good to note that while the constipated mathematician worked it out with a pencil in the 18th century, pencils aren't the same today.

Join the debasing Illuminippleheads to be stupid, misled and a blithering democrap low information sheeple.

 help on how to become a member of her kind of abject stupidity, just fill the following information below.

Full name.....

What your name's full of.....

Show original message

Age.......
Address.....
Occupation......
Location.....
Country........
Mobile.....
Email......

You are to take the oath and made an agreement that you will never betray the Illuminippleheads, because no going back after filling the form!!  You are NOT ALLOWED to grow a working

BRAIN once you are a democrap Illuminipplehead!

 

Our Oath is this: if you ever try to disclose this secret out to anybody or betray the democrap illuminipplehead society, you will be afflicted with gential warts that resemble the last democrap candidate for president...

You will be monitored by hypersensitive college cupcakes from Berkeley who will let us know in no uncertain terms if you violate our rules.

 

So be a good low information democrap sheeple, do as you're told and join the Illuminippleheads.

What you haven't already screwed up in your life, we'll finish.  

Most times the comment originator doesn't bother with a reply, but this one got his panties in a wad and did so:


this are blasphmy. the god of our oracle will bring you what you deserve!  

Seymour was up to that:


Oh goodie!  I deserve a date with Taylor Swift!!!  

I don't think that's what they had in mind, Seymour.  In any event, they on their best day can't arrange you a date with Taylor.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"

Now you see why Seymour hates the Nigerian Illuminippleheads...

Nigerian Illumiknotheads Cain't Git Enuff

It got the attention of camels world-wide, but not so much here.

The current Nigerian craze in email scamming IS putting forth a full effort into their Illuminati fraud.

And it might be working somewhere over the rainbow.

But not here.

What it has done is increased page visits to this blog from around the world, as the Nigerian Illumiknotheads try to be the kardashians of 419 Land.

So here's another post sure to get more visits to the blog  ;-)

Once again, here's how simple the scammer pitch is:


Are you an Intern, Scholar, Leader, or Person with notable/celebrated Talent or Resources?

The 1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you ALREADY(1) in place within Organizations we have an interest in.

http://illuminatiorder.com is the dissemination point for Initiates of the Outer Head of the Order, and for analyzing response to our more visible existence.

We do not accept any sort of "Application" from the Public, however we do take note of individuals who are adequately interested in our "work" enough seek active involvement in anything we have interest in.

Referrals are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest in illuminism, a certain character and nature, and the efforts made in their Business and Personal Affairs.

If you are interested in the evolution of Mankind and a "mutually beneficial" future, we may be interested in working with you get in contact with us through this [GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM
+2348159645330   


And here is how easy it is to take their pitch and make it into something that the world loves to read and the Nigerians fume about:

On Sunday, September 21, 2014 9:59 PM, "greattempleofilluminati@gmail.com" had writ for them because they are Third World troglodytes incapable of anything intelligible:
 

   
Are you a practitioner of anything perverted when it comes to the ass or vagina of an animal?

The 1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you in place with animals that you can rape and sodomize.  This  we have an interest in.

http://illuminatiorder.com is the center of the perversion universe for Initiates of the Outer Head of the Order.  Those of us with our heads up our asses in this Nigerian organization are working on an "Inner Head of the Odor" and hope to have something on the website soonest, with all the modalities worked out and whatever else stuffs we write.

We do not accept any sort of "Application" from the Public; then again, our blind email solicitations haven't been doing so goodest lately -- there are sons of bitches out there who take and edit them and post them and make us look worse than we already look inside of Nigeria -- however we do take note of individuals who are too stupid to do any internet research on us and write to us actually believing and hoping that we can produce any of the promised shit we say we can do, when all we truly can do is figure prod our buttholes between sodomy sessions with goats and other animals.  This is about all we have interest in.

Referrals are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest in buttfingering-and-sodomy-ism, a certain character and nature, and the efforts made in their Business and Personal Affairs to become as Third World low life as us of the Nigerian Illumiknotheads.

Hide message history

If you are interested in the corrosion and perversion of Mankind and a "personally destructive" future, we may be interested in working with you.  F**k that...we desperately NEED TO HEARS FROM YOU or Ogun -- our fly-infested internet enforcer -- will kill us for non-productivity, and he'll rape all of our goats and animals and we won't get nothing to finger but our own buttholes.  Please not to let this happen to us, you must get in contact with us through this [GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM
+2348159645330

This has been sponsored by the Nestor Law Firm, a firm of Nigerians who want you to think that they are lawyers, instead of the vaginal warts that they really are.  For all your illegal and perverted needs, let the Nestor Law Firm be the worst collection of mugus you'll ever wish you'd never contacted.  Nestorlawfirm@outlook.com.  This is a paid for advertisement (we got to sodomize their goats to post this).    

 

 

Yeah, I know...rude, crude, and among democrats, probably not pc (other than where they're actually doing this, like at DNC HQ in DC).  But it's getting readers researching the latest craze from Nigerian 419ers, and it's pissing off the 419ers.

 

I'm good with both:  illuminating the Nigerian illumiknotheads for what they are  ;-) 

I Get To Meet Sandra Bullock!

Why the HELL didn't they tell me this before???  THIS would have made ALL the difference!!!

Not really, but it's a really nice thought.

My latest Illumi-nipplehead -- the one from the monkey business post a few days ago -- accepted my character's application for membership.

Even though Myra Manes is dead and 'living' six feet under a well knowd Los Angeles cemetery.

I guess -- like democrap "get out the fraudulent voters" --  they're desperate for memberships.

Here's my "acceptance" letter:


Okay now u have filled the form here are
the benefits of joining.
Once you pay your registration fee,
you   will be initiated and will be
given the sum of 5hundred
thousand   dollars and you will be payed
150thousand dollars every month.
Then you will be granted free
transportation to five good
countries  any time any day ( UK, Canada,
Australia, France,spain).
You will be given protection, power
wealth and long life.
NOTE: all this will be given to you if
only  you pay your registration fee.
the fee will cost you 150 USd  


*TOING*  Dang, there's always that cotton pickin' *TOING* croppin' up h'yar with these fellers.


Naturally, before my chara-orpse starts to play widdem a tad, I sent 'em one more email to see if they'd answer a few questions, not expecting them to read them too closely as you'll note...and what's more, arrange something that any one of my characters, my pet rock...hell, even me...would appreciate for reals:

I have some grave questions for you.

What happens if I want to have my remains remain in the US, rather than UK, Canada, Australia, France or Spain?  Can I do that?

 

I am happy to receive $500,000 initially; but with that as a base, I don't need $150,000 a month.  I and the groundskeepers would be content with $25,000 a month.  Can that be arranged?

 

The Illuminati will save further money on me because I have my own personal, very spiritual  protection.

 

I thought I saw somewhere that as a member of the Illuminati, I can meet famous people.  Can you dig me up the opportunity to meet Sandra Bullock?  I am always been in love with Sandra Bullock.  If you can arrange for me to have meet with her, I will spare no expense from beyond the astral bridge to pay your fee with dispatch.

 

Last question, can I get something other than an ebola vaccination with membership?  I'm kinda beyond the need for stuff like that.

Please advise soonest.  

 

 

My character was all excited, of corpse, awaiting the response from the reading-dysfunctional Illuminipplehead.  He didn't disappoint either with his reading dysfunction or my character's biggest request:

 

 

you can leave any were you want

everything you want will be done
no ebola virus

after you join i can arrange you to meet Sandra Bullock personal.   first you must pay 150USd, then i arrange you meet her.  

 

 

O...M...G....my character gets to meet SANDRA BULLOCK!!!!

 

 

It's about now that my pet rock, Seymour, gives me that "remind me to tell you how many ways and reasons that you're a doofus" look and face palm.  Of course, Seymour's right:  why would Sandra Bullock want to meet Myra Manes, let alone the idjit behind the scambaiting character?

 

*Sigh*...it was good for a nanosecond dream.

 

At any rate, I don't want to disappoint Mr. Illumiknothaid just yet, so Myra lays it on:

 

If you can arrange for me to meet and have an intimate meal with Sandra Bullock, YOU GOT ME LOCK, CRYPT AND COFFIN!  How do I send you this 150 usd?  

 

 

I knowd that would get a positive response:

 

 

via western union  

 

 

That's definite enough.  To whom do I send it and do you need the test question/answer thingee used? 

 

 

receivers name: Akhidenor Endurance

receivers Country: Nigeria
receivers State: Edo state

test question: color

test answer: Red

once you done with the payment send me the

senders name

MTCN PIN  

 

 

Now it's time to let them sit on pins and needles awhile, awaiting Myra Mane's email that a Western Union has been sent....from across the Third Astral Plane.  Them Lagos Nigeria Western Unioners never seem to figure out how to download them.

Now we start that 'game' between *the living* and *the dead*:


It wasn't easy, but the wire is sent.  I await confirmation from your end.  


what is the information you wire?  we need mtcn pin.  


I wired it to you just as you instructed above.  I see that I did forget the pin...it's ****  


what is that?  we need the mtcn pin please.  


Everytime I send or type a pin, that's what it shows up as...****.  It worked the same way on your side of the Astral Bridge as it does here.  It's a security thing I'm told.  


what bridge you speak of?  do not make games with illuminati.  We are serious cult.   what is mtcn pin now if you want be member.  


I'm telling you, it's ****.  And the bridge is how you were able to contact me.  It's the Astral Bridge that spans from the physical realm to the Third Astral Plane, where I am.  Which reminds me...you need to tell your physical realm Western Union office to retune their receiver for an astral wire of funds...tell them to try .00075 mhz.  That should allow them to access the pin **** and collect the $150 usd.  


unless you pay the 150USd, you cannot get the benefit of the illuminati.  i do not understand this astral bridge you speak of.  send fee now or you will not be joined.    


The money is sent and the pin is **** just as I told you.  You simply MUST tell your Western Union dah-dit-dah-dit-dahs to adjust their receiver to .00075 MHz or they will never be able to receive the money from across the Astral Bridge.  As Idi Amin always says, "this is very important".  


this your last change to give us mtcn pin or you be deny joined illuminati.  Give us mtcn pin now.   


You mean that after I fulfill all of my Earthly obligations, you'd deny me that meeting with Sandra Bullock, because YOU are too stupid to tell the Western Union employee the simple instructions I give you?  What are you, the Nigerian Illumi-dumbies?   


u are jackass.  bye. 


No, I'm unaffiliated.  No one in the party of jackasses worth voting for.  I might support an elephant, but not literally.  Sell.  

Sadly, that brought an end to our communications, and my character's one and probably only chance to have a personal meeting with Sandra Bullock.

Dang...but it was good for another *face palm* from my pet rock... 

 

 

 

 

 

Illumi-numbnuts Monkey Bidness

He can't believe what I dun with the latest Illumi-nuthouse email.

Neither, apparently, could the receiving Illumi-nutzoid.

Here's how it looked when it arrived:


Welcome to great illuminati order(UNITED STATE) of POWER PROTECTION, INFLUENCE,WEALTH, STARDOM,If you are interested in joining the brotherhood and you want your dreams to come through, then you have the chance to do that, join the illuminati today to get $25000 every 3 days and $1000000 monthly membership blessing for doing what you love to do best. Contact newworldilluminatiorder@hotmail.com , or call on,+12132676188 today to change your life for the better,We holds the world.  


And after a tad of a tweak, here's how it looked going back to the Illumi-naughty and about 40 of his peers and colleagues:


  Welcome to great Nigerian illuminumbnuts order (WEST AFRICA) wherein we put much time, effort, thought and practice into the masturbation of monkeys.  Don't laugh, it isn't as easy to masturbate a monkey as you might think.  It takes a real Nigerian Illuminumbnuts member to be able to do it.  If you are interested in joining the brotherhood of monkey masturbators and you want your wet dreams of masturbating monkeys to come through, then you have the chance to do that, join the Nigerian illuminumbnuts today to get your free "How To Masturbate Monkeys The Nigerian Illuminumbnuts Way", Parts I-X, soonest!  Soonerest you apply, the soonerest you can do what you love to do best:  masturbate monkeys. Contact newworldilluminatiorder@hotmail.com , or call on,+12132676188 today to change your life for the primate masturbatory better!  We holds the world of monkey dorks....hubba hubba.  


Small wonder the monkey is wincing.


Most of these edits go unresponded to.  But not this one, and it's obvious the respondent didn't read closely what I dun to his email, Ma:


YOU ARE WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF THE ILLUMINATI.

My child it's real and i can help you become a member of the Illuminati if only you follow all we will say to you.

Firstly you have to fill this spaces BELOW.

your name;
your country;
your state;
your Phone number;
your age;
occupation;  


Since he don' read vewy well, I reckon I can have one of my characters take a turn h'yar:


 your name;        Myra  Manes
your country;     USA
your state;         CA
your Phone number;   310-323-261-2725
your age;            40
occupation;         Disseminator                 


Since he don' read vewy well, I reckon it won't make much difference to him that he's now communicating with a resident of a cemetery in Los Angeles.

I'm sure the Nigerian Illumi-numbnuts won't mind.


The monkeys might.