Illumi-numbnuts Monkey Bidness

He can't believe what I dun with the latest Illumi-nuthouse email.

Neither, apparently, could the receiving Illumi-nutzoid.

Here's how it looked when it arrived:


Welcome to great illuminati order(UNITED STATE) of POWER PROTECTION, INFLUENCE,WEALTH, STARDOM,If you are interested in joining the brotherhood and you want your dreams to come through, then you have the chance to do that, join the illuminati today to get $25000 every 3 days and $1000000 monthly membership blessing for doing what you love to do best. Contact newworldilluminatiorder@hotmail.com , or call on,+12132676188 today to change your life for the better,We holds the world.  


And after a tad of a tweak, here's how it looked going back to the Illumi-naughty and about 40 of his peers and colleagues:


  Welcome to great Nigerian illuminumbnuts order (WEST AFRICA) wherein we put much time, effort, thought and practice into the masturbation of monkeys.  Don't laugh, it isn't as easy to masturbate a monkey as you might think.  It takes a real Nigerian Illuminumbnuts member to be able to do it.  If you are interested in joining the brotherhood of monkey masturbators and you want your wet dreams of masturbating monkeys to come through, then you have the chance to do that, join the Nigerian illuminumbnuts today to get your free "How To Masturbate Monkeys The Nigerian Illuminumbnuts Way", Parts I-X, soonest!  Soonerest you apply, the soonerest you can do what you love to do best:  masturbate monkeys. Contact newworldilluminatiorder@hotmail.com , or call on,+12132676188 today to change your life for the primate masturbatory better!  We holds the world of monkey dorks....hubba hubba.  


Small wonder the monkey is wincing.


Most of these edits go unresponded to.  But not this one, and it's obvious the respondent didn't read closely what I dun to his email, Ma:


YOU ARE WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF THE ILLUMINATI.

My child it's real and i can help you become a member of the Illuminati if only you follow all we will say to you.

Firstly you have to fill this spaces BELOW.

your name;
your country;
your state;
your Phone number;
your age;
occupation;  


Since he don' read vewy well, I reckon I can have one of my characters take a turn h'yar:


 your name;        Myra  Manes
your country;     USA
your state;         CA
your Phone number;   310-323-261-2725
your age;            40
occupation;         Disseminator                 


Since he don' read vewy well, I reckon it won't make much difference to him that he's now communicating with a resident of a cemetery in Los Angeles.

I'm sure the Nigerian Illumi-numbnuts won't mind.


The monkeys might.