Scam Like An Egyptian

Yawp.

My character -- more than one of them -- were contacted by a Mrs Suzanne Mubarak, claiming to be the wife of deposed Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak.

Read about it h'yar:


Please read and get back to me!!!

This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the recent protest in Egypt.I am Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak, the wife of Deposed Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak who is seriously ill where he had retreated after giving up power on February 11.Ever since the turn out of events and even prior to the protest,I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion,humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present military leadership of the Egyptian Liberation Organization.I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture.As a woman that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Egyptian Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars.And they are not relenting on their effort to make me and my sons(Gamal & Alaa Mubarak) poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for women, more importantly when the woman is from a Christian background, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.

I have the sum of 62.5USD(Sixty-Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) with a financial firm in Europe whose name I can not disclose for now for security reasons until we open up communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity.

This arrangement will be known to you and I alone and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because our government has tapped all our lines and are monitoring all my moves.In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, you shall be compensated with 20% of the funds after the completion and transfer of fund to your possession.

Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak  


Being surprised by anything that comes in email is a rarity for me these days; the surprise I think comes in what she read when I had my one character edit and return her email to her and a hundred or so of her friends and colleagues:


To: mrsmubarak00034@gmx.us
Subject:Please read and get back at me!!!  

On Sunday, December 18, 2016 3:12 PM, Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak <mrssuzannemubarak@vfemail.net> wrote:

This mail will be surprising to you whether you follow South Park or not.  I am Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak, the wife of Deposed Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, and yes, asshats, we both walk like Egyptians.  I've been cursing the Bangles for years about that. 

 

 

Ever since the turn out of events and even prior to an irrelevant episode indirectly about us on The Kardashians, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion,humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by Michael Mooron's insistence that I don't vote the way the Erectoral College says I should...but I refused to vote for hellary.  Instead, I voted for Vox the Wonder Yak.

 

 

  Since then, I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture from college powder puffs who fill my Twatter account with illegible rants about constipated mathematicians that worked it out with a pencil and WTF accusations of my having ruined Toledo.  .As a woman that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment because it's obvious to me that Toledo sucked a long time before this.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet that I have shut down my Twatter account because it's so full of ignoramuses from Berkeley with dozens of face piercings crying about human caused global hedge funding of tyrannosaurs dickheads that look like Anthony Weiner and text like John Podesta, all puffy lipped.

 

 

  In the meantime, it has been reported on faux news sites like cnn, msnbc, abc, nbc and cbs that I was a final runner up at auditions for intern genital humidors for Bill Clinton when he was sure that the helldebeast would get him back into the Oral Orifice.  Brian Williams even asserted that he was with me when our yellow submarine came under sniper fire in Bosnia. 

I have never been to Bosnia in any kind of submarine, let alone with Brian Williams, who was at the time really doing a mockumentary on Anthony Weiner and pud pulling sexting during a weekend at Bernie's.

And if THAT isn't enough, Kurt Eisenschnauzerface from Newsweak keeps claiming that I have about $6.5 Billion Dollars that Hellary misappropriated while the Suckretary of State and that I intend to use it to bring illegal Syrian islamofascist cameldorks by the thousands to Kaliforlornia in time to vote on their seceding from the USA in 2018, so we can run Hellary for president against a cardboard cut out of Ahnold Schwarzenwanker. 

 

 

There might be some truth to that, since we look forward to watching her lose again.  Damn me to Rachal Madcow, but it's fun watching Hellary psychologically implode every time she loses.

Because of this Whiny League schools across the Northeast are not relenting on their effort to make me and my sons (Gamal & Alaa Mubarak) Mariah careys for life, performing at the Glockenspiel Theatre in downtown Vaduz, Liechtenstein through 2030.  Tickets will be available at Ticketmaster once someone gets the word there. 

As you know -- and Barack Insane Obola ignores -- the Moslem community has more regard for goats than women, hence my desire for a foreign assistance to arrange to make me a judge on Dancing With The Stars.

If you can't arrange that, perhaps you can get me on something like Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, The Gong Show, Mama's Family...get me something that will get me some YouBoob exposure so I can start a GoF***Me page like Jill Frankenstein did.  

 This arrangement will be known to you and I alone and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone so long as it doesn't find its way onto Anthony Weiner's laptop or Hellary Clinton's email server, 'cuz then the Russians, Wikileaks and Piers Moron will know all about us and Chris Berman will make fun of us "going all...the...WAY..." on ESPN.

Please note that this is a fecal opportunity that comes once in life time if one is lucky enough to only have it come or breath hard once.  If you are honestly gullible, I am going to enjoy the sh*t out of this.  But dammit, please do not let me out to the security and international media by telling someone connected to the Russians, Wikileaks or the DNC about this.

 Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak
aka  Camilla the stripteasing Camel on the Islamofascist Entertainment Network

"Dirka Dirka!!!"

 

Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak -- after reading this -- decided that certain kinds of foreign "help" were better than others...and she'd wait for the others  ;-)