Nigerian Illumiknotheads Cain't Git Enuff

It got the attention of camels world-wide, but not so much here.

The current Nigerian craze in email scamming IS putting forth a full effort into their Illuminati fraud.

And it might be working somewhere over the rainbow.

But not here.

What it has done is increased page visits to this blog from around the world, as the Nigerian Illumiknotheads try to be the kardashians of 419 Land.

So here's another post sure to get more visits to the blog  ;-)

Once again, here's how simple the scammer pitch is:


Are you an Intern, Scholar, Leader, or Person with notable/celebrated Talent or Resources?

The 1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you ALREADY(1) in place within Organizations we have an interest in.

http://illuminatiorder.com is the dissemination point for Initiates of the Outer Head of the Order, and for analyzing response to our more visible existence.

We do not accept any sort of "Application" from the Public, however we do take note of individuals who are adequately interested in our "work" enough seek active involvement in anything we have interest in.

Referrals are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest in illuminism, a certain character and nature, and the efforts made in their Business and Personal Affairs.

If you are interested in the evolution of Mankind and a "mutually beneficial" future, we may be interested in working with you get in contact with us through this [GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM
+2348159645330   


And here is how easy it is to take their pitch and make it into something that the world loves to read and the Nigerians fume about:

On Sunday, September 21, 2014 9:59 PM, "greattempleofilluminati@gmail.com" had writ for them because they are Third World troglodytes incapable of anything intelligible:
 

   
Are you a practitioner of anything perverted when it comes to the ass or vagina of an animal?

The 1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you in place with animals that you can rape and sodomize.  This  we have an interest in.

http://illuminatiorder.com is the center of the perversion universe for Initiates of the Outer Head of the Order.  Those of us with our heads up our asses in this Nigerian organization are working on an "Inner Head of the Odor" and hope to have something on the website soonest, with all the modalities worked out and whatever else stuffs we write.

We do not accept any sort of "Application" from the Public; then again, our blind email solicitations haven't been doing so goodest lately -- there are sons of bitches out there who take and edit them and post them and make us look worse than we already look inside of Nigeria -- however we do take note of individuals who are too stupid to do any internet research on us and write to us actually believing and hoping that we can produce any of the promised shit we say we can do, when all we truly can do is figure prod our buttholes between sodomy sessions with goats and other animals.  This is about all we have interest in.

Referrals are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest in buttfingering-and-sodomy-ism, a certain character and nature, and the efforts made in their Business and Personal Affairs to become as Third World low life as us of the Nigerian Illumiknotheads.

Hide message history

If you are interested in the corrosion and perversion of Mankind and a "personally destructive" future, we may be interested in working with you.  F**k that...we desperately NEED TO HEARS FROM YOU or Ogun -- our fly-infested internet enforcer -- will kill us for non-productivity, and he'll rape all of our goats and animals and we won't get nothing to finger but our own buttholes.  Please not to let this happen to us, you must get in contact with us through this [GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM
+2348159645330

This has been sponsored by the Nestor Law Firm, a firm of Nigerians who want you to think that they are lawyers, instead of the vaginal warts that they really are.  For all your illegal and perverted needs, let the Nestor Law Firm be the worst collection of mugus you'll ever wish you'd never contacted.  Nestorlawfirm@outlook.com.  This is a paid for advertisement (we got to sodomize their goats to post this).    

 

 

Yeah, I know...rude, crude, and among democrats, probably not pc (other than where they're actually doing this, like at DNC HQ in DC).  But it's getting readers researching the latest craze from Nigerian 419ers, and it's pissing off the 419ers.

 

I'm good with both:  illuminating the Nigerian illumiknotheads for what they are  ;-) 

The More You Illuminazi, The More You Runs Into Flieger Schiesse

Nigerian Illuminazis can be so siwwy.  Especiawwy as it gets cwoser to Halloween.

And they keep posting siwwy endorsements in the comments section of my blog.  Like they really think they're going to recruit scammable people from there.

Siwwy wabbits.

Take the latest comment endorsement from the latest round of siwwy Illminazis:


Are you an Intern, Scholar, Leader, or Person with notable/celebrated Talent or Resources?

The
1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you
ALREADY(1) in place within Organizations we have an interest in.

http://illuminatiorder.com
is the dissemination point for Initiates of the Outer Head of the
Order, and for analyzing response to our more visible existence.

We
do not accept any sort of "Application" from the Public, however we do
take note of individuals who are adequately interested in our "work"
enough seek active involvement in anything we have interest in.

Referrals
are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest
in illuminism, a certain character and nature, and the efforts made in
their Business and Personal Affairs.

If you are interested in the
evolution of Mankind and a "mutually beneficial" future, we may be
interested in working with you get in contact with us through this
[GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM

+2348159645330  


At least this time they made no passing mention of sacrifices or any some such.  Not to worry though; my edit will take care of it:

Are you into animal sodomy?

The 1st step to a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” would be to have you
ALREADY(1) in place within Organizations we have an interest in, all of which

involve animal sodomy and genital sacrifice.

We of the Odor Of The Great Illuminippleheads Temple Of Babble is the dissemination point for Initiates of the Outer Head of the Order, and for analyzing response to our more visible existence.  And yes, none of us wrote that because most of the words here is unfamiliar.

We do not accept any sort of "Application" from people who have normal heterosexual sex;  however we do take note of individuals who are adequately interested in our "work"  of sodomizing animals to seek active involvement in anything we have interest in.  Like oral sex with piranha.

Referrals are made to a global Network about individuals with a certain interest in animal sodomy, and a person with no character whatsoever is welcome.

If you are interested in the evolution of animal sodomy and a "mutually beneficial" future, we may be

Hide message history  interested in working with you get in contact with us through this
[GREATTEMPLEOFILLUMINATI@GMAIL.COM

+2348159645330

LIMITED SPECIAL:  for the next 100 of you that joins our perverted org, we send you an inflatable life size Adolph Hitler -- ears and all -- you can practice your sodomy on until you get a goat of your own!


They keep sending, and I keep editing...   

.

 

And Yet More Illumiknothaids

I have to laugh, because the number of links to my original Illuminati scambait has exceeded 120, and they are almost ALL coming out of...*drum roll*...Nigeria.

I've also cleaned out a number of additional solicitations from more crooked Nigeri-nutties in the comments section of the original post...along with editing a few of them ;-)

Still, they keep trying.

What I've done with a number of them is edit them and send them back to the sender, and every other Nigeri-nutty email addy they've sent me.

Most go unanswered. 

But not this one.  What's more, he/they/Ogun/it read what I dun to their original email, Ma.  And still they tried to recruit me.  With both a carrot AND a stick.

Here's how it went, starting with what I did to their email, Ma:

ILUMIKNOTHEADS TELEPHONE CONTACTS:+2348169340571
To Join F**kMugus
CALL us Directly today.
EMAIL US NOW FOR MEMBERSHIP: thailluminati666@gmail.com
INTRODUCTION TO F**KMUGUS
It is a well-known fact that F**KMUGUS/ILLUMIKNOTHEADS consist of Multiple mugus who've been duped by Third World morons sitting in fly-infested internet cafes all over Nigeria.
Now, for the FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, we are admitting what we are:  THIRD WORLD F**KHEADED LYING CROOKED SCAMMERS.  
If you would like to Join our collection of wallet-raped mugus, just register with us today.
F**KMUGUS/ILLUMIKNOTHEADS RECRUITMENT/REGISTRATION
PORTAL EMAIL IS: thailluminati666@gmail.com

EMAIL THE ADDRESS NOW FOR A QUICK ONLINE BUTTF**KING AT: thailluminati666@gmail.com  


Amazingly, this one actually replied to it, albeit with again both a carrot and a sorta veiled threat:


OK
You are welcome to the greatest force in the universe. i want you to
know that the Illuminati is not what you think. we are here to make
the globe and the universe go forward in a better ans safer way and no
body will ever be forced to join the religion is a matter of personal
choice.  the number one rule that you must know is that once your details is
registered in the high temple, you must come up with all the necessary
as requested by the grand master without leaving any stone unturned.

fill up the details  below, before i tell you  what to do.

NAME.........

DATE OF BIRTH......

COUNTRY......

AGE.......

STATUS.......

STATE OF ORIGIN......

PHONE NUMBER.......

OCCUPATION.......

REASONS FOR JOINING........

INTEREST RATE........

and a scan of your  photograph.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE ILLUMINATI
IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD PLAY MIND GAME WITH.  


I'm fully aware of John Lennon's Mind Games song from the 70s...with that in mind, I decided to not heed Mr. Nigeri-nutty's admonishment:

Who me, play mind game with the illumiknotheads?  Of course not.  Just to prove it, here's my application, with included photo:
 

NAME.........Jack N. Ewehoff

DATE OF BIRTH......2-29-80

COUNTRY......         Rural

AGE.......34

STATUS.......  Yes, I have one

STATE OF ORIGIN......Grace

PHONE NUMBER.......303-521-0707

OCCUPATION.......Email Analyst

REASONS FOR JOINING........I just love joining sh*t

INTEREST RATE........Depends on what interests me

Go ahead...illumiknot me.  

 

 

As for the requested photo...

 

Yup...that's Jack N. Ewehoff at his normal.

 

 

And what do you 'spose I get back?

 

 

YOU WARNED NOT TO PLAY MIND GAME WITH ILLUMINATI.  LIFE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU TO DO THIS OK.  

 

 

Oh goodie, a genuine threat.  Time to channel a wee bit of South Park's Eric Cartman in reply:

 

 

 

 

Well Mr. Nigeri-knothaid, I reckon life is what it is, and yours considerably sucks over th'yah more than mine does over h'yah.  Compare th'yah...h'yah.  Yawp...you lose.  Sucks to be you.  A poor Nigeri-knothaid widdout a pot to piss in.  But that's okay...I unnerstand entirely.  And I don't hold it agin you.  I wouldn't hold anything agin you, 'cuz you'd probably infect it with painful rectal itch or something Nigeri-knothaid-y.  At any rate, to quote a famous animated actor from a famous Comedy Central TV series, "screw you guys...I'm going home".  And before you protest or make further idiotic and unsustainable threats you're wholly incapable of achieving, that character would add.."screw you guys...home".  

 

 

What that drawd in response was I guess what passes for a pubic soivice announcement from themselfies, the Nigeri-knothaids:


WARNING! WARNING!! WARNING!!!
If you do not want to join the Illuminati do not read this message. Rules * You must be above 18 years of age. * You must have full access to the internet. * You must not discuss the secret of the Illuminati to anyone. * We are not interested in anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the Illuminati based on what they’ve HEARD from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY. * Once you join the Illuminati within one week of your membership you will achieved the greatest goal in life and also have wealth and fame. * No one discard the message of the GREAT ILLUMINATI if discarded the person will be tormented both day and night. * Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT ILLUMINATI shall see your fame and riches taken back. * The money ALWAYS flows TOWARDS Illuminati members...And AWAY from NON Illuminati members... One of the rules of the Illuminati is "We don't talk about the Illuminati" so I can't say too much about it here. If you are truly interested and get back to me via email thailluminati666@gmail.com or call +2348169340571
Do not play mind games   


Well...I played mind games:


If you do not want to join the latest craze in Nigerian 419 Land -- taking selfies of you butt boinking goats -- then we offer you this instead:  Join our Nigeriknothead Tree Stump Sodomy Cult!  It super AWESOME!  Rules * You don't need be above 18 years of age. * You must have full access to at least one tree stump widda hole in it * You must not discuss what you're doing to the tree stump with anyone but us of the Nigeriknothheads * We only want anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the seriously screwed up way we live here from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY, THERESY, HITHER-'N-YONSY, FROM HERESY TO BEYONCE, AH'LL TELL YOU WHATSY AND WAZZDAT DEY SAY. * Once you join the NIGERIKNOTHEADS within one week of you are required to take 10 selfies of you butt boinking a tree stump with a picture of Hillary Clinton watching you, which we can assure you will be the greatest goal you'll ever achieve being a member of this totally f**ked up cult and subsequently being adopted by a family of dung beetles in Burundi. * No one discard the message of the GREAT NIGERIKNOTHEADS if discarded the person will makes us so danged mad at you both day and night. * Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT NIGERIKNOTHEADS shall see...eh...nothing really.  What do you imagine a bunch of us empty headed Third World dolts sitting around in a fly-infested internet café can DO, when we barely have the means to finger our own assholes? * The money ALWAYS flows AWAY from anyone that joins NigeriKnotheads members...And TO us here while we imagine what it'd be like to be able to finger our own assholes *

One of the rules of the NigeriKnotheads is "Every day we attempt to finger our asshole while farting" so I can't say too much about it here, there or in Schnectedy, which I can't even finds on a map of Liechtenstein. If you are truly interested and get back to me via email thailluminati666@gmail.com or call +2348169340571
Do not play mind games with peoples who can only imagine fingering their own assholes while living to sodomize tree stumps.  Don't think too long on this or you might suffer genital cramp or something.

 

 

That seemed to be the last straw for this latest collection of Nigeri-knotheads.  No plays wif me no mores:

 

 

More Illumi-nutzoids

The chick nails it.

Some of the Illumi-knotheads in Nigeria aren't happy with what I've done with their emails.  They visit my blog post(s) on the subject and keep posting their own drivel to try and prop up their fool scam.

Yes...the illumi-nippleheads are a SCAM.

Here's the latest email to prove it:


join the illuminati today and get instant sum of 1 million dollars with a free home any where you choose to live in the world and also get 2500 dollars monthly as a salary... If you are interested please kindly contact  Thepowerfulilluminati@gmail.com. No dirty game, no sacrifices and No evil....is a cult of peace, big aim Illuminati group our email Thepowerfulilluminati@gmail.com this is our mobile number contact us now if want to be a member: +2348138201126 or Email Thepowerfulilluminati@gmail.com


LMAO...the first go-around, they didn't offer me an instant 1 million dollars with a free home, let alone a 2500 dollars monthly salary.  Of course, Nigerian illumi-numbnutz are so swimming in wealth, they email this stuff all over the globe just to be generous.  Of course.

And Boko Haram "recruits" young girls for their islamofascist version of The Dating Game.

I was so (un)impressed with the Nigerian illumi-nitwits that I let my pet rock, Seymour, handle the edit:

Herroooooooo!

I am a Great Irruminati!  Don't you too want to be a Great Irruminati?  Oh pretty prease say you want to be a Great Irruminati!  You hurt my serf esteem if you not want to be a Great Irruminati!  I know how to make you want be a Great Irruminati:  for the next ten persons what emair our emair address -- Thepwerfulilluminati@gmail.com -- we give you a speciar bonus...we wave any shipping fees in return for you getting nothing.  If you want something, you have to pay shipping fees which we get into rater.

What you get after you pay the rater-discussed shipping fees is a promise* of birryuns and birryuns of dorrars, a free mud hut furr of dead fries on the outskirts of Ragos, Nigeria, AND you get a monthry arrowance of 2500 West African francs**.

I know you persons in Deadtroit think this is great bargain!

So make my serf esteem go gooder, and say to me "I want to be Great Irruminati" today!  Operators are standing by watching gorirras smash and rip off their phones.  Don't wait...emair or phone NOW***.

*  Promise one thing...derivery another
**  worth about 9 US dorrars 
***  rong as we have a working phone


This particular dispatcher of the "Great Illumi-nosedorks" didn't respond to Seymour's edit.  Perhaps they don't want a pet rock as a member.

"Do TOO!!!"

Illumi-not-again

In this case, all fraud and lots of mugus on the Nigerian side ;-)

Yes, my previous blog post on the illumi-knotheads has drawn a lot of visits, particularly from Nigeria.

Small wonder, since they've sent me yet another email (and posted it on my blog as well).

This one is perhaps a butt polyp more revealing than their first effort to give me the business.  Witness if you please:


Subject: Join Illuminati And Become Member And get Rich And Famous"

Easy way to join the Illuminati brotherhood in the world.  Kindly contact the Illuminati online registrations officer in USA through their email now:
join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

and you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the Satan and his representative
after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty away from your life now. So contact the online registrar at: join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

brotherhood of Illuminati...
NOTE BELOW...
YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE SUM OF 2MILLION DOLLARS AND A HOUSE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD...

Phone: +2348162448410
Join Us In Illuminati And Get Rich And Famous 

Every bit as non-convincing as their last effort, and with a third less syllables than their regular schpiel.

Which helped it not at all.

But I've apparently gotten under their skins.  So let's up the itch:

Subject: Join Illumi-anal-passage And Become Member And get Boned And Sodomized

Easy way to join the collection of meth-addicted Third World internet café junkies in a Third World sewer pit:  join their Illumi-nothing 'hood in the world.  No fuller outhouse pit will you find, of this we can assure you, hmmm?

Kindly contact the idiot at the Illuminuthouse desk that handles all online registrations when he's not busy fingering his bunghole.

join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

And when you join you shall be given a gold plated baboon loogie, a 'Douche Nozzle of the Year' plaque, and you shall be eligible to receive more abysmally stupid emails from a Satan-wannabe, his jackwagoned representative, and you will belong to a collection of simpering mugu boneheads who think masturbating is messing with their boss.

Please note that here in the Nigerian chapter of illuminot-now-I-have-nut-ache, sacrifice of someone or thing close to you is needed to prove to us your dedication to being a total asshat like we of the illumi-nippleheads are.

If you want wealth and fame in life, get off your ass, get a job and work for it. Joining us will get you nothing but mugu-dumb.

See what we just did there?

So contact the online registrar at:    join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com  For the first 100 applicants, we have a free photo of you posing with a boko haram transgender goat raper named Ogun.

Even more special:  for the first 1000 applicants they will be entered into a drawing to win..THE SUM OF 2 MILLION DOLLARS AND THE OUTHOUSE IT SITS UNDER.  PLEASE NOTE THAT

THE MONEY IS UNDERNEATH A YEAR'S WORTH OF WILDEBEEST FECES, BUT TO HAVE THIS

FAME AND FORTUNE WE ARE SURE YOU WILL BE WILLING TO DIG FOR IT.

Questions?  Phone: +2348162448410  (that we're in Nigeria should pretty much clear up any questions).

Join Us In Illuminumb-nuts And Get What Naïve Morons Usually Do   


I'm a bit disappointed that this crop of illumi-nitwits apparently read the edit...guess I'm an illumi-no-way...  ;-)