I Get To Meet Sandra Bullock!

Why the HELL didn't they tell me this before???  THIS would have made ALL the difference!!!

Not really, but it's a really nice thought.

My latest Illumi-nipplehead -- the one from the monkey business post a few days ago -- accepted my character's application for membership.

Even though Myra Manes is dead and 'living' six feet under a well knowd Los Angeles cemetery.

I guess -- like democrap "get out the fraudulent voters" --  they're desperate for memberships.

Here's my "acceptance" letter:


Okay now u have filled the form here are
the benefits of joining.
Once you pay your registration fee,
you   will be initiated and will be
given the sum of 5hundred
thousand   dollars and you will be payed
150thousand dollars every month.
Then you will be granted free
transportation to five good
countries  any time any day ( UK, Canada,
Australia, France,spain).
You will be given protection, power
wealth and long life.
NOTE: all this will be given to you if
only  you pay your registration fee.
the fee will cost you 150 USd  


*TOING*  Dang, there's always that cotton pickin' *TOING* croppin' up h'yar with these fellers.


Naturally, before my chara-orpse starts to play widdem a tad, I sent 'em one more email to see if they'd answer a few questions, not expecting them to read them too closely as you'll note...and what's more, arrange something that any one of my characters, my pet rock...hell, even me...would appreciate for reals:

I have some grave questions for you.

What happens if I want to have my remains remain in the US, rather than UK, Canada, Australia, France or Spain?  Can I do that?

 

I am happy to receive $500,000 initially; but with that as a base, I don't need $150,000 a month.  I and the groundskeepers would be content with $25,000 a month.  Can that be arranged?

 

The Illuminati will save further money on me because I have my own personal, very spiritual  protection.

 

I thought I saw somewhere that as a member of the Illuminati, I can meet famous people.  Can you dig me up the opportunity to meet Sandra Bullock?  I am always been in love with Sandra Bullock.  If you can arrange for me to have meet with her, I will spare no expense from beyond the astral bridge to pay your fee with dispatch.

 

Last question, can I get something other than an ebola vaccination with membership?  I'm kinda beyond the need for stuff like that.

Please advise soonest.  

 

 

My character was all excited, of corpse, awaiting the response from the reading-dysfunctional Illuminipplehead.  He didn't disappoint either with his reading dysfunction or my character's biggest request:

 

 

you can leave any were you want

everything you want will be done
no ebola virus

after you join i can arrange you to meet Sandra Bullock personal.   first you must pay 150USd, then i arrange you meet her.  

 

 

O...M...G....my character gets to meet SANDRA BULLOCK!!!!

 

 

It's about now that my pet rock, Seymour, gives me that "remind me to tell you how many ways and reasons that you're a doofus" look and face palm.  Of course, Seymour's right:  why would Sandra Bullock want to meet Myra Manes, let alone the idjit behind the scambaiting character?

 

*Sigh*...it was good for a nanosecond dream.

 

At any rate, I don't want to disappoint Mr. Illumiknothaid just yet, so Myra lays it on:

 

If you can arrange for me to meet and have an intimate meal with Sandra Bullock, YOU GOT ME LOCK, CRYPT AND COFFIN!  How do I send you this 150 usd?  

 

 

I knowd that would get a positive response:

 

 

via western union  

 

 

That's definite enough.  To whom do I send it and do you need the test question/answer thingee used? 

 

 

receivers name: Akhidenor Endurance

receivers Country: Nigeria
receivers State: Edo state

test question: color

test answer: Red

once you done with the payment send me the

senders name

MTCN PIN  

 

 

Now it's time to let them sit on pins and needles awhile, awaiting Myra Mane's email that a Western Union has been sent....from across the Third Astral Plane.  Them Lagos Nigeria Western Unioners never seem to figure out how to download them.

Now we start that 'game' between *the living* and *the dead*:


It wasn't easy, but the wire is sent.  I await confirmation from your end.  


what is the information you wire?  we need mtcn pin.  


I wired it to you just as you instructed above.  I see that I did forget the pin...it's ****  


what is that?  we need the mtcn pin please.  


Everytime I send or type a pin, that's what it shows up as...****.  It worked the same way on your side of the Astral Bridge as it does here.  It's a security thing I'm told.  


what bridge you speak of?  do not make games with illuminati.  We are serious cult.   what is mtcn pin now if you want be member.  


I'm telling you, it's ****.  And the bridge is how you were able to contact me.  It's the Astral Bridge that spans from the physical realm to the Third Astral Plane, where I am.  Which reminds me...you need to tell your physical realm Western Union office to retune their receiver for an astral wire of funds...tell them to try .00075 mhz.  That should allow them to access the pin **** and collect the $150 usd.  


unless you pay the 150USd, you cannot get the benefit of the illuminati.  i do not understand this astral bridge you speak of.  send fee now or you will not be joined.    


The money is sent and the pin is **** just as I told you.  You simply MUST tell your Western Union dah-dit-dah-dit-dahs to adjust their receiver to .00075 MHz or they will never be able to receive the money from across the Astral Bridge.  As Idi Amin always says, "this is very important".  


this your last change to give us mtcn pin or you be deny joined illuminati.  Give us mtcn pin now.   


You mean that after I fulfill all of my Earthly obligations, you'd deny me that meeting with Sandra Bullock, because YOU are too stupid to tell the Western Union employee the simple instructions I give you?  What are you, the Nigerian Illumi-dumbies?   


u are jackass.  bye. 


No, I'm unaffiliated.  No one in the party of jackasses worth voting for.  I might support an elephant, but not literally.  Sell.  

Sadly, that brought an end to our communications, and my character's one and probably only chance to have a personal meeting with Sandra Bullock.

Dang...but it was good for another *face palm* from my pet rock...