He Has Something Against Me Now

Hon. Dr Kudi Mangawata declared in his email header that "I do not have anything against you".  Then he proceeded to prove that he intended to before he was done:

Dear Sir,

My name is Hon.Dr Kudi Mangawata Director, Risk & Management C.B.N (Central Bank of Nigeria). I believe you don’t know me before but after a serious thought, I decided to reach you personally because I do not have anything against you, but your so called partners, Usman Bello and his partners. Again I strongly believe that basic of our religion is IMAAN and the structure is telling truth.

Some Time ago, your partner Usman Bello approached me and requested that I assist him to program your name on the Payment Central Computer system as beneficiary for transfer deal of part payment ($10.5M) to use the strategy and transfer $10.5M by registering you as beneficiary and Transfer the money to your account through United Nations to enable them contact you and transfer the money to your account. We agreed that i will do it but it must be on the condition that i will get 20% of the total fund, 50% for YOU and 30% for them. but can you believe that After i programmed your name on the payment computer as the legal beneficiary, your so called partners started playing pranks with me trying to push me out of the business completely, But they don't know that as a professional Banker, they can not outsmart me, that was why I changed the information without his notice to make sure that whatever you do trying to receive the money will not be possible.

Because of his evil attitude, I changed even the payment (CODE) from the Central computer, which made it impossible for you to receive the payment no-matter what both of you try. I am aware that you have been bribing some officials to get approvals to enable you receive the money but all efforts were to no success. Rather they keep demanding fees ON and ON. Is it not funny that you are being asked to pay money in other countries before you will receive your money while the fund is here? Well, this is the cause of the problem. I am also aware that they have made efforts to be paid via London payment center but the arrangement did not work because of the wrong information I sent to them. Bear in mind that your payment will NOT and you will NEVER receive any payment from any OFFSHORE, CENTER IN GHANA, SOUTH AFRICA, USA, LONDON, DUBAI ETC)

The only luck you have is that nobody can claim this money without your consent even me, because it was registered on your name on the Computer data system this is the more reason your so called partner and other fraudsters ARE using the advantage to defraud you.

Have you asked yourself a question, How in this world can somebody call himself a diplomat and carry millions of Dollars in Cash and pass International Airports without inspection, It is only fools will fall for that. because i know in my own Country, you must declare the amount you have in you before you board airplane. Also be it know to you that any international Transaction goes through Bank to Bank Transfer, you can go and ask your banker. So stop Wasting your time and funds because it is like building Castle in the Air.
    NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER HERE ARE MY CONDITIONS.

(I) You MUST promise me NOT to allow any other person or party know about this and I will have 30% of the money then 70% for you because it is only two of us now. Again you must keep it highly confidential and secret. I sworn with my life NOT to allow this transaction work without my 100% involvement.

(ii) You MUST assure me that you will not betray me at last and my own share will be wired into the account i will provide or keep safe until we meet for sharing.

(iii) We can conclude the transaction with utmost SECRET and CONFIDENTIAL if you agree to adhere to my directives based on these conditions being acceptable by you, contact me immediately to enable us finalize all the arrangement.

As soon as we agree, i will use my position to perfect the arrangements on your behalf also update, authenticate and perfect all your documents and Code including the documents your partners procured through the back door while trying to double cross me. I will do all this for us to have a smooth transfer both now and after the money have got into your account.

If you agree with me, you must respond to me immediately through my private email: (mangawata_kuding@yahoo.com.sg) also make sure you call me on confidential Phone No: +234 8175584098 for full discussion. But If you do not agreed with my condition, i will advise you to forget about the funds because there is no way you can conclude the transfer without my notice, as far as I still remain the Director, Risk & Management.



So he doesn't have anything against me, eh?  Well....after this edit, he can get in line with hellary, the DNC and the rest of the left of feeling different on that score:

 From: cbnnig.com@gmail.com
> Subject: I do have all sorts of sh*t against you
> Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2016 04:53:59 -0700
>
> Dear Sir,
>
> My name is Hon.Dr Kudi Mangawata Director, Risk & Mugubooga W.M.N (Witchdoctor Ministry of Nigeria). I believe you don’t know me before but after a serious thought, I decided to reach you personally because I do have all sorts of sh*t against you and your so called partners, Usman Bello and his partners. Again I strongly believe that basic of our religion is SH*TRIA and the structure is telling lies to infidels.
>
> Some Time ago, in a galaxy parallel to this one, your partner Usman Bello approached the big horned thing in my anxiety closet and requested that I assist him to become a transgender so that he can use the women's rest room when he visits NOW in Washington DC. We agreed that i will do it but it must be on the condition that i will get to decline to see Hellary Clinton in a 5 XXL thong.  But can you believe that After i started to process this your so called partners started playing pranks with me, making pictures of hellary, Nancy Bela Pelosi, Debbie 'Medusa' Schultz and other beasts of the DNC appear in my photo feeds all the f**king time.

> Because of his evil attitude, I changed email addresses, which made it impossible for you to block these pictures no-matter what both of you try. I am aware that you have been bribing some online officials to get approvals to enable you to block these pictures but all efforts were to no success. Rather they keep demanding fees ON and ON. Is it  funny that you are being asked to pay money in other countries before you will be spared pictures of hellary and other DNC beasts in oversized butt thongs?

> Well, this is the cause of the problem. I Have you asked yourself a question, How in this world can somebody call himself a diplomat and carry millions of pictures of hellary in an oversized butt thong without inspection, It is only fools will fall for that. because i know in my own Country, you must declare what's in your wallet before you board airplane. Also be it know to you that any international treaty banning pictures of the beasts of the DNC in oversized butt thongs must originate here. So stop Wasting your time because it is like building Castle in the Air.  You've got a dream you want the world to share, and castle walls just lead you to despair.

> NOW IF YOU WANT TO BE SPARED THESE FRIGHTFUL PHOTOS HERE ARE MY CONDITIONS.
>
> (I) You MUST promise me NOT to allow any other person or party know about this.
>
> (ii) You MUST assure me that you will not betray me at last and expose me to Madeleine Albright in a 5 XXL butt thong.
>
> (iii) We can conclude the transaction with utmost SECRET and CONFIDENTIAL if you agree to adhere to my directives based on these conditions being acceptable by you, contact me immediately to enable us finalize all the arrangement.
>
> As soon as we agree, i will use my position to throw a genital booga booga  on the arrangements and perfect all photos to be send to you including the worst ones from the hellary photo shoot for her national crimepaign  procured through the back door while trying to double cross me. I will do all this to you because I am a Nigerian sack of sh*t.  And because Marie Harf promised me a signed picture of Chris Matthews in a 6 XXL butt thong trying to have a leg tingle with Moochelle Obola.
>
> If you agree with me, you must be out of your friggin' mind...but go ahead and respond to me immediately through my private email: (mangawata_kuding@yahoo.com.sg) also make sure you call me on confidential Phone No: +234 8175584098 for full discussion.
>
> Regards.
> Hon. Dr Kudi Mangawata
> Director, Risk & Mugubooga

The resulting silence from the scammer's email addy says oh yeah...I'm on his caca list now  ;-)

The Pet Rock Executes An Edit

My pet rock, Seymour, loves editing.

He especially loves editing North Korean despot Kim Jong Un.

So when Seymour saw that "Dear Leader" had executed another of his top aides, Seymour was all over it in true pet rock 'edit' style:



Kim Jong Un Executes Top Military Chief, This Time Using Hellary To Do It

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un continues executing members of his inner circle in ways so exotic one marvels at how he comes up with these methods.

The latest reported execution – see what I just did there? – of Ri Yong Gil, chief of the North Korean military’s general staff, is by the most heinous method yet. He was executed by “pernicious mind f**k”, according to South Korean anonymous sources: he was forced to endure looped audio of Hellary Clinton speech shrieking while viewing her in a 5x thong.

Details about North Korea’s government are notoriously hard to obtain, but South Korean sources say that Ri’s execution and the particularly gruesome manner of carrying it out was part of Kim’s effort to strengthen his probability of South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone making a Team America World Police sequel starring hisself.
 
It’s also believed that Ri was facing charges for abusing his power by farting during a Kim Jong Un speech to “Feel the Bern” college zombies at KnockWurst Liberal Arts College in Whackadoodle, CA, shortly before his execution.

Ri, who took up the top military job with considerable trepidation in 2013, was considered to be one of Kim’s next targets for exotic execution, as he frequently accompanied the leader on tours of army units and factories, knowing that one faux pas would “get 'er done”.

Unnecessary speculation arose around his coming fate after he missed two key national events in North Korea - a meeting of senior flush toilet technician officials, and a rally to urge Parker/Stone to make that damned sequel for Kim Jong Un so he might increase the starving population's rice ration to 1,000 calories a day.

During the senior flush toilet technician meeting, Kim called for a single minded effort on the part of all of North Korea to double the number of flush toilets in Pyongyang to 2.

Last July, South Korea’s intelligence service said that at least 70 North Korean officials have been executed by increasingly unusual and exotic means since Kim’s inauguration of Warner Brothers-style Loony Toons executions in 2011.

Before Ri’s death, 69 others were dispatched by a plethora of unusual and exceptionally cruel means, including being eaten by hungry dogs, an anti-aircraft gun, or having to meet with Jimmy Carter. Future methods may include being forced to stare at a Medusa-like photo of Debbie Wasserman Schultz, or having to watch the entire collection of Kardashian reality TV shows.

Outside experts say that the increasingly brutal methods of execution indicate that the young leader is a real prick.

I don't think that Seymour cares any more whether he eventually garners a Pulitzer for these edits or not.  I think he's hoping for a cameo when Parker/Stone finally cave and do that Team America sequel.

"Am NOT!!!"

That Left A Mark

Another scammer trots out a well worn scam template.

Another scammer gets edited.

Another chance to piss off Hellary's stupor volunteers.

And my pet rock, Seymour, had nothing to do with this one.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!"

Guess he so wanted to edit this one.

Anyway, meet someone that, at least in the pre-intro of her email, was listed as a "princess" when contacting my scambaiting character:


The faithful believe.

I want you to read this letter very carefully and i must apologize for bringing this massage to your box without any formal introduction due to the urgency confidential of this issue. I am happy to know you.

How are you? Hope everything goes well. Princess Mrs Arslan Nafisat Kayihan Mahzun I am, I was browsing online about your country when I found your email and I decided to contact you.

I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart, I want to tell you this because I don't have any other option than to tell you as I was touched to open up to you, I married to Mr.Melik Mahzun who was exporter of Gold from Burkina Faso mining to worldwide for nine years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days. Since his death I decided not to remarry, When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$ 8.5M (Eight Million Five hundred Thousand Dollars) in bank and presently this money is still in bank He made this money available for exportation of Gold from Burkina Faso mining to worldwide.

Recently, I suffer from throat cancer terminally ill. My Doctor told me that i am condemned to certain death due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness .Having known my condition I decided to hand you over this money to take care of the less-privileged people, you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want you to take 30 Percent of the total money for your personal use While 70% of the money will go to charity" people in the street and helping the orphanage. I grew up as an Orphan and I don't have anybody as my family member, just to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. Am doing this so that God will forgive my sins and accept my soul because these sicknesses have suffered me so much.

As soon a s I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank in Burkina Faso and I will also instruct the Bank Manger to issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of the money in the bank that is if you assure me that you will act accordingly as I
Stated herein.

I await your quick and prompt reply

Thanks
Mrs Arslan Nafisat Kayihan Mahzun  


Oh, it is SO time for an edit h'yar:

On Wednesday, January 13, 2016 4:28 AM, Mrs Arslan Nafisat Kayihan Mahzun <princessnayal.namtabal@yahoo.com> gripped by a Rapunzel moment from Airplane, pulls the plug on North Korea's internet and laughs hysterically all the way to Dearborn MI for a toilet paper looting escapade, and then got around to wrote:
 

The faithful believe that the return of Bloom County heralds in a new age of snorting the banana, devil bunnies devil bunnies.  It's an Opus thing when Bill the Cat dons a bed pan under a storm trooper helmet and Trump toupee, and farts The Gong Show theme music in accapella.

I want you to read this letter very carefully and i must apologize for bringing this massage to your box without any formal massage training due to the urgency confidential of this issue. I am happy to say you don't know me and probably wouldn't care to after you see what I do to milkshakes and sneezes at my job in a McDonalds in Chicago.

How are you? Why am I asking?  I don't know because truly I don't care.  But I hope you're up on your Metamucil shots and you're regular, I guess. I have the honor this week to be Princess Mrs Arslan Nafisat Kayihan Mahzun, am of the queendumb of Hellarythighs Land, a country so screwed up that msnbc thinks we should be president because we have fat thighs as the special at KFC this month.  Be that as it may in Chappaquitthat, I was browsing online about your country when I found your email and I decided to use the following picture as a basis for contact you.

I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes because the toilet seat dropped on my winkee -- my body doesn't always adapt well to the roles I'm supposed to play -- and now my neck is as long as ET's.  That's gonna leave a mark.  I want to tell you this because I don't have any other turtleneck sweaters for a neck that looks like a goose funnel.  Do you? 

 

I married to Mr.Melik Mahzun who was an Olympic champion once and started eating Wheaties and now he is Caitlyn Jenner with a winkee too.  'Cept he didn't catch his in a toilet seat.  Bastard.  He was a researcher in anal sex with goats in an effort to repopulate dodos in CNN's foreign bureau because there's not yet enough stupid there, before he died in the year 2015 of colon dry heaves.  We were once discussing marriage for eleven years until we saw a picture of Hellary in a thong and he died after a brief and very violent illness that lasted seconds after his mind scrub failed to purge that image from his mind's eye. Since his death I decided not to eat twatwaffles or work for anyone that emails pictures of genital humidors to Bill Clinton at 3am.  

When my late husband was alive he gave speeches about the benefits of painful rectal itch to Scams Without Borders, hindquartered at the Democrap National Committee (Debbil Washingmachine Schmuck, chairpoison) and presently he still has several speeches that were scheduled and not as yet delivered.  One you heard from the fauxtus on this past Tuesday delivered before Congress with all the audible raspberries edited out.  Only way you could hear the words.

Recently, I suffer from that toilet seat/winkee injury. My Doctor told me that i am condemned to looking like a cross between Debbil Washingmachine Schmuck and Jar Jar Binks due to it and the cancellation of my hellthscare by Obolascare. The one that really disturbs me most is that image of Hellary in a thong.  Having known my condition I decided to hand you over to the IRS for failure to not laugh at the image of my goose neck after the toilet seat/winkee thing, you douchenozzle.

 

I want you to take 30 Percent of the fauxtus sotu speech, edit it in Liechtensteinian, and send it to 70% of the monkeys at the Chicago Zoo.  This will in some totally non sequitur way not be helping people in the street and organage. I am doing this so that God will forgive my sins and forget about that night at the strip club in DC with goats, Josh Earnest and an armadildo.

As soon a s I receive your reply I shall foul myself repeatedly in shock.

I await your quick and prompt reply with a marginal Depends in place.

 

Thanks
Princess Arslan Nafisat Kayihan Mahzun

arslanmelikmah@gmail.com

Stupor Volunteer of Hellary for Prison 2016

"Only term she's fit to serve" -- Bill Clinton   

 

 

I don't imagine that I'm terribly popular in hellaryland just now...or with a scammer in Burkina Fatso.

The Pet Rock Edits Kim Jong Un And Hellary...Agin

My pet rock, Seymour, read somewhere that German researchers had looked into North Korea's own home-made computer operating system.

Anyone within 100 city blocks could have heard the *TOING* that went off in Seymour's "editing gone wild" mind after reading that.

So here he is, that pet rock with a penchant for editing Kim Jong Un:

Paranoid: North Korea's computer operating system mirrors an egg roll FAIL

Seymour PetRock – WTFNS
December 27, 2015

SINGINGPORES/SEOUL (WTFNS) - North Korea's “high tech” version of a computer operating system mirrors its pudgemeister's political style, according to two German Sheperds who have peed on it and had to run when “das spitzen undt sparken midde smoke undt schtuff” started.  They admit to being hundsfotts, but have revealed the challenges Pyongyang faces in trying to embrace the benefits of computing how many free kimshi egg rolls makes three at City Wok in South Park.
The researchers, Bruno and Rolf of German Sheperd ASPCA, spoke to WTFNS – long as we had treats to bribe them with – before leaving to chase postal employees trying to deliver mail in Arkansas.

The operating system is not just the FAILED copy of western ones that were new in basic Atari systems in the late 1970s, but it has the ghosts chasing Mario actually spying on their online users.
North Korea, whose rudimentary intranet system does not compute but occasionally farts, has been developing its own operating system for the express purpose of directly contacting Trey Parker and Matt Stone to encourage them – in typical North Korean diplomatic intimidation style – to make a sequel to Team America World Police, that stars Kim Jong Un.

This latest version, written around 2013, is based on a version of Fun with Dick and Jane called Kim Jong Un Does Windows Millennium No Better Than A Crispy Duck and has eschewed the previous version's Windows '95 feel for Apple's Meadow Muffin version — perhaps a nod to leader Kim Jong Un, who like his father has been photoshopped near McDonalds, craving a Big Mac.

But under the hood there's a lot that's unique, including its own 'roid raging hamster that encrypts files by shredding them for bedding. "This is a full blown clusterf**k of a “needs an operation” system where they have code no one can read...including them," barked Bruno.

This, the researchers say, suggests North Korea wants to avoid any possibility of looking “western”, preferring Middle Ages abacus which they are convinced that no one can read.  "Maybe this is a bit fear-driven," woofed Rolf. "They may want to avoid doing something that puts them on Kim Jong Un's exotic executions list.

Bruno and Rolf growled that they had no way of knowing how many computers were actually dumbed down enough to run what passes for the North Korean software.

While primate computer use is on the rise in the Third World, visitors to the country say most computers still use Atari systems that ran Pong.
    
NO TAMPONS

The Kim Jong Un Version 1.1 operating system makes it very hard for anyone to tamper with it. Operate with it. Sh*t or wind their watch with it. If a user makes any effort to actually use the system — like trying to turn it on — the computer will display Kim Jong Un shaking his head “no” and pointing an anti-aircraft gun at the user.

Kim Jong Un Version 1.1 also addresses a more pressing concern: cracking down on the growing underground exchange of pictures of hellary clinton in a thong.

Illegal media like pictures of hellary clinton in a thong are usually passed from person-to-person in North Korea using a forklift.

There's no sign in the operating system, the researchers say, of the kinds of weight management capability that North Korea needs to cope with pictures of hellary clinton in a thong.

"It really looks like they've just tried to build an operating system out of Legos and Lincoln Logs with ramen noodles for cultural show," whined Bruno. That includes a Korean word processor that can also slice, dice and make julienne kimshi, a calendar and an app for composing threatening emails about world annihilation if Parker and Stone don't make that movie that Kim Jong Un wants made.

North Korea is not the only country to try to ban pictures of hellary clinton in a thong. Cuba, China, Russia and Liechtenstein have signed on to ban those pictures, too.   Syria and Libya have ordered more.


Seymour allegedly got an angry email from Michael Moore, stating that "we're all hellary Clinton in a thong".

He might convince himself of that...he and hellary shop the same super sized thong store.