Ghana, The UN, An Edit and More

I don't know why Marie Barf -- Ms State Department Hash Tagger -- is pouting.  After all, she didn't get left out here.

Or mebbe that's why she's pouting...'cuz she didn't.

Once again, the UN is trying to compensate one of my characters for a scam my character wasn't scammed on...and in so doing, trying to scam my character.

Kinda like the DNC.

Here's the gist of the scam:

World Bank Assisted Program
Directorate Of International
Payment And Transfer.
Debt Reconciliation/Audit Unit
United Nations Headquarters,
New York, NY 10017, U.S.A.

Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX028 United Nations.

Dear Beneficiary,

We are authorize by United Nations Secretary General after the last UN Security Council meeting with the G8, and the Governing body of the United Nations Debt Reconciliation Unit, to investigate the unnecessary delay on your payment, recommended and approved in your favor. During the course of our investigation, we discovered with dismay that your Lottery Winning and inheritance/Compensation payment has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt officials of the Bank and Government regulatory organs in Nigeria, Asia, Australia, Europe, Africa, America, Canada, North America, and South America who are trying to divert your funds into their private accounts.

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS and WORLD BANK To pay 500 people from your country as a result of they Lottery Winning, contract payment and Compensation as victim of Internet scam. The United Nations has decided to pay you Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) each. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the lucky person to be paid this amount, so get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payment process of your Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) only.

This email is to 500 selected lucky people of the countries that have been scammed or extorted money from because of their contract payment execution in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate all the Lottery Winners and scam victim with the sum of Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) each. This includes every foreign contractors that may have not yet received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems or irregularities etc. We found your email in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and has been signed by the United Nations Board of Directors and Trustees from the WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMMED.

Be clarify that this fund has been approved in your favor and duly signed by the United Nations Financial Department, United Nations Board of Directors and Trustees from the WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMMED, and also note that your Fund will be release can either be release to you through the following method (Via Bank to Bank Wire Transfer, Via Automatic Teller Machine ATM MASTERCARD, Via Electronic On-Line Banking System, Via Bank Draft and Via Diplomatic Delivery Means) and the Chief Protocol Officer, in charge of the Fund Release Unit Mr Kwasi Evans at Bank of GHANA have been authorize to handle the release process of your fund per your chosen method you want to use to receive your Fund from the above listed means. You are hereby advised without delay to stop all contact going on between you and anybody on Internet over the claim of your Fund because you will end up at nothing with them as they have no Fund for you and you must understand that we are here to ensure that you receive your fund without any further problem, so follow our instruction and contact Mr Kwasi Evans for the claim of your Fund.  


It goes on to blather about who and how my character must contact in Ghana to get what's coming to my character....*wink snort chortle snerx*

So while Hellary's email scam continues to fester like the pus infected giant zit it is, my character's edit of the scam will combine the two...and thensome:

Word Bank Assisted Pogrom
Directorate Of International
Word Bank Loans And Transfer.
Twatwaffle Reconciliation/Awdamn Unit
United Nations Hindquarters,
New York, NY 10017, U.S.A.

Our douche is our nozzle.

Achtung:

We are authorize by United Nations Suckretary Genital after the last UN Suckurity Council meeting with the GesusHChrist, and the Governing body of the United Nations Leftover By Cannibals Reconstruction Eunuch, to investigate the unnecessary left declination on your bat pate recommended and approved in assorted flavors. During the intercourse with our inflatable hellary sex toy, we discovered with dismay that Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Nancy Bela Pelosi, Dianne Frankenfeinstein and Barack Obola are all of the same gender neutrality as that of a petrifried tree stump in Burundi.  Bill Clinton's eunuchversity of female genital intern humidors is nonplused both here and in Nigeria, Asia, Australia, Europe, Africa, America, Canada, North America, and South America; but strangely enough, not on Uranus.  They've taken no notice.

This is to bring to your notice that we are disinclined from the UNITED NATIONS and WORD BANK To spay 500 people from your country as a result of their having had sex with inflatable sex toys that look like Hellary, which as we all know is an Internet scam. The United Nations has decided to spay you as part of the 500. You are listed and approved for this spayment because your antecedence is dubious at best, and your ass looks like Elijah Cummings when he sneezes, so get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate spayment process that we have made as bureaucratically obtuse as anything the DNC mishandles...which is about everything.

This email is sent randomly to 500 selected twatwaffles of the countries that have been scammed by inflatable hellary sex toys..except in the basement of the DNC, where hellary nutcrackers are all the rage.   The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to constipate all the residents of Dearborn so that the brown note may be employed in a most unimaginable way possible.  This includes every foreign contributor to the Clinton Crimedation, and people that have had an unfinished genital rebush that failed due to Government problems or irregularities etc. 

Be clarify that this email has been fermenting in hellary's primate server hidden in Jen Psucki's ass at the State Dept and already has a hashtag campaign being set up by Marie Barf for release in time for a weekend at Bernie's.  

Be informed that you are further persondated to quickly stop using gender assigned rest rooms until all the gorillas in Cinncinati has had gender reassignments.  For that one you must contact the Bank of Ghana because that is the only place hellary is still receiving illegal crimepaign contributions from in exchange for her inflatable sex toys being helium fueled there.  This is because one of Barf's hashtags claims that Ghana is safe, peaceful and conducktive to transact such huge inflatable hellary sex toys with helium without being indicted  by government agencies. You are advised to stop any further communalcation with Fox News or any conservative talk radio source because you are going to screw up hellary's coronation as the most corrupt wench that ever had to pardon herself at her assumed inauguration. Adhere to this very instruction and you will likely regret it. Find below the contact details of KWASI EVANS. CONTACT HIS OFFICE ASAP,

Contact information:

Bank Name: BANK OF GHANA

Contact Person: MR. KWASI EVANS

Position: Chief Protocol Officer, Hellary Sex Toy Inflation Release Department

Bank Address: One Thorpe Road, Accra, Ghana

Email: bankofgh.kwasie@gmail.com

Telphone#: +233262456791

We expect your urgent attention to this email to enable us monitor this clusterf**k effectively. Most importantly we advise you to follow the instruction of Mr. Kwasi Evans as we have assigned him to mishandle the process of the release of your very own hellary inflatable sex toy complete with authentic and autographed life sized 6 XXXL butt thong.  Respond soonest without any further delay.


MR. STAN PEGE
Douche Nozzle Ad Hork Unit
UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK

A Monica Lewinsky stained dress production

 

The Bank of Ghana, the UN, the World Bank...none of them has responded to my edit.  My pet rock, Seymour, thinks that the DNC and Marie Barf have me on a *list*.  They won't be the first or last  ;-)

 

WHO Gets It First

The picture will make sense to you shortly.

Got me an email from "the" World Health Organization, that read like this h'yar:

World Health Organization(WHO)

WHO Headquarters

Avenue Appia 20

1211

Geneva 27

Website; www.who.int

YOUR total FUND IS IN CARE OF THE WHO

            The World Health Organization (WHO) is a specialized agency of the United Nations (UN) that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. The WHO is a member of the United Nations Development Group. Its predecessor, the Health Organization, was an agency of the League of Nations.

the united nations usually disburse funds every year to different individuals all over the world,The beneficiaries are been selected through honor, country appoint, humanitarian duties, and randomly email selections...

           You have been appointed this years lucky beneficiary and we would be very happy to assist you in getting your fund across to your country, all we need is your approval,,, it saddens us that most of these funds that the UNITED NATIONS GIVES OUT, doesn't actually gets to the desired destination, its either been cornered by the bank or BY the greedy officials working for the UNITED NATIONS,,, we have crooks every where and one have to be very careful,

the united nations boards doesn't even check if the fund is actually been delivered to the right beneficiary...

          So its in that regards that the united nations entrusted us the WHO to take care of your transaction till it gets to you, we are trusted with this because we have already sacrificed our time and life just for humanity, and this is a part of humanitarian work,, we can never treat you bad, just like all these fakes banks and companies whom have been handling your transactions for years and they keep on asking you for fees or documents...

        Please i want you to give us the permission to close this deal once and for all, we promise to get the fund across to you once you follow the instructions..

       The reasons you have not been receiving your funds is due to the fact that the agents or bank officials handling your transactions, are only after what they will benefit, so they devise these means to be estorting money from you, but i want you to know that i can never be a part to this evil plots, i have been helping people get there funds for the past three years and 2 months now with some days in it.. and i have never ever failed anyone, i wouldn't say its easy to get your fund across to you so easily, but i have my own method, thanks to my God father whom happened to be chief of IMF ,, He holds a very strong post at the IMF , and he will be standing as my attorney too, because he is a lawyer,,, so with that, i can be able to deliver your fund to you without any one stopping me, or asking for documents or fees,, this will be the easiest way to get your fund across to you,, all you have to do to get this done, is just approve of it, and you are to send just only $110 usd so that we can get the IMF seal from the IMF HEADQUARTER,,,with the help of my God father and the WHO ...

     please i want you to try and understand that im not here to deceive you, im only trying to find means on how to help you get your fund, i know i will be able to get this fund across to you without any problem or fees upon fees.. 

please just give me a benefit of a doubt, and entrust this transaction in my care, i will promise to put in my life if it comes to that, just to make sure you get this fund,,,  

     Im not going to ask for much just to help you,, i have a price , yes i sure do have a price,, but my price will have to be when i have fulfilled my promise by helping you get this fund across to you successfully...

 Yes, i work with the WHO as well, world health organisation,, so this is somehow a  way to raise funds for the sick children all over Africa,, so we voluntarily gave up our life just for mankind, we are diplomatic agents too, but we work for people, and in return when i have delivered the fund to you, you will give to my organisation just 7% of the fund, so we can use to fight poverty and hunger all over the world..

       Please allow me to deliver the fund to you, i will also use WHO immunity to get the fund across. i will help you get your fund, i know i can, just entrust this in my care and watch me do the rest..with the WHO SEAL, i can never be stopped by any person, be it any country...

I have successfully helped so many people, and i will help you today,, your fund is in total of $45 000 000 million usd, and all i need you to do, is send just $110 today so i could acquire the IMF permit, which will be the only obstacle i will face...

 I want you to have in mind that this is not going to be a bank transaction, the fund is with the UN FUNDING DEPARTMENT, banks has been denied to carry out transactions for now untill the rate of bank scams, with courier companies is resolved,

we the WHO will make sure you receive your fund..

I WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU WILL SEND ME YOUR FULL DETAILS..

NAME..

COUNTRY...

ADDRESS..

PHONE NUMBER....

i will also like you to send the fee to the office incharge so i can take up the transaction from there.. you can use western union, money gram. ria. wari

FORWARD THE FEE TO THE AGENT INVOLVED,,,

RECEIVERS NAME.... SAMUEL NWASOR

COUNTRY.. BENIN REPUBLIC

AMOUNT..$110

TEXT QUESTION... CODE

TEXT ANSWER... 101

please let us know when you have send the fee...

To contact a Member of Parliament, please contact the Information Service at:

Toll-free (WASHINTON): 1 (360) 362-7427

Telephone: 1 (613) 992-4700

TTY: 1 (559) 223-3513

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME   INSPECTOR DAVID ZONGO  

 

 

Very nice.  Now, let's see if the scammer can tell WHO hit John and from which direction:

 

 

Subject: YOU'RE IN CARE OF THE WHO

WHO (WHO)

WHO Hindquarters

Avenue Appia 20

1211

Geneva 27

Website; www.who.int

YOU'RE IN CARE OF THE WHO

            The WHO (WHO) is on first.  Depending on WHO you talk to, the WHO  was established in 1938, 1963 or 1964. WHO is on first, smashing guitars, or time leaping ever since.

           You have been appointed this years lucky benef**ktory and we would be very happy to assist you in getting ready to recite the entire WHO is on first routine to your country, all we need is your approval.  It saddens us that most of those we contact don't know that WHO is on first, what's on second, and I don't know is on third.  WHO wants to know WTF is up with that?

          So its in that regards that the united nations entrusted WHO to take care of your baseball knowledge, base guitars and time base jumping till it gets to you.  WHO WHO WHO...WHO are trusted with this because we have already sacrificed our time for to not be fooled again, and this is a part of what's on second, WHO can never treat I don't know on third, just like all these fake Pete Townsends whom have been mishandling guitars for years and they keep on asking you for what year it is that the Dr is in and whether Horton heard a who then or later...

 

        Please i want you to give WHO the permission to close this deal with Tomorrow and for all, we promise to get WHO to first once you follow the instructions..

       The reasons you have not been clear about WHO is due to the fact that the agents of darkness and foul balls are confusing What, I don't know and Roger Daltry for a time leaping Doctor of dubious antecedence and Yesterday.  Well, thanks to my God father whom happened to be chief of IMF, WTF and BFR, he holds a very strong post and WHO is well known to him and he will be standing beside himself as my atturkey because he is a member of the bar down the street...so with that, i can be able to get WHO on first without WHAT being THROWN OUT in 1997.  And you are to send just only $110 usd to WHO so that we can get the IMF seal to quit stealing fish from Fishyman's Woof near the IMF HINDQUARTERS.

     Please i want you to try and understand that WHO on first is here to deceive you, im only trying to find ways and means to get today and WHO to switch on first. 

please just give me a benefit of a doubt, and you'll come to doubt the benefit.  i will promise to put in my wife if it comes to that -- I never liked her anyway -- just to make sure you get f**ked...er..WHO on first.

 Yes, WHO is on first so this is somehow a  way to renew The Gong Show on Dimeolodian so it can be shown all over Africa, though cannibals flee when the WHO is smashing guitars on the Smothers Brothers show.

       Please allow WHO to deliver 2003 to you all over again on first at the next concert where Townsend's belly falls out of his shirt during a Super Bowl  i know i can, just entrust this in my care and watch me screw the rest..with the WHO seal -- a fish stealing little bastard -- i can never be stopped by any person, be it any country... 

I WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU WILL SEND ME YOUR FULL DETAILS..

NAME..

COUNTRY...

ADDRESS..

PHONE NUMBER....

WHO is where?

i will also like you to send the fee to WHO on first so i don't know can advance from third.

FORWARD THE FEE TO THE AGENT INVOLVED,,,

RECEIVERS NAME.... WHO

COUNTRY.. BENIN REPUGNANT

AMOUNT..$110

TEXT QUESTION... On first

TEXT ANSWER... What's on second

please let WHO know that I don't know is on third and whether or not Horton heard that.

To contact a Member of Parliament, Marlboro, Lucky Strike, Camel, Chesterfields or some cheesy generic brand, please get off your ass and go to a nearby convenience store.

Toll-free (WASHINTON): 1 (360) 362-7427

Telephone: 1 (613) 992-4700

TTY: 1 (559) 223-3513

THANK WHO FOR YOUR TIME

INSPECTOR DAVID ZONGO

INSPECTOR OF WHO?  

 

 

The poor scammer didn't apparently understand what hit his email when he heard from my character:

 

 

I do not understand what this means?  

 

Horton hears a who...how about you?  

 

 

As a result of the ensuing silence, I guess I won't be getting my money from Who's on first or any of the others...

A Little Bit H'yah, A Little Bit Th'yah

A Helldoh, deceiving at a book store near someone...

Sometimes, email scams become somewhat boring.  When that's the case, my replies tend to become boring.  When that's the case, the exchanges don't amount to much.

Like for example this one:

We is Yunnan Jiahua Food Co. Ltd. Because of the development needs. we need Cheese powder.if you can cooperate with us on that, please reply my e-mail .Thank you!

I am looking forward to your reply.

E-mail Address: hanguoqiangv@163.com.

Best wishes.

 

One little tweak to the original email, and the reply went like this:

 

You need WHAT?  What is Chinese powder, please?  

 

Not the sharpest pair of scissors to run through the house with, these fellers:

 

Dear sir
Thank you for your letter.You can log on to our website to know us.A website;www.jiahua-food.com.
Please send the product details.Packaging, and price.In order to cooperation.
Cooperate happily.
Best regards.
HAN

 Happiness powder?  We have that on Page 5, next to the toilet snakes.
Bester Regards,
Foot  

And with that, so ended the catalogue scam.  Next, we has a "general" scam:


hello daer
i am Ms armyGeneral JohnwmicNicholson, I want to know if your account in this site is still valid. If so, please reply I have an important discussion with you please
here is my email: armygeneraljohnwmicnicholson@yahoo.co.uk
thanks armyGeneral JohnwmicNicholson  

Yes, it's valid.  Why?  

Thank you for your response email. As i said in my first message, I am General John Nicholson of the United States army. I am an army general and commander of a battalion in Kabul , Afghanistan . I am 48 years old and divorced. I intend to marry again when i return to America after the war in Afghanistan or when i finish my service here.I am an easy going man.

In the cause of the war here in Afghanistan,my command  which i head had a fierce battle with insurgents in Kabul and houses and other properties were destroyed, we find a two trunk boxes containing pure gold and documents certifying that it is 24 carat gold and country of origin of the gold is Dubai ,United Arab emirates in the middle east. I distributed one box of gold to my offices and i have one for myself. In war like this there is no guaranty of anything, there is always room for eventuality. It has occurred to me to send out this gold to a reliable person for safe keep till i an disengaged so that i can sell the gold and have some huge money to fall on in my retirement .From the documents in the box the of the gold is 24 carats and the weight is 240 Kilograms. I have searched the internet about gold so many time.The general price in world market is 1 kg of gold = 39,600 US dollars. I want you to check about it by yourself. So i am going to get 39,600.00 by 240 kg.

You will have 30% of the gold quantity or equivalent in cash when sold.What i want you to do for me is to receive the gold and keep it safe till i will leave here to come and meet you anywhere you are.

I hereby send my picture i took with my military uniform in Afghanistan.I want you to send to me your own picture and your full address including phone number.I can send the box of gold to you through one courier service functioning here.

Awaiting to your quick reply.

My quick reply was a quick edit that went sumpin like this:

 

Thank you for your response email. As i said in my first message, I am General John Nicholson of the United States army.  When I am specific, my rank is lesser of two emus, so I prefer to be General.  As such, I am an army general and commander of a battalion in Kabul , Afghanistan.  When I am specific, I am a latrine orderly in Somalia.  I am 48 years old and divorced after my wife's primate investigator caught me leaving a Motel 6 in Frankfurt with an inflatable Hellary crimepaign cut out.  

 

I intend to marry again when transspecied eunuch three peckered goats can use the rest rooms in ewe convents in Berkeley; I am assured that obola will okay that by October for that surprise, after the tuna-dog surprise he's having in September.  
 

In the cause of the war here on the college campus of Afghanistan Eunuchversity, my command  -- which i head -- had a fierce battle with genital camel warts in the cafeteria and lecture hall, with the result that houses and other properties were infested with little beasties that look like Debbie Wasserpuss Insults.  Afterwords we find a two trunks belonging to elephants that Tim Conway imitate as Siamese elephants on Carol Burnett Show, now retired and living in a Bailor and Barney Dingaling Circus retirement enclave in Dubai, where a lot of disunited Arab emirates are found in the middle east.

 

 

You find this interesting, yes?

 

Being a general moreso than a specific, in war like this there is no guaranty of anything, there is always room for eventuality. It has occurred to me to send out for some Chinese egg rolls to a reliable person for safe keep till i an disengaged so that i can smell the butt roses of Kabul Kaila, a 3XL belly dancer with a penchant for queefing during performances.  Yowsa.  That will about cap off my retirement.  From the documents in the trunk of the second elephant -- the first one sneezed and blew his documents to Benghazi -- you learn the next secret location of Hellary's email servers where she communicate with aliens and plans to give them a role in her jail term, since Bill will still be sleazing with "Energizer" and other female intern genital humidors at the Clinton Crimedation. 

 

 I have searched the internet and I thought I'd found true love...you met another and PHFFFFFFFFFFT you was gone.

 

You will have 30% of all that I haven't got, and that will leave me with 90% of what you haven't got.  I already don't like this Crummy Core math those liberal nippleheads created.

I hereby send my picture i took with my military uniform.  I assure you it's me as a general.  I'll send you a picture of me as a specific, if you insist.

 

Awaiting to your quick reply.

Gen.John Nicholson; Specific Olga Zugspitz

Whether he be general or specific, there was no mores have speaks with the General on this 'un.

At ease.

Another Scammer Reading Comprehension FAIL

Sad, isn't it?

Not as much as the reading comprehension FAIL of Sam Laidlaw.

Here you go:

i have something  to discuss with you, reply back. 


Back.  

Thanks very much for your urgent response.

I want you to be patient and read through the content of this mail to understand how we intend making you the sole beneficiary of the entire funds without complication and hitch free process.

I am Mr. W S H Laidlaw, Chief Executive Officer of Centrica plc, Director HSBC and A member of the Remuneration Committee.

A late client in our bank who was an investor made a numbered Fixed deposit for 48 calendar months, with a value of $224,500,000.00 USD (Two Hundred and Twenty Four Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only) in my bank HSBC Bank USA.

Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to my client so that you will be able to receive his funds. I have transferred the entire funds (Two Hundred and Twenty Four Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only) to an affiliate online bank before my Government would take custody of the funds due to no beneficiary and no one will ever come forward to claim it.

REQUIREMENT AS A NEXT OF KIN:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I am in contact with an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to my late client through obtaining the required document including the Certificate of Deposit to be issued in your name. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for onward custody of the funds by you from the online bank.

There is no risk involved in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. The funds are currently in custody of the online bank awaiting claim I would provide you the necessary paper works to forward to the online bank as confirmation that you are taking custody of the transferred funds and once the entire funds have been transferred to your home bank account from the online bank we shall share in the ratio of 50% each as Partners in this deal which I plan on investing my share of the funds in your country as co-partner with you.

For the attorney to begin the paperwork’s processing on your behalf, the below complete information’s would be required:

Full Name:

Age:

Full Contact/Postal Address:

Occupation:

Direct Phone Number:

Fax Number:

Your earliest response and decision to this detailed mail will be very much appreciated.

Your Partner,

W. S. H. Laidlaw.   

 

 

I haven't had much luck with schemes like this.  Do you have anything else to offer me?  

Dear Partner,
Thanks for your mail and your willingness to assist me on this deal. Please if you want us to proceed on this deal, kindly fill the below information's completely. 

For the attorney to begin the paperwork’s processing on your behalf, the below complete information’s would be required:

Full Name:
Age:
Full Contact/Postal Address:
Occupation:
Direct Phone Number:
Fax Number:

Your earliest response and decision to this detailed mail will be very much appreciated.

Your Partner,
W. S. H. Laidlaw.  


Are you a moron by birth or choice?  Re-read my prior response and get back to me with the reply I solicited.  


I do not understand your meaning.  Please kindly fill out the information's below so the attorney to begin the paperwork's processing on your behalf.




Okay, so you're a moron by choice.  I 'splained to you that I've had not much luck with these kind of schemes, and I asked if you had anything else to offer me.  It would appear from your replies that you do not.  Daring to assume that even an idiot like you can eventually figure out how to walk and chew gum at the same time, does that about sum up the gist of the conversation as had up to now?   


That apparently finally did  ;-)

Odds In the Ends

Yes, there's a point to the appearance of Cpl. Klinger from MASH.  And you won't have long to wait for it.

First, feast your eyes upon this effort to give me the business by Naomi Gagnon, who sent an email that was void of text in the body, 'cuz it was all jammed up in the header:

Hello, Greetings to You,Please permit me to introduce myself to you, I'm Miss Naomi Gagnon only daughter of late Dr.fabrice Gagnon,im 21 years old, I am a Victim war and polical Crises which cursed the death of my father My father left a big amount of money with the bank USD 4.5MILLION DOLLARS, and I don't know about this, it was on the 10th of October last year that our family lawyer kindly hand over to me the documents covering the deposit to me Please it is a long story that if I started to narrate all of them to you, you will start shedding tears over there, but I will give you Full details in your next mail as soon as i hear from you but kindly bear in mind that I need you to help me out of this my critical condition and help transfer this money to your account and assist me come over there for security of my life and the fund and start a new life and destiny I am anxiously waiting for your kind response Thanks once again and please extend my greeting to your family. Thanks and God bless you Miss Naomi Gagnon

Okay...now let's get to the point of Cpl. Klinger being in this edit, sorta:

Hello, Greetings to You,Please permit me to introduce myself to you, I'm Miss Naomi Gagnon only daughter of late Dr.fabrice Gagnon,im 21 years old, I am a transhemerroideral gender neutral eunuch of dubious antecedence with no bathroom to call my own, since we usually foul ourselves behind a tree hereabouts.  I've heard all about these safe zones on college campuses in America where delicate flowers are protected from hearing "trigger words" like "self responsibility", "self accountability", "common sense" and such, and I am very much the interested in coming there so I can find out what a bathroom is, and learn what are the "trigger words" that should cause me to empty my bowels while curled in a ball on the floor, whining because my poor widdow feewings was hurt.  

 

I probably need to learn these things because my father abuse sheep and goats when his inflatable girlfriend left him for Otto from Airplane.  

 

It so dramatized him that he left a big amount of money with the bank USD 4.5MILLION DOLLARS, and this make me most ashame of my privilege which is all the rage there on American college campuses...I don't know about this, but it something I need to learn if I am going to get to vote in your election in November 500 times for who the DNC tell me to vote for, in exchange for my very own bathroom and safe zone in their pedophiles section of their basement.  

 

 

Please it is a long story that if I started to narrate all of them to you, you will start laughing yourself to ass off, but I will give you Full heavily redacted details in your next mail as soon as i hear from you but kindly bear in mind that I need you to help me get a gender friendly bathroom of which I am only now learning is so critical to the salvation of western society.  Silly me...I thought those ISIS bastards were more of a threat than a gender neutral bathroom, or needing a safe space from words like "conservative" and "hellary isn't trustworthy" and "peanut butter sandwich"...but I'm a simple Third World dildo brain that can only think for myself when I'm told what it is that is thinkable, like making pedophile-friendly bathrooms.  This is most important according to Debbil Washingmachine Snitz, the DNC chairpoison.  I am anxiously waiting for your kind response Thanks once again and please extend my greeting to the shrieking marmot on YouTube. Thanks and piss up a rope.

Miss Naomi Gagnon

aka Bruce Jenner's pet parrot, Marie Barf

It was obviously too much for Ms Gagnon...learning that her email upset so many people this way.

*snerx*