Another Scammer Reading Comprehension FAIL

Sad, isn't it?

Not as much as the reading comprehension FAIL of Sam Laidlaw.

Here you go:

i have something  to discuss with you, reply back. 


Back.  

Thanks very much for your urgent response.

I want you to be patient and read through the content of this mail to understand how we intend making you the sole beneficiary of the entire funds without complication and hitch free process.

I am Mr. W S H Laidlaw, Chief Executive Officer of Centrica plc, Director HSBC and A member of the Remuneration Committee.

A late client in our bank who was an investor made a numbered Fixed deposit for 48 calendar months, with a value of $224,500,000.00 USD (Two Hundred and Twenty Four Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only) in my bank HSBC Bank USA.

Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to my client so that you will be able to receive his funds. I have transferred the entire funds (Two Hundred and Twenty Four Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only) to an affiliate online bank before my Government would take custody of the funds due to no beneficiary and no one will ever come forward to claim it.

REQUIREMENT AS A NEXT OF KIN:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I am in contact with an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to my late client through obtaining the required document including the Certificate of Deposit to be issued in your name. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for onward custody of the funds by you from the online bank.

There is no risk involved in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. The funds are currently in custody of the online bank awaiting claim I would provide you the necessary paper works to forward to the online bank as confirmation that you are taking custody of the transferred funds and once the entire funds have been transferred to your home bank account from the online bank we shall share in the ratio of 50% each as Partners in this deal which I plan on investing my share of the funds in your country as co-partner with you.

For the attorney to begin the paperwork’s processing on your behalf, the below complete information’s would be required:

Full Name:

Age:

Full Contact/Postal Address:

Occupation:

Direct Phone Number:

Fax Number:

Your earliest response and decision to this detailed mail will be very much appreciated.

Your Partner,

W. S. H. Laidlaw.   

 

 

I haven't had much luck with schemes like this.  Do you have anything else to offer me?  

Dear Partner,
Thanks for your mail and your willingness to assist me on this deal. Please if you want us to proceed on this deal, kindly fill the below information's completely. 

For the attorney to begin the paperwork’s processing on your behalf, the below complete information’s would be required:

Full Name:
Age:
Full Contact/Postal Address:
Occupation:
Direct Phone Number:
Fax Number:

Your earliest response and decision to this detailed mail will be very much appreciated.

Your Partner,
W. S. H. Laidlaw.  


Are you a moron by birth or choice?  Re-read my prior response and get back to me with the reply I solicited.  


I do not understand your meaning.  Please kindly fill out the information's below so the attorney to begin the paperwork's processing on your behalf.




Okay, so you're a moron by choice.  I 'splained to you that I've had not much luck with these kind of schemes, and I asked if you had anything else to offer me.  It would appear from your replies that you do not.  Daring to assume that even an idiot like you can eventually figure out how to walk and chew gum at the same time, does that about sum up the gist of the conversation as had up to now?   


That apparently finally did  ;-)