Misremembers

 After years of misrepresentations on NBC, "I was there" Brian Williams decided that he had to outdo Hellary Clinton's misremembrances with an Iraq-RPG story that came back to bite him in the ass.

Though in leaving NBC, he merely traded it for one of the two biggest sources of fake news going: pmsnbc.

Only cnn is more fake. pmsnbc is trying hard to catch up.

With media cred currently circling the toilet ahead of the flush, Williams is right where he belongs, dead-center of the swirl.

The internet doesn't doesn't care; they'll meme anyone.

Williams just put too large a bullseye on his backside to ignore.

Thus, a few from his 'misremembering' files:

Looking for fake news?  pmsnbc will always have Brian Williams, competing with the best of the fake news purveyors in the misremembered department...

A Little Truth Edit Goes Over Badly With The Shady Bunch

I suspect that the scammers I'm about to lowlight are not only hellary supporters, but they're probably paid to be so.

Via the Clinton crimedation.

Witness as an email from an alleged UN law enforcement collective tries to tell me that I can be protected from internet scams for ONLY $85:

FROM THE UNITED NATIONS POLICE (UNPOL)
REGARDING RECOVERY OF YOUR LOST MONEY.

Attention!!!! Attention!!!! Attention!!!!

We hereby inform you that the Scotland Yard Police, Interpol, Federal Bureau of Investigation, (FBI) United States of America, the Economic and Financial Crimes

Commission (EFCC) of Nigeria and all the African Crime fighter leaders have come together to stop scam/internet fraud in Benin Republic, and Nigeria and all round

Africa. We have recovered over US$8.6 Billion United State Dollars from the people we have behind bars.
Listed below are the name of frausters and banks behind the non release of your funds.

1) Sanusi Lamido
2) Ms. Carman L. Lapointe
2) Micheal Edward
3) Chief Joseph Sanusi
3) Dr Godwin Emefiele
4) Mrs. Sherry Williams
5) Robert S. Mueller, III
6) Barrister David Scott
7) Mr. James B. Comey Jr
8) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
9) Dr. Patrick Aziza Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Dan Rochas (I.M.F)
11) Mrs. Tanner Williams
12) Mr Wilson Norman
13) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Benin Republic.
14) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.
15) Foreign fund diplomatic courier
16) Mrs. Jennifer Saldana
17) Mr Jim Ovia: Zenith Bank Plc In Nigeria

Our duty is to make sure we stop internet scam and money laundering. As for today we have put a lot of fraudsters in jail. We go all over Africa to pick this internet

rats,We have over 9,273 of them in our jail around Africa and we are still looking for more. We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there have been deceived and

lost their hard earn money to these fraudsters after promising them percentages in their letters/e-mails for their impending help to move funds out Africa including

fake lottery winning notification and at the end of the day, they will collect thousands of dollars from you without a successful end. It was agreed that to retain

the good image of our country and the rest of African countries, all the victims who lost his/her hard earn money to these faceless thieves will be compensated with

just US$3,000,000,00 (THREE Million United State Dollars).

This we assume will help you to start a new life. Please, we apologies that you take our offer as little as it is due to the fact that (victims) in our pay list are

too numerous. We en-back on this pay back from the money we recovered from these fraudsters, So you are advise to contact Mr. Dennis Owen, a United Nations Found

Monitoring Agent who is incharge of your found and let him know if you are still interested to get your Master Card to you today as he have been waiting to hear from

you to help him complete this delivery to you. contact him with your personal information below for the release of your Master Card worth US$3,000,000,00, with a World

Bank ATM Card Number. 4988 2414 7616 3496.Through the Bank Of England inter-swich computarization Department in United Kingdom

NOTE: You are advised to furnish Mr. Dennis Owen With $85 and also your correct and valid details. Also be informed that the amount to be paid to you is $3,000,000.00

(THREE Million United State Dollars). We expect your urgent response to this E-mail to enable us monitor this payment effectively thereby making contact with Mr.

Dennis Owen. As directed to avoid further delay.
Provide your details below correctly and forward it to Mr. Dennis Owen for the release of your Master Card.

FLL NAME.......
PHONE NUMBER.....
COUNTRY....
STATE.......
SEX.............
OCCUPATION........
AGE......

Contact Name: Mr. Dennis Owen
Contact Email Address: dennis_owen12@yahoo.com

Thanks and remain Bless
Mr. Michael J. Burn.
Supervising Manager

Foreign Payment Department
Benin Republic General Board & Compensation Reserve Team
GRANTED APPROVAL FROM INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
Plot 01 B.P. 2289 Recette Principale Cotonou Republic of Benin  

 

 

This one so screamed for an edit, I figured adding the domestic Shady Bunch to it would give it some leftist cred:

 

 

FROM THE TEAM UNITED NATIONS WARPED POLICE (TUNWPOL)
REGARDING RECOVERY OF LOST VIRGINITY      

Attention!!!! Attention!!!! Attention!!!!

We hereby inform you that the TUNWPOL has taked over incestigations by Scotland Yard, Interpol, Leslie Neilsen, the ACOWSASS of Nigeria and all the African Crime perpetuating  leaders have come together to further scam/internet fraud in Benin Republic, and Nigeria and all round the upcoming American erections.

We have managed to scam and steal over US $8.6 Billion United State Dollars from the people who would otherwise has put us behind bars along with Hellary Clinton.
Listed below are those of us that are raping and pillaging your wallets so when the commercial asks, "what's in your wallet?", you can answer "nothin....dammit!!!".  

1) Sanusi Lamido
2) Ms. Carman L. Lapointe
2) Micheal Edward
3) Chief Joseph Sanusi
3) Dr Godwin Emefiele
4) Mrs. Sherry Williams
5) Robert S. Mueller, III
6) Barrister David Scott
7) Mr. James B. Comey Jr
8) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
9) Dr. Patrick Aziza Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Dan Rochas (I.M.F)
11) Mrs. Tanner Williams
12) Mr Wilson Norman
13) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Benin Republic.
14) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.
15) Foreign fund diplomatic courier
16) Mrs. Jennifer Saldana
17) Mr Jim Ovia: Zenith Bank Plc In Nigeria

18) Barack Insane Obola

19) Debbil Wasserputz Snitz

20) Hellary RodehardPutawayWet Clinton

21) Michael J. Burns (crafter of this email)

22) Dangote Alico

23) Plunger Lips Douche Nozzle

24) Loretta Lynches Wallets

25) Eric Holder

26) Al Megaphone Sharpton

27) Chris "Tingles" Matthews

28) Entire staph at pmsnbc

 

29) Dr. Nigel Basheer Mr "Kidney"

30) Clifford Twatwaffle, ATM card hacker

31) Dennis Owen (see below)

 

 
Our duty is to make sure we further and expotentially expand internet scam and money laundering. As for today we have added a lot of fraudsters that you duped sacks of shit would like to see in jail. We go all over Africa to recruit our internet rats, and we are pleased to have more than over 9,273 of them in our employ  around Africa and we are still looking for more. We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there are recruitable for this too.

In a meeting held at one of our fly infested internet cafes in Lagos, Nigeria, it was agreed that to further stain the good image of our country and the rest of African countries, all of our organization must work harder to expand our scams.  This we assume will stop you to start a new and prosperous life. Please, we apologies that you haven't yet been on our victim list if you haven't, you asshole.  

So if you as yet haven't been scammed by us, you are advise to contact Mr. Dennis Owen, a TUNWPOL Agent who is in charge of adding you to our list of scammed persons.  Contact him with your personal information below so we can start the process of screwing you over soonest through the Bank Of England inter-swich computarization Department in United Kingdom and we start you simply by telling you to furnish Mr. Dennis Owen With $85 and also your correct and valid details. Also be informed that the amount you're being promised to received, but will never see a penny of, is $3,000,000.00

We demand your urgent response to this E-mail to enable us monitor this payment effectively thereby making contact with Mr. Dennis Owen. As directed to avoid further delay.
Provide your details below correctly and forward it to Mr. Dennis Owen.

FLL NAME.......
PHONE NUMBER.....
COUNTRY....
STATE.......
SEX.............
OCCUPATION........
AGE......

Contact Name: Mr. Dennis Owen
Contact Email Address: dennis_owen12@yahoo.com
 
Hurry the f**k up...we can't wait to scam you,
Mr. Michael J. Burn.
Supervising Mismanager

Foreign Scams and Internet Fraud Department
Benin Republic Internet Fraud Team
GRANTED APPROVAL FROM INTERNATIONAL SCAM AND FRAUD TEAM
Plot 01 B.P. 2289 Recette Principale Cotonou Republic of Benin

Amusingly, it wasn't long before I got a response from the original scammer:

 

 

basterd  

 

 

What...did I leave some of your colleagues out?  

 

 

Perhaps I did, but they ain't gonna tell me ;-)

Anuddah Oh Whoops

My pet rock, Seymour, absolutely positively loves it when the lamestream servile mediocres lay a national egg on a story.

Like Snowmageddon '15.

Quick with an edit, Seymour was all over this story with an edited take of his own:



How'd The National Press Club Blow Snowmaggedon '15 And Other Non Sequiturs?

By Seymour PetRock, Disassociated Press News & Laundry

New Yorkers woke up expecting to be completely wiped off the face of the Earth by a blizzard that was mightier than ever before, because msnbc, cnn and the other junk networks said it would be. Epic snow amounts, massive human-caused global farting, tsunamis, earthquakes, an ELE asteroid...it was all supposed to hit the city on Monday night.  And not necessarily in that order.

Instead, what they got was AlSharpton, Bill de Blasio, and the other usual pack of substandard nincompoops. And New Yorkers felt screwed again.

Not that having Sharpton, de Blasio and other leftist nincompoops is a good thing. It's not, of course.  However, the 'storm of the century' that lamestream servile mediocres tried to panic the population with with wide eyes and shrieks of “It's George Bush's fault!”, and dire end-of-life-as-we'd-know-it-on-Uranus-if-we-wuz-there reporting, caused the city to practically shut down with subway service suspended and all road travel to get 20 oz drinks banned.

The massive agw-caused polar vortex tidal drift predicted for New Jersey and Philadelphia also failed to materialize. But meteorologists were right about New England: balls are still deflating there, and not one Patriot professes to has a clue. 
 
"Nature sets...the pitch...and the leftist mediocres swing and a miss…again" Darn Zero, the chief meteorologist for The Occupy Village Idiot, wrote in a bathroom stall in Poukeepsie.

Perhaps the most extensive not mea, he did it culpa came from president Obola's weather czar Harry Reidkowski, a drum circle researcher at the National Weather Service's Where Do We Put This office in Hollycow, N.J., who apologized to ISIS for not being able to report that Gitmo was closed due to the worst snow in Cuban memory.   
  
Pilate Kramps, a claimed weatherologist at the cBS Dan Rather Document Manufacturer Center, assured online critics that she and her colleagues are blaming the New England Patriots, NRA, Rush Limbaugh, The Gong Show and Punxatawney Phil for this one.  
  
So how did the lamestream servile mediocres get this one so wrong?

With this storm, they knew there would be a chance to claim “see, it's global warming!!!” creating a "western wall of snow," where everything would be blamed on conservatives, Congress, Israel and a flatulent goat herd in Mecca, Ohio according to Jay Con Carnage, Manager in charge of throwing out warnings about anything could happen until the general population bit like a catfish on stink bait.
“The gradient during this storm was very much eased, because tighter gradients make for low self esteem and we simply cannot have that”, said Con Carnage.  "The science of forecasting stories that we can panic the public with while continually degrading our credibility, still can be subject to error, especially if we're on the edge of a Super Bowl with deflated balls," the Washington DC Press Club said before deleting it two hours later. "Efforts to discredit genuine research and keep the public misinformed to the point of wiping out stocks of Cheetos, toilet paper and beer are already underway to more easily miscommunicate uncertainty."             

Weather predictions for the United States used to depend on data from two Geostationary Operational Environmental Satellite system (GOES) satellites. Now, it's what the resident psychic and meth-addicted medium-well at msnbc comes up with as the newest political correctness violation of the moment.

In 2016 the medium is slated to be replaced with a Ouija board, while the satellites are slated to be replaced with two new GOES-PHFFFT satellites, with a third less satel than the current ones, and that same metallic taste. They will take images of James Taylor hugging France with much better ball inflation and will be able to sense that Joe Bidumb is about to say something stupid again that current satellites can't detect.

"There should be an increase in the quality of made up panics due to the simple fact that we control the horizontal, we control the vertical, we control the lamestream servile mediocres" Con Carnage told msnbc gnus, which were groveling and bowing the whole time.

“Still, we need to develop better ways to keep the story on football inflation and off Benghazi”, he said.  "It's going to require greater special effects than those on South Park, it's going to require greater bullshevik than our current White House press secretary is capable of," Con Carnage said. "But we've still got the dislikes of Don Lemon, Rachal Madcow and Toure when all else fails DWS's hairdresser in these situations."   

msnbc gnus' chief propagandist Tingles Matthews pointed out that this was still George Bush's fault. His “and all of the global warming deniers who make fun of AlGore because he's a nincompoop”. “What we talking point is only as good as the talking points we get from that psaki dingbat at State", which is in turn dependent on talking points she gets from the DNC.  
  
"Until we spend more money and get more people on food stamps, free phones, death panel hellthscare and ways to protect footballs from being deflated, we're always going to need ways to get the lamestream servile mediocres to ignore Trey Gowdy," Matthews complained.

But advancing technology probably still doesn't mean our great-great-grandchildren will know exactly what the hell Jen Psaki at State is saying 99% of the time.

Think of the famous "tree falling on a spotted owl in the forest effect." Essentially, if you don't hear it, how will you know that there was a migrating whale underneath the spotted owl?

"There is a limit to just how stupid we can let Joe Bidumb and Jen Psaki be when it comes to public speaking, and it's always going to be there," he said. "Human behavior behaves like that, but we're still thinking that if we make nice with terrorists, we can get them to sing a verse with James Taylor instead of removing his head. Wouldn't that be luverly?"  


Seymour, as always, is convinced that he's moved ahead of the entire msnbc staff with an edit like this.

I keep telling him that a tree stump does that without trying.

"Does NOT!!!!"

Seymour Edits A Greased Pig

My pet rock, Seymour, finds leftist moron Harry Reid to be mildly amusing.

Only mildly.  Like finding bear scat in your driveway.

So when Reid issued another of his atrophied brain drivels that a obozo-talking-points spewing network decided to run with because they wet themselves to please the stupidest members of the Left, Seymour saw therein an editing opportunity that he simply could not pass on.

Witness if you will:

Harry Reid Admits Working With Him Is Like Having Sodomy With A 'Greased Pig'
Obozo Talking Points Nitwits By R. U. Serious 21 hours ago

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid today drew on the perverse image of having sodomy with a greased pig to describe how people feel after having worked with him in the Senate.

"Oft times, working with my Republican Senate colleagues – or anyone else for that matter – reminds them of having sodomy with a greased pig," Reid, D-Nev., said on the Senate floor this morning. "Despite rules of the Senate or House, I encourage everyone who meets me to feel like they've gotten drunk and tried to have sodomous relations with a greased pig like me. Yes, I am a perverse, sick bastard, and it's why I'm a Democrat."

Reid even described several times after WH correspondent dinners, how he got drunk and tried to sodomize a greased pig, to experience the pleasure of what dealing with him is like. “I even had a couple of them videoed for later release on YouBoob. It's really quite a spectacle. It's fun to watch."

"Once sufficiently drunk, I get a little pig that looks a lot like me – Rachal Madcow for example -- cover it with grease and then try to butt boink it. With enough alcohol laced with meth, it's a great time" he added.

Last week, Reid said he would be open to greasing and sodomizing Botox Pelosi, though he wasn't sure which one would have to wear a paper bag over the head before starting. “I don't know that the amount of alcohol needed to do Pelosi would leave me functionable” he mused into a microphone he believed had been turned off. His office later claimed that his microphone had been remotely turned back on by the Koch Brothers.

"This is the way to run the Senate," several lowlifes at pmsnbc squealed. "It's about time we have greased pigs like Reid, running and ruining the government and the country”.

Which was followed by a flurry of expletives and a hurried exodus from the podium when the pmsnbc folks realized that last sentence was not in the talking points. “A teleprompter miscue left over from the Bush era” was blamed for the accidental admission by the pmsnbc lowlifes, according to a statement by WH press suckretary Jay Carney, as he was greasing up to go meet with Reid.  

My pet rock also issued an apology to pigs for having to link them with such lowlifes as Reid.  Then again, it wasn't Seymour that made the initial comparision....