A Little Truth Edit Goes Over Badly With The Shady Bunch

I suspect that the scammers I'm about to lowlight are not only hellary supporters, but they're probably paid to be so.

Via the Clinton crimedation.

Witness as an email from an alleged UN law enforcement collective tries to tell me that I can be protected from internet scams for ONLY $85:

FROM THE UNITED NATIONS POLICE (UNPOL)
REGARDING RECOVERY OF YOUR LOST MONEY.

Attention!!!! Attention!!!! Attention!!!!

We hereby inform you that the Scotland Yard Police, Interpol, Federal Bureau of Investigation, (FBI) United States of America, the Economic and Financial Crimes

Commission (EFCC) of Nigeria and all the African Crime fighter leaders have come together to stop scam/internet fraud in Benin Republic, and Nigeria and all round

Africa. We have recovered over US$8.6 Billion United State Dollars from the people we have behind bars.
Listed below are the name of frausters and banks behind the non release of your funds.

1) Sanusi Lamido
2) Ms. Carman L. Lapointe
2) Micheal Edward
3) Chief Joseph Sanusi
3) Dr Godwin Emefiele
4) Mrs. Sherry Williams
5) Robert S. Mueller, III
6) Barrister David Scott
7) Mr. James B. Comey Jr
8) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
9) Dr. Patrick Aziza Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Dan Rochas (I.M.F)
11) Mrs. Tanner Williams
12) Mr Wilson Norman
13) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Benin Republic.
14) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.
15) Foreign fund diplomatic courier
16) Mrs. Jennifer Saldana
17) Mr Jim Ovia: Zenith Bank Plc In Nigeria

Our duty is to make sure we stop internet scam and money laundering. As for today we have put a lot of fraudsters in jail. We go all over Africa to pick this internet

rats,We have over 9,273 of them in our jail around Africa and we are still looking for more. We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there have been deceived and

lost their hard earn money to these fraudsters after promising them percentages in their letters/e-mails for their impending help to move funds out Africa including

fake lottery winning notification and at the end of the day, they will collect thousands of dollars from you without a successful end. It was agreed that to retain

the good image of our country and the rest of African countries, all the victims who lost his/her hard earn money to these faceless thieves will be compensated with

just US$3,000,000,00 (THREE Million United State Dollars).

This we assume will help you to start a new life. Please, we apologies that you take our offer as little as it is due to the fact that (victims) in our pay list are

too numerous. We en-back on this pay back from the money we recovered from these fraudsters, So you are advise to contact Mr. Dennis Owen, a United Nations Found

Monitoring Agent who is incharge of your found and let him know if you are still interested to get your Master Card to you today as he have been waiting to hear from

you to help him complete this delivery to you. contact him with your personal information below for the release of your Master Card worth US$3,000,000,00, with a World

Bank ATM Card Number. 4988 2414 7616 3496.Through the Bank Of England inter-swich computarization Department in United Kingdom

NOTE: You are advised to furnish Mr. Dennis Owen With $85 and also your correct and valid details. Also be informed that the amount to be paid to you is $3,000,000.00

(THREE Million United State Dollars). We expect your urgent response to this E-mail to enable us monitor this payment effectively thereby making contact with Mr.

Dennis Owen. As directed to avoid further delay.
Provide your details below correctly and forward it to Mr. Dennis Owen for the release of your Master Card.

FLL NAME.......
PHONE NUMBER.....
COUNTRY....
STATE.......
SEX.............
OCCUPATION........
AGE......

Contact Name: Mr. Dennis Owen
Contact Email Address: dennis_owen12@yahoo.com

Thanks and remain Bless
Mr. Michael J. Burn.
Supervising Manager

Foreign Payment Department
Benin Republic General Board & Compensation Reserve Team
GRANTED APPROVAL FROM INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
Plot 01 B.P. 2289 Recette Principale Cotonou Republic of Benin  

 

 

This one so screamed for an edit, I figured adding the domestic Shady Bunch to it would give it some leftist cred:

 

 

FROM THE TEAM UNITED NATIONS WARPED POLICE (TUNWPOL)
REGARDING RECOVERY OF LOST VIRGINITY      

Attention!!!! Attention!!!! Attention!!!!

We hereby inform you that the TUNWPOL has taked over incestigations by Scotland Yard, Interpol, Leslie Neilsen, the ACOWSASS of Nigeria and all the African Crime perpetuating  leaders have come together to further scam/internet fraud in Benin Republic, and Nigeria and all round the upcoming American erections.

We have managed to scam and steal over US $8.6 Billion United State Dollars from the people who would otherwise has put us behind bars along with Hellary Clinton.
Listed below are those of us that are raping and pillaging your wallets so when the commercial asks, "what's in your wallet?", you can answer "nothin....dammit!!!".  

1) Sanusi Lamido
2) Ms. Carman L. Lapointe
2) Micheal Edward
3) Chief Joseph Sanusi
3) Dr Godwin Emefiele
4) Mrs. Sherry Williams
5) Robert S. Mueller, III
6) Barrister David Scott
7) Mr. James B. Comey Jr
8) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
9) Dr. Patrick Aziza Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Dan Rochas (I.M.F)
11) Mrs. Tanner Williams
12) Mr Wilson Norman
13) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Benin Republic.
14) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.
15) Foreign fund diplomatic courier
16) Mrs. Jennifer Saldana
17) Mr Jim Ovia: Zenith Bank Plc In Nigeria

18) Barack Insane Obola

19) Debbil Wasserputz Snitz

20) Hellary RodehardPutawayWet Clinton

21) Michael J. Burns (crafter of this email)

22) Dangote Alico

23) Plunger Lips Douche Nozzle

24) Loretta Lynches Wallets

25) Eric Holder

26) Al Megaphone Sharpton

27) Chris "Tingles" Matthews

28) Entire staph at pmsnbc

 

29) Dr. Nigel Basheer Mr "Kidney"

30) Clifford Twatwaffle, ATM card hacker

31) Dennis Owen (see below)

 

 
Our duty is to make sure we further and expotentially expand internet scam and money laundering. As for today we have added a lot of fraudsters that you duped sacks of shit would like to see in jail. We go all over Africa to recruit our internet rats, and we are pleased to have more than over 9,273 of them in our employ  around Africa and we are still looking for more. We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there are recruitable for this too.

In a meeting held at one of our fly infested internet cafes in Lagos, Nigeria, it was agreed that to further stain the good image of our country and the rest of African countries, all of our organization must work harder to expand our scams.  This we assume will stop you to start a new and prosperous life. Please, we apologies that you haven't yet been on our victim list if you haven't, you asshole.  

So if you as yet haven't been scammed by us, you are advise to contact Mr. Dennis Owen, a TUNWPOL Agent who is in charge of adding you to our list of scammed persons.  Contact him with your personal information below so we can start the process of screwing you over soonest through the Bank Of England inter-swich computarization Department in United Kingdom and we start you simply by telling you to furnish Mr. Dennis Owen With $85 and also your correct and valid details. Also be informed that the amount you're being promised to received, but will never see a penny of, is $3,000,000.00

We demand your urgent response to this E-mail to enable us monitor this payment effectively thereby making contact with Mr. Dennis Owen. As directed to avoid further delay.
Provide your details below correctly and forward it to Mr. Dennis Owen.

FLL NAME.......
PHONE NUMBER.....
COUNTRY....
STATE.......
SEX.............
OCCUPATION........
AGE......

Contact Name: Mr. Dennis Owen
Contact Email Address: dennis_owen12@yahoo.com
 
Hurry the f**k up...we can't wait to scam you,
Mr. Michael J. Burn.
Supervising Mismanager

Foreign Scams and Internet Fraud Department
Benin Republic Internet Fraud Team
GRANTED APPROVAL FROM INTERNATIONAL SCAM AND FRAUD TEAM
Plot 01 B.P. 2289 Recette Principale Cotonou Republic of Benin

Amusingly, it wasn't long before I got a response from the original scammer:

 

 

basterd  

 

 

What...did I leave some of your colleagues out?  

 

 

Perhaps I did, but they ain't gonna tell me ;-)