Anuddah Oh Whoops

My pet rock, Seymour, absolutely positively loves it when the lamestream servile mediocres lay a national egg on a story.

Like Snowmageddon '15.

Quick with an edit, Seymour was all over this story with an edited take of his own:



How'd The National Press Club Blow Snowmaggedon '15 And Other Non Sequiturs?

By Seymour PetRock, Disassociated Press News & Laundry

New Yorkers woke up expecting to be completely wiped off the face of the Earth by a blizzard that was mightier than ever before, because msnbc, cnn and the other junk networks said it would be. Epic snow amounts, massive human-caused global farting, tsunamis, earthquakes, an ELE asteroid...it was all supposed to hit the city on Monday night.  And not necessarily in that order.

Instead, what they got was AlSharpton, Bill de Blasio, and the other usual pack of substandard nincompoops. And New Yorkers felt screwed again.

Not that having Sharpton, de Blasio and other leftist nincompoops is a good thing. It's not, of course.  However, the 'storm of the century' that lamestream servile mediocres tried to panic the population with with wide eyes and shrieks of “It's George Bush's fault!”, and dire end-of-life-as-we'd-know-it-on-Uranus-if-we-wuz-there reporting, caused the city to practically shut down with subway service suspended and all road travel to get 20 oz drinks banned.

The massive agw-caused polar vortex tidal drift predicted for New Jersey and Philadelphia also failed to materialize. But meteorologists were right about New England: balls are still deflating there, and not one Patriot professes to has a clue. 
 
"Nature sets...the pitch...and the leftist mediocres swing and a miss…again" Darn Zero, the chief meteorologist for The Occupy Village Idiot, wrote in a bathroom stall in Poukeepsie.

Perhaps the most extensive not mea, he did it culpa came from president Obola's weather czar Harry Reidkowski, a drum circle researcher at the National Weather Service's Where Do We Put This office in Hollycow, N.J., who apologized to ISIS for not being able to report that Gitmo was closed due to the worst snow in Cuban memory.   
  
Pilate Kramps, a claimed weatherologist at the cBS Dan Rather Document Manufacturer Center, assured online critics that she and her colleagues are blaming the New England Patriots, NRA, Rush Limbaugh, The Gong Show and Punxatawney Phil for this one.  
  
So how did the lamestream servile mediocres get this one so wrong?

With this storm, they knew there would be a chance to claim “see, it's global warming!!!” creating a "western wall of snow," where everything would be blamed on conservatives, Congress, Israel and a flatulent goat herd in Mecca, Ohio according to Jay Con Carnage, Manager in charge of throwing out warnings about anything could happen until the general population bit like a catfish on stink bait.
“The gradient during this storm was very much eased, because tighter gradients make for low self esteem and we simply cannot have that”, said Con Carnage.  "The science of forecasting stories that we can panic the public with while continually degrading our credibility, still can be subject to error, especially if we're on the edge of a Super Bowl with deflated balls," the Washington DC Press Club said before deleting it two hours later. "Efforts to discredit genuine research and keep the public misinformed to the point of wiping out stocks of Cheetos, toilet paper and beer are already underway to more easily miscommunicate uncertainty."             

Weather predictions for the United States used to depend on data from two Geostationary Operational Environmental Satellite system (GOES) satellites. Now, it's what the resident psychic and meth-addicted medium-well at msnbc comes up with as the newest political correctness violation of the moment.

In 2016 the medium is slated to be replaced with a Ouija board, while the satellites are slated to be replaced with two new GOES-PHFFFT satellites, with a third less satel than the current ones, and that same metallic taste. They will take images of James Taylor hugging France with much better ball inflation and will be able to sense that Joe Bidumb is about to say something stupid again that current satellites can't detect.

"There should be an increase in the quality of made up panics due to the simple fact that we control the horizontal, we control the vertical, we control the lamestream servile mediocres" Con Carnage told msnbc gnus, which were groveling and bowing the whole time.

“Still, we need to develop better ways to keep the story on football inflation and off Benghazi”, he said.  "It's going to require greater special effects than those on South Park, it's going to require greater bullshevik than our current White House press secretary is capable of," Con Carnage said. "But we've still got the dislikes of Don Lemon, Rachal Madcow and Toure when all else fails DWS's hairdresser in these situations."   

msnbc gnus' chief propagandist Tingles Matthews pointed out that this was still George Bush's fault. His “and all of the global warming deniers who make fun of AlGore because he's a nincompoop”. “What we talking point is only as good as the talking points we get from that psaki dingbat at State", which is in turn dependent on talking points she gets from the DNC.  
  
"Until we spend more money and get more people on food stamps, free phones, death panel hellthscare and ways to protect footballs from being deflated, we're always going to need ways to get the lamestream servile mediocres to ignore Trey Gowdy," Matthews complained.

But advancing technology probably still doesn't mean our great-great-grandchildren will know exactly what the hell Jen Psaki at State is saying 99% of the time.

Think of the famous "tree falling on a spotted owl in the forest effect." Essentially, if you don't hear it, how will you know that there was a migrating whale underneath the spotted owl?

"There is a limit to just how stupid we can let Joe Bidumb and Jen Psaki be when it comes to public speaking, and it's always going to be there," he said. "Human behavior behaves like that, but we're still thinking that if we make nice with terrorists, we can get them to sing a verse with James Taylor instead of removing his head. Wouldn't that be luverly?"  


Seymour, as always, is convinced that he's moved ahead of the entire msnbc staff with an edit like this.

I keep telling him that a tree stump does that without trying.

"Does NOT!!!!"

A Little This A Little That

So much to write about, so little motivation to do it.

It's snowing...predicted to be the first major storm of the season. Then again, the day before, we had record high temperatures near 80 degrees. So this storm will be akin to spit in the ocean. But the skiers are loving it. AlGore, not so much.

Occupy Wherever continues to generate brilliance and character from the left side of the aisle. Rock and bottle throwing in Oakland. An LA protester who wants to run all the Jews out of the US...another who thinks that if we were like North Korea (satellite photo above; repressive communist North Korea is the dark one, the booming capitalist South Korea is the lit-up one), we'd all have jobs and be happy and well-fed. Allegedly educated college students who want everything handed to them because they "deserve it" (proof that dumbed down education is alive and well on college campi). And the complaints from within various "Occupy" locations, of fellow travellers stealing from one another.

Heck, they're only taking socialist teachings of Marx, Lenin, Mao, Alinsky et al, to heart: to paraphrase it, "from those who have, to those who haven't". There should be no complaints about that from within; the Occupiers are supposed to be all about communal property and what not, right?

They are. Until their not the property pilferer, and the property pilfered is theirs. Ha.

Gaddafi is hosed, and some UN types have their panties in a wad over how he got dead. Hello...he got shot. That happens in violent overthrows. Any other questions? Appoint some more panels to study what's obvious to a second grade class in a charter school, and waste some more money, UN. That seems to be what you're best at.

Turkey had a major earthquake. It won't get much mention in the news -- a libtard local talk show host (David Sirota) would rather highlight a stupid study by a stupid college professor that stupidly claims that MLB umpires are racist against minority pitchers -- but the US Military and other volunteer groups will be there with money, materials and man power, doing what this great nation always does in times of disaster somewhere.

And yes, I can't help but notice the Republican candidates on debate after debate, doing a better job to chewing each other up than focusing on what really matters. Some interesting characters up there, but it has the feel that the 'establishment' that gave us Bob Dole and John McCain, will probably wind up giving us another "go along to get along" spineless dolt, rather than someone who's got some heart, conviction and courage to take a strong stand against the current hypocrisy. What hypocrisy is that, you might ask? The hypocrisy of campaigning against Wall Street and the rich, ginning up racial and economic class warfare, while going to the evil corporations, Wall Street and the rich with hat in hand for campaign cash, and giving them sweet taxpayer handouts under the guise of 'stimulus' that hasn't resulted in real job growth where it really matters.

Can you say "Solyndra"? PMSNBC and the White House would rather you didn't. Instead, they'd rather tell adoring crowds that Republicans, if elected, will dirty the air, water, starve children and throw old folks out into the streets.

And again, dumbed down education will let some sheeples buy into that.

A hotel in Nashville cancels a counterterrorism conference because of threats from -- sooprise, sooprise -- radical Islamists. Last time I looked, Nashville was in Tennessee. Not Iran. Unless Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have arranged some kind of a funky land-for-debt swap between them, China and Iran, that PMSNBC purposely overlooked as well.

The US Constitution and Bill of Rights is not written in Sharia. At least, not yet.

But that's not important to the lame stream media. It's more important to explain racist MLB umpires applying unfair strike zones to minority pitchers. Without explaining how a racist MLB umpire handles his racism when the batter is ALSO a minority.

Details, details.

Yeah, I know...I sound like a heartless, mean-spirited conservative. Well, I hear that 92 year old Andy Rooney is in the hospital. I wish him well and a full recovery.

So there.

On top of that, an anonymous 'troll' has demanded that I shut down my blog.

If my pet rock, Seymour, were capable of it, he'd reply in a manner that the 'troll' would understand. But the poor pet rock hasn't yet figured out how to flip a bird.

I suggested to Seymour that it takes stealth, a quick branch tweak, and an unprepared, unsuspecting avian.

Seymour's still giving me "WTF?" looks for that.

Yeah, I know...this wasn't a funny blog entry. Not everything always is. Certainly not according to the 'troll'.

So I'll attempt to end it on a funny note: if a racist MLB umpire is behind the plate, Jibaldo Jimenez (hispanic) is pitching and Derek Jeter (black) is at bat, how does this racist MLB umpire work out the conundrum of a slider catching the outside edge of the plate?

He puts the game in rain delay, ejects both managers, and craps on the hood of the MLB commissioner's car, on his way to take up drum banging at Occupy Toledo.

Okay, so I didn't guarantee that you'd find it funny...

But you got your money's worth ;-)