And Her Losing Continues

Her crimepaign theme was Forward Together.

To defeat at the ballot box.

After which, Hellary has blamed everything from Russians to global warming on Uranus as the reason(s) she lost.

One look in the mirror would show her who was responsible for her defeat.

At any rate, entitlement-mentalitied Hellary Clinton is back at it again.

This time with a new rehashed group -- Onward Together -- and the same old dishonest message.

Here's what I got on Thanksgiving in a scam baiting email account:

Friend --

There’s a story I tell in my book What Happened that I’ve been thinking about this week. A short while after last November’s election, I attended a dance recital for my granddaughter Charlotte. Now, Charlotte was only two at the time, and as you might expect, she and her friends hadn’t quite mastered their performances.

As I watched Charlotte and her friends laugh and fall down and get up again, I thought about how glad I was to be there, watching my granddaughter have the time of her life on stage.

In a hard year, it can seem impossible to take the time to be grateful. But even as we’re doubling down in the fight to defend our shared values, there is so much to be thankful for. Time with our loved ones. The victories we’ve seen recently. A resistance that is refusing to be silenced by hateful, divisive rhetoric.

And I'm grateful for you.

This warm, smart, big-hearted team has given me so much -- from your support during my last campaign to your kind notes, hugs, and well-wishes. Now I’m asking you for one more thing: not to give up.

If you’re with me, add your name right now.

May your holiday be warm and full of love,

Hillary
A total jack wagon load of insincere Hellary crap.

Nothing better settles the post Thanksgiving feed than an edit of such crap:

From: Hellary Clinton <info@onwardtogether.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 23, 2017 3:38 PM
To: dnc@hotmail.com
Subject: I lost because of Thanksgiving

 

There is so much to be thankful for.

There’s a story I tell in my book What Happened To My Turn that I’ve been thinking up this week. A short while after last November’s election, I attended a voodoo dance ritual for super fans of mine in the basement of the DNC. Now, you might think that this reflects badly on the DNC, but since I bought them, the DNC is what I make of it. As I watched our dumbed down hypersensitive millennials cry and scream at the sky and howl and get triggered because I lost to Donald Trump, I thought about how angry I was that 63 million Americans didn't realize it was MY f**king turn and let the Russians, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News and Galapagos Sea Bowels steal my election and coronation from beneath my oversized pants-suited ass. In a hard year, it can seem impossible to take the time to be grateful. Well, what the f**k have I got to be grateful for???  I'm not sitting on my fat ass in the White House, dictating the terms of your miserable serf lives for the next generation, when I should have been up 50 points and won in a f**king walk.  So even as we’re doubling down in the fight to undermine the values that keep America from becoming a socialist/communist genital wart like Venezuela, there is a few little things to be thankful for. Thankful for having a spineless ninny as Attorney General.  Having gutless opposition like John McCain and Jeff Flake.  Having a lapdog media on our side.  And having our cancerous hateful and divisive rhetoric endorsed by msnbc and cnn. Granted, I'd love to throw 63 million of you deplorable bastards into a gulag.  Perhaps I'll yet get that chance.  To those of you stupid enough to stand with me and forgive me every lie and every crime I'm committed in the name of...well, me...I'm grateful you're as stupid and "useful idiot" as you are. If you’re with me, add your name right now. If you're not, your pending 'suicide' is in the works. Hellary       You’re receiving this email because you owe Hellary for not having elected her last November.. If you’d like to learn more about how to repent, you can do so here. If you’d like to opt out of receiving more messages like this one, you can plan on getting your ass shipped to that gulag for conservatives soon, because I'm not done trying to screw America. Know someone who is dumb as a door knob and gets triggered when they hear "Trump"?  Forward them this email!

Sent back to the originators of the email, I imagine there's a massive triggering effect going through the voodoo dancers in the basement of the DNC...and a trail of smashed lamps in Chappaqua.

 

Busted

Dear Hellary:

THAT'S what happened.  Social justice warriors, getting a grip on themselves.  And each other.

She's probably in for a sequel with Harvey Weinstein.

You're probably wondering what Thing is doing in this picture?

So, I imagine, is Thing.  The Addams Famdamily is missing their mail handler.

They could always substitute with Franken.

We always knew that Franken was a douche canoe.  We just had no idea he was as tasteless as he is:

But Bruce does.  Now.

All those years of Wheaties were no help at all.

Franken on supreme groping...

Franken groping for symbolism...

Franken groping one big boob atop his shoulders...

Franken's even groping for words...

Don't worry, we're not off subject here...Calvin's where he is, and you know where Franken's got his grips...

Franken will frankly grope for anything...except facts.

Even the hashtaggers in the animated world are "frankincensed"...

Keep digging, hypocritical lefties.  Keep digging.

No Thanksgiving For Him

The horse obviously does.

The scammer...not so much.

Say hello to Mr. Stanley -- at least that's the name he eventually settled on -- allegedly of DHL Company.  He initially contacted my character on accounta cuz he wanted to give my character the business.

He don' know my character vewy well, do he?

Yes, this is how the whole conversation went, start to finale:


YOUR REF:CLAIMS/ATM/204

This is to bring to your notice that because of the impossibility of your transferring your funds through Bank to Bank Transfer and Western Union and Money-Gram network and also due to inability of some couier company to deliver your consignment box, we have credited your part-payment total of $10.5millon Usd  valid fund into an (ATM Card Number 5062291022744519) and I have paid the re-activation  fee and the delivery of the ATM Card To you,I paid it because the ATM Card worth of $10.5millon Usd which I have registered it delivery yesterday,it has less than Seven days to expire in the custody of the UPS delivery Company and when it expires, the
money will  go into Federal Government treasury account.

With that we decided to help you pay off the money so that the ATM Card will not expire, because I trust that when you receive your ATMCard definitely you must pay me back my money and even compensate me for helping you.(Bensir50@yandex.com) With your physical address you desire the delivery to be made so that they can deliver your ATM Card to your designated address without any delay.

Reconfirm this information's to them.

Full name......................
Home address............
Country....................
Telephone...............
Copy of your id card

Like I stated earlier, the crediting re-activation,delivery and the company registration charges has been paid by me, but we did not pay their official keeping fees since they refused,and the reason is that they do not know when you are going to contact them and the demur- rage might have increased by then, They told me that their keeping fees is $30 per day only,and I deposited it yesterday.

Below is the Contact Information of the UPS EXPRESS Customer Service Director Mr.Thomas Charles, Email Address online: (dhlcouirecompany12@gmail.com)Contact them today and also send them the security official keeping charge to avoid increase of their fees and let me know once you receive your ATM card, Important Notice, your ATM CARD package was registered as a gift so that the delivery agent will not know the content of your package okay.

Below is the Registration Informationls of your ATM CARD SHIPMENT,
SHIPMENT CODE AWB 37XcS
REGISTERED TAG FCSCB77018.
SECURITY CODE SCAT/2012UPS/396/
TRANSACTION CODE 233/CYST/101/86048/
CERTIFICATE DEPOSIT CODE SCAT/BUN/lxiv/-08/02
DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE N0.: 405576

Your faithfully
Mr.Victor Adams
United Nations Compensation 


Annnnnnd it's playtime:


If it ain't free I ain't interested.  

We receive your message.forward your full address to us as we stated to YOU in our first letter to process your ATM MASTER CARD.Below is how you will forward your full address

Name_____________

Country___________

Address__________

Occupation________

Tel____________

Sex_____________

Age______________ 

 

 

 

 If it ain't free I ain't interested.  

 

 

We receive your message.forward your full address to us as we stated to YOU in our first letter to process your ATM MASTER CARD.Below is how you will forward your full address

Name_____________

Country___________

Address__________

Occupation________

Tel____________

Sex_____________

Age______________    

 

 

 

Is it free or not?  

 

 

I receive your message. Your $10.5millon Usd has deposited to our company by Mr.Thomas Charles and all fees has been paid  Once you receive this message get back to us with your full address below are the details.  

 

 

Okay, so long as all fees are paid, then we can proceed: (and I send him the usual bogus info)

 

 

You are welcome to DHL DELIVERING COMPANY, first  of all we do appreciate for your urgent respond to this Company, i want to inform you that  your ATM MASTER CARD$10.5millon Usd was deposited to this Company by Mr.Thomas Charles, to deliver to your new destination and all the delivering fee has been paid by him,now we are proceeding on how to deliver your ATM MASTER CARD to you by tomorrow morning. with due respect dear you advice to pay this $30usd immediately to enable us stamp your package so that it will not be interrupt or delayed by any Custom,s checking point on the way delivering to your home address , and you advice to pay this $30usd immediately to enable us commence on your delivering by tomorrow morning, thank you.    So below are the content details of how you will send this fee via  western union, money gram or Ria money

 RECEIVER NAME………… KOLA AKINWUMI

 COUNTRY………… BENIN REPUBLIC

 CITY…………… COTONOU

 QUESTION…………..God

 ANSWER…………Bless

 AMOUNT………….$30usd

 MTCN…………….

 SENDER NAME………

 

You said that all the fees are paid.  You just included an unpaid fee.  

 

 

 I receive your message all the fees has already been paid like i stated to you before.And the $30 dollars that you are going to pay is to enable us commence on your delivering without  interrupt or delayed by any Custom,s checking point on the way delivering to your home address .

Thanks

Mr.Stanley  

 

 

(now all of a sudden he's Mr. Stanley)

 

 

When you said "no fees" I took you at your word "no fees".  That $30 is a "fee".  Waive it or pay it yourself.  

 

 

Yes the fees has been paid.And the official keeping fees has not been paid since the day deposited your $10.5 ATM MASTER CARD to our company which you have to pay it to enable us stamp your package so that it will not be interrupt,this is the reason.  

 

 

Well, you just go ahaid and pay that 'fee' so you can keep your word, and we can get this thing done.

 

 

I receive your message.Your are the one you supposed to pay for it because is your funds and i don't think $30 is much for you to pay for you to receive your ATM MASTER CARD.  

 

 

You told me at the start that there were NO FEES TO PAY.  Did you lie?  Yes, I think you did.  $30 isn't much, but in view of your lie, it's HUGE.    

 

 

Yes if you go true the message the fees has been paid write and the official keeping fees not been paid by anybody if you go true the message you are going to see everything their,and nobody is lie for about this that is the true because if the official keeping fees is been paid before you are going to see it in the first message that is why i told you to check the message if it is writhing their you are going to see it.  

 

 

Do you write explanatory statements for Hellary Clinton?  Yours was textbook.  

 

 

what you mean with that  

 

 

That is the way you can receive your ATM MASTER CARD because there is no way you can receive it without pay the $30 for official keeping fees.  

I repeat:  you said NO FEES.  That's a fee.  However you choose to misleadingly couch it, it's a fee.  F-E-E.  Doesn't matter the amount.  A FEE is a FEE and you said NO FEES in the beginning.  Honor your commitment.    

 

Did you know  who i am you are talking to me like that and you know am not your mate   

 

 

Talking to you as my mate?  Where'd you come up with that plunger lipped logic?  And no I don't know who you are...you contacted me about this deal, not the other way around.  

 

 

Because i am seeing it in your conversation that am lie.How i my lie to you because of $30   

 

 

Brother, if you can't see that, you have reading comprehension problems.  Here, let me help you:  from your own email "I receive your message. Your $10.5millon Usd has deposited to our company by Mr.Thomas Charles and all fees has been paid".

Those were YOUR words to me.  YOUR words.  So go on...refute YOUR OWN WORDS.   Now to the mate business:  if I spoke to you as if you were my mate, our conversation might look something like this:

Me:  let's have sex.

You:  what have you done for me lately?

Me:  F**k, I cleaned the cat box last night!  What more do you want?  

 

 

you are speak falsely here.  Are you serious it seem you do not know who iam to speak at me like you are .  

 

 

We've already established that you claim to be Mr. Stanley from DHL Company.  You could claim to be the Queen of Liechtenstein.  What does that have to do with your breach of the no fees promise?  

 

 

You see your life you want to receive ATM MASTER CARD which contain $10.5 million dollars with out pay official keeping fees.  Now you wrote to me "I receive your message. Your $10.5millon Usd has deposited to our company by Mr.Thomas Charles and all fees has been paid.

But when you see their keeping fees is $30 per day only,and deposited it yesterday. you don't talk about that,are you going to tell me how am doing my work if you want to receive your ATM MASTER CARD you have to pay official keeping fees when you pay it you have to receive.  

 

 

There you go again...more negative waves.  Don't hit me with those negative waves so early in the morning.  Think that bridge will be there, and it will be there.  It's a mother beautiful bridge...and it's gonna be there.  And no fees, either.

 

And I still think you're Hellary's excuse writer.  

 

 

what is wrong with you  I am not liked to speak to like you are . 

 

 

Well maybe if people like you are more speaked to like me do then there'd be less broked promises and fewer fees paid.  It always comes back to your promise of no fees.  And I still think you're Hellary's excuse writer.  


With that, Mr. Stanley would allow my character to vex him no mores.

But I'm still sure that he's Hellary's excuse writer.

How Big The Choice of Food Gift Can Be

Think about that 'un as you celebrate Thanksgiving with family 'n friends...

That image will spoil a few giblets... 

Sacre Bleu

Every so often, I or one of my characters gets a scam email in a foreign language.

Granted, there's Gooble Transloot available online, to hep me to read what the person is seeking from me in whatever lingo they choose to seek in; but sometimes it's more fun to 'wing it' in reply.

In this case, I used both 'winging it' and the Gooble to transloot my character's responses.

All in French.

Here is the scammer's opening gambit...in French:


Bonsoir, je viens par ce message faire une proposition qui pourra vous intéresser, car il s'agit d'un don d'une énorme somme, donc pour en savoir plus veuillez me contacter : bibinet.alain@gmail.com  

I didn't have my character bother to have it translooted; I slaughter French in a manure that loots it pretty good without much help:

Sava ze bone and hold le phone, parlez vous.  Messy bird coup le pew eiffle suzette pastry resistant, oi? Bonedchance, mona mee lisa!  

 

 

To my minor astonishment, the scammer continued on with the scam...in French.  And my character continued to respond...in a mix of looted and translated French.  See for yourself:

 

 

Je viens de lire votre message et je vous remercie d'avoir pris le temps de lire et de répondre à mon courrier. Sachez que tout ce que je vous  relate, c'est la stricte réalité. En fait, mon nom est BIBINET ALAIN FRANCOIS  72 ans et je suis Canadien, mais je suis actuellement hospitalisé en  Israël pour aller avec mes derniers jours dans la crainte de Dieu, en espérant de pouvoir réaliser mon projet avant mon dernier soupir et m'accepter dans son saint.

 

Je vous ai choisie, car en faisant des recherches sur Internet, j'ai trouvé votre adresse et c'est comme si une voix m'a parlé en disant que vous étiez la bonne personne en qui je peux mettre toute ma confiance, c'est comme si la voix m'a parlé à moi pour me dire que j'ai trouvé la bonne personne qui peut réaliser mon rêve.

Fils d'expatrié Canadien, j'ai connu l'Afrique dès le bas âge et c'est là que j'ai surtout entreprise pas mal de projets afin d'emmagasiner beaucoup de fonds et c'est cela aujourd'hui l'objet de ma donation.

Quant à mon Notaire nommé Maitre ROMAIN OMER

Je dis que c'est le responsable de mes affaires, chargé de vous suivre juridiquement pour cette donation.

Donc, j'ai pleinement confiance en lui et je vous recommande d'en faire pareille car c'est mon homme de main et cela fait bon nombres d'années que nous travaillons ensemble.

"Je peux vous demander de me transmettre les conversations que vous aurez avec mon avocat une fois que vous serez en contact.

Je remercie Dieu pour ce qui vous permet d'entrer en contact avec moi pour m'aider à réaliser ce rêve avant mon départ final.

Je vous prie de me faire parvenir une photo de vous si possible et me faire connaître vos aspirations et motivations dans la vie dans un plan soigneusement détaillé.

PS: Si je ne vous donne pas mon numéro de téléphone c'est parce que j'ai un problème au niveau de la gorge, comme si mon cancer n'était pas assez, je me demande pourquoi le bon Dieu m'inflige toute cette souffrance.

 

Que Dieu vous bénisse.

BIBINET ALAIN FRANCOIS  

 

 

Mon dieu??? C'est lemans???

 

 

J’ai bel et bien reçu ton petit mot, je t'en remercie une fois de plus pour ta bonne foi vis à vis de moi. Je ne sais quoi te dire après la lecture de ton petit mot, c'est avec les larmes aux yeux que je t’écris, ces mots, car je vois en toi une personne bien et très sincère, j'aimerais que tu sache que pour rien au monde, je pourrais jouer avec le nom de notre père suprême pour faire du mal a mon prochain qu'est-ce que je pourrais gagner en faisant cela, si je t’ai contacté, c'est parce que le seigneur m'a guidé vers toi pour réaliser ma dernière volonté et j'ai foi en lui, car il ne peut jamais me guider sur le mauvais chemin d'autant plus que c'est dans le but de faire du bien.  

 

 

Le not sure where it's bien.  En tant que grammaticien, de petits mots vont très loin. Pourquoi cela devrait-t-il mettre des larmes dans vos yeux, probablement en raison du fait que vous avez peut-être frappé votre genou sur le bureau ou attrapé vos organes génitaux dans votre mouche. Qui n'est pas agréable, oui? Et non, je ne porte pas de pyjama. De toute évidence, vous avez autre chose que vous souhaitez discuter?  

 

 

Merci pour votre message, je suis vraiment dessolé, car vous ne croyez pas donc ce fut un bon moment d'échanger avec vous.  

 

 

Avec vous?  AVEC VOUS?  A-FOCHING-VEC VOUS???   Eh.  Spank vous pour votre pli répliqué à mon massage qui a été un bon échange que vous avez noté en matinée matinale. C'est avec l'aversion mutuelle aux balles de fromage que je vous résigne dans un fumier dont vous avez besoin et qui mérite absolument. Pas besoin de me remercier ... Je vis mais pour servir.

 Perhaps my character DOES "je vis mais pour server", but not in the manure that Pepe Le Scam intended.

 

Se legere.

 

"Le gere".

 

Uranus Is Not Immune

In some places, scammers seem to be infinite.

Perhaps even here...on Uranus.

Well...maybe only in an edited scam email.

Over the years, I've heard from some clown to fronts for/represents himself to be Edward Kong.  Probably no relation to King, except perhaps as his intellectually weaker sibling.

Here's the latest Kong mail I received:


My name is Mr. Ronald H. Waters, I am a 58 year old US citizen, I reside here
in Florida. My residential address is as follows 8045 NW 71 Court Tamarac
Florida 33321 USA. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation many
years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $64,000 trying to get my
payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel to Washington D.C with all of my compensation/winning documents, and I was directed by the FBI Director to contact Special Agent Attorney Edward Kong, who is a Special Agent of the FBI that leads the Compensation/winning Department, working with the Interpol Police,Indonesia, Brazil, Russia, London, Asia, Specially CHINA, U.S.A, Nigeria, Benin and many other countries Government. I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through email to claim our winning both Delivery are frauds

He directed me to the Claims Department for my capitalized payment.Right now I
am the happiest man on earth because I have received my compensation/winning funds of $1.5 Million US Dollars.Special Agent Edward Kong showed me the full
information of some others that are yet to receive their payments and I saw
your name, address as one of the beneficiaries, and also your email address.

This is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people as they
are not in possession of your funds, and they are only making money off you. I
will advise you to contact Special Agent Edward Kong. You have to
contact him directly on this information below.

(Claims Department)
Barr. Edward Kong (Principal Attorney)
Accredited Specialist Family Lawyer
Solicitor (England and Wales, 1992)
Email: (edwardkong0123@yahoo.com)
Edward Kong Special Adviser

Finally you really have to stop dealing with these people that are contacting
you and telling you that your funds are with them, it is not in anyway with
them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you
have nothing. The only money I paid after I met Special Agent Attorney Edward
Kong was just $550 for the paper works, take note of that. Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact
Special Agent Attorney.Edward Kong so that he can help you to deliver your fund
instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for
different kind of money to complete your transaction. Thanks remain Bless  


Ah, yes...the old "I got scammed until I met Edward Kong" ploy.

Well, the edit took a definitive turn toward Uranus for reasons that will shortly become apparent:


Well, sh*t:

My name is Mr. Ronald H. Waters, I am a 58 year old citizen of the settlement of Polyp, Uranus.  I am one of several thousand that space aliens hijacked, took to their planet, and forced to appear on an alien talk show, akin to Geraldo Riveratoid or some such.  Then they shipped us to this planetary gulag on Uranus, and here we sit all broken hearted, since we tried to sh*t and only farted.  Though farting can be kinda fun in zero gravity, long as there aren't breakables around.

 I am one of those abject dumb asses that frequents an internet café here in Polyp that took part in the Compensation many years ago from African swindlers and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $64,000 trying to get my payment all to no avail.  Am I a sandpoundingly stupid dumb ass or what?

So I decided to send an email to Washington D.C with all of my compensation/winning documents, and I was directed by the twat waffle at the DNC switchboard to contact Special Agent Attorney Edward Kong, a plunger lipped zipper head of dubious antecedence and known sodomizer of knot holes in trees and komodo dragons.  He's been investigated by Interpol Police, Indonesia, Brazil, Russia, London, Asia, Specially CHINA, U.S.A, Nigeria, Benin and many other countries Government, but only those run by degenerate lefties have given him a four scar rating as a certified douche canoe and just their kinda person. I contacted him and he explained everything to me in Azerbaijani, which I do not sprechen. He said whoever I am talking to at that moment are frauds.

He was the only one in the email conversation I was having sprechen with.  Hmmm.

He directed me to the DNC Victims Claims Department for my categorization as a victim of white privilege, Donald Trump, anything conservative, et al.  Right now I am the most miserable man on Uranus because I have received via hyper mail my compensation which consisted of Hellary Clinton's book "It Was My Turn -- How Everyone And Everything But Me Lost Me The Election", an inflatable sex toy Hellary that leaks, squeaks, cackles and bitches constantly, and selected recordings of various screechy leftist politicians from the DNC that cannot be turned off.

W...T...F...

This is why I decided to email you...since misery loves company, I'm sending the alien bastards that brought me h'yah to fetch you from th'yah and bring you h'yah, so you too can sit in this cosmic sh*thole and lose money to African swindlers just like I did.  And this genital wart Special Agent Edward Kong is just the f**kwad to help that happen. You have to contact him directly on this information below.

(Lies And Fraud Department)
Barr. Edward Kong (Principal F**kheaded Attorney)
Accredited Specialist Defrauding of Clients Lawyer
Solicitor (England, Whales, Suckers and other Fish, 2017)
Email: (edwardkong0123@yahoo.com)
Edward Kong Special F**kheaded Adviser

Finally you really have to stop dealing with people that are contacting you and telling you that your funds are with them -- especially when they're people like me -- because they always forward you to f**king morons like Special Agent Attorney Edward Kong, who will try to soak you for $550, take note of that.

Once again stop contacting those people like me and f**k faces like Special Agent Attorney Edward Kong so that you can avoid winding up in a foul smelling internet café in a Uranus gulag where the locals look like octopus bodies topped by Lean Dunham's ass for a head.  

Ronald Waters,

a 58 year old citizen of Polyp, Uranus
ronaldwater01@gmail.com

 

I heard from neither Ronald nor Edward again.  And my pet rock, Seymour, prays that I never hear from the alien-like butt headed Lena Dunham, either.

To Kneel With A Seal

When a scammer insists on getting something with a seal, they don't always know what's coming back at them.

Take this scammer purporting to be with the Bank of America:

Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters

100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255

Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011

United States of America

Monday-Friday

8 a.m.-9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Saturday and Sunday

8 a.m.-4 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

The Management of the Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters here in 100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255 wishes to inform you that after a brief meeting held by the Bank executives yesterday,We deem it appropriate to intimate you that your funds will be transferred into the United States Treasury Account with the JP Morgan Chase Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York according to the record we got due to your inability to complete the transaction and your failure to meet up with a minor payment obligation.The actual transfer of your funds($20,500,000.00) into the government account comes up next week.

This is in line with the instructions of the USA Treasurer,Mrs.Rosa Gumataotao Rios that all unclaimed funds be paid into the United States Government Treasury Account as unserviceable funds in compliance to section 3 subsection 1(a) of the United States Financial Law enacted in 2001 after an attack on our dear country on September 11,2001.

Find below the profile of the banking institution where your funds will be transferred into following the government directive:, And note to responds to us with below Email ( officemails@hot.ee ) Name of Bank: JP Morgan Chase Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York. JP Morgan Chase Official Bankers for the United States Treasury Department

AC NO: 68302345093

Routing NO:JPM109593

Account Name: United States Treasury Department,USA

Note that if you still wish to receive your actual donation payment ( $20,500,000.00) do get back to us Immediately so that we will remove your funds transfer from the list of those transactions to be seized by the United States Government. Also be Informed that we need only a DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST DOCUMENT) to complete the wire transfer direct to your personal bank account if you agree.The fee to obtain the SEAL was reduced from $600 to $296 and no other fee is involved.

You are required to send the fee of $296 by WESTERN UNION or Walmart to walmart to the issuing officer at the bank where your transaction originated as stated below INFORMATION.

If we receive the MTCN today along with your bank details,we will transfer your funds ( $20,500,000.00 ) before we close office and the funds will reflect 3hours after the transfer.We will send you all the transfer documents to enable you start making cash withdrawals from your account same day the funds are transferred. We have waited for so long and we cannot continue to wait.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve your banking needs.

Yours faithfully,

Brian Moynihan

Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer

Bank of America® Corporation head Office

Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Corporate Office Headquarters,Charlotte,N.C.

Bank of America, N.A. Member FDIC.

© 2011 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.  

 

 

Ain't that quaint?  Let's see if they give their seal of approval to this edit:

 

 

Blank of 'Murica Copulate Office Headquarters

100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255

Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011

United States of 'Murica

Monday-Friday

8 a.m.-9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Saturday and Sunday

8 a.m.-4 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Any other day including holidays and hollandaise

8 a.m.-8:10 a. m.

The Mismanagement of the Blank of 'Murica Copulate Office Headquarters here in 100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255 wishes to inform you that after a brief meeting held by the Blank executives yesterday,We deemed it necessary to kneel in our briefs to protest against the United States Treasury Account with the JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York.  According to the record we got which we can't play because no one here has a turntable that turns at 33.3 rpm and has a clue where to get a phonograph needle, your inability to accept our kneeling in our briefs and your failure to meet up with a large hipped waitress named Claude puts you square on our list of persons that cannot be properly fathomed without sonar.  This has to be cleared up next week.

This is in line with the instructions of the USA Treasurer, Mrs.Rosa Jacob Jingleheimer Schmuck, which is our name, too.  What those instructions are isn't clear, because they're written in kanji and Azerbaijani, but we are certain that they are alluded to under compliance to section 3 subsection 1(a) of the Federal Endangered Feces Act enacted in 2000 after the Millennium Bug turned out to be as big a bust as Al Capone's vault and AlGore's drowning of the world by global warming by a couple years ago.  

Find below the profile of the blanking institution where compound interest is frequently mistaken with buying the rights to a religious compound in upper Silesia, a few miles from Hoboken.  And pleased to be noted that you needs responds to us with below Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Name of Bank: JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York.   JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Officially on behalf for the United States Treasury Department

AC NO: 68302345093

Routing NO:JPM109593

Account Name: Jack N Ewehoff,USA

Note that if you still wish to receive a Christmas card from Idi Amin, you're sh*t out of luck.  However, if you do get back to us Immediately we will see about getting you a Happy Barf Missed Ya card from Taylor Swift, until she sues us to stop us from doing that.  Also be Informed that we need only a DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL to complete the wire transfer direct to an off shore account if you agree.  The seal can be obtained in great quantities at Fisherman's Wharf, which is also what his dog frequently says.  The fee to obtain the SEAL was reduced from $600 to $296 but you can get yours for free with a few fish and a cage.  

You are required to have this seal send the fee of $296 by WESTERN UNION or Walmart to walmart to the issuing officer at the blank where your transaction originated as stated below in something other than kanji or Azerbaijani.  Probably Polish.

If we receive the MTCN today along with your blank details,we will insist on seeing a picture of your seal with Anthony Weiner outside a Motel 6 in Georgetown at 3am last November 9th.  We will send you all the fish you need to keep the seal from talking until Hellary's next book tour about What Happened II, which she and George Lucas are turning into a six part trilogy for NutFlux through 2025.  We have waited for so long and we cannot continue to wait.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to totally cornpone you in this manure.

Yours faithfully as long as you have those blackmail pictures from last year's Christmas party,

Brian Moynihan

Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer

Blank of 'Murica® Copulate head Office

Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Copulate Office Headquarters,Charlotte,N.C.

Blank of 'Murica, N.A. Member FWTF.

© 2017 Blank of 'Murica Copulation. All rights denied if you voted for Trump, you deplorable.

Nothing back from the originating scammer, but my pet rock might have heard from Taylor Swift's publicist and PETA.

 

"Did NOT!!!"