To Kneel With A Seal

When a scammer insists on getting something with a seal, they don't always know what's coming back at them.

Take this scammer purporting to be with the Bank of America:

Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters

100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255

Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011

United States of America

Monday-Friday

8 a.m.-9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Saturday and Sunday

8 a.m.-4 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

The Management of the Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters here in 100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255 wishes to inform you that after a brief meeting held by the Bank executives yesterday,We deem it appropriate to intimate you that your funds will be transferred into the United States Treasury Account with the JP Morgan Chase Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York according to the record we got due to your inability to complete the transaction and your failure to meet up with a minor payment obligation.The actual transfer of your funds($20,500,000.00) into the government account comes up next week.

This is in line with the instructions of the USA Treasurer,Mrs.Rosa Gumataotao Rios that all unclaimed funds be paid into the United States Government Treasury Account as unserviceable funds in compliance to section 3 subsection 1(a) of the United States Financial Law enacted in 2001 after an attack on our dear country on September 11,2001.

Find below the profile of the banking institution where your funds will be transferred into following the government directive:, And note to responds to us with below Email ( officemails@hot.ee ) Name of Bank: JP Morgan Chase Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York. JP Morgan Chase Official Bankers for the United States Treasury Department

AC NO: 68302345093

Routing NO:JPM109593

Account Name: United States Treasury Department,USA

Note that if you still wish to receive your actual donation payment ( $20,500,000.00) do get back to us Immediately so that we will remove your funds transfer from the list of those transactions to be seized by the United States Government. Also be Informed that we need only a DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST DOCUMENT) to complete the wire transfer direct to your personal bank account if you agree.The fee to obtain the SEAL was reduced from $600 to $296 and no other fee is involved.

You are required to send the fee of $296 by WESTERN UNION or Walmart to walmart to the issuing officer at the bank where your transaction originated as stated below INFORMATION.

If we receive the MTCN today along with your bank details,we will transfer your funds ( $20,500,000.00 ) before we close office and the funds will reflect 3hours after the transfer.We will send you all the transfer documents to enable you start making cash withdrawals from your account same day the funds are transferred. We have waited for so long and we cannot continue to wait.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve your banking needs.

Yours faithfully,

Brian Moynihan

Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer

Bank of America® Corporation head Office

Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Corporate Office Headquarters,Charlotte,N.C.

Bank of America, N.A. Member FDIC.

© 2011 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.  

 

 

Ain't that quaint?  Let's see if they give their seal of approval to this edit:

 

 

Blank of 'Murica Copulate Office Headquarters

100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255

Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011

United States of 'Murica

Monday-Friday

8 a.m.-9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Saturday and Sunday

8 a.m.-4 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time(EDT)

Any other day including holidays and hollandaise

8 a.m.-8:10 a. m.

The Mismanagement of the Blank of 'Murica Copulate Office Headquarters here in 100 N.Tryon St Charlotte,NC 28255 wishes to inform you that after a brief meeting held by the Blank executives yesterday,We deemed it necessary to kneel in our briefs to protest against the United States Treasury Account with the JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York.  According to the record we got which we can't play because no one here has a turntable that turns at 33.3 rpm and has a clue where to get a phonograph needle, your inability to accept our kneeling in our briefs and your failure to meet up with a large hipped waitress named Claude puts you square on our list of persons that cannot be properly fathomed without sonar.  This has to be cleared up next week.

This is in line with the instructions of the USA Treasurer, Mrs.Rosa Jacob Jingleheimer Schmuck, which is our name, too.  What those instructions are isn't clear, because they're written in kanji and Azerbaijani, but we are certain that they are alluded to under compliance to section 3 subsection 1(a) of the Federal Endangered Feces Act enacted in 2000 after the Millennium Bug turned out to be as big a bust as Al Capone's vault and AlGore's drowning of the world by global warming by a couple years ago.  

Find below the profile of the blanking institution where compound interest is frequently mistaken with buying the rights to a religious compound in upper Silesia, a few miles from Hoboken.  And pleased to be noted that you needs responds to us with below Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Name of Bank: JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York.   JP Morgan Chases Orgasms Officially on behalf for the United States Treasury Department

AC NO: 68302345093

Routing NO:JPM109593

Account Name: Jack N Ewehoff,USA

Note that if you still wish to receive a Christmas card from Idi Amin, you're sh*t out of luck.  However, if you do get back to us Immediately we will see about getting you a Happy Barf Missed Ya card from Taylor Swift, until she sues us to stop us from doing that.  Also be Informed that we need only a DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL to complete the wire transfer direct to an off shore account if you agree.  The seal can be obtained in great quantities at Fisherman's Wharf, which is also what his dog frequently says.  The fee to obtain the SEAL was reduced from $600 to $296 but you can get yours for free with a few fish and a cage.  

You are required to have this seal send the fee of $296 by WESTERN UNION or Walmart to walmart to the issuing officer at the blank where your transaction originated as stated below in something other than kanji or Azerbaijani.  Probably Polish.

If we receive the MTCN today along with your blank details,we will insist on seeing a picture of your seal with Anthony Weiner outside a Motel 6 in Georgetown at 3am last November 9th.  We will send you all the fish you need to keep the seal from talking until Hellary's next book tour about What Happened II, which she and George Lucas are turning into a six part trilogy for NutFlux through 2025.  We have waited for so long and we cannot continue to wait.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to totally cornpone you in this manure.

Yours faithfully as long as you have those blackmail pictures from last year's Christmas party,

Brian Moynihan

Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer

Blank of 'Murica® Copulate head Office

Email ( officemails@hot.ee )

Copulate Office Headquarters,Charlotte,N.C.

Blank of 'Murica, N.A. Member FWTF.

© 2017 Blank of 'Murica Copulation. All rights denied if you voted for Trump, you deplorable.

Nothing back from the originating scammer, but my pet rock might have heard from Taylor Swift's publicist and PETA.

 

"Did NOT!!!"