Facebook Faceplants Again

Scammers using either the democrap party or Faceplant as their source of choice to run a scam from, should know better.

Few things in life are bigger and better-knowd scammers than the dems and Faceplant.

Still, scammers try.  Like this one:


FROM: THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT.
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD.
BATCH NUMBER: FB-0281/544
SERIAL NUMBER: 99352748-2019
TICKET NUMBER: FB-172-60
CATEGORY: 2ND
The entire Facebook team are very happy to inform you that your name appeared on the FACEBOOK ONLINE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY and we are giving out the total sum of US$2,000,000.00 (Two Million UNITED STATE DOLLARS) which is what you have just won.
Your name was selected in a raffle that was made for the FACEBOOK ONLINE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY for the year 2019 with the lucky number (FB-225-7736) so we need your fast response so that we can proceed with the claim process of your winnings.
Your name was selected by Mr Mark Zuckerberg the CEO of Facebook (Founder & Chief Executive Officer ). The promotion was made to make all Facebook users to benefit from the profit the company made while they use Facebook, Facebook is the first and ever largest means of meeting both old and new friends, the promo was done to serve as a means of appreciation to visitors on our site and also to help people to fight off poverty and to maintain a good standard of living, kindly contact Mr. Thomas Charles the Facebook Promo Coordinator and appointed as your claims officer via this email (facebookonlineinfo01@usa.com) immediately with the following information about you below:
Full Name:
Residential Address:
Private Mobile Number:
Date Of Birth
Occupation:
As soon as he gets your email with all the information stated above he will tell you on what next to do as regards the claiming and receiving of your winnings of US$2,000,000.00
Congratulations to you again on your winnings in the Facebook Promo 2019, we do hope you be among the lucky winners of the 2020 Lottery
Note: For security reasons and due to the mix-up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this notification strictly from public notice until your claim has been processed and your money remitted. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by non-participants of this program. BE WARNED
FACEBOOK COMPANY
LOTTERY DEPARTMENT  


My pet rock, Seymour, was tied up with another edit, so he left this one to Element to attend to.  And since we all know that elements never forget....:


From: Faceplant Company <marketing@vit34.vn>
Sent: Thursday, October 31, 2019 3:00 PM
To: Recipients <marketing@vit34.vn>
Subject: COAGULATIONS TO YOU FROM THE FACEPLANT COMPANY

 

FACEPLANT ONLINE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY
FROM: THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT.
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD.
BATCH NUMBER: FP-0281/544
SERIAL NUMBER: 99352748-2019
TICKET NUMBER: WTF-172-60
CATEGORY: ADAMSCHIFFED CLUSTERF**K'D

The entire Faceplant team are very meth'd up while informing you that your name appeared on the US HOUSE OF REPREHENSIBLE DEMOCRAPS INTERNATIONAL SCAM and we are giving you a subpoena to testify during our impearment hearings to a talking points thing that will have you implicate the president in being a bad person.  You must do this because everything else we've concocted and tried has blowd up in our fouled faces.

Your name was selected in a raffle that was throwd together by the desperate lowlifes of the DNC in conjunction with cnn who don't like the fun you've made of them being as bad as they truly are.  You are required to come here and testify that you overheard the president promise the Ukraine a shipment of ice-cream crapping unicorns if they would provide proof of all the democraps that have connections in Ukraine oil and gas interests, which pretty much covers top House dems, a current and former dem running for president, and a couple of rinos we've sucked into our deep state miasma.  So we need your fast response so that we can proceed with the inquiry before people smarter than us -- which is the majority of Americans -- figure out just how crooked and corrupt Schiff, Bela Pelosi and the rest really are.

Your name was selected by Mr Mark Zuckerberg the CEO of Faceplant (Founder & Chief Executive Officer) after he had words with Lieawatha and the dumbest tree stump in the dem party, aoc. Plus we heard that the president might consider your name as a future Burrito Supreme Court justice, wherein we need time to find someone that will say you behaved inappropriately to them 36-40 years ago, when you asked for their phone number.  NOW -- our other dawg imitations -- demand that we do this.  It doesn't matter if we have to pay someone to make the claim like we did with Kavanaugh; it's the ludicrousness of the charge that matters to us in our swamp of corruption.

We would have considered using someone else if we weren't pissed at you for not voting for our broom-rider of choice in 2016; how could you DO that???  Do you know how many 'suicides' have occurred because she lost???  And that any of us could be next on her 'staged suicides' list??? 

We are the entitled.  We are the elite.  We were put on Earth by a Coke bottle inadvertently deified in the African bush in a movie to be the ruling class.  We are also full of inert shit, but we can overlook that once we have the powah.  The authoritah.  Without us, climate change will be a cyclical thing that no one will worry about and truth be told, wouldn't have to, but we need it as a means to an end...that end being our getting total powah over you meaningless serfs.

We are democraps...that is what we believe and we deserve.

So anyway, you are subpoenaed to appear.  Don't worry about what to say...we have your statement already writ.  You just say it and then go the way of David Hogg...back to useless obscurity.  You mean nothing when we don't need you for our own foul ends.  We're democraps...that's all we ever were.

Faceplant is the first and ever largest means of taking advantage of the sheeple and useful idiots out there to promote our totalitarian aims.  It is NOT to help you to fight off poverty and to maintain a good standard of living; that is reserved for our elites only.  That's why Bernie Sanders has three homes, and you rent.  Haha.

So you are demanded to contact the gender neutral non-binary octosexual orthopod Thomaseena Charles the Faceplant Coordinator and appointed as your mastah via this email (facebookonlineinfo01@usa.com) immediately with the following information about you below:

Full Name:
Residential Address:
Private Mobile Number:
Date Of Birth
Occupation:

As soon as it gets your email with all the information stated above it will tell you on what next to do as regards your appearing before our House crimeittee and receiving of your talking points to spew for cnn and ms13nbc cameras.

Congratulations to you for not as yet winding up on Hellary's pending 'suicides to do' list.

Note: For security reasons and due to not all media being under our heel on this, we demand that you keep this notification strictly from public notice until you has been processed and your testimony falsely verified. This is part of our security protocol to avoid yet another FAIL in our life-long efforts to imcherry a president we only hated after he ran against and beat Hellary. 

Attempting to expose us as unscrupulous acts BE WARNED.

FACEPLANT COMPANY
US HOUSE OF REPREHENSIBLES DEMOCRAP PARTY  

 

My two 'editing-gone-wild' pet rocks have the Democrap party pretty well figured out it seems.  No replies...even from the original scammers.

FB's Zuckerborg Plays Suckerborg

My scambaiting character heard from hisself, Faceplant's own Mark Zuckerberg. 

Or so the emailer desperately wants my character to think:

                                  "CONGRATULATIONS FROM FACEBOOK!!!"

ATTENTION: WINNER,

The Entire Facebook team are very happy to inform you that your name appeared on the Facebook Online Email Lottery JULY/AUGUST. We are giving out the total sum of US$1000,000.00.

THE NUMBERS BELOW SHOULD BE SAFE AND CONFIDENTIAL, UNTIL YOU FINALLY GET YOUR PRIZE MONEY: Serial Number: (68625751907) Ticket Number: (7836980545189), Ref No: (255126278102/2526)

To avoid unnecessary delays and complications. please remember to quote your TICKET, REFERENCE & SERIAL NUMBERS. This notification is to inform you that you are a lucky winner of the sum of $1000,000.00 from the last drawn. We announced this day 07/07/ 2019.

 

Kindly send all required information's Here: ( marke93411@gmail.com). Remember to quote your TICKET, REFERENCE & SERIAL NUMBERS, in all correspondences. Furthermore, if there is any change in email address please notify us immediately for record and security purposes.As we await your response with the below required information's:

FULL NAME :..... FULL CONTACT ADDRESS :.....  PHONE NUMBER :.....  SEX :.....  NATIONALITY....

This is one of our innovations to encourage Facebook users, Our own way of saying a BIG THANK YOU, And to all our users for making Facebook their number one Social Networking to hook up with families, Friends, And new people all over the World.

 

email:-  marke93411@gmail.com

phone to reach us is (650) 271-9470

 

 

Best Regards,

Facebook Management.

(Promo @ 2019).  

 

 

Somehow, me thinks not:

 

 

So faceplant sez I won sumpin'.  That's nice.  

 

 

Thank you very much for your time and your email was well acknowledge by us please not that you are Facebook lottery winner amd also the ambassador of Facebook lottery promo draw for thiis month of August.

Please not that you will be interviewed and video just like our previous winners and also your correct address is needed with a valid ID card for proper verification.

Your Atm card parcel will be issued to you immediately after the interview.

We will also advise you give us the precise time you will be at home

Your urgent response is needed 

Thank you for your time and consideration 

 

 

Ol' Zuck sounds like he's still testifying in front of some panel or another.  And this is the guy I'm supposed to let scam my character?

 

 

Having well read your reply, I see that I am not a winner of faceplant lottery, I am not ambassador of faceplant lottery promo draw, and I will not be interviewed. So what was the point of your email?  

 

 

We are still waiting for your response so as to proceed with the process and schedule a flight for your visit.  

 

 

Where do you expect me to fly to?  

 

 

Thank for the mail..we are come for a visit taking a flight in person for your interview and we are still waiting for you to make the necessary payment fees for the yellow tag and insurance security fees which is 450$ so that we can commence immediately with the delivery of the Atm card parcel.

Please noted  that requesting for deduction of fees does not meet our personal ethics as it is not intend to cause you any embarrassment note that all requested fees will be paid by beneficiaries of the said winnings..

Have a nice day.   

 

Just what are your personal ethics? 

 

 

I hope you understand English go and ready my previous mail..  

 

 

The Brits are at times very hard to understand especially when they're cocked up.

Your previous email wasn't ready, so I took that to mean you're struggling with your answer.

Just what are your personal ethics?  

 

 

It is not important what is ethics a thing just follow the instructions you are given for payment of 450$ fees.  Can you read understand this?  

 

 

Not in your zombified syntax.  And yes, ethics are a thing that matters.  You might try your grammar checker and email a thing again for greater Claritin, if not for tasting great for a third less calumnies.  Do you follow?  

 

 

We haves not time for gaming the system if you are unable to comply plz speak so we can moves the thing to next steps.  Time is not working for you.

 

 

Zuck, your borg has taken over your iPhone to a degree rarely seed in Azerbaijan.  Whether you can or can-can moves the thing, it won't matter:  she won't likes where you moves it to and will insist you moves it again and again.  Time -- being a failed ragazine -- never worked for me in the first of place.  You sabe?  

 

That last proved to be too much for The Zuck, and thus ended an online relationship that capsized and sank in the waters off Cape Skunkfeathers...

 

"Facebook" Tries Again

He ain't the only one.

To some, Facebook is the end-all.

To others, it's the road to the end-of-it-all.

In Scamland, it's another opportunity:


Easily move this message to your Inbox if it is delivered to the "Junk Email / Spam"

 

Facebook

 

Dear Facebook User,

 

Charity Facebook team wants to let you know and congratulate you for becoming our Facebook GiveBack winners.

 

It's part of a $ 1 billion dollar ($ 1 billion) dollars donated by the CEO of Facebook.

Read more here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/10528624/Mark-Zuckerberg-donates-1bn-to-charity.html

 

 

Randomly, you chose Facebook admin on Facebook. Draw Manager is an automated computer program that randomly selects Facebook users.

 

This e-mail message serves as your final alert!

 

You have been chosen and can apply for part of the Facebook charity funds.

 

You have been approved to claim a charitable amount of: $ 1,000,000 (one million US dollars).

 

Charity service amount: $ 1,000,000

Drawdown No: TFB 12329317635197437-JEN / 2018

Order number: TFB 29501870209289 / US877

 

Thanks for using Facebook. Facebook and Facebook users have increased their Facebook revenue by 41%

 

How to Claim Your Facebook Charity Donation.

 

Step 1:

 

Simply complete this form:

 

Your name:

Your nationality:

Your current country of residence:

Your age:

Your phone:

Your job:

How long have you been using Facebook?

 

Step 2:

 

Please fill in the form above and send it to the Facebook Charity Manager.

 

Name: Todd Jackson

E-mail: toddjackson101@outlook.com

Telephone number: 1-800-FACBOOK

 

Contact Todd Jackson at the e-mail address above to start the process of releasing your Facebook donation.

 

It is very important that you keep the confidentiality and privacy of this announcement.

 

To avoid unauthorised exploitation or abuse of the Facebook charity program, we encourage you to keep the news private until you get funds into your account.

 

For more information on how to apply for your Facebook charitable funds, please contact Todd Jackson with the email address above.  

 

 

Beneath all this was a wonderful disclaimer that suggested this email originated out of the Road Transportation Department of Malaysia. I guess that their road projects are a bit limited, eh?

 

Well, never one to shirk a good edit, my faithful pet rock, Seymour, was all over this one:

 

 

Easily move this message to your outhouse if it is delivered to the "indoor outhouse"

 

Faceplant

 

Dear Faceplant User,

 

Chastity Faceplant team wants to let you know and congratulate you for becoming our Faceplant Douche Canoe winners.

 

 

It's part of a $ 1 googleplex dollar ($ 1...oh hell, it's a crapload of zeros, take our woid for it) dollars donated by the CEO of Faceplant, Mr. Zark Muckerborg.

 

 

 

 

Randomly, you chose Faceplant admin on Faceplant. We congratulate you for not choosing Facepalm.  That wouldn't have won you

doodly squat piles.  Draw Manager is an automated computer bot that looks like Boris, speaks like Natasha, and goes on unexplained

pogroms looking for a moose and squirrel in Newark. 

We do not know why Newark.  It's a Russian bot and paid for, so take it with a grain of Hellary.  Have a bucket of water ready if

you find her broom near you.

 

This e-mail message serves as your final alert that something definitely Faceplant is come your curd or whey!

 

 

You have been chosen and can apply for part of the Faceplant Whackadoodle.  It's a thing.

 

You have been approved to claim to be a distant relative of Sebastian Lipshitz and be branded all sorts of negative things by cnn because he voted not for Hellary. 

Thanks for using Faceplant. Faceplant and Faceplant users have increased their Faceplant experiences by 41%.

 

 

 

 

Facepalm and Facepalm users cannot claim that, though they say their experiences are up 99% after hearing Nancy Bela Pelosi attempt to speak.

 

Step 1:

 

Simply complete this sentence:  I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I defecate uncontrollably because I mistook Exlax for __________:

 

Step 2:

 

Please stop asking us to play candy crush you twat nozzle and send it to the Faceplant Chastity Gender Neutralager.

 

Name: Todd Jackson

E-mail: toddjackson101@outlook.com

Telephone number: 1-800-FACPLNT

 

Contact Todd Jackson at the e-mail address above to start the process of releasing the beagles, bagels or bugles of warts on your Faceplant page.

 

It is very important that you keep the confidentiality and privacy of this announcement to yourself and the next seventeen generations of your antecedence.

 

To avoid unauthorised exploitation or abuse of the Faceplant chastity program, we encourage you to not have sex with a Yugo.

 

For more information on how to understand how you got this crap from Faceplant, please don't contact Todd Jackson with the email address above. 

If you just want to insult the bastard, that's fine...contact him.

 

---

KARDASHIAN TV SHOWS SUCK ASHLEY DUDD. 

DISCLAIMER: This e-mail and any files transmitted with it ("Message") are intended only for the use of abject morons and may contain information that is pubic, infectious, and systematically douche nozzled.  That means that the Official Secrets Act 1972 is poobah. You are hereby notified that the taking of any action in reliance upon, or any review, retransmission, retention, disclosure, dissemination, distribution, printing or copying of this Message or any part thereof by anyone other than the intended recipient(s) is manifest dysentery.  Bring your own toilet paper and plenty of it.  If you have received this Message, stop registering as a democrap.  Opinions, conclusions and other information in this Message that come from The View, MSNBC or CNN do not relate to the official work of the Compost Transport Department of Malaysia, which wouldn't want to handle the compost from The View, MSNBC or CNN, and is thereby not endorsed by the Compost Transport Department of Malaysia.

WARNING: Computer viruses can be transmitted via virtual hamster sex with microscopic dildos cleverly disguised in wheels.  The recipient(s) should check this Message for the presence of something nefarious like that. The Compost Transport Department of Malaysia accepts no liability for any damage caused by audio and visual images of Nancy Pelosi. E-mail transmission cannot be guaranteed if Maxine Waters or Dickie Durbin violated them. Don't ask Hank Johnson; he's still on Guam-Capsize watch.

---

Nothing back from Face-anything.  Or the Road Transport Department of Malaysia.  Seymour was rather looking forward to hearing from them.

 

"Was NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFFFT!!"

 

 

 

Facepalm Gets Scammed

One of my scambaiting characters -- one that is NOT currently on Failbook -- just got informed by Failbook that he 'won' a Failbook international lottery.

What won't ol' Zuck think of next?

Whatever it is, it won't be giving 50 people world wide $650,000 each.  Cheap bastard.

What I love more about this scam is it begins with another "from the desk of" openings.

I HATE talking furniture.

Anyway, here's the scam:

FACEBOOK ONLINE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY
FROM: THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
CATEGORY: 2ND

Attention: Facebook User,

CONGRATULATIONS FROM FACEBOOK!!!

Facebook is aimed at saying A BIG THANK YOU to all our Online Users for making Facebook their number one means to Connect, Communicate, Relate and Hookup with their Families, Love Ones and Friends over the years.

Congratulations your Facebook Account won The online draw was Conducted by a random selection of email you where picked by an Advanced Automated Random Computer search by the Facebook Group. So We are pleased to inform you of the result of the DRAW held on (7TH JULY 2016) by Facebook Inc in cash Promotion to encourage the usage of Facebook Users world wide, your Facebook Email Account was among the 50 Lucky Winners who won ( Six Hundred Thousand United State Dollars ) each on the Facebook Promotion Award Attached to Ticket Number (5647600545189), Lucky Number:(2551256002/244) and Serial Number (55643451907).

Kindly get back to us for further instructions as you are required to contact our dispatch dept ( f_promo7@aol.com ) by signifying your interest by providing your most confidential your NAME, CELL PHONE NUMBER for quick communication also your HOME ADDRESS and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.

Acknowledge this mail by replying back immediately.

Yours Faithfully,
John Cole
Promo Coordinator.
© 2016 FACEBOOK  


And it's written so convincingly, too.  Even down to the copyright symbol.

*snort*

Of course, the scam will be 'in' when fools that believe write back and get told they have to pay some kind of a servicing or shipping fee to collect their money.  They'll pay it -- usually by Western Union or Money Gram -- and the scammers win while the fools that believe get no $650,000 but do make the Scam Land Mugu Wall of Shame.

Meantime...my character that was contacted...well, let's just say that he takes a different approach.  He edits the scam email, and sends it back to the Failbook yardbirds and dozens of their pals and colleagues, looking something like this:


FACEPALM ONLINE INTERNATIONAL COCKUPPERY
FROM: THE DESK OF A PERSON SO STUPID THE DESK HAS TO SPEAK FOR HIM
CATEGORY: 3RD WORLD TWATWAFFLE

Attention: Facepalm User,

A piece of talking furniture at FACEPALM says CONGRATULATIONS FROM FACEPALM!!!

BUZZZZZZER...WINNER...WINNER...WINNER...WINNER....WINNER...NOT...NOT...NOT...NOT..NOT

Facepalm is aimed at saying A BIG F**K Y'ALL to all our Online Users for making Facepalm their number two means while sitting on the can, between web surfing Kim Kardashian's butt, MSNBC interviewing marmots about violence in Kookamonga, Hellary Clinton's latest lies and how Earthly AGW is f**king up the climate on Uranus, a planet none to happy with us already for having named it that.

Congratulations your Facepalm Account **won** an online draw that was conducted by a random selection of pillaged Fast Achmed's Cous Cous 'n Camel Outlet Shops in Arab Springville, where you wuz picked along with uncounted noses by a bedouin disguised as an Advanced Automated Random Computer after seeing Cartman fake being a computer to fool Butters in a South Park episode, which was just seed by the Facepalm Group. So we are practically wetting ourselves in puppy-like excitement to inform you of this fallacious result held on (7TH JULY 2016) by Facepalm Inc to encourage gullible recipients to send us money from Facepalm users world wide while thinking that they'll get more. Great work if you can get it!!!

Out of billions of Facepalm users, YOU – yeah, that's YOU this talking desk is pointing an open drawer at – are one of 50 Facepalm Email Accounts (out of probably thousands we've sent this email to) who will now think that they've won ( Six Hundred Thousand United State Dollars ) each on the Facepalm Promotion Online Award!

Hey...a talking desk wouldn't LIE to you like the DNC and MSNBC would. Furniture ain't capable of that! Unless we're trained that way.

Was that a “my bad” moment?

Now comes some pretty useless sh*t that's required to keep up the illusion here...your (and thousands of others) winning numbers are Ticket Number (5647600545189), Lucky Number:(2551256002/244) and Serial Number (55643451907). Absolutely all of which were hacked from Hellary's primate email server and subsequently obtained by Wikileaks from the Russians, Chinese, North Koreans and even the one man Liechtensteinian Secret Service.

Kindly get back to this talking desk (because the people around here are as useless as politicians during a fact finding hearing) for further instructions as you are required to contact a desk in our dispatch dept ( f_promo7@aol.com ) by signifying you bought this sh*t and provide to that desk your most confidential your NAME, CELL PHONE NUMBER for quick communication also your HOME ADDRESS and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN. None of which will remain confidential once it's on Hellary's leaky server.

Acknowledge this mail by replying back immediately and give us cause to change our Depends and go 'happy puppy' all over again.

Insincerely,
The Talking Desk of John Cole
Who Is One Lazy Facepalm Sack of Fecal Hellary Testimony

© 2016 FACEPALM

A Zuckerborg World Wide Conspiracy to control blackberries, blueberries, droids, smart phones, dumb phones, Ernestine snort, ipods, ipads, itampons and whatever other ish*t will be coming out with Star Wars VIII logos on it for Christmas, Harmonica, et al...  

What came as no surprise, I heard nothing back from the originating scammer.  I did hear from one past scammer who occasionally gets aggrieved with my continuing to email him long after he demanded (and then pleaded) that I stop:

why you not leave me alone?  

I told you, I'm not in the business of giving people loans.  Why do you keeping asking me to leave you a loan when you KNOW by now I don't do loans?  What in the seersucker horsehair butt thonged  f**k is the matter with you???  I say again:  I won't LEAVE YOU A LOAN. 

If my pet rock Seymour were home, that'd be good for a pet rock *facepalm*.


 

FacePlant Scam

Today was a day of dread.  I got an email from Facebook.

Not a pleasant one.

Read it yourself:


Hello,

We are sorry,Your account will be close permanent on Facebook after 48 hours,due to the beach of the Privacy Policy at facebook,and also because we got a lot of black report on your account.  To prevent Facebook from close your account click on the following link and commitment to the steps as it should,

                                                                Click Here

(c) Facebook Team  All right reserved.
FaceBook ID:  4355674109589327

In the icons of Facebook, I reckon that rates a

Now, other than an ex-friend who recently went mentally unstable and 100% hate mode on me, the only people who could have filed "black report" on me would be some politically correct, trigger- warning-enabled, in-need-of-safe-zone college wusses.  Or lefties (either of them when I post something on a political site).  Or trolls (no shortage of them online, period).  Or hellary crimepaign supporters.

Oh hell...so mebbe I AM in trouble  ;-)

Anyway, to Failbook  

it was obvious I needed to reply somehow, and before that "48 hour" deadline.  So I put on the ol' edit hat, tweaked their message, and sent it back to the originator thus:

Oh Hellno ,   We are sorry...you can only imagine HOW f**king sorry we really are...but Your account has been marked for a speciological gender change which will require you to use restrooms in safe zone designated areas of college campuses where you will find hoards of college students curled up in balls, fouling themselves repeatedly, because someone said "Rush Limbaugh" within their sensitive hearing, and failed to respect their space, causing a meltdown not unlike hellary clinton in lamp smashing mode.  Failure of you to abide by this dicktate will somehow result (damned if we know how, because after "on-off", we don't know sh*t about Faceplant) in us threatening to close your account permanently on Facebook after 48 hours; actually, we didn't know that 48 Hours was still on the air.  But if it is, after it's over, you won't no mores has a working Failbook account.  Haha.  We do this due to the beach of the Privacy Policy at Faceplant by you, the party of the son of a beach, and also because we hope we are threatening someone much dumber than us.  To prevent our inept Failbook threat from happening, you can ignore this email.  *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*  Dammit, we did NOT just type that!!!  No...to prevent close of your account you must say a prayer to a toilet containing a reasonable facsimile of a democrap candidate for president, do some meth 'n Starbucks and click on the following link that will allow us to f**k up your computer:   Click here...uh...try it again...er...WTF...those hacker IT jackoffs said this would work.....DAMMIT...F**KING JACKWAGONS!

© 2016 Failbook Twatwaffles. All rights are trigger words that send leftists screaming for their drum circle and cocaine safe zones. FacePlant ID or ID Not...that is the question. Needless to say, I don't reckon that this reply went over well: ..but it didn't elicit a response from Failbook.  And no one from 48 Hours is demanding I answer questions...