FacePlant Scam

Today was a day of dread.  I got an email from Facebook.

Not a pleasant one.

Read it yourself:


Hello,

We are sorry,Your account will be close permanent on Facebook after 48 hours,due to the beach of the Privacy Policy at facebook,and also because we got a lot of black report on your account.  To prevent Facebook from close your account click on the following link and commitment to the steps as it should,

                                                                Click Here

(c) Facebook Team  All right reserved.
FaceBook ID:  4355674109589327

In the icons of Facebook, I reckon that rates a

Now, other than an ex-friend who recently went mentally unstable and 100% hate mode on me, the only people who could have filed "black report" on me would be some politically correct, trigger- warning-enabled, in-need-of-safe-zone college wusses.  Or lefties (either of them when I post something on a political site).  Or trolls (no shortage of them online, period).  Or hellary crimepaign supporters.

Oh hell...so mebbe I AM in trouble  ;-)

Anyway, to Failbook  

it was obvious I needed to reply somehow, and before that "48 hour" deadline.  So I put on the ol' edit hat, tweaked their message, and sent it back to the originator thus:

Oh Hellno ,   We are sorry...you can only imagine HOW f**king sorry we really are...but Your account has been marked for a speciological gender change which will require you to use restrooms in safe zone designated areas of college campuses where you will find hoards of college students curled up in balls, fouling themselves repeatedly, because someone said "Rush Limbaugh" within their sensitive hearing, and failed to respect their space, causing a meltdown not unlike hellary clinton in lamp smashing mode.  Failure of you to abide by this dicktate will somehow result (damned if we know how, because after "on-off", we don't know sh*t about Faceplant) in us threatening to close your account permanently on Facebook after 48 hours; actually, we didn't know that 48 Hours was still on the air.  But if it is, after it's over, you won't no mores has a working Failbook account.  Haha.  We do this due to the beach of the Privacy Policy at Faceplant by you, the party of the son of a beach, and also because we hope we are threatening someone much dumber than us.  To prevent our inept Failbook threat from happening, you can ignore this email.  *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*  Dammit, we did NOT just type that!!!  No...to prevent close of your account you must say a prayer to a toilet containing a reasonable facsimile of a democrap candidate for president, do some meth 'n Starbucks and click on the following link that will allow us to f**k up your computer:   Click here...uh...try it again...er...WTF...those hacker IT jackoffs said this would work.....DAMMIT...F**KING JACKWAGONS!

© 2016 Failbook Twatwaffles. All rights are trigger words that send leftists screaming for their drum circle and cocaine safe zones. FacePlant ID or ID Not...that is the question. Needless to say, I don't reckon that this reply went over well: ..but it didn't elicit a response from Failbook.  And no one from 48 Hours is demanding I answer questions...