Auto Bet On More Variants

The "fourteen days to flatten the curve" just keep growing.

So does the abject BS behind it.

I was recently amused to hear a report locally that about a dozen zoo animals at the Denver (CO) Zoo had tested positive for the COVID 19 virus.

Lions and tigers.  Bears were not mentioned.

Oh my.

The story indicated that the animals displayed symptoms like coughing and sneezing.

None wound up on ventilators and none died.

There was no mention of vaccine mandates.  And I don't reckon they took well to the swab test.

My pet rock, Seymour, suddenly went *TOING* and asked if I'd heard that at a car dealership locally, a percentage of the vehicles had come down with CARVID 19, causing great consternation in news rooms hereabouts.

I had to admit that I'd missed that one.

At any rate, Seymour thought it'd be useful to publish his claim on one of my social media sites.

The results?  An interesting back 'n forth between Seymour and a commenter from the state of Georgia:

Just heard a news story that over a dozen animals at the Denver Zoo tested positive for COVID 19. All recovered without a vaccine. Next up: 57 of 200 autos at a car dealership in Denver tested positive for CARVID 19. Symptoms include wheezing, coughing and backfiring when started. One Ford Pinto and two Yugos did not recover. 

cnn is warning about an outbreak of the GM Variant CARVID 19 virus...

Your post has grave consequences. I have questions. Is this a pandemic or an epidemic? Will foreign oil cure the innards of the cars? Will domestic gasoline be able to clear out those fuel injectors in time? The Air Filter has now become an all important protective device. Furthermore a diaper must be put on all exhaust pipes to stop the spread of the CARVID-19 Virus. Thank you for informing us all of this deadly outbreak. Your contribution is invaluable.

It seems to fall in the autos-no-longer-immune cartegory. Domestic vs foreign oil dependzoil on the grade. All cars will be required to wear masks over their grills.

 Consumer Retorts will shortly publish a survey of the Top and Bottom 10 Vehicle brands most and least likely to suffer ejectile dysfunction in their fuel systems as a result of CARVID 19 exposure.

 Remember, we're all in this together...unless it's a smart car.

Damn I forgot about the ejectile dysfunction. Maybe Pfizer can make a Viagas additive.

It's out for bid between Pennzoil, Castroil, Immobile 1 and Oliveoil, if Popeye signs on.

Regarding Pfizer, their efforts at an auto version of Viagra met some difficulties when, in field tests on used cars, it operated more like Niagra, showing significant fall off in performance. Your car's results may vary...

Not sure who'll pick up Seymour's post and run with it as a news story, but I can tell you that cnn and ms13nbc are stupid enough to do so.

time Ragazine Tanks

Small 't' time Ragazine is attempting to sink as low in the outhouse pit as cnn and the dnc.

And they're succeeding with the sinkage.

They apparently ran a cover that has POTUS looking "down" on a crying child, meant to represent an illegal immigrant child separated from her parents by this bad, bad POTUS.

Since coming out with this impropaganda cover to please their toxic democrap allies, time has caught it from all sides for joining the fake news regime.

And the photo shoppers are having a field day at time's expense.

Here's a few examples:

Of course, time Ragazine won't print anything positive and truthful about POTUS, because it doesn't fit the template that's been dictated to them by the dnc; and Antifa would probably trash their offices if time attempted to leave the fake news ghetto.

So you'll never see a fact-filled time Ragazine cover like this:

And you won't see the actual truth behind the time Ragazine cover that started all this:

And therefore, you'll never see or hear the truth about this current "crisis" from time Ragazine and their commissars monitoring their adherence to talking points.  That said, an enterprising photo shopper has given time Ragazine a cover that is as close to the real truth that the lamestream servile mediocres won't touch...because it doesn't fit the current Nazi/Communist template they are ordered to follow by the dnc.  And this one comes as close to truth as is humanly possible.

In short, THAT, ladies and gentlemen, IS the malignant face of the democrap party in 2018.

Scamming The News

Whatever your opinions of President Donald Trump, he certainly gets under the skin of the Fourth Estate.

They, who have punked so many others over the years, cannot stand being punked now by a non politician who refuses to play by their rules.

That said, I got what I consider to be a first in my 18 years of scambaiting:  an email scam from ABC News.

Oh, I know:  they and others have been scamming me on the nightly news for years (think Dan Rather, Brian Williams, etc).  But not in email.

Granted, the email probably isn't from THE ABC News; but they say they are, and that was enough to have at.

Here's how they played:

"To Whom It May Concern"

 

If you’re the owner of this email (and it was that of one of my scambaiting characters), respond immediately.

 

I’m Ms.  Rachel Willington, the assistant director of the ABC NEWS. I’m contacting you today in regard to a letter which was brought to my desk by two unknown Investigators and this needs your urgent attention.

 

It was stated on the letter that you have an unclaimed funds with sum amount $10.6 Million United States Dollars which I believe you may know about it or maybe you’re not notified by the Government.

 

Should in case you have been keeping silent to the claim to your legitimate funds or maybe you’re thinking that it’s not real, you’re killing yourself with negative mindset because the two unknown investigators who came to my office explained carefully to me that the Government is holding back your funds because you haven’t shown any seriousness to the claim of your $10.6 Million United States Dollars and the United States Government is trying to take full ownership of the funds if you don’t act fast.  

 

They also explained that all those people who says to you DON’T SEND FEES TO SOMEONE WHO WANT TO HELP YOU GET YOUR FUNDS they are all liars and they work for the Government.  They are there to discourage you from getting your legitimate money and if you don’t act fast now, the Government is going to take full ownership of the funds.

 

You’re hereby advice to contact Mr. Josh Margolin Chief Investigative Reporter of ABC News and no other person. He will provide you with a lawyer who will help you get your money back from the Government.

 

Contact Email: joshmargolin@investigativereporter.abc.ezyro.com

 

Thank you for your Understand.

 

Regard

Ms. Rachel Willington

Assistant Director Of ABC NEWS  

 

 

Cracks me up.  And elicited a *TOING* that I simply had to follow up with an edit: 

 

To Whom It Better Concern Unless You Don't Mind Us Doing A Faked Expose (including photoshops) On Your Leaving a Georgetown Motel 6 At 2:30AM With An Inflatable Yak Named Hellary Sex Toy on the morning of November 9, 2016:

 

 

There's no point in denying it, whether you're the owner of this email (see whatever email addy we choose to insert h'yar) or not; unless you want one of our crews from Bad Datelines to trash your reputation, you will respond immediately.

 

I’m Ms.  Rachel Twat Waffle Willington, the assistant misdirector of the ABC NEWS. I’m contacting you today in regard to a letter which was brought to my desk by two unknown Investigators that were fired along with former CBS and NBC anchordorks, and that's all the more reason that this needs your urgent attention.

 

 

It was stated on the letter that you are someone what makes fun of our Fourth Estate, calls us fake news, laughs at our poor put-upon whorespondents – regardless of their gender identity – being bullied by Whozits Huckabee at press debriefings, and doesn't think that Russians elected Trump and millions of people will die if AlGore's man-bear-pig isn't put on the Federal Endangered Feces list.

Shame on you for your failure to give us our entitled right to shape the news the way we want. How DARE you leave the sheeple herd and have your own thoughts on things. You obviously didn't get the DNC talking points memo, you evil, mean-spirited self-thinker.

 

 

Should in case you think we're joking here or maybe you’re thinking that this email is as real as cnn, you’re killing our influence with your negative mindset waves. Believe a ewe or me, we are 100% as serial as AlGore's man-bear-pig or Fauxcahontas' claim that Obolacare replacement will kill billions of people in Uranus, Massachusetts; and this because the two unknown investigators who came to my office explained carefully to me that purple hat wearing aliens in twat waffle suits comparing assholes and oranges can prove to Mika Brezsinski that crummy core meth plays well in Hollyweird and goes a long way to explain why Bela Pelosi has lost her curds and way since 2010. Our make-it-up-as-we-go reporters are standing by to trash you like a Trump family member if you don’t act fast.  

 

 

They also explained that they're getting paid by George Prune Soros and Debbie Medusa Schultz ONLY on the condition that they bring you to your knees and force your compliance here. And anyone at Fox that says otherunwise are all liars and are dressed funny by a ventriloquist dummy named Achmed.

Not Walter; he has gas.

 

You’re hereby advice to contact Mr. Josh Margolin,  the chef Incestigative Repooter of ABC News and no other person who, living or dead, was with Brian Williams at the signing of the Declaration of Incontinence. He will provide you with a lawyer who will help you indicted by a jury rigged of your pears and collies.

 

Contact Email: joshmargolin@investigativereporter.abc.ezyro.com

 

Spank you for your total lack of Understand.

 

Regard

Ms. Rachel Twat Waffle Willington

Assistant MisDirector Of ABC NEWS

 

Disclaimer

The information contained in this communication from the sender is a total jackwagon load from Hollyweird, The Spew, Assley Dudd, the CBO, HBO, OMG and WTF and are intended solely for the use of the Fourth Estate during any news cycle. If you are not the intended recipient of this email and its contents, you must submit to our sublemonal massages and believe that Hellary is good, Trump is bad and it is an honor to get painful rectal itch from Maxine Waters and Chucky Schumer. If pictures are inadvertently attached here that show Bill Clinton auditioning female intern genital humidors at a resort in the Bahamas, you must believe that it is Trump instead take action based upon them, as well as badly copy and show them to everyone. Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error and the sender will straighten you out on that point.  This email has been aggressively strewn with viruses and malware by ABC NEWS (and their equally sunken-in-standards peers) providing a more dumbed down and more indoctrinatable place for your human generated global warming hoaxes.  

 

No reply from the scammer(s) so far; and no Dateline, 20/20 or other incestigative report shows are beating down my character's door, demanding an interview, explanation and apology.

 

Since my character is currently on vacation in Liechtenstein -- staying at the bucolic VhatDasPhock Inn -- good luck with that...