Friday, May 29, 2015

A Scammer Ain't A Scammer If He Say So

That's what this scammer insisted upon when he was exposed.  Along with an avalanche of insults.

I love when I piss them off like this.

It all started as a comment on one of my previous posts...a scammer using a blog that exposes and belittles scams to promote yet another scam.  Take a gander:

Hello friend,
I want to share my testimony on how i got my BLANK ATM card which have change my life today. i was once living on the street where by things were so hard for me, even to pay off my bills was very difficult for me i have to pack out of my apartment and had to stay with a friend, i tried all i could do to secure a job but all went in vain because i was from the black side of America. so i decided to browse through my phone for jobs online where i got an advert on Hackers advertising a Blank ATM card which can be used to hack any ATM Machine all over the world, i never thought this could be real because most advert on the internet are based on fraud, so i decided to give this a try and look where it will lead me to if it can change my life for good. i contacted this hackers and they told me they are from Australia and also they have branch all over the world in which they use in developing there ATM CARDS, this is real and not a scam it have help me out. to cut the story short this men who were geeks and also experts at ATM repairs, programming and execution who taught me various tips and tricks about breaking into an ATM Machine with a Blank ATM card.i applied for the Blank ATM card and it was delivered to me within 3 days and i did as i was told to and today my life have change from a street walker to my house, there is no ATM MACHINES this BLANK ATM CARD CANNOT penetrate into it because it have been programmed with various tools and software before it will be send to you. my life have really change and i want to share this to the world, i know this is illegal but also a smart way of living Big because the government cannot help us so we have to help our self. if you also want this BLANK ATM CARD i want you to contact the Hackers email on {} and you life will never remain the same email

Granted, I know there are ways to hack into ATMs out there, but I was unaware of a card that could do what this person claims.  A little bit of internet research confirmed what I already suspected:  the offer itself is a scam to get less than honest people to send money to, they think, obtain an ATM card that will get cash without an account in any ATM.

Scammers playing on greed that's certainly out there.

So I had my character write to them and ask how this works.  Here is the response:

I received your mail and the content was well noted. In regards to
your mail, you shall recieve your atm card once you are in agreement
with the terms procedures. Before we proceed further, you are to
prodive the following details...

Your Full Name.............
What type of card do you have?.....

Once the above details is received, you shall be sent the information
on how it works.
Awaits Response  

So I gave them my character's most oft-used information, and here's the reply:

Your mail was received and the content was well noted. I want to
happily inform you that we have set up the card with your information.
This specific card we are about to send to you can only withdraw the
sum of $2,000.00 United State Dollars Per day. You are to get back to
us once you are in agreement with the below terms.

1} We have develop the special blank ATM Card which you can use in any
ATM Machine around the world. this card is been programmed and can
withdraw 2000 USD within 24 hours in any currency your country make
use of. this is real and it have help out so many people around the

2} NOTE: THE COST OF VISA CARD IS 1,500 USD depending on card you
request for because each of the card have the month they will get
expire. The card will make the security camera malfunction at that
particular time until you are done with the transaction you can never
be trace..

3} This card also has a technique that makes it impossible for the
CCTVs to detect you, there are so many other hacker out there whom
claim to be real you have to be very careful they can never create
this card all they want is your money. no ATM card can be able to
withdraw $50.000 usd each day that is impossible, getting the card you
will forward the courier services your address details so we can
proceed to send the card to you once you agree to the terms and

4} Note that you are to pay the sum of $1,500 usd for the setting up
of the card and you are to pay this money once you have received your
card and confirmed it works. We do not want anyone to get into the
hands of scams. You are going to have your full home address sent to
the courier services to enable them shipped the card to you to your
address through the company courier service where by you will be given
a  tracking number number to track your parcel.  

Then I hear from his alleged ATM card shipper, "Aero Freight":

Airfreight Courier Services.
Dear Mr.             
           CONGRATULATIONS. A parcel containing what cannot be disclosed until it get to you was brought to our office by a man called Mr.Cosmos Philip from ATM office Department India
These documents have been securely sealed and packaged due to security reasons, which makes it impossible for anyone to view it until it is delivered to the bearer. 
You are advise to fill the delivery form below for the delivery of your parcel to you.
Full Name:
Contact Number:
Contact House Address:
Postal Code:
Next-Of Kin:
Warm regards,
Mr. Smith Greg
Dispatch Officer.  

Now we play the waiting game as I delay sending the required $1500.  Then I finally get around to claiming I sent the $1500, which either Mr. ATM card nor Aero Freight can retrieve the money from.
In the meantime, as a small sliver of light is, I think, finally coming to them that they haven't sold their scam very well, I send them an edited version of their scam:
 Hello friend,
I want to share my testimony on how i got fiscally pillaged and raped by my BLANK ATM card which have change my life today. i was once living on the backs of taxpayers where by things were so hard for me, I had to wait a whole month to get all of my welfare handouts and money to pay for my Cadillac, drugs and porn movies.  This very difficult for me.  I tried all i could do to avoid securing a job because democraps all say I need to be free to be a lazy dependent democrap voter, but all went in vain because i was from the wrong side of America (white male). so i decided to browse through my phone for scams that offer me chance to further sponge off taxpayers like a good democrap dependent voter that loots on command, when i got an advert on Hackers advertising a Blank ATM card which can be used to hack any ATM Machine all over the world, and it was endorsed by George Soros, Al Sharpton, Debbil Washingmachine Snitz, Hildebeest 'Deleter' so highly recommended by those lower than snakespit, i never thought this could be real because some advert on the internet are based on having a real job and actually working for a living and taking responsibility for oneself...ewww.  so i decided to give this a try and look where it will lead me to if it can change my life for good. i contacted this hackers and they told me they are from the basement of the Democrap National Committee and also they have branch all over the world in places like Ferguson and Burntimore, where they use in developing there ATM CARDS, this is a real suckass practice but DNC say it okay because I am victim if I think I am.  to cut the story short this men who were progressive Marxist liars and criminals and also msnbc tax cheats taught me various tips and tricks about breaking into an ATM Machine with a Blank ATM card.i applied for the Blank ATM card and it was delivered to me within 3 days and i did as i was told to and today my life have change from a street walker to a professional looter working directly for Al Sharpton.  there is no ATM MACHINES this BLANK ATM CARD CANNOT penetrate into it because it have been programmed with various tools and software like the democraps use on voting machines to commit vote fraud.  my life have really change and I now has over 50 free Obola cell phones and I am a bigger societal leech than ever before, all thanks to democraps!  and i want to share this to the world, i know this is illegal but I am entitled because I is a victim and a good democrap dependent voter!  because the government can help us only when it steal from workers to give to us lazy thugs who help ourself to other people's stuff!  if you also want this BLANK ATM CARD i want you to contact the Hackers email on {} and you life will sink lower than snakespit as long as democraps are wrecking everything they foul with their touch!  Email  to become a completely useless piece of democrap garbage!

PS:  if you working conservative, WORK HARDER YOU BASTARD...I want more freebies!  
I sent this to both Mr. ATM and Aero Freight, and neither of them caught on to it.  But they did continue to harp about the Western Union wire of $1500 I was supposed to have sent and the fact that they couldn't retrieve it.  Finally, with perhaps a sliver of light finally coming to Mr. ATM, I get this from him:
 If truely you have wired the money like you have said, then why cant you sent the valid mtcn numbers so that you can have your atm card shipped to your country California.  
Now we start trading barbs:
You is sooooooooooooooooo stooooooooooooooooopid!!!!!!!!   I've been contacted by ultra morons!!!!!  
Mr. ATM and his chum, "Aero", get rather butt hurt by that:
What do you mean? How dare you insult me? Listen there is no research
about the card that you did and you never sent any money. You wanted
to receive the card without paying the required fee. Go and send the
money so that you can have the card sent to you without any further
delay... is easy for me to dare to insult you.  I researched your card and it is a 100% fraud.  And so are you, you antecedently dubious sot.  
Where did you do the research i can really see you are not serious.  
So I send him a copy of an article that explains in full his scam and how it works, along with two or three examples (one of which is pretty much the template he used) of the original scam email.  That sends both (or the same) scammer(s) over the edge:
since that is what you believe then stop emailing me. You are not
ready and i know i am legitimate, F**K YOU ASS BITCH. You are the
scammer trying to rip where he did not sow, why would you ask the
courier to send your atm card that you don't believe claiming that you
have sent the money. Who is the dump ass, and who is  fooling itself?
And his chum "Aero Freight"?  Here's his two cents after I wrote to him and told him that Cosmos had died of painful rectal itch and a new source was needed for him to run his scam business:
Cosmos Dead? You are really Jobless. Cosmos left my office few hours ago giving me atm card which i had to deliver, so you dont even need to bother your self, because i already made it clear o Cosmos that You are scam who wants free money. You are retired and yet you claim you go to works idiot  
My reply to both, first to Mr. ATM:
LMAO at you.  You ARE a scammer, you ARE exposed as a SCAMMER, you ARE a lowlife piece of sh** that sleazes the internet, and YOU WILL BE ON A BLOG THAT EXPOSES AND REVEALS SCAMMERS.  And there is not one single solidary thing that you can do about it, because you are a scammer and truth outs you!   
Then to Aero:
Aero Freight, or whatever your fatherless name is, you people aren't terribly bright, and it's proven by what I wrote to you and how you missed clue after clue that I knew that you were part of an online scam and I was playing you.  After having played abject morons like you for going on 16 years, it's pretty obvious that once more, I am dealing with the bottom of the education barrel when I am dealing with you.  And as I just told your 'partner' -- the ATM card scammer -- the key points of our series of emails will be posted to a blog that exposes and reveals online scams like yours.  I enjoy doing this, particularly when the scammers are as sand poundingly stupid and inept as you are.  Enjoy being exposed!  And thanks for getting mad...that makes my day.  
I hear nothing more from the Aero Freight clown, but Mr. ATM throws one last arrow he must hope hits the mark:
you post lie about me and I sue you!  Don't be fooled that I will not sue you!  
BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Hire you a lawyer, Douchenozzle!  Go ahead...make my day  ;-)   
I want to see how an online overseas moron of a scammer has papers served on a corpse in a Los Angeles cemetery... 



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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Seymour vs Kim Jong Un...Again

My pet rock, Seymour, just can't get enough of making fun of Kim Jong Un.

Granted, it's pretty easily done.

Like with a recent article about how impressed Un was with an underwater ballistic missile test...Seymour saw an edit screaming to be done, and done it:

North Korean Underwater Missile Test Drowns Kim Jong Un And Kills Lots of Fish

Pyongyang, North Korea (SPRN)  North Korea has carried out another unsuccessful underwater test of a ballistic missile, the North Korean state news agency reported.

Leader Kim Jong Un undersaw the test himself, KCNA reported on Saturday, and drowned (Friday evening, ET).

A submarine launched the missile at a location far from the North Korean mainland, according to the news agency.

The missile exploded underwater, killing the launching submarine and “a sh**road of fish” the KCNA report said.

Such rhetoric, while alarming on its face, is not unlike Kim's pronouncements after missile tests in the past, and since he drowned watching the test, we won't have to listen to any more of his drivel.

While declining to talk about any specific "intelligence matters," something that U.S. State Department spokesdoof Marie Barf isn't up to if it involves any kind of intelligence, she did mutter something about wanting to blame one of the Republican presidential candidate contenders for Un having drown during the missile test.

"We call on North Korea to refrain from attempting to nuance themselves because they are not good at it like I am," Barf said.

Analyst: Hard to explain how drowning Un will prevent a large fish kill off the Korean Peninsula

North Korea has already allocated a significant portion of its budget to forcing Trey Parker and Matt Stone to making a sequel to Team America World Police, and now that Un has drowned, North Korea went fiscally phffffffffffffft for pretty much nothing.

Daniel Pinkeye, deputy project director for Oh Whoops, Un Dun It Agin think tank, told CNN that, if authentic, the latest missile fiasco "would be a viral hit on YouTube" since North Korea gets pissy whenever someone makes jest of them.

"If they could have deployed an operational submarine with missiles that actually worked, Un would probably have sabotaged the project anyway by feeding our leading scientists to hungry dogs when Un was throwing one of his many hissy fits. But now that he drowned, perhaps his successor will get a better hair cut" he said.

"Everyone knew that when Un demanded to watch the test underwater, it was going to have a bad and ludicrous end to it. I think the actual clusterf**k that this turned into was more of a joke than people had expected."

Anti-anti missiles blowd up Wonsan

Also Saturday, a South Korean defense ministry official said North Korea had fired three what were supposed to have been ship-to-ship missiles from the sea near North Korea's eastern city of Wonsan. The missiles apparently ran like a boomerang and obliterated what passed for Wonsan.

No other details were available as of yet, the official said. The missiles were fired in an hour-long window Saturday afternoon local time, blowing up the window and the rest of Wonsan when they sought to attack their launch origin.

The designer of the anti-ship missiles was worried that he'd be fed to dogs by Un, but since Un drowned watching his underwater test ballistic missile blow up fish, the sub and hisself, how he just has to await his fate in the hands of the new North Korean leader. Rumors have it that the new leader designate is none other than Dennis Rodman. Jimmy Carter placed a very distant second in the balloting.

News of this has China setting a new worlds record for the number of simultaneous face palms in Beijing. 


South Korea responded by threatening to out face palm Beijing.  

Seymour still expects a Pulitzer for this.  After all, he argues, Obola for doing nothing whatsoever won a Noballs.

Hard to argue logic like that...

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Friday, May 22, 2015

What Memorial Day Really Means

The photos will speak to what it really means far more eloquently than I ever can:




That's what Memorial Day means.  Remember them.


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Pet Rock Edits Iranian Bluster

My pet rock, Seymour, loves it when North Korea's pudgy nothing issues threats.  He is equally amused by the empty-yapping bluster that occasionally oozes out of Iran like a popped pimple.

As a piece of world geology, Seymour's been around.  Figuratively and literally.

A recent online news report said that members of the Iranian Military want a war with the US, because they feel a war with us is "not a big deal".

With the inept moron we have as apologist-in-chief with his non-working 'reset' buttons, I can almost see how the Iranians would become egomaniacally stupid.  Hard to respect a power run by such an abject moron. all-out shooting war between the USA and Iran?  When we unleashed the US Military on Saddam, all it took was 100 hours to throw his sorry ass and elite Republican Guards out of Kuwait.

Iran and Iraq were in a seven year shooting war before that, that ended inconclusively. pet rock has undertaken an edit of a recent interview by two of Iran's military mental midgets, on accounta cuz he can:

Iran Wants War With US Because Obola Is “Such A Sissy Pants”

By Seymour PetRock GNS

Brigadier General Hossein Salami, the deputy commander of the elite Iran Revolutionary Goats Guard Corps, said in an interview on state-run television that a battle with the US would be national suicide, “except that they have Obola The Sissy, so we might has a chance”.
“Under normal conditions, we would never welcome war with the US as we do believe that they would kick the sh** out of us without breaking a sweat,” he said, according to a report by the semi-official Farts news agency. “But since their leader Barack Hussein Obola practically wets himself to please us, we think we are prepared because under Obola the US has become a sissy and is no big deal.”
Salami threatened that Iran would make like it was going to walk out of current negotiations with the US and other countries, just to watch them squirm and make more concessions because they are all “becoming sissies like Obola”.
“We warn the USA that we are capable of attacking their East Coast if we are of a mind to” he warned.

The commander of the elite Iran Revolutionary Goats Guard Corps, Major General Mohammad Ali Jafari, gave similarly belligerent warning during a ceremony in the city of Semnan, in the north of the country. Jafari reasoned that if “msnbc wets themselves to please us, the rest of the USA under the spineless Obola probably does too”, he boasted. 

“The military option that we have is, frankly, not worth a camel dork” Jafri admitted. “We couldn't beat the Iraqis in a 7 year war. But with the spineless Obola soiling his knickers to please us at the negotiating table – him and his horsefaced suckretary of state, Kerry – all we have to do is rattle our saber and we get more concessions than illegal aliens at a DNC voter registration drive in Mexico City”. 
“Today, Islamic Iran totally sucks goat ass, but thanks to America electing a spineless Islamic sleeper as president, the world’s biggest materialistic and military powers kneel down before the Islamic Republic,” he proclaimed. “It make us laugh”.  

Seymour still thinks this will get him a Pulitzer...he's actually less deluded than the Iranians.


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Sunday, May 17, 2015

A Pet Rock vs Kim Jong Un Again

Kim Jong Un strikes again.

Thus, Seymour PetRock edits again.

It appears that Un is forever seeking new means to execute those who incur his pudgy wrath.

Which lately apparently includes his Minister of Defense.

Which Seymour found amusing enough to edit:

North Korea executes defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun

By I Forget Duk and Seymour PetRock

Duksan (Ruh-Roh) - North Korea executed its defense chief by putting him in front of an anti-aircraft gun at a firing range, Seoul's National Intelligence Service told lawmakers, the latest in a series of high-level meltdowns since Kim Jong Un didn't get his Team America World Police sequel movie.
Hyon Yong Chol, 66, who headed the whackadoodle country's military, was charged with looking like an enemy airplane and disobeying Kim by falling asleep during an event at which North Korea's young leader was singing “I So Ronery”, according to South Korean lawmakers briefed in a closed-door meeting with the spy agency on Wednesday.

His execution was tracked by hundreds of people on NKYouBoob, they said.

It was not clear what kind of plane Chol looked like and it is not possible to independently verify such reports from within secretive North Korea.

Experts on North Korea said there was the same level of mental of instability in Pyongyang as usual, and it's not likely to change, Team America movie sequel or not.

Kim loves ordering the execution of folks when he's on the rag, as he pretty much has been since Kim took over after his father's death in 2011.

"North Korean internal politics have always been whackadoodle dandy," said Micky Mouse, an expert on the country's leadership and contributor to the 38 North Korean stink tanks that had to be scrapped when they failed to resemble the smell of kimshi.

He added: "There is no clear or present danger to Kim Jong Un's continued campaign to find a manner of execution that he'll find and stick to, so expect new and different methods to be utilized and announced into next year".

Kold Wun-Dyuk, a North Korea leadership execution expert at Dagnabbit University in Seoul, said the regime could "get itself in the Guiness Book of World Records" if Kim's purges continued.
The lawmakers said Hyon was executed at a firing range at the Kanggon Military Training Area, 22 km (14 miles) north of Pyongyang. The U.S.-based Committee for Anti-Aircraft Gun Executions Research in North Korea said last month that, according to satellite images, the range was likely used for an execution by ZPU-4 anti-aircraft guns, with the target just 30 meters (100 feet) away from the weapons, which have a range of 8,000 meters, it said. “There is little doubt that a second volley was needed” added the statement.


Hyon, last known to have spoken publicly at a training seminar for the highly reclusive North Korean Muppet Ninja in Moscow in April, was said to have shown disrespect to Kim by dozing off during Un's soulful rendition of “I So Ronery” at a military event.

Hyon was also believed to have voiced complaints against Un putting up an 8' by 10' poster of Hillary Clinton in a thong in the military HQ in Pyongyang, according to the lawmakers. He was arrested late last month and executed three days later without a parachute.

North Korea is one of the most screwball countries in the world and its ruling power structure is highly like what Obola would love to emulate in the US if he can figure out how.

The current leader is the third generation of a famdamily that has ruled with near-absolute power since the country was Soviet-established in 1948, and gotten progressively crazier with each generation.

In 2013, Kim purged and executed his uncle, Jang Song Thaek, by feeding him and his closest associates to hungry dogs. Then he executes his defense minister with an anti-aircraft gun. “What comes next is likely to be forcing the intended executee(s) to have to listen to endless Obola speeches while being eaten alive by army ants, or forcing the executee(s) to have to look at Hillary Clinton in a thong while being genitally hickey-bitten by a Sally Kohn lookalike.

Andrei Anonymous, a North Korea spy at Kookmunch University in Pyongyang, said that the purges in Pyongyang do not necessarily point to an endorsement of Hillary Clinton in 2016. "The common assumption is that it's bad to show an oversized picture of Clinton in a thong just to piss off her super volunteers," he said, likening the situation to msnbc becoming a conservative news network and actually competing with Fox News for once in it's blighted life. "The irritable fat young cherub is not necessarily popular with the military, so he wants to show that he's “firring his body with rage”, just like in the song his father's marrionette got to sing in that Team America move".

Pyongyang's military leadership has been in a state of perpetual “WTF?” since Kim Jong Un took power.

Kim, who is in his early thirties, has changed his armed forces chief through various means of execution four times since coming to power. His father Kim Jong Il, who ruled the isolated nuclear-capable country for almost two decades, replaced his chief just three times but got the starring bad guy role in the popular Parker/Stone movie.

Hyon, a little-known general, is better known now, thanks to an anti-aircraft gun.

The South Korean spy agency told lawmakers that Ma Won Chun, known as North Korea's chief architect of a script that he had been trying to get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to use in a new Team America World Police sequel, was also purged and executed by being lethally sat on by msnbc's Ed Schultz, the lawmakers said.

Ma had also once served as vice director of the secretive Finance and Accounting Department in the ruling Workers' Party and, until recently flattened, was effectively the regime's money counterfeiter.

“Kim Jong Un will keep executing through innovative and unusual means, until he gets Parker and Stone to make that Team America movie sequel with Un in the starring role”, Anonymous reported.
(Editing by Seymour PetRock and Ragu Spagettisauce)  

I don't think Seymour is going to rate a Dennis Rodman welcome from North Korea any time soon...

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