Gender Wars

Scammers...it takes all kinds.

Mostly brainless ones.

There IS a genuine US Army Lt. General named Laura Richardson.  This is her.

That ain't who my character heard from though:


Hello Dear,

How are you doing? my name is General Laura  Richard, i am an Army  officer from the United States of America, I am supportive and caring  but l need an honest trust reliable person as a friend. I have a  personal project that what sum of 4.5 million dollars i will need your  assister to receive it in your country for investment for me please if  interesting contact me for more details  (e5647328d@gmail.com).

Thanks

General Laura  Richard  

Ain't that nice?

Not if you're Lt. General Richardson.

Fortunately, my "editing gone wild" pet rock, Seymour, he knows a thing or two about generals.  He's been used in countless wars as ballast, weaponry or defensive position building material....at least if you believe his stories.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

Cheap sound affects aside, Seymour thought that it would be a good time to mix in the gender confusion that's run amok on the left side of the aisle (aka, the Dems) within the edit he chose to send back in reply:



From: Genital Neutral Laura Dicked Richard <danieldailey691@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, November 15, 2019 1:57 PM
Subject: Oh Hell No...It's The Genital!

 

Ah...tennnnnnnnn HUT!

Why did he just hike that private?

Good hep is so hard to get these days.

At ease you slow-witted bastards.  My name is Genital Laura Dicked Richard,

i am an Army officer from the war torn nation of Fallopia, where all tubes of

any kind can be used for mortars...or less tars, if that's your packet.

Here in Fallopia, we has a standing army.  I've chewed asses so often that

no one gots nothing to sit on or sh*t with.  That's how we roll in Fallopia.

Being landlocked, we ain't got no Navy, though we do have a couple toy

boats in the pond out back, in case an earthquake suddenly carves us a

path to the sea.

As for our Air Force, that happens whenever we fart.  Try and beat that

forced air, plebes.  Even the EPA won't try our forced air on.  Weeee

doogies!

Here abouts troops will tell you that I am supportive and caring because

if they don't I'll have them hanging by their ovaries or nuts, take your

choice.  That said, l need a gullible nincompoop as a fall person for a

project that I've been working on.  If I manage it, I will be the military

dictator of Uranus, and you will be my debutante.  You would have

been my deputy but someone shot the deputy when I shot the

sharif of Dune in a tiff over proceeds from a camel urine beverage

project that I mistakenly helped fund with tax dollars stolen from

the stash that Obola gave Iran.  What's left of that amounted to,

before taxes, 4.5 million dollars.  After taxes...uh...well, there's a

little left, and what of it there is i will need your assister to receive it

in your country so I can pay my sex change surgical bill. 

And don't call me Shirley.  At least not yet.  This is the 7th time I've

tried this, and since I understand that there are 57 recognized gender

choices now, that leaves me 50 more to try.

No sure how many times willy wink-wink can be detached and re-

attached without substantial bondo being needed.  Instead of Mr.

Potato Head, I think they need a gender neutral non-binary

interchangeable Genital Mix And Match Toy by Mattel.  Outside of

the DNC, I don't know where that'd be a hit...which is probably why

it doesn't exist.

Anyway, if you're interested -- and I'm asking for a friend -- you

are ordered to contact me at e5647328d@gmail.com.

Operators are standing by...I've chewed their asses off too.

Disssssssssssss-MISSED!

Genital Laura Dicked Richard

Genital, Army of the Fallopians

Country of Fallopia

"What's in a tube?  All depends on what you plan to shoot out of it!"  

 

 

The originating genital didn't apparently see any good after reading this.  Though we did get a report that a lot of Depends got soiled on the campus at Berkeley when it was accidentally posted without a trigger warning...

 

 

 

Engendered

Occasionally my scam-baiting character gets invites to "international" conferences.

Apparently the scammers have adopted the DNC-approved non-gender identity thing for whom they invite to what:


On behalf of the International Women’s Healthcare Foundation (IWHF), I
am pleased to invite you to attend the upcoming International global
conference on Child care & Youth empowerment, HIV/AIDS Nutrition and
Dietetics, holding from 9th to 14th December 2019 in Dallas, Texas,
United States.

The organizing committee sponsors are responsible for participant’s
visa processing for those who requires visa to United States. Free
round-trip air tickets will be provided by the organization. We shall
send you more information for registration processing immediately we
receive your response of interest.

If interested Please contact the conference secretariat for more
information and registration for participation at: [
iwhf_info@secretary.net ]. We look forward to your swift response.


Warm Regards,
Sharon R. Pontius, M.D., M.H.SC.
Staff Member & Program Coordinator.  


The scam, of course, is advanced fees that have to be paid to attend this non-existent conference.  Sounds pretty much like something only democraps would cook up.

And that made the edit exceptionally easy:


Subject: Conference For Gender Crisis Initiation Invitation

 

Dear Sir/Madam/55 Other Choices, mostly mental health issues,

On behalf of the International Gender Identity Crisis Initiation Foundation (WTFamI), I am pleased to invite you to attend the

upcoming International/interstellar conference on How To Cornfuse

Anyone With What The Flying Fish Fiddlesticks Their Gender Is, holding from 9th to 14th

December 2019 in San Crapcisco, Kaliforlornia, United States.

 The organizing committee sponsors are responsible for participant’s
illegal border crossing for those who want to be escorted illegally into

the US by a democrap running for president who has no clue about

the rule of law and could care less.  They'll care even less if you are

male, female, octosexual orthopod or just a freak of self-made nature.

Free everything -- round-trip air tickets, lodging, food, medical care,

pleasure enemas, whatever the frankfurter appeals to you -- will be provided

by the DNC. We shall send you more information for registration

processing immediately we receive your response of interest.

Attendees will learn how they were wrongly informed of their gender

from birth, and will be indoctrinated in how to choose what they

want to be from 57 choices (two regular, two alternative, fifty-three mental defectual

options), as well as how to sue their parents, antecedents,

Fox News, George Washington and God for having misled them

about what they've been all this time.

 If interested -- if you're a snowflake who finds offense at whatever

the DNC or cnn/ms13nbc tell you to be offended by, then you

can't help but be interested in this, because it contains Bernie's

favorite misleading word, FREE -- please contact the conference

suckretariat for more information and registration for participation at:
iwhf_info@secretary.net 

We look forward to your sandpoundingly ignorant response.

Regards,
Sharon R. Fallatio, pHd, BFR, OMG, FUBAR, STD
Staph Member & Pogrom Coordinator.

International Gender Identity Crisis Initiation

Foundation (WTFamI)

A DNC/Jeffrey Epstein Affiliate   

 

 

My character was not surprised to hear nothing further from the originating scammer.

 

He might yet hear from one of the fifty-three mental health issues...

Gender Switching Is Ever'whar

And you thought it was just the current POTUS that had her triggered?

Nawp...on an opening email scam, I dared to assume GENDER.

And it goes magnificently down hill from there.  Take a gander:

Dear Friend.

 

I wanted us to discuss on how we can save lives of the poor people in our community.

 

My name is Mrs Thoms Christelle I am a, nationality FRANCE.I'm married to Mr.Thomas Behaung who Worked with the national Oil,before he died of poisoning in 2013 .

 

Second year after the death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for ,the doctors told me I will not live longer than some months because of my health, I decided to WILL / donate the sum of $9,500,000 (Nine million, five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of humanity, and also to help the Victims of flood,motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows. I dont have a child of my own who will inherit my wealth when i am gone. i have no good people around me, everyone has stolen from me and want me dead so that they can steal all.

 

I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly,and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I do not want anything that will jeopardize my last wish .

 

Pls :. kindly get back to me so that we can discuss more.

Thank You and God Bless You

 

MRS Thomas  

 

 

Sounds so benevolent, don't it?  Bet I can change that in one response:

 

 

You save poor people in your French neighborhood by kicking out all the islamofascists that are invading it.  

 

 

And THAT drew what became the equivalent of "hold my camel piss beer and watch this":

 

 

Junky  

 

 

(Incidentally, all responses now coming from Thomas...the "Mrs" apparently has a headache)

 

 

Well, if you don't want it junky over there, that's how you fix it, Bunky.  

 

 

Crack head  

 

 

I'm sorry, Crackhead, I called you Bunky.  I'll make it Crackhead from henceforth.

So, Crackhead...how's living in Islamofascistville amongst all the riffraff?  Right at home, are you, Crackhead?  

 

 

(Now he/she/it decides to up the ante...*scary organ music*)

 

 

I will send terrorist to your house to kill every living thing there.  

 

 

Oh, by all means, do that Crackhead.  I will have coffee and claymores awaiting them.  

 

 

Ok 3 days time  you will see the ninjas right in ur living room  

 

 

3 days?  That's too long.  I will be on vacation.  You must expedite their arrival, Crackhead.  They need to be here tonight.  Otherwise, you FAIL...*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*...FAIL.

Don't fail me, Crackhead.  

 

 

And what are nincompoop African email scammers doing with ninjas?  Them's Japanese.  Mebbe you got some Zulus or something?  How about a witchdoctor, Crackhead.  Think you could get your witchdoctor here by tonight?  Work on that and get back to me, Crackhead.  I have things to attend to.  

 

 

You also seem to have some gender identity issues, Crackhead.  First you're a woman, then you're a man.  What are you now, an octosexual orthopod?  You seem in way over your head, Crackhead.  But fine...your ninja witchdoctor Zulus must be here tonight.  Tonight, Crackhead.  Tonight.

Finally, Crackhead speaks:

 

 

Just wait. you will testify in hell that i am the Lucifer in the making  

 

 

And he included this photo for his version of emphasis:

 

 

 So convincing...

 

 

Hell is not on my travel itinerary, Crackhead.  And I've received no subpoena to testify.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

I can tell that you're new at this, Crackhead.  Don't quit your day job if you have one.

Now, be a good islamofascist nincompoop and get your ninja witchdoctor Zulu to

my place TONIGHT.  The whole internet world will know of your failure if you don't.  

 

 

WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  

 

 

Oh...someone just goose you with a satchel charge, Crackhead?  Bet that leaves a mark.  

 

 

YOU AND YOUR HOUSEHOLD ARE GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

 

Looks like you've got some keyboard issues there, Crackhead.  Sitting around that fly infested internet cafe, picking your butt isn't helping the life expectancy of that keyboard. You've got a job to do, Ma'am.  Or Mister.  Or octosexual orthopod, whatever you is. The clock is ticking, Crackhead.  Tonight, Crackhead. Tonniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighttttttt.  

 

 

What came as no surprise, tonight came and no ninja witchdoctor Zulus showed up.  Hmmphf.


Wassamatta, Crackhead?  Your islamofascist ninja witchdoctor Zulus lose their GPS? 


Apparently, Crackheaded Thomas Cristelle Lucifer IS sulking.  He won't play no mores.