Gender Wars

Scammers...it takes all kinds.

Mostly brainless ones.

There IS a genuine US Army Lt. General named Laura Richardson.  This is her.

That ain't who my character heard from though:


Hello Dear,

How are you doing? my name is General Laura  Richard, i am an Army  officer from the United States of America, I am supportive and caring  but l need an honest trust reliable person as a friend. I have a  personal project that what sum of 4.5 million dollars i will need your  assister to receive it in your country for investment for me please if  interesting contact me for more details  (e5647328d@gmail.com).

Thanks

General Laura  Richard  

Ain't that nice?

Not if you're Lt. General Richardson.

Fortunately, my "editing gone wild" pet rock, Seymour, he knows a thing or two about generals.  He's been used in countless wars as ballast, weaponry or defensive position building material....at least if you believe his stories.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

Cheap sound affects aside, Seymour thought that it would be a good time to mix in the gender confusion that's run amok on the left side of the aisle (aka, the Dems) within the edit he chose to send back in reply:



From: Genital Neutral Laura Dicked Richard <danieldailey691@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, November 15, 2019 1:57 PM
Subject: Oh Hell No...It's The Genital!

 

Ah...tennnnnnnnn HUT!

Why did he just hike that private?

Good hep is so hard to get these days.

At ease you slow-witted bastards.  My name is Genital Laura Dicked Richard,

i am an Army officer from the war torn nation of Fallopia, where all tubes of

any kind can be used for mortars...or less tars, if that's your packet.

Here in Fallopia, we has a standing army.  I've chewed asses so often that

no one gots nothing to sit on or sh*t with.  That's how we roll in Fallopia.

Being landlocked, we ain't got no Navy, though we do have a couple toy

boats in the pond out back, in case an earthquake suddenly carves us a

path to the sea.

As for our Air Force, that happens whenever we fart.  Try and beat that

forced air, plebes.  Even the EPA won't try our forced air on.  Weeee

doogies!

Here abouts troops will tell you that I am supportive and caring because

if they don't I'll have them hanging by their ovaries or nuts, take your

choice.  That said, l need a gullible nincompoop as a fall person for a

project that I've been working on.  If I manage it, I will be the military

dictator of Uranus, and you will be my debutante.  You would have

been my deputy but someone shot the deputy when I shot the

sharif of Dune in a tiff over proceeds from a camel urine beverage

project that I mistakenly helped fund with tax dollars stolen from

the stash that Obola gave Iran.  What's left of that amounted to,

before taxes, 4.5 million dollars.  After taxes...uh...well, there's a

little left, and what of it there is i will need your assister to receive it

in your country so I can pay my sex change surgical bill. 

And don't call me Shirley.  At least not yet.  This is the 7th time I've

tried this, and since I understand that there are 57 recognized gender

choices now, that leaves me 50 more to try.

No sure how many times willy wink-wink can be detached and re-

attached without substantial bondo being needed.  Instead of Mr.

Potato Head, I think they need a gender neutral non-binary

interchangeable Genital Mix And Match Toy by Mattel.  Outside of

the DNC, I don't know where that'd be a hit...which is probably why

it doesn't exist.

Anyway, if you're interested -- and I'm asking for a friend -- you

are ordered to contact me at e5647328d@gmail.com.

Operators are standing by...I've chewed their asses off too.

Disssssssssssss-MISSED!

Genital Laura Dicked Richard

Genital, Army of the Fallopians

Country of Fallopia

"What's in a tube?  All depends on what you plan to shoot out of it!"  

 

 

The originating genital didn't apparently see any good after reading this.  Though we did get a report that a lot of Depends got soiled on the campus at Berkeley when it was accidentally posted without a trigger warning...