Saturday, June 7, 2014

Illumi-not-again

In this case, all fraud and lots of mugus on the Nigerian side ;-)

Yes, my previous blog post on the illumi-knotheads has drawn a lot of visits, particularly from Nigeria.

Small wonder, since they've sent me yet another email (and posted it on my blog as well).

This one is perhaps a butt polyp more revealing than their first effort to give me the business.  Witness if you please:


Subject: Join Illuminati And Become Member And get Rich And Famous"

Easy way to join the Illuminati brotherhood in the world.  Kindly contact the Illuminati online registrations officer in USA through their email now:
join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

and you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the Satan and his representative
after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty away from your life now. So contact the online registrar at: join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

brotherhood of Illuminati...
NOTE BELOW...
YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE SUM OF 2MILLION DOLLARS AND A HOUSE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD...

Phone: +2348162448410
Join Us In Illuminati And Get Rich And Famous 


Every bit as non-convincing as their last effort, and with a third less syllables than their regular schpiel.

Which helped it not at all.

But I've apparently gotten under their skins.  So let's up the itch:

Subject: Join Illumi-anal-passage And Become Member And get Boned And Sodomized

Easy way to join the collection of meth-addicted Third World internet café junkies in a Third World sewer pit:  join their Illumi-nothing 'hood in the world.  No fuller outhouse pit will you find, of this we can assure you, hmmm?

Kindly contact the idiot at the Illuminuthouse desk that handles all online registrations when he's not busy fingering his bunghole.

join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com

And when you join you shall be given a gold plated baboon loogie, a 'Douche Nozzle of the Year' plaque, and you shall be eligible to receive more
abysmally stupid emails from a Satan-wannabe, his jackwagoned representative, and you will belong to a collection of simpering mugu boneheads who think masturbating is messing with their boss.

Please note that here in the Nigerian chapter of illuminot-now-I-have-nut-ache, sacrifice of someone or thing close to you is needed to prove to us your dedication to being a total asshat like we of the illumi-nippleheads are.

If you want wealth and fame in life, get off your ass, get a job and work for it. Joining us will get you nothing but mugu-dumb.
See what we just did there?
So contact the online registrar at:    join.illuminant.department0014@gmail.com  For the first 100 applicants, we have a free photo of you posing with a boko haram transgender goat raper named Ogun.

Even more special:  for the first 1000 applicants they will be entered into a drawing to win..
THE SUM OF 2 MILLION DOLLARS AND THE OUTHOUSE IT SITS UNDER.  PLEASE NOTE THAT
THE MONEY IS UNDERNEATH A YEAR'S WORTH OF WILDEBEEST FECES, BUT TO HAVE THIS
FAME AND FORTUNE WE ARE SURE YOU WILL BE WILLING TO DIG FOR IT.

Questions?  Phone: +2348162448410  (that we're in Nigeria should pretty much clear up any questions).

Join Us In Illuminumb-nuts And Get What Naïve Morons Usually Do 
 


I'm a bit disappointed that this crop of illumi-nitwits apparently read the edit...guess I'm an illumi-no-way...  ;-)
 

Labels: ,

7 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Maybe they need a translator? Bwahahahahahahaha.

Have a fabulous day. My very best to my buddy Seymour. ☺

07 June, 2014 09:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you do not want to join the latest craze in Nigerian 419 Land -- taking selfies of you butt boinking goats -- then we offer you this instead: Join our Nigeriknothead Tree Stump Sodomy Cult! It super AWESOME! Rules * You don't need be above 18 years of age. * You must have full access to at least one tree stump widda hole in it * You must not discuss what you're doing to the tree stump with anyone but us of the Nigeriknothheads * We only want anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the seriously screwed up way we live here from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY, THERESY, HITHER-'N-YONSY, FROM HERESY TO BEYONCE, AH'LL TELL YOU WHATSY AND WAZZDAT DEY SAYS. * Once you join the NIGERIKNOTHEADS within one week of you are required to take 10 selfies of you butt boinking a tree stump with a picture of Hillary Clinton watching you, which we can assure you will be the greatest goal you'll ever achieve being a member of this totally fucked up cult and subsequently being adopted by a family of dung beetles in Burundi. * No one discard the message of the GREAT NIGERIKNOTHEADS if discarded the person will makes us so danged mad at you both day and night. * Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT NIGERIKNOTHEADS shall see...eh...nothing really. What do you imagine a bunch of us empty headed Third World dolts sitting around in a fly-infested internet café can DO, when we barely have the means to finger our own assholes? * The money ALWAYS flows AWAY from anyone that joins NigeriKnotheads members...And TO us here while we imagine what it'd be like to be able to finger our own assholes *




One of the rules of the NigeriKnotheads is "Every day we attempt to finger our asshole while farting" so I can't say too much about it here, there or in Schnectedy, which I can't even finds on a map of Liechtenstein. If you are truly interested and get back to me via email thailluminati666@gmail.com or call +2348169340571
Do not play mind games with peoples who can only imagine fingering their own assholes while living to sodomize tree stumps. Don't think too long on this or you might suffer genital cramp or something.

08 July, 2014 10:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you interested in belonging to a Nigerian organization that screws small animals in the butt? Contact Mr Cherry now!
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CALL:+2348078366264

11 July, 2014 14:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Join the Nigerian Illumi-knotheads to get screwed, blued and tattooed. Cuz that's all you'll get from a fly infested internet cafe of Third World mugu dunderpates in Lagos. The simpering morons gotz nothing else. For membership application, send an email to itotougu@gmail.com or visit www.itotoilluminati.blogspot.com

17 July, 2014 20:22  
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23 July, 2014 16:17  
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25 July, 2014 18:13  
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25 July, 2014 19:22  

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