Seymour Irritates The Pudginator Again

My pet rock, Seymour, loves his edits.  Especially when it involves the latest "dear leader" of the peculiar blackhole of humanity, North Korea.


Seeing an article that Kim Jong Un was demanding that no one else have his name, Seymour was moved to weigh in:






North Korea Reader Gets Screwed Up Order At Pyongyang Eatery And Goes On (yet another) Epic Rant

PAHRUMP (Roto-Rooters) – After an epic screw up at a McScrewDaPeoples “look fast, the food is gone” restaurant, North Korea's dubious antecedent leader throwd hisself a monumental hissy, and has ordered people who share his name to change their names, sources trying not to be too close to the pudgy snitster reported on Wednesday.


“Onry I be Kim Jong Un, not one nobody more!” shrieked His Pudgeness during a post “WTF is this” snit he threw at the aforementioned restaurant, finding that his order of McDog Nuggets was actually substitute tofu nuggets at the behest of the North Korean chapter of PETA.


Which was officially banned that day, and all of its members fed to sharks off Wonsan.


His Pudgeness imposed similar bans on movies, cartoons, newspapers and magazines – print and online – according to the same “giving him a wide berth just now” sources. Unfortunately for the Un-ster, his wide ranging bans don't mean much outside of North Korea. 
 
Herr Dr. Kim Jong Unmeister, editor in chief of the Liechtenstein Das Ist Crap Undt Schtuff daily responded by emailing the ranting Pudgester a hearty “Phffffffffffffffffffensee” and declared the month of December “Everyvun In Liechtenstein Ist Kim Jong Un Fer Das Month Undt Schtuff, Ja!” While the DNC in Washington DC is weighing filing lawsuits against anyone making fun of the Pudgester over this – “We be politically correct, first, last, irrelevantly” driveled a spokepoison during an unattended press conference – entrepreneurs across the rest of the world, along with five of seven surveyed planets with life forms of varied degrees, were setting up a landmark t-shirt business, selling shirts proclaiming “I'm a Kim Jong Un, He's a Kim Jong Un, She's a Kim Jong Un, Wouldn't You Like To Be a Kim Jong Un too?”. 
 
“We expect sales to go astronomically blackhole” marveled Kim Jong Un, spokesKim Jong Un for the business. “I mean, just look at the name...it's sounds so Dung Chow Plick, y'know?”. 
 
Official North Korean sources are reporting that His Pudgeness is none too preased, and is prepared to declare war on Liechtenstein, Jupiter, Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Uranus.


Kim Jong Il, the father of the current leader, is dead. Kim Il Sung, the grandfather of the current leader, likewise. Just in case you didn't know.


South Korea's Unification Ministry, which handles ties with the North, could not immediately confirm the report that it's handing out “good for a day Kim Jong Un name changes” to the staff, but said it was plausible.


"The rant is highly possible since Un still hasn't gotten the role in another Team America World Police movie that he's been demanding," a ministry official chuckled.


It is not known how many people there are in North Korea called Kim Jong Un, but sources are sure a rash of Billy Bob and Bobbie Jo Jong Uns is going to be making the rounds.    


Seymour PetRock NewsEdits, UnLtd 




It is rumored that His Pudgeness has also declared war on my pet rock.  At least Seymour needn't worry about being eaten by hungry dogs.


"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

North Korea's Military Is Pissed

Think this cat looks pissed?  And not just 'cuz he's swimming.

According to my editing pet rock, Seymour, wait until you hear the rest of the story.  

North Korea just can't catch a break.  And here, the Left touts how great Marxism is.  You wouldn't know it based on North Korea, the pmsnbc of the Orient.

The pet rock -- a lover of online news -- saw that North Korea is suffering from a drought.  So much so, that the Pirrbury Doughboy Kim Jong Un has mobirized the miritary there.

To do what?

Seymour thought rong and hard on that...and came up with this:

North Korea army mobilized as dry conditions require “unusuar measures”   

By Dick N Widyall June 23, 2014 6:03 AM

  

SEOUL (SENS) - North Korea's rivers, streams and reservoirs are running dry in a prolonged drought, state media said on Monday, while dogs aren't starving as Kim Jong Un sees to thinning out his family tree, along with meteorologists.

So what's Un come up with this time? Well, besides signing on with agw fraud AlGore, Un has a uniquely North Korean solution to the problem of saving their crops from drought: mobilize its million-strong army to refill the rivers of the country.

By peeing in them.

Say WHAT says you? “You better berieve it” responded Un in a scripted interview with state-controlled media in Washington, DC. “It's my pran. I work very rong and hard on this pran, and I know that this pran work because it's my pran” Un said. 
 
And not only Un's military will be engaging in syncronized urination irrigation; office workers, farmers and women have been mobilized to direct urination irrigation into the dry floors of fields.

In the 1990s, Kim Jong Il was too busy trying to get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to do a puppet movie with him as the central figure, to worry much about food shortages that led to a devastating famine which killed an estimated million people, since none of those people were members of his well-fed military.

Rachal Madcow, of the pmsnbc chapter of Marxism R Good, confirmed the media reports and said that bottled beverages of any kind is in huge demand in Pyongyang right now.

"They're even negotiating with Iran to buy camel pee" Madcow told SENS via carrier pterydactyl.
In some areas, she said, urination irrigation is 70% of even the drinking water.

Higher-than average acidity in the urine has exacerbated damage, affecting wheat, barley and maize, which state media started to report on until Un showed up at the studio with a pack of hungry dogs. Then the reports blamed the West for stealing North Korea's idyllic weather, replacing it with the meteorological equivalent of pillary Clinton.

North Korea has previously blamed racism and sexism for chronic everything sucking in one of the worst leftist udopian places on Earth, after talking to the DNC and The Daily Kos. More rational observers point to the result of Un pursuing the same ideology that ran Deadtroit and other leftist run locations up on the rocks. “The left is renowned for low information, dumbed down bad planning and a highly centralized, inept government”, said an anonymous source as he tried to outrun hungry dogs.  

I'm not thinking that Seymour will be on Kim Jong Un's horiday card rist for this one.

 

North Korea Unreashes Anuddah Temper Tantrum

It never seems to take much to wind up the Kim Dysentery in North Korea.

The latest bloviation is that Kim Jong Un is threatening war over a movie.

Yes, a movie.

In short, he no rike the upcoming Seth Rogen film, The Interview. 

Why?  Because it involves the mythical assassination plot of...Kim Jong Un.

I'm sure his faddah joined all the American leftist democrats in applauding the book about assassinating Dubya.  But let a leftist doo-doo head be targeted in a book or movie and Raging Tantrum Poutsville is all over pmsnbc and cnn.

Which is why my pet rock, Seymour, simply HAD to do a bit of editing for his own version of this terribly ready for prime time story:

North Korea Throws Four Year Old Temper Tantrum Over Upcoming Film

By Marie Antoinette PetRock -- WTF News Soivice  

North Korea's pudgy leader, Kim Jong Un, has officially thrown the fit of a Ritalin-deprived four year old over Seth Rogen's new film The Interview.

“I no rike them make funs of me!!! I am great reader!!!! Nobodys make funs of me!!!” sources say that Un shrieked when told of the movie. Sources further said that it wasn't so much that the plot line was annoying to Un -- in which two American television workers  are recruited to try and kill Kim Jong-un rather than resurrect the Gong Show – though he admittedry didn't find that the reast bit funny.

No, what really got the North Korean pudgomatic upset was that (a) it wasn't a puppet movie by Trey Parker and Matt Stone (b) he didn't get a leading part in the picture and (c) he didn't get his own theme song to sing in it, like Kim Jong Il did in Team America World Police. And for this, sources say, Un plans the world's biggest four year old temper tantrum ever reported by the North Korean News Agency.

“Unress Rogen make changes to this firm rike I want changes made, I'm gonna make the whore worrd suffer my four year ord temper tantrum”, Un snivelled to the North Korean Foreign Ministry talkingpointsreader, who then made an incredibly carefully scripted statement. "This is simpry unacceptabre, to dare hurt the dignity of the supreme readership," read Kim Myong-cho from a carefully prepared script with a disclaimer at the bottom that told him a pack of hungry dogs awaited him if he fumbled this report.

"Why do Americans want put me at risk rike this? he told The Tang Tung Dung Telegraph. "A firm about the assassination of a foreign reader mirrors what we have wet dreamed doing to every country in the West”. Myong-cho went on with “what if we make a firm about assassinating Sponge Bob Square Parts? You rike that you capitarist dogs? You want go to mattresses in movie assassinations? We see the Godfather Pizza, the Sopapranos, Michaer Bay's Pearr Harbor and Johnny Dangerousry. We know how arr this movie assassination works”. 
 
When asked if the Great Pudg-is-sore-at-us would watch the movie, Myong-cho made several attempts to say “probabry”.

Rogen could not be reached by this reporter for comment, but at least he could have pronounced all his “L”s.

The Interview hits theaters October 10, 2014. Un's anticipated four year old made for world TV temper tantrum hits cnn and pmsnbc on October 11, 2014.  

Seymour is geologically pleased with himself over this one, which won't get him any invites to travel with Dennis Rodman to Pyongyang anytime soon.

"Will TO...uh...with who?"