North Korea Unreashes Anuddah Temper Tantrum
The latest bloviation is that Kim Jong Un is threatening war over a movie.
Yes, a movie.
In short, he no rike the upcoming Seth Rogen film, The Interview.
Why? Because it involves the mythical assassination plot of...Kim Jong Un.
I'm sure his faddah joined all the American leftist democrats in applauding the book about assassinating Dubya. But let a leftist doo-doo head be targeted in a book or movie and Raging Tantrum Poutsville is all over pmsnbc and cnn.
Which is why my pet rock, Seymour, simply HAD to do a bit of editing for his own version of this terribly ready for prime time story:
North Korea Throws Four Year Old Temper Tantrum Over Upcoming Film
By Marie Antoinette PetRock -- WTF News Soivice
“I no rike them make funs of me!!! I am great reader!!!! Nobodys make funs of me!!!” sources say that Un shrieked when told of the movie. Sources further said that it wasn't so much that the plot line was annoying to Un -- in which two American television workers are recruited to try and kill Kim Jong-un rather than resurrect the Gong Show – though he admittedry didn't find that the reast bit funny.
No, what really got the North Korean pudgomatic upset was that (a) it wasn't a puppet movie by Trey Parker and Matt Stone (b) he didn't get a leading part in the picture and (c) he didn't get his own theme song to sing in it, like Kim Jong Il did in Team America World Police. And for this, sources say, Un plans the world's biggest four year old temper tantrum ever reported by the North Korean News Agency.
“Unress Rogen make changes to this firm rike I want changes made, I'm gonna make the whore worrd suffer my four year ord temper tantrum”, Un snivelled to the North Korean Foreign Ministry talkingpointsreader, who then made an incredibly carefully scripted statement. "This is simpry unacceptabre, to dare hurt the dignity of the supreme readership," read Kim Myong-cho from a carefully prepared script with a disclaimer at the bottom that told him a pack of hungry dogs awaited him if he fumbled this report.
"Why do Americans want put me at risk rike this? he told The Tang Tung Dung Telegraph. "A firm about the assassination of a foreign reader mirrors what we have wet dreamed doing to every country in the West”. Myong-cho went on with “what if we make a firm about assassinating Sponge Bob Square Parts? You rike that you capitarist dogs? You want go to mattresses in movie assassinations? We see the Godfather Pizza, the Sopapranos, Michaer Bay's Pearr Harbor and Johnny Dangerousry. We know how arr this movie assassination works”.
When asked if the Great Pudg-is-sore-at-us would watch the movie, Myong-cho made several attempts to say “probabry”.
Rogen could not be reached by this reporter for comment, but at least he could have pronounced all his “L”s.
The Interview hits theaters October 10, 2014. Un's anticipated four year old made for world TV temper tantrum hits cnn and pmsnbc on October 11, 2014.
Seymour is geologically pleased with himself over this one, which won't get him any invites to travel with Dennis Rodman to Pyongyang anytime soon.
"Will TO...uh...with who?"