Seymour Irritates The Pudginator Again
Seeing an article that Kim Jong Un was demanding that no one else have his name, Seymour was moved to weigh in:
North Korea Reader Gets Screwed Up Order At Pyongyang Eatery And Goes On (yet another) Epic Rant
“Onry I be Kim Jong Un, not one nobody more!” shrieked His Pudgeness during a post “WTF is this” snit he threw at the aforementioned restaurant, finding that his order of McDog Nuggets was actually substitute tofu nuggets at the behest of the North Korean chapter of PETA.
Which was officially banned that day, and all of its members fed to sharks off Wonsan.
His Pudgeness imposed similar bans on movies, cartoons, newspapers and magazines – print and online – according to the same “giving him a wide berth just now” sources. Unfortunately for the Un-ster, his wide ranging bans don't mean much outside of North Korea.
Herr Dr. Kim Jong Unmeister, editor in chief of the Liechtenstein Das Ist Crap Undt Schtuff daily responded by emailing the ranting Pudgester a hearty “Phffffffffffffffffffensee” and declared the month of December “Everyvun In Liechtenstein Ist Kim Jong Un Fer Das Month Undt Schtuff, Ja!” While the DNC in Washington DC is weighing filing lawsuits against anyone making fun of the Pudgester over this – “We be politically correct, first, last, irrelevantly” driveled a spokepoison during an unattended press conference – entrepreneurs across the rest of the world, along with five of seven surveyed planets with life forms of varied degrees, were setting up a landmark t-shirt business, selling shirts proclaiming “I'm a Kim Jong Un, He's a Kim Jong Un, She's a Kim Jong Un, Wouldn't You Like To Be a Kim Jong Un too?”.
“We expect sales to go astronomically blackhole” marveled Kim Jong Un, spokesKim Jong Un for the business. “I mean, just look at the name...it's sounds so Dung Chow Plick, y'know?”.
Official North Korean sources are reporting that His Pudgeness is none too preased, and is prepared to declare war on Liechtenstein, Jupiter, Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Uranus.
Kim Jong Il, the father of the current leader, is dead. Kim Il Sung, the grandfather of the current leader, likewise. Just in case you didn't know.
South Korea's Unification Ministry, which handles ties with the North, could not immediately confirm the report that it's handing out “good for a day Kim Jong Un name changes” to the staff, but said it was plausible.
"The rant is highly possible since Un still hasn't gotten the role in another Team America World Police movie that he's been demanding," a ministry official chuckled.
It is not known how many people there are in North Korea called Kim Jong Un, but sources are sure a rash of Billy Bob and Bobbie Jo Jong Uns is going to be making the rounds.
Seymour PetRock NewsEdits, UnLtd
It is rumored that His Pudgeness has also declared war on my pet rock. At least Seymour needn't worry about being eaten by hungry dogs.