Even Their Offices Are Stupid

Pretty much any unsolicited email from ANYWHERE is potentially (and quite likely) a scam.  But a huge number of them emanate out of West African nations.

The one my character received here is allegedly out of the Repugnant of Benin and is another piss poorly crafted Western Union scam.

Take a look at the key points:


FROM THE OFFICE BLU WESTERN UNION COMPENSATIONS BONUS
ORGANIZERS.Mrs.Susan Dawson, 101 Street De l'Independence, 213 BP,
COTONOU. BENIN REP. PAYMENT NOTIFICATION: SPECIAL BONUS COMPENSATIONS
FOR FINAL WARNING OF YOUR PAYMENT OR IT WILL BE CANCELLED.  

And it goes on to say:

After the payment of ($45) you will start receiving your money every
day ($4,500) either through Western Union or Money Gram preferably by
you ($9,000) until the full payment of ($5.5 million) is completed.
The total sum you will be receiving per day is ($9,000) in two payment
($4,500 X2) DO NOT ASK FOR DEDUCTION because this payment has been
gazette by the Presidency and as such, no deduction or addition can be
imposed on it.  


Not bad....if one word of it were true.   *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

You're more likely to have a magical unicorn drop in and grant you three wishes that actually come true.

This became prime 'editing scam emails for fun and annoyance of the scammers' ground:


FROM THE OFFICE THAT'S FULL OF PEOPLE TOO STUPID TO WRITE THEIR OWN EMAILS

BLU WESTERN DUNCES COMPENSATIONS BOGUS ORGANIZERS

Mrs.Susan Dawson, 101 Street De l'Independence, 213 BP, COTONOU. BENIN REP.

PAYMENT NOTIFICATION: SPECIAL BOGUS COMPENSATIONS

 

FINAL WARNING (OF MANY MORE TO COME BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT FINAL MEANS) THAT YOU RESPOND TO AN OFFICE FULL OF MORONS OR YOUR BOGUS PAYMENT WILL BE CANCELLED.
(how convincing is that? ready to wet yourselves in fear yet?)

Attention moron:
Thanks for the email you never sent us.

We are an office. An office full of Third World nincompoops. We just sit around, swatting flies, fingering our butt holes, and sending out fourth rate scams that couldn't fool a card board box.

We're so bad, our OFFICE has to write and send you this email. For all we know, we're DNC directed democraps of the lowest order that still think it was impossible for thunder thighed Hellary to lose in 2016. Not that it mattered that she was the worst of lots of suckass choices we could have made, but our office digresses.

At any rate, since our office is fed up with how inept we are, it's going to cut right to the rat killing of this particular scam: you send us $45 USD, and you think that's going to get you sent $4500 a day from a Western Union in Benin.

Wowser...even our office can't believe how sandpoundingly stupid you have to be to believe that.

It's so sandpoundingly stupid, let us repeat it:  After the payment of ($45) you will start receiving your money every day ($4,500) either through Western Union or Money Gram preferably by
you ($9,000) until the full payment of ($5.5 million) is completed.  The total sum you will be receiving per day is ($9,000) in two payment ($4,500 X2).

This next part is very important because it doesn't make one bit of common sense grammatically or otherwise: "DO NOT ASK FOR DEDUCTION because this payment has been gazette by the Presidency and as such, no deduction or addition can be impoled on it".

Not only do we need smarter people in this office; we need a working word use checker, too.

Here's how we know you're stupider than we are, if you believe any of this sh*t: Below is the first payment of your new reference number sent today.

Sender Name: Mrs. Susan Kent
Receiver Name: MR JAN DUNANT (if you isn't or ain't this person, please be the ball as directed by the zen philosopher Basho)
Receiver's Country: U.S.A
MTCN:87984231
MTCN:31234567
Amount Sent: $$9,000 USD

And you can prove you're stupider than us by not reading closely the math error we have here too:

"Click this website to show up where you can track the information, Then you can track your money to see that your payment is available for pick up, But you cannot pick the payment until you pay for the charges for the activation process which is the sum of $45 USD.Send this $65 USD with the below information’s immediately so that we will activate your first payment, as the receiver of this funds to enable you pick it up in any Money Gram office Western Union in your country
today".

Receivers Name: SUNDAY MABIA
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Question: WTF?
Answer: YouTF!
Amount $65 USD
Senders Name:..........
Reference:.............

If you don't pay the fee, you don' get no Coke, y'know whadda mean?

And now here is more proof our office don't write email better than any of us: "Okay.I repeat do not border to reply if you were unable to pay the fee.."

W...T...F???

Contact Office of: Mrs.Susan Dawson (because she's too stupid to talk to)
Tel:+229 98262967
Emails:( mrsdawsonsusan101@gmail.com )
Cardboard Box full of Directors with the collective brains of a goat turd
Benin Association of Nincompoops, Unlimited

affiliated with the American Democrapic Nincompoops Committee

Dumbass Brazile, Chairpoison  

 

I have yet to hear back from the originating scammer here.  I did get this from one copied scammer that got the edit:

 

racist much?  

 

Not at all.  I hate morons like you equally and regardless of your skin color and sh*t content.  Happy now?  

 

The respondent had nothing else to say after that.  Duh...

An "International Conference" Ain't Ready for Hillary

No one with a working brain is, either.

An interesting scam email that means to get respondents in the wallet over their "hotel expenses".

Read it here:


Dear Sir/Madame,

You are invited to participate in the up-coming International
Conference on (Human Trafficking, Women & Children Abuse) from the
22nd - 25th of JUNE 2015 in BOSTON the United States at the Metro
Conference Center. The conference is been organize by the
International Society for Human Rights -ISHR.

Registration is free and delegates are entitle to a free United States
Visa arrangements by the Organizing committee, that including your
transportation,feeding and round trip Air tickets...Delegates will
only be responsible for their own hotel accommodation in Boston the
United States were the conference will take place.

Contact the International Society for Human Rights(ISHR) for more
details on registration Email:(ishr.org@zoho.com) or
(amandatara37@zoho.com).

Do inform them that Amanda TARA a staff member of the (ISHR)
recommended you and for further assistance do not hesitate to contact
me at (amandatara37@zoho.com).

Regards,

Amanda TARA
Conference Committee
International Society for Human Rights -ISHR  


Now, who with decency and ethics could POSSIBLY suspect something billed like this as being of dubious intent?

Anyone who knows the left and democrats, pretty much.  I suspect that any of these online scammers probably voted multiple times for Obola, legalities be damned.

So I let that factor into the edit:

Dear Gender Neutral Of Dubious Antecedence,

You are invited to participate in the up-coming International Conference on How The DNC and Obola Use Human Trafficking, Women & Children Abuse as a political voting scam in 2016, from the 22nd - 25th of JUNE 2015 in the basement of the Washington DC Democrap National Committee facility, hosted by DNC chairpoison Debbil Washingmachine Snitz.

 

 

 

The conference is been organize by the International Society for Subordinating Human Rights To Elect Hitlary in 2016 (ISSHRTEH).

Registration is free* and delegates are entitle to a free* United States tour of democrap-controlled cities that Al Sharpton's thugs plan to loot this summer so that they don't miss out on the experience**. 

 

 

Visa arrangements will be made by Obola simply issuing an executive order to let anyone who says they're attending the conference in, regardless of what they're dressed like and how many pounds of plastic explosives they have in their designer "Death To America" backpacks made in Iran.  

 

 

Delegates will only be responsible for expenses if they are freedom-loving conservatives that love America.

Contact the International Society for Subordinating Human Rights To Elect Hitlary in 2016 (ISSHRTEH) for more details on registration Email:(ishr.org@zoho.com) or
(amandatara37@zoho.com).

Do inform them that Jen Psuki and Marie Barf of the US State Department worked out the nuances here so that the lamestream servile mediocres at msnbc and cnn wouldn't suffer brain farts trying to figure out that last sentence.

 

 

 Hurry, spots are limited***.  Hurry soonest and do not hesitate to contact me at (amandatara37@zoho.com).

Regards,
An inflatable clone of Jen Psuki and Marie Barf
Conference Committee
International Society for Subordinating Human Rights To Elect Hitlary in 2016 -ISSHRTEH

*  we'll suck the money out of the US taxpayers

**  we think that foreigners who've been robbed of their just desserts by US policies for the past 230 years deserve something in return.

***  yeah, the DNC basement can only hold so many islamfascist suicide bombers  

 

 

This probably won't make Hitlary's stupor volunteers very happy.  The scammers may not be pleased either, when they find they've been linked to bigger scammers than they are.

 

Fed Reserve Or Fed Up?

 Another day, another Obola nose growth.

SOP.

But this is about a scam email I got from one of Obola's minions...Janet Yellen, head of the Federal Reserve.

Well...that's what it claims to be.

Of course it ain't...just another sleazebag scammer.

Probably one that voted for Pinocchio.

Here's how it starts:


FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF NEW YORK
33 LIBERTY STREET NEW YORK, NY 10045. USA.
NOTIFICATION OF CREDIT FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NEW YORK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that Series of meetings have
been held over the past (1) Month now with the Secretary General of
the United Nations Organization United State of America, which ended
last week It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is
now in the amount of $11,000,000.00 USD (Eleven Million United States
Dollars) as a compensation award to you, due to past corrupt
Governmental Officials who almost held your fund to themselves for
their selfish reasons and some individuals who have taken advantage of
your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to
unnecessary delay in the receipt and so many losses from your end.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations
and Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you who have
been found not to have received their Compensation Awards.

Now, how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two
Method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you
will use to withdraw up to $5000.00 USD (Five Thousand Dollars) per
day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the
card have to be renewed in 3 years time which is 2016. Also with the
ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank
account. Even if you do not have a bank account, the ATM card comes
with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it.

Check: A cashier check will be issued in your name and you will
deposit it in your Bank for it to be cleared within three working
days.

Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option
above and would be mailed to you via UPS, because we have signed a
contract with UPS which should expire on (17TH) of April. 2015, You
will only need to pay $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars). So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).  


And you've got to love how I ended it with the Commie Core math the left has designed.  Paying $350 instead of $550 is a $300 savings.

*DUMBED DOWN ALERT*

This one didn't cry out for an edit; it fairly shrieked for one, so forth I went, making sure to roll references to Mad Madness, Hilarity, the substandard DNC and other assorted angles into the mix:

FEDUP RESERVE BLANK OF NEW YAWHK
33 LIBEL STREET NEW YAWHK, NY 10045. USA.

MORTIFICATION OF CRUDIT FROM BANK FEDUP RESERVE BOARD NEW YAWHK.


Urgent Attn:

OFFICIAL NOTICE: this is to notify you that a series of meetings have
been held over the past how many ever years of human existence, and

not one of them managed a perfect bracket in the Yahoo March Madness

Bracket Challenge.  So what the fuck good were they?

Secretary General of the United Nations Organization -- a "tits on a boar"

sort named Ban Mai Moon -- determined that if only 4% of the betting

population would have picked UAB over Iowa State, a perfect bracket

was more likely than anyone in the Obola regime telling the truth.

Due to current corrupt Governmental Officials who couldn't pick an

NCAA bracket from an old The Gong Show episode on Knuckleheadodian

TV, the current tournament has been declared null and void, and this

year's winner has been declared to be William & Mary.  How this could

be done was as easy as Hillary losing 30,000 emails.  Perhaps even

easier.

The National Central Bureau of Bracket Pickism enhanced by the United Nations
and Fedup Bureau of Inbloviation have successfully finalize to
boost the exercise of clearing all brackets that had Kentucky winning the tournament,

and awarded these games to William & Mary.  Which heretofore shall be knowd

and Mary & William, to make up for years of gendrification, sexualcation and

a host of other cations that can be filled in at ones' leisure.

Now, if you were in the running despite not having picked UAB over Iowa St.,

and this declaration has now totally screwed your pooch, worry not:  we intend

to screw your other pets, too.

And in order to defray our costs associated with this hijacking of a Las

Vegas cash cow, it will only cost you $350.00 Only instead of $550 USD (Five Hundred
and Fifty Dollars) that Obola wanted you to pay. So, if you  pay before April. (17TH). 2015, you
save 300 USD (Three Hundred Dollars).

Yes, we used Commie Core math on that, because aliens don't wear purple hats when trading

apples, pencils and pancakes.

Take note that you will have to stop communication with every other
person if you have been in contact with any. Nor may you continue

communication with wombats, platypus or talking Barbie dildos.

Also remember that the only difference between Debbil Washingmachine

Snitz and a pig is the spelling.

Note: Everything has been taken care of...Hillary is erasing your emails

too.  

Note that you have been advice to urgently proceed to the corner of

Western Union and Money Gram and told to meet up with our covert

agent to see to all the modalities and other sordid shit associated with

anything done by democraps.  

Contact's Name: Mr. David Wing Wang Wong Wong Wong
Address: 155 Anal Canal Street New Yawhk, NY 10003
AMOUNT TO SEND $350.00 DOLLARS ONLY in uninflated

dildos disguised as cucumbers.

Kindly get back to us as well with all the phone numbers of virgins

you might know who have never heard of Bill Clinton and like the

idea of being an intern genital humidor.

Your amended brackets with Mary & William as winner will be sent to

you via Nancy Pelosi's Flying Broom Service within 2 working days upon
confirmation that none of this email is in the hands of Trey Gowdy.

We are so sure of everything that's misreported by msnbc that we are

we are giving you a 100% Guarantee that you will get nothing good out

of this.  

Email Hillary immediately because it takes her time to get rid of incriminations.

Note That Because Of fraud and impostors in the DNC, We Hereby Issued

You Our Code Of Misconduct, Which Is (WTF-2015) So You Have To Indicate This Code
When replying back to us  By Using It As Your Subject.

Thanks for getting bent over by the Democrap National Crimeity while we looking
forward to serving ourselves gooder at your expense.  Marie Harf is working on

nuancing that so you can't understand it. 

 

Mrs. Janet Yellen

Janet Smellin' Yellen
Director Fedup Reserve Blank New Yawhk,
Fedup Reserve Broad helps undermine strong communities
by creating messes like Deadtroit, Benghazi, Yemen, et al.  

Much as I appreciate bad math and a worse email from the Fed, I reckon they didn't appreciate the response h'yar...