Even Their Offices Are Stupid

Pretty much any unsolicited email from ANYWHERE is potentially (and quite likely) a scam.  But a huge number of them emanate out of West African nations.

The one my character received here is allegedly out of the Repugnant of Benin and is another piss poorly crafted Western Union scam.

Take a look at the key points:


FROM THE OFFICE BLU WESTERN UNION COMPENSATIONS BONUS
ORGANIZERS.Mrs.Susan Dawson, 101 Street De l'Independence, 213 BP,
COTONOU. BENIN REP. PAYMENT NOTIFICATION: SPECIAL BONUS COMPENSATIONS
FOR FINAL WARNING OF YOUR PAYMENT OR IT WILL BE CANCELLED.  

And it goes on to say:

After the payment of ($45) you will start receiving your money every
day ($4,500) either through Western Union or Money Gram preferably by
you ($9,000) until the full payment of ($5.5 million) is completed.
The total sum you will be receiving per day is ($9,000) in two payment
($4,500 X2) DO NOT ASK FOR DEDUCTION because this payment has been
gazette by the Presidency and as such, no deduction or addition can be
imposed on it.  


Not bad....if one word of it were true.   *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

You're more likely to have a magical unicorn drop in and grant you three wishes that actually come true.

This became prime 'editing scam emails for fun and annoyance of the scammers' ground:


FROM THE OFFICE THAT'S FULL OF PEOPLE TOO STUPID TO WRITE THEIR OWN EMAILS

BLU WESTERN DUNCES COMPENSATIONS BOGUS ORGANIZERS

Mrs.Susan Dawson, 101 Street De l'Independence, 213 BP, COTONOU. BENIN REP.

PAYMENT NOTIFICATION: SPECIAL BOGUS COMPENSATIONS

 

FINAL WARNING (OF MANY MORE TO COME BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT FINAL MEANS) THAT YOU RESPOND TO AN OFFICE FULL OF MORONS OR YOUR BOGUS PAYMENT WILL BE CANCELLED.
(how convincing is that? ready to wet yourselves in fear yet?)

Attention moron:
Thanks for the email you never sent us.

We are an office. An office full of Third World nincompoops. We just sit around, swatting flies, fingering our butt holes, and sending out fourth rate scams that couldn't fool a card board box.

We're so bad, our OFFICE has to write and send you this email. For all we know, we're DNC directed democraps of the lowest order that still think it was impossible for thunder thighed Hellary to lose in 2016. Not that it mattered that she was the worst of lots of suckass choices we could have made, but our office digresses.

At any rate, since our office is fed up with how inept we are, it's going to cut right to the rat killing of this particular scam: you send us $45 USD, and you think that's going to get you sent $4500 a day from a Western Union in Benin.

Wowser...even our office can't believe how sandpoundingly stupid you have to be to believe that.

It's so sandpoundingly stupid, let us repeat it:  After the payment of ($45) you will start receiving your money every day ($4,500) either through Western Union or Money Gram preferably by
you ($9,000) until the full payment of ($5.5 million) is completed.  The total sum you will be receiving per day is ($9,000) in two payment ($4,500 X2).

This next part is very important because it doesn't make one bit of common sense grammatically or otherwise: "DO NOT ASK FOR DEDUCTION because this payment has been gazette by the Presidency and as such, no deduction or addition can be impoled on it".

Not only do we need smarter people in this office; we need a working word use checker, too.

Here's how we know you're stupider than we are, if you believe any of this sh*t: Below is the first payment of your new reference number sent today.

Sender Name: Mrs. Susan Kent
Receiver Name: MR JAN DUNANT (if you isn't or ain't this person, please be the ball as directed by the zen philosopher Basho)
Receiver's Country: U.S.A
MTCN:87984231
MTCN:31234567
Amount Sent: $$9,000 USD

And you can prove you're stupider than us by not reading closely the math error we have here too:

"Click this website to show up where you can track the information, Then you can track your money to see that your payment is available for pick up, But you cannot pick the payment until you pay for the charges for the activation process which is the sum of $45 USD.Send this $65 USD with the below information’s immediately so that we will activate your first payment, as the receiver of this funds to enable you pick it up in any Money Gram office Western Union in your country
today".

Receivers Name: SUNDAY MABIA
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Question: WTF?
Answer: YouTF!
Amount $65 USD
Senders Name:..........
Reference:.............

If you don't pay the fee, you don' get no Coke, y'know whadda mean?

And now here is more proof our office don't write email better than any of us: "Okay.I repeat do not border to reply if you were unable to pay the fee.."

W...T...F???

Contact Office of: Mrs.Susan Dawson (because she's too stupid to talk to)
Tel:+229 98262967
Emails:( mrsdawsonsusan101@gmail.com )
Cardboard Box full of Directors with the collective brains of a goat turd
Benin Association of Nincompoops, Unlimited

affiliated with the American Democrapic Nincompoops Committee

Dumbass Brazile, Chairpoison  

 

I have yet to hear back from the originating scammer here.  I did get this from one copied scammer that got the edit:

 

racist much?  

 

Not at all.  I hate morons like you equally and regardless of your skin color and sh*t content.  Happy now?  

 

The respondent had nothing else to say after that.  Duh...