Skunkfeathers: Auto Bet On More Variants

The "fourteen days to flatten the curve" just keep growing.

So does the abject BS behind it.

I was recently amused to hear a report locally that about a dozen zoo animals at the Denver (CO) Zoo had tested positive for the COVID 19 virus.

Lions and tigers. Bears were not mentioned.

Oh my.

The story indicated that the animals displayed symptoms like coughing and sneezing.

None wound up on ventilators and none died.

There was no mention of vaccine mandates. And I don't reckon they took well to the swab test.

My pet rock, Seymour, suddenly went *TOING* and asked if I'd heard that at a car dealership locally, a percentage of the vehicles had come down with CARVID 19, causing great consternation in news rooms hereabouts.

I had to admit that I'd missed that one.

At any rate, Seymour thought it'd be useful to publish his claim on one of my social media sites.

The results? An interesting back 'n forth between Seymour and a commenter from the state of Georgia:

Just heard a news story that over a dozen animals at the Denver Zoo tested positive for COVID 19. All recovered without a vaccine. Next up: 57 of 200 autos at a car dealership in Denver tested positive for CARVID 19. Symptoms include wheezing, coughing and backfiring when started. One Ford Pinto and two Yugos did not recover.

cnn is warning about an outbreak of the GM Variant CARVID 19 virus...

Your post has grave consequences. I have questions. Is this a pandemic or an epidemic? Will foreign oil cure the innards of the cars? Will domestic gasoline be able to clear out those fuel injectors in time? The Air Filter has now become an all important protective device. Furthermore a diaper must be put on all exhaust pipes to stop the spread of the CARVID-19 Virus. Thank you for informing us all of this deadly outbreak. Your contribution is invaluable.

It seems to fall in the autos-no-longer-immune cartegory. Domestic vs foreign oil dependzoil on the grade. All cars will be required to wear masks over their grills.

Consumer Retorts will shortly publish a survey of the Top and Bottom 10 Vehicle brands most and least likely to suffer ejectile dysfunction in their fuel systems as a result of CARVID 19 exposure.

Remember, we're all in this together...unless it's a smart car.

Damn I forgot about the ejectile dysfunction. Maybe Pfizer can make a Viagas additive.

It's out for bid between Pennzoil, Castroil, Immobile 1 and Oliveoil, if Popeye signs on.

Regarding Pfizer, their efforts at an auto version of Viagra met some difficulties when, in field tests on used cars, it operated more like Niagra, showing significant fall off in performance. Your car's results may vary...