FauxKet Air

Mr. Ly Tan Seng is wondering what ever happened to his email scam.

Cuz it don't resemble what it did when it arrived in my character's email box:

Greetings,

I am Mr.Ly Tay Seng and a personal Accountant Director with Foreign Trade Bank of Cambodia (FTB).
it is with good spirit of heart i opened up this great opportunity to you A deceased client of mine that shares almost the same name as yours died as a result of heart-related condition on march 2005.His heart condition was duo to the death of the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26 December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia where they all lost their lives..{More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake_and_tsunami}

There is a draft account opened in my bank in 1999 by a long-time client our bank,a national of your country.he was a CEO/a textile company owner,business man,a miner at kruger mining company here in Cambodia. he was a geologist and consultant to several other mining conglomerates operating in Cambodia,China,Taiwan,Japan,Indonesia,Pakistan,Vietnam all in Asia,before he passed away on 12th march 2005 leaving nobody as the next of kin of his account after his death.

The amount in this account is currently $19,340,000 (Nineteen Million Three Hundred and Forty Thousand United States Dollars) I want to present you as a beneficiary,I will use my position and influence in our bank to make they release this money to you for us to share.If i wait for days and i do not hear from you,I shall look for another person.

Kindly get back to me for more details, 

Yours sincerely
Mr. Ly Tay Seng
Board of Director
Foreign Trade Bank of Cambodia
Phnom Penh  

Nawp...it don't look like that after my character's edit that was shared with dozens of the scammer's peers and colleagues:

From: Mr . Wun Phat Bum <scanner@sportmalta.org.mt>
Sent: Friday, November 11, 2016 6:48 AM
Subject: VERY IMPORTANT !!!

 

Greetings and egg roll,

I am Mr. Wun Phat Bum and a pilot for O Phuk No Airline of Cambodia (OPN) with service to wherever Bill Clinton want to get some.

it is with too many ingested spirits that i opened up this great airline opportunity to you.  A deceased colleague of mine that used to fly with me -- Captain Sum Ting Wong -- died as a result of heart-related condition when he realized his plane -- a single engine Ceasedna -- stopped working at 9500 feet over Cape Notwork on March 2015.  His heart condition was due to what happened next.  Along with him at the time were co-pilots and OPN Airline employees Ho Lee Phuk, Bang Ding Ow, Wei Be Dung and Wi No Luk.   They were able to crash land the plane in the sea, but while swimming to shore, were eaten by sharks.

Even though Ho Lee Phuk was wearing his good luck ham at the time.

The airline has been equipped with the latest gadgetry available from Acme Corporation, recommended to us by a Mr. Wile Coyote -- a long experienced aviation pioneer -- and his business partner Mr. Roadrunner, so what happened with my colleagues was a shock to no one in particular. 

That's where you hopefully come in.

 

My colleagues and I had a draft account opened in my bank in 2003, wherein when we had saved enough, we were going to donate to the Clinton Crimedation and get some airline concessions in their "pay to play" arrangements via newly elected Hellary Clinton.  Unfortunately, as November 8 showed, that plan is now shelved and we need another scheme for our money.  We had intended to buy Frontier Airlines, so that we could harvest and eat the tail mascots in a line of Fast Phuk's Cambodian Drive Thru restaurants here in Cambodia.  Now we need a different ploy.

The amount in this account is currently $19,340 (Nineteen Thousand Three Hundred Forty in Nigerian Naira; about $63 in USD)  and I want to make this amount available to you for a modest fee, along with your help in securing the Frontier Airline animal mascots for our restaurant idea.  I will use my position and influence in Cambodia, but I need you or someone that looks like you to help make some part of this work out, otherwise I'll be shoveling komodo dragon sh*t for the next 20 years.

Kindly get back to me for more details, 

Yours sincerely
Mr. Won Phat Bum
Chief Pilot
O Phuk No Airline of Cambodia

mr.lyseng444@gmail.com
Phnom Penh, no relation to Sean

some relation to Bic

 

Of some surprise here, my character on this one drew a scammer who could actually read:

what kind of kidding is this?  

The kidding kind.  What kind was yours?  

I didn't get an answer to that.  However, it does mean a reprieve for the Frontier mascots, even if they've been unemployed ad-wise.

Ettu, Hellary.

...I've seen that look...

Is You Daid?

Sometimes, they think you're DAID.

The scammers, that is.

Mighty inconvenient for them, iffen you is.

But another kind of inconvenience can creep into their scam ploy when you ain't...but play like you is.

Here's an example from Zenith Bank (snerx) in Benin:

My name is Larry JohnI am the manager of ATM department in Zenith Bank 
plc Benin republic, am here to inform you that a man came to our office this morning his name is Mr. Ben Clopper he told us that he is your brother from your  country U.S.A he said that you are dead. Mr. Ben Clopper said that you die two months ago in a car accident on your way  going to work and before your death you told him that you have an ATM CARD worth  of
$1.5 million dollars and he  came here with $145 dollars the activation fee  of the ATM card to activate the ATM card and collect it.

If real you are dead may your soul rest in perfect peace AMEN, but if you are  alive please due call me on this phone number ( +229 67206750) and get back to  me with the $145 dollars activation fee today okay. If I did not hear from you  today with the activation fee then I will collect the $145 dollars activation fee from Mr. Ben Clopper and hand the ATM card over to him okay. Below is the information to send the $145 dollars activation fee via western 
union money transfer.

Receiver Name ….. James  Johnson
Country ….. Benin Republic
City ….. Port-Novo
Text Question ….. Yes
Text Answer ….. Yes
Amount ….. $145 usd
MTCN …..
Sender Name …..
Sender Country …..
Do have a wonderful day if you are alive but if you are dead may your soul rest
in peace (AMEN)Yours Faithfully
Mr. Larry John.
Director Swift ATM Credit Card/ Telex Dept.
Zenith Bank Plc Benin Republic  

I love how they bade me a wonderful day if alive but if I am dead may my soul rest in peace (AMEN).

Mebbe they ready for this reply...mebbe they not:

No, Ben Clopper is absolutely correct.  I died some time ago.  It is fortunate...most fortunate..that I was able to establish this contact mode via the ITC astral bridge link so as to respond to this email in a timely manure; more often than not, the ITC astral bridge link fails when contaminants to the free flow of communication between the afterworld and the physical realm are present, such as persons with dubious and odious intent in their communications for example...But yes, you are authorized to allow Ben Clopper access to the account funds.

Myra Manes,

benefactor and late relative of Ben Clopper

It was awfully nice of Wiley Coyote to stand in for Myra Manes in an illustrative manure here.

 

Especially at THAT particular moment.

 

But back to Zenith Bank in Benin, and their response to finding out that my character, while able to communicate approval of the scammer's made-up character having the fauxaccount, is in fact daid:

 

what is going on?  Are you dead or not?   (is this idiot serious?)

Deader than a can of corned beef.  How about you?  

we are serious bank we have no time for jokes.  

You want to deal with me, you'll MAKE time for them.  Did you hear the one about the skeleton that clatters into a bar and orders a beer and a mop? 

Them fellers musta heard that one before...they didn't want to speak with the dead no mores.

And I had so many more jokes to tell...