Scams, Buses, Email Servers

I reckon it's on accounta cuz Ms Serena Baturi -- referenced in the last post -- has sent out so many emails, she simply cannot keep track of them all.

But she DID get back to my one character with the 'very important thing' she wanted to tell me.

And h'yar it is:


How is your day? Like you know, I am living in the refugee camp here in Dakar-Senegal. In this camp, its just like one staying in the prison and I hope by God's grace, I will come out here soon. I don't have any relatives now whom I can go to as all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war.    The only person I have now is Rev. Jude Agai who is the pastor of ( Christ Gospel Mission ) here in the camp, he has been very nice to me since I came here but I am not living with him rather I live in the females hostel  because the camp has two hostels one for men the other for women.    Please try to call by 12 GMT with The Pastor's Telephone number is: (+221-763-980-238), when you call, tell him that you want to speak with me, so that he will send for me in the hostel. Please call me today, I will love to hear your voice.
As a refugee here, I don't have any right or privilege to anything be it money or whatever because it is against the law of  this country. I want to go back to my studies because i only attended  my first year before the tragic incident that led to the death  of my parents took place.
Please listen to this, I have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which I will send to you later, because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank, which he used my name as the next of kin, the amount is $3.9M ( Three Million Nine Hundred Thousand US Dollars ). So I will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from there you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.    I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person  that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father  to me. So in the light of above I will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for I am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. Please I will like you to send me all the under-mentioned particulars, for me to know you more, and know whom I am dealing with.    Below here is what I need from  you so that I can Forward it  to the bank to start the processing of transfer  procedures with you as my representative :
(1) Full name
(2) country of residence & city
(3) phone number
Remember, I am giving you all this information due to the trust I reposed in you. I love you because you are an honest and understanding person.You are truthful, full of vision and a hardworking person. Thanks for your sweet regards for me. You are a nice person, I love to meet you very soon. I will like you to call me, call around 2pm GMT. I want to hear your voice ok.
Have a nice day and think about me.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest.  


All that hokum about my character being a nice guy and all...she should have speaks with a recent ex-friend, but I digress. 

At any rate, I sensed another edit...and one that I just KNOW the DNC is gonna love:


Like you know, I am living like a refugee even as Tom Petty sez I doesn't has to.  Here in Dakar-Senegal, we has all the comforts of home after a group of us helped loot Ferguson, Missouri; Al Sharpton arranged a bus for us there, and a bus with a big U-Haul trailer for our loot, back home.  He got some money from companies that are afraid to call him a douche nozzle jackwagon race baiting, tax cheating crook, which he is.  It was luverly.  We're hoping for some more riots in your country, so we can get the new play stations and games for free.  Got me six Obolaphones....how I do like the life of a refugee, Senegal and DNC style.  But I digress.

In this camp, its just like one living the dream and I hope by God's grace, I will have title to the luxury condo I'm living in.  I only have to has sleeps with about two more platoons of the local UN rapekeeping farce here to achieve that.  I don't have any relatives now whom can sponge off me, since they all got collected up by Boko Harumphf and now they dig latrines, peel potatoes, police up butts -- without toilet paper, I not sure I like that last -- while I live in splendor here.  It's good to be a low information dependent of the DNC.

The only person I have now is Rev. Jude Agai who is the pastor of ( Christ Gospel Mission ) here in the camp, but the DNC sez I don't have to put up with Christians, so we're having him traded for a Jehovah Witness-turned-atheist, who goes around and knocks on doors for no reason.  Pretty strange, some of them in the DNC.  Well okay, most of them.

Please try to call by 12 CUT with The Pastor's Telephone number: (+221-763-980-238); while he's out speechifying to goats, I can use up minutes on his phone, rather than on my six.  Pretty smart, huh?  Please call me only during day time, as I am entertaining UN rapekeepers at night.  

As a refugee here -- supported by the DNC -- I can do whatever I want, so's long as I am available to be bussed to made up protests and "fomented crisis of moment for msnbc to fan flames of", whatever that mean.  I once wanted to go back to my studies because i only attended  my first year before the tragic incident that led to my having to get a real job, but an Al Sharpton-staged riot burned down and looted the business, so now I'm back on the DNC dole again and it feel so good.  

Please listen to this, it from the talking points I get from Jen Psaki and Marie Harf, both wenches of dubious antecedence and practically no brains outside of what they read from talking points memos like this one:  I have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which I will send to you later, because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank, which he used my name as the next of kin, the amount is $3.9M ( Three Million Nine Hundred Thousand Canadian dollars, all in Spocked $5 bills). So I will like you to help me transfer this money to your account so I can hide it from DNC and stay on dole 'cuz I like wealth redistribution democrap style.  Letting others work for me and I get their taxes gived to me is awesome.  It assures that I'll vote for the democraps at least 100 times in 2016.

I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person  that knows about it is the Reverend and he isn't talking because I has a picture of him leaving a Motel 6 with an inflatable llama and Nancy Pelosi at 3am one morning.  So in the light of above I will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for I am afraid of loosing my easy life as a entitlement dependent and on-call rioter/looter for Sharpton's Racebaiters Syndicate. 

In fact, I want you to destroy this email and the server it's on.  Or better still, give it to Hillary Clintard to do it.  She good at hiding and losing things I hear.

Remember, I am giving you all this information due to the fact I am assured you don't work for Trey Gowdy. I love you because this talking points memo said I'm supposed to say that, even if what I really love is a three puckered goat named Harry that looks just like that wrinkled prune from Nevada.  

Awaiting to hear from you -- and not a subpoena from the House Ethics Committee -- soonest.

 

 

Whether this stops Serena Baturi from further considering my character a 'nice guy' or not is subject to future debate; I can guarantee that I'll be getting no invites to the DNC anytime soon.

 

Couldn't attend any of their functions without having my pockets picked, anyway.

Internet Love (Scam) Gone Editing Wrong

Meet who my email character is supposed to believe is Serena Baturi, a 23 year old refugee from the Ivory Coast, living in another one of those non-existent refugee camps in Dakar, Senegal.

Ignoring Tom Petty, she claims to live like a refugee, while having most likely millions in the bank, somewhere.

Uh huh.

Here's her opening and follow up ploys:


I Am Interested in you,
My name is Serena, I am very glad to view your profile today, please I want you to contact me through my email ID because I have a Very Important thing to tell you.
I will be expecting your mail.
Thanks  


Just so we're clear here -- as an ex-friend liked to say while being vague and incommunicative as could be -- Serena sent this to FOUR of my email accounts; three of which are dedicated to playing with scammers just like her.  So from one, my character responded simply with a "tell me more" email.  And she did:


Hello my sweetlove,
How is everything? I know it's all good. I am excited to read from you today. My dear as I told you in my last mail, My name is serena Baturi, an Ivorian in West Africa.Presently I am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal, as a result of the civil war going on in my country.  I am a beautiful loving young girl of 23 years, about 5'8" tall. slim fit, weighing about 60kg. My father Late Hon. Humphrey Baturi was a successful businessman, he deals on Gold and Diamond before the rebels attacked our house one evening and kill him with my mother and my only brother. I'm the only one alive from the family.  By the grace of God I made my way to a nearby country where I'm  presently living as a refugee.My dear, I came in the site to search for love and care  which I have not gotten for a very long  time since I lost my family members.  I here by believe that in time to come you will be my side and I will show you unreserved love and respect through out my time .    Dear, I want to know more about you, your real name, Your  real country, your occupation, your age your hobbies and what you are doing presently.    My hobbies are swimming, dancing, singing, cooking, reading, sports and watching movies.   As for me, i have a lot and VERY IMPORTANT thing to tell you in my next mail, maybe before then i will try to get our Rev phone number to give you so you can call for us to talk and hear each others voice.   And please also remember that in a any good relationship ''Distance or Age '' dose not matters, what matters is how you care about ache other , so please bear with me for the distance and age.   I have attached my pictures here for you to know me very well. In my next mail I will tell you more about  myself.
I wait your reply with impatience.
yours
serena  


The "VERY IMPORTANT thing" she was to tell me next will probably not get told now...on accounta cuz my character took the above email and edited it, both in text and photos:

On Friday, March 13, 2015 3:33 AM, Serenan Baturi <serenanbaturi@aol.com> decomposed while shooing fruit flies away from her petrified cherry with a waffle iron:

Hello my sweet dupe,

I start by askage "how is everything?"  Personally, I doesn't not care how is everythings with you, because you are jackwagon asshat that gots moneys I want.  But I not sez that heres, okay?  Insteads I sez that I know it's all good.

I got so excited I projectile wets myself repeterly to read from you today. I be sending out this email for six moths now, and you're the first dumbass what bothered replied.  My witch doctor, Ukulele Unga Bunga Horny Boo Boo, he tells me in reading my wet t-shirt leaves the other day that my luck about change, which explain the second photo I attack to this email.  The first photo was first ahead of the second, which is second only becourse my witch doctor not make look like door knockup in the first photo.  There is an odor to things in life, yes?

 

 

 

In my firstest email I not tells you mooch to go own.  That be by décor.  Now you writed on my back, so I tells you mores to wheat your app alright.  My name this week is serena Baturi, an Ivorian in West Africa, a suburban of what left of Deadtroit.  Presently I am residing in the mythical refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal -- it just down street from drugged store we looted last night protesting what Al Sharpton tell us to.  Why I live 9-5 in refugee camp is subject of duckumentally on msnbc called One Life One Looter, narrated by Toure and photo shopped by new York slimes.  I think I buydress so let me get backs on port.  As a result of the template I was telled to use to do this email.  There is a uncivil war going on in my country. No goat be safes there.  If you look past my photos I really is a beautiful loving young girl of 23 years, about 5'8" tall, 400 lbs and able to body slam a wildebeest in 4.6 seconds.  My father Late Hon. Humphrey Baturi was a successful businessman, he did speechifying about different gods on TV evangelizers show until he try heal a hippo with genital wart in Burundi a year ago. 

I think you can see how that not end well on YouTube.

Before he try this pretty stupids thing, he was gassed speaker with Pastor Robert Tilton, and they did rousing rendition of farted Dueling Pastors on the Discovery Chanel Number 5, which is why it off the air now.  With family like that, you can finger why I'm the only one alive from the family.  By the grace of a coke bottle my witch doctore find and install as deity to a group of muslim camel rapists, I made my way to a nearby county where I'm presently living like a refugee if if Tom Petty say I not needs to.  I came inside internat to search for love and I find I too fat to be cyber so at present I stuck in here.  If you not getting your daily news feed, that why; it blocked by my ass.

I here by believe that in time to come you will be in my side and I will show you how that extraction can be do with tweezer and Ma's Cure-a-crumb ointment and lubricant.  Undeserved love and respect through out time is puppycork; fall not in love therefore or five, it will stick to your face.  Profondled, huh?  I gots lodes more like it.  I want know more about you, your real name, all your fake name, your real country, your underwear size, your inflatable sex toys count, your preoccupation, your age, your hobbies and most impotently, your banks account. 

Also wants know did this email gives you woody or some other dowel, dildo or whatevers.  

My hobbies used to be swimming until I get large and they send tsunami warning when I go nears the water; dancing with wombats; singing the greatest hits of William Hung and William Shatter; cooking missionaries; reading instructions after I overcooks missionaries; and watching classic holyweird movies like Napolean Dynomited and Beatlesjuiced.  

As for me, if I can ever get out of being stuck inside this internat thing -- fiber oprahs suck -- i have a lot and VERY IMPORTANT thing to tell you in my next mail, maybe before then i will try to get our Rev Al Sharpton's phone number to give you so you can listen to him going on and on about wart privilege and rashism and how he be such an ass peoples pay him to goes away.

And please also remember that in a any good relationship ''Distance or Age '' dose not matters, what matters is that abscess make the fart go Honda.  I think.  

I have attached my pictures here for you to know me very well. In my next mail I will tell you more about how I am going to replace Marie Barf at department of state because I talks gooder than her and can keep a straighter face when I lies on the talking points memooos.  

I wait your reply with genital insert...I can't reach it being jammed in internat.  Hope you can email past my blockage.

  
serena

serenanbaturi@aol.com

A good DNC low informationer of dubious antlercedence and love child of Debbil Washingmachine Schiesse and a bus  

 

 

The silence that followed suggests that my character is not now likely to learn what that 'very important thing' is.  Then again, some things are knowd without being told.

 

And if I really want to find out what that 'thing' is, I have three other emails from her to find out via...