Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Scams, Buses, Email Servers

I reckon it's on accounta cuz Ms Serena Baturi -- referenced in the last post -- has sent out so many emails, she simply cannot keep track of them all.

But she DID get back to my one character with the 'very important thing' she wanted to tell me.

And h'yar it is:


How is your day? Like you know, I am living in the refugee camp here in Dakar-Senegal. In this camp, its just like one staying in the prison and I hope by God's grace, I will come out here soon. I don't have any relatives now whom I can go to as all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war.    The only person I have now is Rev. Jude Agai who is the pastor of ( Christ Gospel Mission ) here in the camp, he has been very nice to me since I came here but I am not living with him rather I live in the females hostel  because the camp has two hostels one for men the other for women.    Please try to call by 12 GMT with The Pastor's Telephone number is: (+221-763-980-238), when you call, tell him that you want to speak with me, so that he will send for me in the hostel. Please call me today, I will love to hear your voice.
As a refugee here, I don't have any right or privilege to anything be it money or whatever because it is against the law of  this country. I want to go back to my studies because i only attended  my first year before the tragic incident that led to the death  of my parents took place.
Please listen to this, I have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which I will send to you later, because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank, which he used my name as the next of kin, the amount is $3.9M ( Three Million Nine Hundred Thousand US Dollars ). So I will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from there you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.    I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person  that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father  to me. So in the light of above I will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for I am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. Please I will like you to send me all the under-mentioned particulars, for me to know you more, and know whom I am dealing with.    Below here is what I need from  you so that I can Forward it  to the bank to start the processing of transfer  procedures with you as my representative :
(1) Full name
(2) country of residence & city
(3) phone number
Remember, I am giving you all this information due to the trust I reposed in you. I love you because you are an honest and understanding person.You are truthful, full of vision and a hardworking person. Thanks for your sweet regards for me. You are a nice person, I love to meet you very soon. I will like you to call me, call around 2pm GMT. I want to hear your voice ok.
Have a nice day and think about me.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest.  



All that hokum about my character being a nice guy and all...she should have speaks with a recent ex-friend, but I digress. 

At any rate, I sensed another edit...and one that I just KNOW the DNC is gonna love:


Like you know, I am living like a refugee even as Tom Petty sez I doesn't has to.  Here in Dakar-Senegal, we has all the comforts of home after a group of us helped loot Ferguson, Missouri; Al Sharpton arranged a bus for us there, and a bus with a big U-Haul trailer for our loot, back home.  He got some money from companies that are afraid to call him a douche nozzle jackwagon race baiting, tax cheating crook, which he is.  It was luverly.  We're hoping for some more riots in your country, so we can get the new play stations and games for free.  Got me six Obolaphones....how I do like the life of a refugee, Senegal and DNC style.  But I digress.

In this camp, its just like one living the dream and I hope by God's grace, I will have title to the luxury condo I'm living in.  I only have to has sleeps with about two more platoons of the local UN rapekeeping farce here to achieve that.  I don't have any relatives now whom can sponge off me, since they all got collected up by Boko Harumphf and now they dig latrines, peel potatoes, police up butts -- without toilet paper, I not sure I like that last -- while I live in splendor here.  It's good to be a low information dependent of the DNC.

The only person I have now is Rev. Jude Agai who is the pastor of ( Christ Gospel Mission ) here in the camp, but the DNC sez I don't have to put up with Christians, so we're having him traded for a Jehovah Witness-turned-atheist, who goes around and knocks on doors for no reason.  Pretty strange, some of them in the DNC.  Well okay, most of them.

Please try to call by 12 CUT with The Pastor's Telephone number: (+221-763-980-238); while he's out speechifying to goats, I can use up minutes on his phone, rather than on my six.  Pretty smart, huh?  Please call me only during day time, as I am entertaining UN rapekeepers at night.  

As a refugee here -- supported by the DNC -- I can do whatever I want, so's long as I am available to be bussed to made up protests and "fomented crisis of moment for msnbc to fan flames of", whatever that mean.  I once wanted to go back to my studies because i only attended  my first year before the tragic incident that led to my having to get a real job, but an Al Sharpton-staged riot burned down and looted the business, so now I'm back on the DNC dole again and it feel so good.  

Please listen to this, it from the talking points I get from Jen Psaki and Marie Harf, both wenches of dubious antecedence and practically no brains outside of what they read from talking points memos like this one:  I have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which I will send to you later, because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank, which he used my name as the next of kin, the amount is $3.9M ( Three Million Nine Hundred Thousand Canadian dollars, all in Spocked $5 bills). So I will like you to help me transfer this money to your account so I can hide it from DNC and stay on dole 'cuz I like wealth redistribution democrap style.  Letting others work for me and I get their taxes gived to me is awesome.  It assures that I'll vote for the democraps at least 100 times in 2016.

I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person  that knows about it is the Reverend and he isn't talking because I has a picture of him leaving a Motel 6 with an inflatable llama and Nancy Pelosi at 3am one morning.  So in the light of above I will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for I am afraid of loosing my easy life as a entitlement dependent and on-call rioter/looter for Sharpton's Racebaiters Syndicate. 

In fact, I want you to destroy this email and the server it's on.  Or better still, give it to Hillary Clintard to do it.  She good at hiding and losing things I hear.

Remember, I am giving you all this information due to the fact I am assured you don't work for Trey Gowdy. I love you because this talking points memo said I'm supposed to say that, even if what I really love is a three puckered goat named Harry that looks just like that wrinkled prune from Nevada.  

Awaiting to hear from you -- and not a subpoena from the House Ethics Committee -- soonest.
 
 
Whether this stops Serena Baturi from further considering my character a 'nice guy' or not is subject to future debate; I can guarantee that I'll be getting no invites to the DNC anytime soon.
 
Couldn't attend any of their functions without having my pockets picked, anyway.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

I don't think you'll ever be welcome at the DNC. You've the wrong attitude for that crowd. Good for you.

Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

24 March, 2015 10:14  

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