Sometimes They Come Back

Actually, when it comes to scammers, they always come back.

Not unlike the pouty-faced cnn reporter who can't get no respect with fake news.

Here we have a little ditty from...well, read it yourself:


DEPARTMENT OF INT'L AFFAIRS
(Office of the Under Secretary)1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington D.C. 20220.

Attention: Beneficiary,

I am Mr.Steven Terner Mnuchin, the formal partner of Goldman Sachs and hedge fund manager. I'm the newly appointed United States Secretary of the Treasury  Department and was sworn in as the 77th Secretary of the United States Department of the Treasury of the administration of President Donald Trump, and Vice President Mike Pence.

Following series of complains from Citizens of the United States as well as Citizens of Other Countries In Europe over the Discrepancies and fraudulent ways in which fund transfers are handled by Africans which has made it impossible for a lot of People to claim their Winning prize or Inheritance funds from most African Countries due to frauds and illegal activities, A decision was reached recently by the United States Treasury Department under the authority of the White House to compel African Financial bodies (Banks) to urgently release all funds of Asian, American and European citizens and other geographic continents  that are trapped in most Banks and Courier Companies in Africa. It was discovered that some bureaucratic bottlenecks was put by these Banks and Couriers to make it impossible for beneficiaries to claim their funds so that they will fraudulently divert those funds to their private accounts.

Consequent upon the aforementioned, I was personally mandated to handle this matter to ensure that all funds of our Citizens and others countries which are fraudulently being trapped in African Banks are urgently retrieved and paid to the actual Beneficiaries under a legal manner. Our team of experts were delegated to Benin Republic, Nigeria, Ivory Coast and Ghana for this task and we discovered your File NO: BR227/9005666/00 as unclaimed fund.It was discovered that officials of the
Bank has only put up illegal requirements in order to make it difficult for you to claim your fund.

The United States Department of Treasury has retrieved all Files of illegal transactions and all has been arrested for this act . however, we will be working under a legitimate arrangement to ensure that you follow the normal process to receive your fund.You are requested to Re-confirm the following information to Dr Scott Wilson.


1. YOUR NAME:
2. AGE :
3. PHONE NUMBER AND FAX:
4. ADDRESS:
5. AMOUNT TO BE CLAIMED: $5.500,000.00usd
6. DRIVER LICENSE:
7. SEX :

Be informed that the above information will only enable us to make due confirmation.  We shall ensure that normal process is followed to ensure that your fund gets to you without delay or any unwarranted fees .

Contact Dr Scott Wilson  who is in charges of paying you your trapped fund and he is right now in Benin Republic as the Legal Practitioner to United States Department of Treasury e-Mail below:

Contact Person: Dr Scott Wilson
Email:( 3537483473@qq.com )
His phone number +234-7018712911

Yours in Service
Mr.Steven T Mnuchin
(Under Secretary)  


All I had to see was "under secretary" and "international affairs" and there was no doubt where this one was headed:

From: DEPARTMENT OF BILL'S INT'L AFFAIRS <DIA.@triton.ocn.ne.jp>
Sent: Monday, August 6, 2018 6:26 PM
Subject: Genital Humidors Needed

 

DEPARTMENT OF BILL'S INT'L AFFAIRS
(Office of Bill Atop His Under Secretary)
430 DNC Dumpster Divers SE
Washington D.C. 20220.

Genital Humidors Needed

I am Mr. Anonymous, the former law partner of Hellary Rodehard Putawaywet Clinton at the unprestigious lawless firm of Rose 'n Putz Law Pardners from the capital of Toothlessness, Little Rock Arkansas.  After having survived two dozen suicide attempts that looked more like some mad woman trying to run me down with a broom and have flying monkeys try to drop houses on me, I'm the newly appointed Misdirector of the William Jackanapes Clinton DEPARTMENT OF BILL'S INT'L AFFAIRS and was sworn at by hundreds of dozen of former female intern genital humidors as a result thereof.

 Following series of complaints from Citizens Against Female Intern Humidors as well as like-minded organizations in Eurasia, Africa, South America and Canada -- but not Hollywad, incuriously enough --  we investigated thousands and thousands of examples of genitally humidored cigars and found them to be...well...peculiar.  A decision was reached recently by the Cubans to market a Bill Clinton Intern Genital Humidor branded cigar called the Viagra Horndog 42, under the authority of the Cubans Without A Choice Act of 1959, to compel the Democrapic National Crimeittee to persondate these peculiar cigars as the only cigars permitted at the 2020 Democrap Crimevention. 

 Consequent upon the aforementioned, I was personally targeted for another one of those, quote, attempted suicides, unquote, when my inflatable Nancy Pelosi sex toy imploded, covering me with the same stuff Maxine Waters has been spewing for most of her lifetime.   Fortunately I was in a tsunami-like rainstorm at the time.  What's left of our team of experts were not so lucky, as they had the inflatable Kathy Griffin anti-sex toys, which are 100% guaran-dang-teed to chill any Horndog drive, or you get a second one free, complete with audio.

We showed one to a three-peckered goat and it jumped off a cliff.  How's that for abstinence?

The United States Department of Treasury has nothing to do with any of this, but we keep hoping that frequent mentions of them will result in us getting an advertising contract.

Now we come to that point in these silly emails that causes the originating scammers to foul themselves in ecstasy if one of these actually gets filled out and returned:

1. YOUR NAME:
2. AGE :
3. PHONE NUMBER AND FAX:
4. ADDRESS:
5. TO BE CLAIMED:
6. DRIVER LICENSE:
7. SEX :

8. WITH WHAT DID YOU LAST SEX WITH:

Be informed that the above information will only enable us to use your given informations to order porn videos in your name.  We shall ensure that normal process is followed to ensure that you don't get the porn videos, just the blame of having ordered them.

Contact Dr Scott Wilson  who has no idea what any of this is about and won't have a clue what to do with your response if you send one.  He's actually at a fly-infested internet cafe in Benin Republic trying to find out who ordered burrito cheeseburgers.  You can check his progress by emailing him at:

Contact Person: Dr Scott Wilson
Email:( 3537483473@qq.com )
His phone number +234-7018712911

 

 

So yes...sometimes, reference to Bill and his cigar humidors of choice do come back.  What comes as no surprise, the scammer had nothing further to add.  No did anyone else after they heard Griffin was referenced and frightfully pictured herein...

Melania Trump Wants To Give Me Money

LOL...not really.

But the email my character received claimed to be from Melania Trump.

Might be another Russian ploy.

Ettu, Hellary?

At any rate, here's "Melania" to my character:


I am Mrs.Melania Trump and I am written to inform you about your Bank  Check Draft brought by United Embassy from the government of Benin  Republic to the white house Washington DC and has been mandated to be  deliver to your address on Monday,being,November 13th, 2017 as soon as  you get back to me with your below information.

Home address:.............................
City:...................................
Phone number.........................

You check is containing the sum of $60 million USD.
Here is my number.(206) 429-7944) you can call me or send me an sms,
but i prefer sms because I'm always busy in the white house and i cant
be able to pick calls all the time.

I will be waiting to hear from you immediately, thanks and God bless you.

Remain Blessed,
Yours faithfully
Mrs.Melania Trump  


I'm not thinking that such largess exists from POTUS or Benin.  Then again, I'm a stick in the mud cynic.  As is my character, who turns to an old theme to freshen up the 'Foist Lady' email a tadski:

From: mrs. melania trump <mrs_melania_trump@outlook.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 7, 2017 12:28 PM
Subject: Urgent Respond About Moose 'n Squirrel

 

I am Mrs. Melania Trump and you're knot.

No, I am never watched Saturn Day Knights Lite.

I am written to inform you about your knowledges about the whenaborts of

the infamous Moose 'n Squirrel that Comrades Boris and Natasha hasn't not

yet brought to borscht even with the help of Fearless Leader.

I mean, WTFski?  It's a moose 'n squirrel...not 007 and Emma Peel.

Georgely, they have more success with DNC and Wicked Witch of

Chappaqua.  Why we pay her hornyak spouse $500,000 to have

speaks about his female intern genital humidor collection and

what the definition of "is" is, this completely mistystruates me.

But I undress.

When we invade show of Moose 'n Squirrel we hijack the whaleback

machine to find a Blank Czech Draft brought by New England

Patriarchs for a 2nd round player and 3 round to be considered

in exchange for smoked oysters.  The question being here today,

who smoked the oysters and do they have as much the nicotine

and carsalesagens as cigarests?

This cause me much the lost sleeps at work.

United Douche Nozzles from the government of Benin Republic

brought you this email and remind you not to mistaken gasoline

for Listerine when you do oral care with Olga.

Why you'd do Olga is beyond Sons of Dune and any trialgies therefour, five

six or whatevergreen the number, which can't be one cause it's lonely.

It might not has to be if it hasn't used gasoline as I typecastored atrout

priorly. 

Washington DC has been mandated to be deliver to your address on

Monday, being, November 13th, 2017, as soon as possum bull, a

farter skit to remove commas from your texts.  So tell me this the

below please and spank you:

Home address:.............................

If home not wear a dress, what it wear:...............................
City where they do that:...................................
Phone number (not how manys you gots please...not looking for funny mans):.........................

Your Czech -- named John Jacob Wisenheimer Smith, which isn't not my

name too -- is impatiently waiting in a phone birth at the Prague Airport

for someone to give him the number for a good time with Olga.  It is

has been decide that you do that so tell him it's (206) 429-7944.

You can call me an sms, but if you do, it will hurts my felines and this

are not politically carwrecked, so said Simon to Schuster about the

Wicked Witch of Chappaqua and her latest book, "What Happened --

Revision 76 And Counting".

 

Personably, I licked when she blamed me because of my stiletto heels

and my inflatable sex toy sells at five gazillion times the rate of hers.

Though I know a yak farm in upstate Siberia gives her three hooves up. 

They tried four and kept falling over.

I will be waiting to hear from you immediately so I can standunder how

this email was receipted.  Thanks and God bless you if you sneezed.  If

you is atheist and sneezed, don't do it face down in borscht.

Remain seated, I'm leaving on a jet plane and not sure who next it'll

that I am again,
But this time it be
Mrs. Melania Trump and you're knot  

 

 

FLOTUS has not gotten back to my character on this.  Didn't figger that she would.  There was an animated dog knocking on my door, allegedly looking for Sherman, but meh...I just need another cup of coffee.