Sunday, January 21, 2018

Melania Trump Wants To Give Me Money

LOL...not really.

But the email my character received claimed to be from Melania Trump.

Might be another Russian ploy.

Ettu, Hellary?

At any rate, here's "Melania" to my character:

I am Mrs.Melania Trump and I am written to inform you about your Bank  Check Draft brought by United Embassy from the government of Benin  Republic to the white house Washington DC and has been mandated to be  deliver to your address on Monday,being,November 13th, 2017 as soon as  you get back to me with your below information.

Home address:.............................
Phone number.........................

You check is containing the sum of $60 million USD.
Here is my number.(206) 429-7944) you can call me or send me an sms,
but i prefer sms because I'm always busy in the white house and i cant
be able to pick calls all the time.

I will be waiting to hear from you immediately, thanks and God bless you.

Remain Blessed,
Yours faithfully
Mrs.Melania Trump  

I'm not thinking that such largess exists from POTUS or Benin.  Then again, I'm a stick in the mud cynic.  As is my character, who turns to an old theme to freshen up the 'Foist Lady' email a tadski:

From: mrs. melania trump <>
Sent: Tuesday, November 7, 2017 12:28 PM
Subject: Urgent Respond About Moose 'n Squirrel


I am Mrs. Melania Trump and you're knot.

No, I am never watched Saturn Day Knights Lite.

I am written to inform you about your knowledges about the whenaborts of
the infamous Moose 'n Squirrel that Comrades Boris and Natasha hasn't not
yet brought to borscht even with the help of Fearless Leader.

I mean, WTFski?  It's a moose 'n squirrel...not 007 and Emma Peel.

Georgely, they have more success with DNC and Wicked Witch of
Chappaqua.  Why we pay her hornyak spouse $500,000 to have
speaks about his female intern genital humidor collection and
what the definition of "is" is, this completely mistystruates me.
But I undress.

When we invade show of Moose 'n Squirrel we hijack the whaleback
machine to find a Blank Czech Draft brought by New England
Patriarchs for a 2nd round player and 3 round to be considered
in exchange for smoked oysters.  The question being here today,
who smoked the oysters and do they have as much the nicotine
and carsalesagens as cigarests?

This cause me much the lost sleeps at work.
United Douche Nozzles from the government of Benin Republic
brought you this email and remind you not to mistaken gasoline
for Listerine when you do oral care with Olga.
Why you'd do Olga is beyond Sons of Dune and any trialgies therefour, five
six or whatevergreen the number, which can't be one cause it's lonely.
It might not has to be if it hasn't used gasoline as I typecastored atrout
Washington DC has been mandated to be deliver to your address on
Monday, being, November 13th, 2017, as soon as possum bull, a
farter skit to remove commas from your texts.  So tell me this the
below please and spank you:

Home address:.............................
If home not wear a dress, what it wear:...............................
City where they do that:...................................
Phone number (not how manys you gots please...not looking for funny mans):.........................

Your Czech -- named John Jacob Wisenheimer Smith, which isn't not my
name too -- is impatiently waiting in a phone birth at the Prague Airport
for someone to give him the number for a good time with Olga.  It is
has been decide that you do that so tell him it's (206) 429-7944.

You can call me an sms, but if you do, it will hurts my felines and this
are not politically carwrecked, so said Simon to Schuster about the
Wicked Witch of Chappaqua and her latest book, "What Happened --
Revision 76 And Counting".

Personably, I licked when she blamed me because of my stiletto heels
and my inflatable sex toy sells at five gazillion times the rate of hers.

Though I know a yak farm in upstate Siberia gives her three hooves up. 
They tried four and kept falling over.
I will be waiting to hear from you immediately so I can standunder how
this email was receipted.  Thanks and God bless you if you sneezed.  If
you is atheist and sneezed, don't do it face down in borscht.

Remain seated, I'm leaving on a jet plane and not sure who next it'll
that I am again,
But this time it be
Mrs. Melania Trump and you're knot  
FLOTUS has not gotten back to my character on this.  Didn't figger that she would.  There was an animated dog knocking on my door, allegedly looking for Sherman, but meh...I just need another cup of coffee.

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