Seymour The Sexist Pet Rock

Yes, after this one, Seymour will be branded a sexist.

"Am NOT!!!"

But of course you are, Seymour; you're dissing the leading witch of the Left.

"What difference does it make now?"

None to the Left, Seymour.

"Phfffffffffffffffffffffffffft to the Left!"

You're learning, Seymour.

At any rate, Seymour saw a recent story touting HRC as a women's champion and leading candidate for president in 2016.

Assuming there's anything left to pillage after obozo's done gutting what's left of the office.

And Seymour -- the politically incorrect, fearless pet rock -- couldn't resist another of his unpatented edits, as readers will now see:

Hillary Clinton Talks Lies And Taking Over in 2016
By The Lamestream Servile Self-Wetting Leftist Mediocres


Leftist double standards in politics and media, advice for low information women like Sandra Fluke -- like whether battery-operated dildos are better than cucumbers -- and whether or not Hillary Clinton will try to complete the ruin to the USA begun by Barry Obozo by running for president in 2016 all sound like pretty typical topics for a leftist women's conference.

And it was no difference here, in New York, as a lamestream servile mediocre interviewed Clinton and a French lefty about how the Left hopes to fool the voters long enough to complete the ruin of the USA.

When asked whether female politicians experience public life differently than men, Clinton made up a story like her “under fire in Bosnia, Serbia, wherever-the-hellnia” one, and like the one she made up about trying to join the USMC – like a flaming feminazi leftist would ever have honestly tried that. Indeed, Clinton grew more audibly flatulent and full of crap as she went on, even uttering “what difference does it make now?” which she made infamous after Benghazi, before she went into her “I don't recall” mode that she's used to cover up her lies so often.

When asked about the leftist double standard on the “war on women”, Clinton smirked and responded “despite the setback that the silly trollop Sandra Fluke caused us, the fact remains that as long as we have our servile media covering us for this 'war on women' sham that the conservatives really aren't waging, we can pretty much lie about that and anything else we want. We know we have to lie to get and consolidate power in the USA, and once we have it, to parrot the words of Joseph Goebbels, “we'll never give it up”. We will use the Constitution to wipe our asses, and make a country based on the proletariat like that of the old Soviet Union, except in this case I get to be Joseph Stalin”. 

 


The French lefty added, “During board meetings with gray suits, when I speak about getting the same freebies for European women that the slut Fluke demanded – and may I say, what a dog she is – I see them wince. They know who controls 80% of the money and 100% of the pussy”

The women also had advice for budding feminazis battling conservatives like Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin. “It's all in how we have our servile mediocres portray them, over and over and over. Make them the dumbed down, ignorant idiots that we ourselves have been creating with the cancerous educational substandards we've created like Commie Core – I know you mediocres know to sanitize that so I can deny having called it that – and we'll eventually sweep them aside.  Women like Debbie Wasserputz Schlitz will be the new face of feminist America”. 

 

The French lefty was equally as blunt: “You know Pajama Boy in the Obamacare ad? That's my totally servile husband. The left raises their men to be servile, simpering “Yes Ma'am” types. Chivalry is to be crushed like a bug, and replaced with totally subjugated men, run by the women. This is something I taught my sons. Well one of them...the other I convinced to have a sex change so 'she' can be stronger.

And, of course, the question of the evening — will Clinton run for president in 2016? — could not go unasked. “Secretary, is there any job you would be interested in?” Friedperson asked.

As the crowd silenced to a single cricket chirp, Clinton answered, “You'd better do better than that! I'll have the NSA and IRS at my fingertips, and I won't be afraid to abuse either!”

That got a couple of feeble claps around the room.

Yeah, Seymour, the left will be warming up for you on this one.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!"

You heard from the pet rock here first   ;-)

Another Pet Rock Edit

My pet rock, Seymour, takes offense when he reads that the current ePa -- using flawed science and statistics for personal gain by such losers as AlGore -- claims to know what the world needs.

Seymour suggests the world needs an end to the ePa.

Well, at least an ePa run by such a corrupt regime as we currently have.

Seymour came across the story that the Oblahblah regime -- yes, that's what my pet rock calls them these days -- what with all the problems domestically and in the world today, was going to target cow farts for reduction.

That set off a *TOING* for Seymour that called for his editing skills in parodious response:

Oblahblah's ePa Takes On Cow Farts To Avoid Harder Targets

As part of its plan to distract and cover up their stumbling and fumbling in ruining the government since '09, the Oblahblah regime is targeting the dairy industry to further reduce their credibility in the world.

This comes despite falling methane emission levels across the economy since 1990 and continual evidence of gross incompetence throughout the Oblahblah regime.

Morons in the Oblahblah regime propose cutting methane emissions from the dairy industry by 25 percent by 2020, a discredited cbs TV show. Although U.S. agriculture only accounts for about 9 percent of the ePa's made up statistics on greenhouse gas emissions, the ePa needs to go after a soft target, because taking on the real emission problems – the BS out of the Oblahblah regime – would get them branded as 'racist'.

“Cows emit a massive amount of methane through belching, with a lesser amount through flatulence,” according to Jay Carney, an expert on the subject of flatulence. “Statistics vary regarding how much methane the average dairy cow expels. Some experts say 100 liters to 200 liters a day… while others say it’s up to 500 liters… a day. In any case, that’s a lot of methane, though not as much as the DNC generates on a daily basis.”

Carney demanded that lamestream servile mediocre outlets scrub that last sentence from their talking points, which pmsnbc and cnn practically wet themselves to do immediately.

“Of all domestic types including undocumented democrats, beef and dairy cattle were by far the largest and easiest targets to go after since they can't vote”, noted the DNC before sanitizing the statement for release to the lamestream servile mediocres..

Granted, the Oblahblah regime would like others to believe that they're going after cow flatulence with the same sense of urgency that they're claiming to have on the US economy, their staggeringly inept hellthscare, and world problems like how to prevent the Russians from threatening Uranus.

Environmentalists have been pushing the Oblahblah regime to crack down on methane emissions for some time, until they realized how much methane was generated by the DNC and Oblahblah regime alone. That's when they began urging Oblahblah's ePa to go after cow farts, instead.

“Oblahblah's plan to reduce his credibility is an important step in making George W. Bush blameable for everything wrong today” Deborah Nardone, drivel director for the Sierra Club’s Keeping Dirty Leftist Lies Alive campaign. “However, even with the most rigorously dishonest controls and stifling of critics in place, we will still fall short of what is needed to fight the truth if we do not reduce the number of conservatives in government.”

“The ePa has been on a witch hunt against the American economy and American people all this time” said an anonymous source within the RNC. “All too often we see the Agency using flawed science for political purposes, but this witch hunt has had some of the biggest witches in history – Hillary, Pelosi, Feinstein, Jackson-Lee, et al – right under their noses with not one spell reversed”.  

 

 

Reaction to that last part of the edit was sought from the office of the former flotus and suckretary of state, with only this in response:

Truth hurts, eh Hill?