The Mooch 'n Me

In late December, three of my scambaiting accounts received an email from....*drum roll*.....the Mooch.

Moochelle Obola.

Two of my characters responded.  One of them edited the email before responding.

One character -- my pet rock, Seymour -- wound up most likely on  a no-fly list, which Seymour is fine with.  He hates flies.

The character that edited the email -- he shall for now remain nameless -- has yet to draw a reply from 'The Mooch' or the fifty plus scammers that received the edit.

Including the DNC.  Some of the biggest scams in history originate there.

But my other character -- after his fauxrespectful reply -- did receive a response from 'The Mooch' that suggests she/he/it didn't read the reply and "understand well the contents".

Here's the exchange to date, starting with an abbreviated start from 'The Mooch':


FROM MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA, LAST NOTICE

How are you today?

I am Mrs. Michelle Obama and I am written to inform you about your
Bank Cheque Draft brought by the United Embassy from the government of
Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC which contains the sum
of $22.000.000 millions us dollars credited from the bank of America,
the delivery of your funds has been mandated to be deliver to your
address on THURSDAY being 17th of dec, 2015 to you as soon as you get
back to me with your home address and your cell phone number.

Bear in mind that I have taking my time to be in charge of your funds
as instructed by my husband to ensure that you received your funds
successfully from the white house to reduce the economy and I’m the
only one that has your funds in regard to my husband Mr. Barack
Hussein Obama II and you will have to pay the sum of $550.00 only
before your Bank Cheque Draft will deliver to you on THUESDAY the
reason why the fee is required is to have your funds clearance paper
from the origin of the funds to avoid any harassment from the
authority and you are also expecting to be announce as winner of the
said amount by THURSDAY  as soon as your fund is delivered to you.

So you are urgent advised to get back to me with your home address
and also the payment information today for immediate effect of your
delivery. Note that the $550 is the only fee and final payment you
have my assurance.  


My character wondered whether or not this reply was too snarky to go to a fauxflotus of dubious antecedence:

Well...a letter from none other than THE fauxst lady, Moochelle.  I am truly horrored by such a high profile beeyotch writing to me from Benin.  And here I thought you were squandering millions of US tax dollars in Hawaii.

Eh...you probably are but I digress.

Is there something that you mistakenly imagine that I can do for you?  

Whoever is portraying 'The Mooch' on the other end here, is either not interested in what a response says, ONLY that someone responded....or is leftist dumbed down educated:


so what is still holding you up to send the needed fee dear you have delayed a lot so what is going on?  


I reckon my character will clarify now "what is going on":

What is holding me up?  Well:

1.  Weather

2.  Gravity

3.  Traffic

4.  Availability of the demanded funds

5.  Painful rectal itch

6.  A suspicion that you're full of sh*t

7.  I didn't vote for your wife, Barack, anyway. 

So that's the hold up.  What's your remedy?  

 

Apparently the 'Mooch' didn't have a remedy to that response....
 

 

A Confession?

This morning comes an email scam letter.

From Moochelle.

Yeah....THAT Moochelle.

While she vacations...in Benin?

Eh...as she says, it ain't her money.

Here's the scam:

 

On Wednesday, December 16, 2015 9:36 PM, MRS.MICHELLE OBAMA <OBAMA.@tea.ocn.ne.jp> wrote:

mrs.michelle.Obama@Hotmail.com

FROM MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA, LAST NOTICE

How are you today?

I am Mrs. Michelle Obama and I am written to inform you about your
Bank Cheque Draft brought by the United Embassy from the government of
Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC which contains the sum
of $22.000.000 millions us dollars credited from the bank of America,
the delivery of your funds has been mandated to be deliver to your
address on THURSDAY being 17th of dec, 2015 to you as soon as you get
back to me with your home address and your cell phone number.

Bear in mind that I have taking my time to be in charge of your funds
as instructed by my husband to ensure that you received your funds
successfully from the white house to reduce the economy and I’m the
only one that has your funds in regard to my husband Mr. Barack
Hussein Obama II and you will have to pay the sum of $550.00 only
before your Bank Cheque Draft will deliver to you on THUESDAY the
reason why the fee is required is to have your funds clearance paper
from the origin of the funds to avoid any harassment from the
authority and you are also expecting to be announce as winner of the
said amount by THURSDAY  as soon as your fund is delivered to you.

So you are urgent advised to get back to me with your home address
and also the payment information today for immediate effect of your
delivery. Note that the $550 is the only fee and final payment you
have my assurance.

However, according to our agreement with the originated Benin
Republic, all our communications should be on email for record purpose
so follow my instruction accordingly, even if you don’t have the $550
try to borrow it and send it immediately because this is your life
opportunity and I don’t want you to lose the chance any more.

Please I will advice you to urgent make the payment this morning via
western union or money gram money transfer to the listed cashier
information as instructed you by the originated authority. I will look
forward to received your email today with the payment to enable the
origin secure the required clearance papers required at White House
Benin to deliver your funds. Note that it will take only 14hrs to
deliver your Bank Cheque Draft in receipt of the $550 payment.

Please find the payment data below to send the $550via western union
or money gram.

Receiver Name: EMMANUEL UBA

Country Benin Republic

City Cotonou

Question: Urgent

Answer: Needed

Amount: $550.00

MTCN reference number............

Sender Name...........

Sender's Telephone……

Sender's Address........

I look forward to your respond to your email with the payment today.

Regards

Mrs. Michelle Obama

The White House

(Official Residence of the President of the US)

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington DC 20500 USA  

 

 

We always suspected...now we know. 

 

Since my pet rock isn't a registered voter, I let him have the honor of the reply:  


Yo, Mooch:

Sorry to have to tell you, but I'm not interested in helping your slovenly self or your pithy friends in Benin.  I only help the geologically disadvantaged.  Thus, I would help a lump of coal before I'd help your sorry ass or those of what you consider to be friends.  And that goes for your wife, too.

Seymour PetRock

It would amuse me to learn that Seymour is now added to the "no fly list".  He never could.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!!"