Skunkfeathers: ET Needs To Learn Crummy Core BEFORE Phoning Home

If there's anything about science that is settled, it's that Hank Johnson's fear of Guam tipping over is hellary meadow muffins.

Like the rest of science that the demoncraps consider to be 'settled' and is anything but.

Soon as democrap edubrats go out and create a new "standard" for mathematics and other things called Crummy Core -- and try to force feed it to the American education system -- science finds cause to regret the change.

Mathematical radio signals from deep space. Signals that may not be from quasars, stars or other sources of cosmic noise.

Mathematical radio signals that might just be from....ET.

While this graphic might explain why ET has a long neck, it fails to explain what ET is mathematically telling us...if it's him.

Because he's not broadcasting in Crummy Core format.

Here's what scientists have to say about this current investigation, as told to you by Seymour PetRock:

Strange bursts of audio waves from Marie Barf have a pattern that can't be explained by known phenomenon.If aliens try to contact us with mathematical radio waves from deep space, it better use Crummy Core methods or it will baffle scientists.

By Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS

Are we being contacted by ET?

Astronomers and scientists aren't sure, because the mathematical communications coming in as deep space radio waves are not using Crummy Core formulas. But they suspect that the waves could be being produced by some kind of technology – alien technology.

BUT...our current inability to decipher them is the problem.

Why can't our finest scientists and most advanced computers determine a reasonable answer? The signals being received from whomever or whatever is sending them, is not sending them in the required Crummy Core format. And today's leftist controlled dumbed down edubrats find this rather mind-blowing, if not downright frightening. 'Cuz they're not controlling it.

Fart radio bursts

The signals have been given a name: fart radio bursts, or FRBs. They last just a few milliseconds to several seconds, and when audiblized, sound just like a whoopie cushion.

But it isn't the sound of the bursts that upsets scientists; it's the fact that whatever or whoever is sending these mathematical radio waves out, is NOT adhering to Crummy Core substandards. And that makes them unfathomable to Crummy Core adherents. Scientists also can't agree on the settled science of whether or not aliens have genitals; but they seem to agree that the signals come from very far away, possibly another galaxy entirely.

Or at least as far away as prankster hackers in Liechtenstein.

All of the bursts detected so far have dispersion measures that, when played for cows packed in an elevator, trigger reactions similar to humans in a packed elevator when someone farts. That's the mathematical regularity that is hard to shake off, even if the source is ignorant of the need to use Crummy Core substandards to communicate with Earth.

"If the pattern of mathematical farts is real, it is very, very hard to explain until or unless the originating source adopts Crummy Core formulas," said John Unlearned, an Occutard at the University of Hawaii in Manoa who once analyzed pickled pigs feet and found the face of Debbie Wasserpuss Schultz in one.

Other possibilities

There are a few known cosmic objects capable of reflecting back to Earth old radio and video signals radiated from Earth since both technologies came into being. That would explain why an observatory in Australia began receiving images of The Gong Show from the Andromeda Galaxy in 2005.

It's also possible that the signals are coming from something human, such as a hoax being perpetrated by the South Park creators, for use in a future episode. Since the bastards no longer kill Kenny for the most part, they needed a new schtick, and deep space is a great place to get one from, especially if it's the deep space between Cartman's ears.

Human sources can be difficult to rule out, when and if certain forms alleged to be human can be conclusively proved to be, which is not possible so far with Hellary Clinton.

The E.T. theory

If the radio bursts do turn out to be beacons from extraterrestrials, which is a possibility that can't be ruled out, then there are some exciting but scary scenarios to consider. The one from “Mars Attacks!” is one. In other words, any face-to-face encounter with an alien civilization may not end well for us, if they turn out to be assholes like the Syrian *refugees*.

Ultimately, scientists will need to send more Crummy Core training manuals out into very deep space so that alien contacts will know how they can't expect to effectively communicate with us, especially attempting to use abject crap like Crummy Core.

"There is something really interesting we need to understand: purple waffle hatted aliens that don't communicate in Crummy Core. This will be like trying to explain to Hank Johnson why Guam isn't likely to tip over," said Jen Psuki of the Instipoot for Subspace Radio Data Fart Analysis in Neukirchen-Vluyn, Germany. "When you set out to search for something new you might find one of your missing socks or something."