He Knows If You've Been Bad...

I just knowd I'd saved this card for more than 20 years, for a reason.

As some of you may know, I let my pet rock, Seymour, take on a scammer that sent an offer to his email address. Vic(toria) Seaman, an alleged Darfur refugee, whose assasinated Pa had, afore he wuz kilt, put away $6.5 million USD for Vic(toria) in a Swiss bank for her. BUT -- don't you just hate the "BUT" when it crops into something that sounds too good to be true -- it was set up so that Vic(toria) Seaman couldn't access the cash without first enlisting the help of a foreigner "of good repute".

And that was where Seymour came in, of quartz...*ducking boos and throwd geodes*.

Granite *ducking agin*, Seymour's kinda new at this kinda thing. And they threw a full ensemble at him: Vic(toria) Seaman, refugee; Rev. John Leeds, Darfur refugee camp manager; Ms. Patty Cakes (really), Swiss banker; Dumu Iroko, bannister-at-law, Senegal; and later, Carmi Bebo, bannister-at-law, Senegal. But with a wee bit of my help now and then, Seymour managed to confuse the snarf out of Vic(toria) Seaman; get cursed by Rev. Leeds; piss off Ms Cakes; and get Iroko fired, resulting in Carmi Bebo being retained as legal counsel.

The emails are long and tortured, and Seymour's in enough trouble with his wind chime spouse, Windy, who doesn't know how scambaits work, and saw that Vic(toria) was referring to Seymour as her "future huband". More on that anuddah time.

At any rate, I'm not transcribing the whole scambait herein, especially since it's still ongoing; it'd take too long and be too tedious, between the moments of pure mirth. BUT -- do you sense a theme here? -- I did want to let you know, as well as Seymour, who's gonna get blamed for it, what I dun.

Since the second bannister gave me an address...and I had this Xmas card that I've held onto for over 20 years...well...*TOING*...even if the address given ain't legit...well...I printed a copy of it, and overseas airmailed it to Bebo. On behalf of all of them.

Yeah, I know: odds are, none of them will ever see it. Yeah, I know: I just wasted a few bucks (less than $4) to do that. Yeah, I know: it ain't Xmas time quite yet.

BUT -- you hadda know that was coming -- I just couldn't resist.

And best of all? They'll all think it came from Seymour.

"Did NOT!"

BUT they won't know that. Granite *ducking agin*, Santa will; BUT if anyone rates as 'bad' in his book....well....y'know. They'd all be wise to cover their chimneys, iffen they got 'em, a month and a half from now.