Another Airhead Wants To Be Bidumb Sniffed

Taylor Swift has been lately unsatisfied just making her hundreds of millions by singing songs about her dating life.

Now she wants to be taken seriously as a political common-tater.

She proves it by coming out against Trump and endorsing the Groper and the Ho in 2020.

My pet rock, Seymour, was terribly disillusioned.  He thought she was kinda stupid but a lot of fun.

Now that she's gone leftturd, even Seymour has lost interest.

But not in his passion for edits:

Rocket Scientist Taylor Not-So-Swift Announces Plans to Get Sniffed by Joe Bidumb

by Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS

Well, another single-digit IQ'd celebrity has taken the Bidumb Sniff challenge:  Taylor Not-So-Swift has endorsed a bed pan for President in 2020.

Well okay, not exactly:  but endorsing Joe Bidumb is not far from the same thing.

Not that Taylor minds:  she rehearses orgasms on door knobs.

Speaking with the promise of animosity because she was using the same teleprompter that Bidumb frequents, not-so-Swift spoke to Nincompoop Magazine and gave her reasons for her choice of next break-up song:

I spoke to @Nincompoopmagazine about why I'll be voting for Joe Bidumb for president," she crayon'd on social media. "So apt that it's come out on the night that I announce I am an octosexual orthopod so I can date and break up with one and write a song about it. And I also have custom cookies showing me as an octosexual orthopod so I can explain it to my therapist." 

The former music icon is one of 12 public blithering idiots featured on the covers of the issue, which draws attention to the continued dumbing down of Hollywad and Masheville musicians, political figures, actors and others who are ushering in the future of proving why they should stick to acting and singing, leaving social and cultural activism to cat memes, Sheeple Magazine reports.

 WTF Magazine shared a link to what appears to be a preview of Not-So-Swift's interview and her cover on TwitWaffle. The magazine also tweeted the profiles and covers of the other cover stars, including SpongeBlob Square Plants, Alyssa Morono and a leaking, squeaking life-sized Hellary sex toy. 

"The change we need most is to elect a serial groper who recognizes sniffable hair when he sees it, that is a pedophile of dubious antecedence, and partners with a race shifter who's never told the truth in her life; only then can men be women, women be platypus, Greta Thunberg be a toaster, and that the WTFRPGOMG+ community deserves to be acknowledged and included in upcoming episodes of South Park,"not-so-Swift stressed in the piece.

She also stressed the importance of "a doddering collection of bloated democraps that takes global health risks and uses them to further division, fear, hate and excuses that lead high school music teachers to play a ukulele and scream." Amazingly, not-so-Swift continued, "the only way we can begin to make things better is to choose a party of malignant marxists who are willing to say any lie necessary to get elected."

Taking a page from the Bidumb playbook, not-so-Swift added that she will vote for the late Pat Paulsen. "Under his leadership, I believe America has a chance to start the process of healing dead people world-wide," not-so-Swift said with a straight face, according to the magazine. 

No teleprompter malfunction was harmed during the interview, according to Chris Wallace.

 Bidumb was reached for comment -- to the horror of his crimepaign staph -- and had this to say:  "I am embalmed that Taylor Made has endorphin's my candyassy for the sedate of that, y'know, the thing".

Wallace and cnn were quick to blame COVID, Trump and William Shatner's rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, for causing that teleprompting.

For this one time, Seymour doesn't care about an award.  I promised him a pizza.

A Tampon Full of Army Ants?

I sorta kinda think I can understand Katie's reaction to that one.

West African scammers are oft-times a hoot.  They're far easier to mess with than they're convinced that we are.

Here's an example:

Hello Dear,

I am Sandrine Djetou. from Ivory Coast and I am contacting you because I need your help in the management of a sum of money that my dead father left for me before he died.This money is Five Million, Seven Hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$5,700,000.00)Dollars and the money is in a bank here in Abidjan the capital city.

My father was highly reputable business magnet (cocoa farmer) and he was poisoned by his business colleagues and now I want you to stand as my guardian and appointed beneficiary and receive the money in your country since I am only 21 years and without mother or father.Please I have suffered a lot of humiliation from my immediate uncles due to this funds that is the reason I contact you to help me secure the money in your country so that I can come over and continue my education from were I stopped.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 20% for your kind assistance to me after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas. Please I will like you to reply me so that I will tell you all the information so that this money will be transferred to you.

I am waiting for your urgent reply, Immediately I confirm you are willing to help me in earnest, I will furnish you with more details involved in this project.

Reply to my e-mail box below:

 

sdjetous@gmail.com 

Thanks.

Love from Sandrine Djetou.  

 

 

My 'editing-gone-wild' pet rocks Seymour and Element, saw in this a joint editing effort.  I saw a potential episode of South Park.  Somehow, they managed to work that in too:

 

 

From: Sandrine jimjill53@daum.net

Sent: Tuesday, November 26, 2019 11:01 AM
To: jimjill53@daum.net <jimjill53@daum.net>
Subject: Hi de hi de hi de hiiii, hi de hi de hi de moooo 

 Hello Skanks, I am Sandrine Djetou. I am provisionally from Ivory Coast though my dubious antecedence may actually be from Somalia, working as pirates in the Gulf of Aden, getting blowd to sh*t by assorted Navies out that way.    I am not contacting you on my behalf, but on behalf of a friend.  This friend -- a sack of inert compost if ever there was one -- needs your help in pulling off an online scam involving alleged money that my dead father left for me before he died at my friend's house, with a crudely adjusted will with penciled-in changes making my friend the beneficerary.  Honestly I don't see what this friend hoped to accomplish, since the money is only 500 West African francs, or the equivalent of about a quarter in US money.  At any rate, this mythical account is ensconced in what passes for a bank here in Abidjan the capital city.  My father was a low life "who's yo daddy" type who was Eunuched during one of his so-called "business propositions" at the Lamp Lighter Motel in Abidjan.  Stunned at being rendered genital-less, he wandered into the path of an onyx cart full of compost bound for Benin and was permanently embedded in the wheel tracks.  So now my friend wants you to stand as her "daddy" and appointed beneficerary and receive the pittance...er...money in your country since she is under 21 years and without integrity, ethics and credibility.  In short, she's a democrap working at cnn.   Please I have suffered a lot of humiliation from my friend over this so I hope you will accept to involve yourself, only to screw her over in the execution of this scheme.  Unless she uses one of the tampons I gave her first; it's packed with army ants.  That might get me the same satisfaction.  Moreover, I am willing to offer you 20% of nothing for your kind assistance to me.  After all, what good is 20% of a quarter in your country's money?  The days of "got a nickel? Suck my pickle.  Whip it out" are long gone along with five cent White Owl cigars.  Though if you insist on something, I'll promise you an autogiraffed picture of Taylor Swift screaming at a tree stump to protest Trump, if you are a democrap.  Please I will like you to reply me so that I will tell all my internet cafe friends that you're an easy mark so that all their scam templates will be shortly flooding your email address too.  I am waiting for your urgent reply, Immediately I confirm you are willing to help me by "helping" my friend, I will furnish you with more details involved in this soon-to-be-an-episode-on South Park..  Reply to my e-mail box below:   sdjetous@gmail.com  Thanks. Sandrine Djetou. Chairgender-neutral of the Ivory Coast "Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" Fan Club   While I am not the least bit surprised that their collective edit was met by Scam Land *crickets*, Seymour and Element were truly disappointed that they didn't get one reply.   They were trying to figure out how to come up with that autogiraffed picture of Taylor...