A Tampon Full of Army Ants?

I sorta kinda think I can understand Katie's reaction to that one.

West African scammers are oft-times a hoot.  They're far easier to mess with than they're convinced that we are.

Here's an example:

Hello Dear,

I am Sandrine Djetou. from Ivory Coast and I am contacting you because I need your help in the management of a sum of money that my dead father left for me before he died.This money is Five Million, Seven Hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$5,700,000.00)Dollars and the money is in a bank here in Abidjan the capital city.

My father was highly reputable business magnet (cocoa farmer) and he was poisoned by his business colleagues and now I want you to stand as my guardian and appointed beneficiary and receive the money in your country since I am only 21 years and without mother or father.Please I have suffered a lot of humiliation from my immediate uncles due to this funds that is the reason I contact you to help me secure the money in your country so that I can come over and continue my education from were I stopped.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 20% for your kind assistance to me after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas. Please I will like you to reply me so that I will tell you all the information so that this money will be transferred to you.

I am waiting for your urgent reply, Immediately I confirm you are willing to help me in earnest, I will furnish you with more details involved in this project.

Reply to my e-mail box below:

 

sdjetous@gmail.com 

Thanks.

Love from Sandrine Djetou.  

 

 

My 'editing-gone-wild' pet rocks Seymour and Element, saw in this a joint editing effort.  I saw a potential episode of South Park.  Somehow, they managed to work that in too:

 

 

From: Sandrine jimjill53@daum.net

Sent: Tuesday, November 26, 2019 11:01 AM
To: jimjill53@daum.net <jimjill53@daum.net>
Subject: Hi de hi de hi de hiiii, hi de hi de hi de moooo 

 Hello Skanks, I am Sandrine Djetou. I am provisionally from Ivory Coast though my dubious antecedence may actually be from Somalia, working as pirates in the Gulf of Aden, getting blowd to sh*t by assorted Navies out that way.    I am not contacting you on my behalf, but on behalf of a friend.  This friend -- a sack of inert compost if ever there was one -- needs your help in pulling off an online scam involving alleged money that my dead father left for me before he died at my friend's house, with a crudely adjusted will with penciled-in changes making my friend the beneficerary.  Honestly I don't see what this friend hoped to accomplish, since the money is only 500 West African francs, or the equivalent of about a quarter in US money.  At any rate, this mythical account is ensconced in what passes for a bank here in Abidjan the capital city.  My father was a low life "who's yo daddy" type who was Eunuched during one of his so-called "business propositions" at the Lamp Lighter Motel in Abidjan.  Stunned at being rendered genital-less, he wandered into the path of an onyx cart full of compost bound for Benin and was permanently embedded in the wheel tracks.  So now my friend wants you to stand as her "daddy" and appointed beneficerary and receive the pittance...er...money in your country since she is under 21 years and without integrity, ethics and credibility.  In short, she's a democrap working at cnn.   Please I have suffered a lot of humiliation from my friend over this so I hope you will accept to involve yourself, only to screw her over in the execution of this scheme.  Unless she uses one of the tampons I gave her first; it's packed with army ants.  That might get me the same satisfaction.  Moreover, I am willing to offer you 20% of nothing for your kind assistance to me.  After all, what good is 20% of a quarter in your country's money?  The days of "got a nickel? Suck my pickle.  Whip it out" are long gone along with five cent White Owl cigars.  Though if you insist on something, I'll promise you an autogiraffed picture of Taylor Swift screaming at a tree stump to protest Trump, if you are a democrap.  Please I will like you to reply me so that I will tell all my internet cafe friends that you're an easy mark so that all their scam templates will be shortly flooding your email address too.  I am waiting for your urgent reply, Immediately I confirm you are willing to help me by "helping" my friend, I will furnish you with more details involved in this soon-to-be-an-episode-on South Park..  Reply to my e-mail box below:   sdjetous@gmail.com  Thanks. Sandrine Djetou. Chairgender-neutral of the Ivory Coast "Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" Fan Club   While I am not the least bit surprised that their collective edit was met by Scam Land *crickets*, Seymour and Element were truly disappointed that they didn't get one reply.   They were trying to figure out how to come up with that autogiraffed picture of Taylor...