A Little Moron Postal Scams

Who doesn't know about the US Postal Service?

Apparently, some scammers don't seem to.

But they think they do:


United State Postal Service
Post Office
421 8TH AVE
NEW YORK, NY 10001-9998

Attention Beneficiary.

This is POST OFFICE Courier Delivery Company of United State Of America,The management of this company, wishes to inform you that, we received a parcel containing an ATM  Master Card valued $10.5 million USD with some vital documents attached on it, for safety delivery to your home address in your country, within' the next 48 hrs  as soon as we hear back from you. This is (payment office ) I am directed to inform you that Your payment verification and confirmations is OK.

This parcel was brought to us this morning by the ATM Card payment office/United Nation(U.N) as your inheritance approved fund to be delivered  to your residential home address without any delay, so kindly reconfirm the below information, to avoid delivery your ATM Master Card to a wrong hand.

Full names..............
Parcel owner address...........
Tel...............

Scan Copy of Your International Passport Or Driver's License. We will register your package and send you the tracking numbers before we proceed for safety  delivery of your package as soon as you reconfirm the required information's for safety delivery, POST OFFICE is one of the world's great success stories,  the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we've grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as POST OFFICE that's bigger, stronger, better than ever.

Waiting to read your e-mail on this Email ID Which is : (unitedstatepostalservice126@yahoo.com) for immediate delivery of your long awaited fund.

Yours  affectionately.
Mr Jerry Allen  


"Yours affectionately"?


Oooooooookayyyyyy.


Well...in this edit, the USPS has competition.  And it annoys them:

From: From United States Postal Soivice...Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk..*BONK* <waynedonald1994@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2018 6:54 AM
Subject: From United States Postal Soivice...Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk..*BONK*

 

United State Postal Soivice

Office of Postals 'n Stuff
421 Lost Parcels Boulevard AVE
NEW YORK, NY 10001-9998

Attention:

This is POST OFFICE Courier Delivery Company of United State Of America, the From United States Postal Soivice...Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk..*BONK*.  The mismanagement of this company, wishes to inform you that, we received a parcel containing an ATM  Master Card valued $10.5 million USD with some vital documents attached on it, from a pterodactyl courier from Jurassic Air Services.  At present, we cannot take possession of the ATM card from the courier, because we don't have a sheep to throw to it in exchange for the delivery he brung.  It's all very disconcerting, having one of our clerks eaten because he didn't throw the pterodactyl a sheep first before trying to receive the parcel.  Frankly, we're appalled at how Jurassic Air Services operate.

 

For safety delivery to your home address in your country, within' the next 48 hrs  as soon as we hear back from you, we recommend that you have a sheep or goat tethered outside your front door. This is apparently necessary to both show the pterodactyl where to deliver your ATM card and let it know you'll take care of it in exchange for the delivery.

Of course, you'll still need to pay us for our part in the delivery, even if we're having very little to do with the delivery, since we don't have a sheep and the pterodactyl just ate a Yugo along with two of our clerks. You really need to make sure that you have that sheep ready when he arrives. 

So kindly reconfirm the below information, to avoid delivery your ATM Master Card costing you yourself or any parts attached thereto.

Full names..............
Parcel owner address...........
Tel...............

After we show the pterodactyl your confirmed address and he heads your way, we will register your package and send you the tracking numbers. POST OFFICE was at one time one of the world's great success stories,  until shit like Jurassic Air Services came along.  And wait until Amazon starts up with those aerial bots that deliver stuff....first time they confuse one of those with a military payload, your neighborhood may never look the same.

You'll need more than a sheep for that.

In the past 30 years, we've watched mail and parcel delivery services go to bloody hell in a hand basket, and now we have competitors like Jurassic Air and Amazon, eating and bombing the customers accordingly. 

You people really should have put up with all that junk mail we delivered.  It never ate you.

Waiting to read your e-mail on this Email ID Which is : (unitedstatepostalservice126@yahoo.com) for how all this shit's going to play out.

Have that sheep ready.
Mr Jerry Allen    

 

 

I was surprised that I heard nothing further from this version of the USPS.

 

Mebbe they didn't put a sheep out when the pterodactyl arrived...

 

 

 

 

Moron Jurassic Air

When a scammer wants to affirm authenticity, he always turns to recognized companies and forms of transport.

Like this one tried:

WELLCOME TO THE UPS EXPRESSES COURIER SERVICE:

 

DEAR CUSTOMER, THANKS FOR USING OURCOURIER SERVICE: your  ATM Card package is officially registered with our UPS COURIER SERVICE  for immediate convening to your destination, please open the attached fill /view  your ATM Card package preparing, the delivery charges already paid by U.N treasury accept the insurance fee & the security keeping fee of $95 dollars which you have to sent to the UPS treasury staff office with the below receiving information to enable the UPS Delivering chief security officer sign & stamp your package for delivery, make the payment with the below information’s through western union or money-ram transfer office of your choice there in your country,

 

The payment slip & information’s should be forwarded to us once the payment is done for our office record file keeping,

 

Receiver Name: CELEB ONAH EDE

Country BURKINA FASO

City- OUAGADOUGOU

Question……….. My

[Answer……… own

Send Name and MTCN............?

Amount $95 DOLLARS

 

You are hereby given 5 working days to make the payment as to avoid counting demurrage, accord into the law OF UPS Delivering company world wide, We shall proceed for the delivery as soon as we confirm the required payment from you, your registration tracking details will be send to you, make sure that you transfer the fee today or tomorrow morning to allow us proceed on your service as soon as possible.

 

Best Regard.

Mr.Zongo Damnai

Director UPS EXPRESS COURIER SERVICE

Email Address: mr.zongodamani66@gmail.com  

 

 

So my character has five days to ship out $95 to some yutz in Burkina Fatso or the deal is off, eh?  Well, I could simply wait out the five days and leave it at that.  But that ain't my way.

 

So I respond thus, affirming to the scammer that here, I only use one form of air courier service:

 

I don't use UPS.  I use Jurassic Air exclusively.  You want something delivered?  You will have to get on Jurassic Air's shipping list.  

Jurassic Air:  when it absolutely positively can get lost or eaten overnight.

 

 

The scammer actually replied to this as follows:

 

you are having jest with me?  

 

No jest.  When Jurassic Air delivers, throw it a sheep and you'll get your delivery.  Don't have a sheep handy and still want your delivery?  Be prepared to offer up a healthy portion of  Jurassic hors d'oeuvre...or become one.

 

Suddenly, Mr. Zongo seemed to have lost his thirst for my $95...