A Pet Rock's View Of College Cupcakes

Yes, my pet rock, Seymour, has done DC.  Courtesy of his awesome friend and host, Lynn Abbott.

No, my pet rock did NOT vote on November 8, 2016.  As a mineral, he's not eligible to vote and he respects the process.

Besides, he's not a democrat.  Even dead cartoon characters can register and vote in that party.

My pet rock has become amused at some of the protests around the country by, in a lot of cases, college "cupcakes" who are totally blown away that their criminal queen Hellary didn't win what was supposed to have been her "deserved" coronation.

I seem to remember that she was supposed to have been "Inevitable Hellary" and have a coronation in '08, too...and no one (other than her) lost their cookies over it not happening.

Guess George Soros wasn't going to pay college cupcakes money to protest his other puppet.

At any rate, Seymour came upon an article about a bill being introduced by an Iowa representative that goes after colleges potentially using tax payer money to foment leftist unrest and doing George Soros' work for him.

Seymour thought it -- the article -- in need of some reality, so he gave it some:

It's a pathetic day that such a bill has to even be introduced. Then again, it's already a sad day that alleged young adults make it possibly necessary. Iowa Rep. Bobby Kaufmann probably considers it both.

According to this, Rep. Kaufmann has felt it necessary to introduce a bill meant to target colleges and universities that spend taxpayer dollars on 'trigger events' like elections, and waste those dollars – meant for education – on stupid crap like safe zones, cry-ins, as well as grief counseling for students who can’t handle the most inane of things like their candidate losing. The bill also calls for criminal charges for idiots that block highways because their widdow feewings are hurt.

I doubt this will help but for those who grew up getting participation awards:

The bill has been nicknamed the “Suck It Up, Buttercup” bill. Rep. Kaufman sums it up thus:

“I’ve seen four or five schools in other states that are establishing ‘cry zones’ where they’re staffed by state grief counselors and kids can come cry out their sensitivity to the election results,” said Rep. Bobby Kaufmann (R-Wilton) to the Des Moines Register. “I find this whole hysteria to be incredibly annoying. People have the right to be hysterical … on their own time.”

“I have no issue with protesting,” he said. “In fact, I would go to political war for anyone who wanted to protest or dissent and they couldn’t. But you can’t exercise your constitutional right by trampling on someone else’s. When they blocked off Interstate 80, they crossed a line.”

Naturally, the leftist whiners are already crying about it, that the bill (and Kaufmann) is going to stifle free speech and deny these delicate flowers the right to make their childish angst a problem for everyone:

Spokesthings – remember the demands for gender sensitivity – for the state’s public universities deny weakly that they are spending additional state resources to give hypersensitive students – traumatized by professors, cnn, the dnc, FBI and Wikileaks – a chance to melt down and go into thumb suck mode over imagined tribulations they've been told they should be traumatized by.

“I think universities are the perfect place to have turned on their ears, tax payer money wasted, and a whole generation of wusses raised that will make asses of themselves doing traumatized videos on YouBoob,” said a blithering idiot from a state eunuchversity that's dropping intellectual standards to accommodate dumbed down social engineering. “It’s where we indoctrinate stupid. It’s where we plant these silly, non-productive ideas. I consider it necessary so that the dizzying drop in ethical journalism standards at places like msnbc has a purpose.”

There was a time when universities were meant to be not only centers of learning, but a good place for healthy debate and discussion. Iowa seems to have devolved the approach of stifling one side of the debate – the side that challenges liberal nonsense – to favor the dumbed down side of a discussion or a conversation or a dialogue. It’s become leftist indoctrination, bordering on threats in some cases. A simple philosophical disagreement is greated with cupcakes screaming “CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!” before they’ll allow themselves to grow up and consider a point of view other than their reality-ignorant own.

Sounds like Iowa's lower education is happy to facilitate this one-sided conversation.  

I guess I can understand Iowa eunuchversities wanting to calm the simpering waifs:  after all, their state went to...to...*trigger word upcoming warning..*...Trump.

*Hundreds of cupcakes just wet themselves*

I and my pet rock wish Rep. Kaufmann luck with his bill.  Sounds like what's left of rationality at Iowa's colleges needs it.

EduBawts Gawn Wyld-uh

Yawp...the spirit of the Three Stooges is alive and well, and apparently loose in Botland.

I receive a lot of email for furtherance of education. Some of it might even be legit.

But one I just got, kinda tipped the lid off of my cyncism reservoir, and caused a flash flood wall of cynical to rage down the canyons of my credulity.

You read it, and see what you think. And yes, the following is brung to you just as it was cyber brung to me -- uncut and unedited (other than the phone number):

From: Levi byqyzehhiz@bolessmyth.com
Subj: uniavesityb diplobma (cyncism reservoir flood *buzzzer* already sounding)

Exacly what A GRET IDEA!

Call us by phone (a number with a Delaware area code; yeah, the place where it's the fauxwitch vs the flaming Commie for Senate).

We give a aproach that make it easy for any one with suffcent work experence to recieve a total verifable universty Degree, bachlors, Master or even Doctorat.

Think of whitin four to six days you could be a universty grad. Lot of individal share the same disapoint, they are doing work of the person wich has degree and person who has qualifcation is obtaining all the bucks.

Don't you consider it time you is paid out reasonble payment for level work you doing?

Take oppotunity to generate right move and acguire you due reward. if you more qualify using you knowlege, are missing that peice of document a diplomba that often the passport to succed. Get touch with US soon as spooble and give you work experence the change to ear you higher compensaton you deserve!

Call any time!

In the wake of the devastation that the wall of cynical reservoir water left in my credulity canyon -- tempered by the fact that it's a pretty barren place -- I was momentarily speechless.

It's hard to talk when I just spewed coffee out my nose.

Some moments of recovery later, I dun a wee bit of online research about the number, and found information suggesting that it was, at best, a source of online spamming; at worst, a phishing/ID theft operation. After sending an inquiry off to the State of Delaware's BBB, I found myself in the throes of (de)composition, to an email that tugged at my pant cuff and literally begged for response:

Dear Levi and uniavesityb diplobmans,

Thank you for this kind offer. What kind is still being genetically researched, though the antecedence isn't looking promising, even with a tax cut.

I see by your diction, that you are in Delaware. Joe Biden's from there, so the uncontrolled vowel movements and other cruciverbal faux pas are easily explained. I get that.

I would probably find some curious amusement in having, stuffed and mounted upon my wall, some of your fauxtificates of diplobmas, based not on my academic credentials, but my life experience ones. A Bachlor's Degree in Bachelordom would be nice, albeit redundant: I know I'm a bachelor, and need no stinkin' degree to authenticate it. A Masters in WayWard Storm Chasing would be dubiously prestigious, but I think my photos and anecdotes speak well in and of themselves, asto the (lack of) mastery I have achieved there. A Doctorat in Scambaiting would be a nice conversation piece, but of no comfort to the legions of ethically dysfunctional I have thus baited and infuriated in the past decade.

However, allow me to be of some small, signal service to you: for an online.org that wishes to advertise, market and spam diplobmas, may I make this sincerely-offered, heart-felt suggestion? One meant not to diminish your self-esteem, but to enhance it?

FIRE THE IDIOTS RUNNING YOUR LIBTARD, DUMBED-DOWN EDUCATION IN DELAWARE, AND GET A WORKING SPELLCHECK PROGRAM, YOU ILL-SYNTAXED JACKASSES!

Go ahead, admit it: you feel better about yourselves already, doncha?

Sincerely...really...HONEST,
Ben Dover
Recipient of your spamological mutilated marketing missive

Of no great surprise, I am still awaiting a response (from anyone). I reckon they can't read a single correctly-spelled word I writ 'em.

So much for their diplobma.